Chapter 20 …Doesn't Mean I Won't Marry You

If the palace had been a tomb of fear previously, it is a frantic whirlwind today. Large events like a royal wedding typically take weeks or months to appropriately plan, and the palace staff have less than a day and a half between the announcement and the wedding. Fortunately, a ball for Emelaigne had been in the works so a lot of goods meant for decoration could simply be reappropriated, leaving mostly only foodstuff to be ordered and prepared. Unused rooms need to be refreshed for nobles that wish to stay in the palace after the wedding due to the late hour, and the throne room needs to be set up with benches kept long in storage for formal events such as coronations.

There is so much work to do, guards and even knights are pressed into service for carrying things, potentially lessening security, which is fine with me. Myth appears to be taking no additional precautions. After all, he is probably expecting Waltz by himself to pop up out of nowhere to kill him if anything…as opposed to a full-fledged counter coup. He knows Waltz can teleport, and any precautions he could take would be magical instead of physical. But my allies are arriving by physical means that do not involve the secret passages where he would be sure to guard. I am pretty sure I saw Jurien in a dress with her hair dyed black among the seamstresses called from outside the palace to get my dress done on time, but I do not attempt to meet her eyes. She is still probably angry with me for sneaking away from her…quite possibly angry for being stuffed into a dress as well…and it is best if I show her no recognition anyway.

I never knew Jurien could sew, and it occurs to me that she may have her sword hidden in a bolt of cloth.

My father is in his study, signing personal invitations from the king to the nobles within the city today, as the ones meant for nobles within a half of a day's ride were sent last night to give them time to arrive. Ophelia is overseeing decoration of the ball room while speaking to the head chef. Both of them are under guard, and move mechanically, but give no obvious signs that they are doing anything that is against their will because they have agreed to my will.

If I had to take a guess, they take some solace in that because Lord Decimond is on the guest list, he will have to delay his own wedding to attend mine. No one may upstage royalty, and this will buy me a little time to dispel Rod's curse.

Myth talks to me only briefly in the hall, and that is simply to tell me to make whatever arrangements I like in his stead as he will be 'busy' this afternoon. When I inquire, he simply says that he has to tell someone precious goodbye. I assume this means that he intends to spend this time talking to my mother within the Tenebrarum rather than her portrait in the hall. From behind him, Varg is spinning a finger in a circle beside his ear, mouthing 'crazy.'

I manage to keep a straight face anyway. Mother is no more likely to hear Myth talk to her from the Tenebrarum than from that portrait.

After Myth leaves, it occurs to me that rings are a necessary part of the ceremony and I walk towards the treasury. On the way I see Alcaster, but shake my head at him to tell him it is not yet necessary to kill Myth. But he still asks, and he knows that simply because it appears that I am planning to marry Myth does not necessarily mean that I don't wish him dead. I almost consider telling him to kill Myth, but this could blow up badly if he tried and failed.

When I reach the treasury, it at least, is still guarded. However, the entire palace staff knows me by now as the cursed daughter of the king and Hildyr even though they remember nothing about me before I was cursed. I am allowed entry, and am shown the trays that contain the rings within the possession of the royal family.

I look for something for myself first, pulling out a tray of rings that would fit my finger without alteration. Which of these would I like to wear…. There is one with a delicate lily flower motif that is pretty, but I reject it even though I know it would have been my first choice, once. I can just see the stones coming out during sword practice, and a flower…even my favorite one…does not represent who I am anymore. My essence can no longer be portrayed as something so delicate. Then my eyes land on a ring of rare white gold with a blood-red teardrop ruby as its centerpiece, surrounded by smaller but brilliant diamonds. I hold it up to the light of the candlestick Varg carries. Is this it…does this represent me? I can easily see the ruby as drop of blood, shining against wedding white, and it reminds me strongly of what the fortune-telling witch told me. Whether I have victory or defeat this night, in this battle, I doubt that I will emerge without blood on my hands. After all, I am planning to kill my groom after the wedding with the knife I still have strapped to my thigh if no one else kills Myth first…but for that wedding to occur, several things would have to go badly wrong…including Waltz being killed.

My grasp tightens around the ring for a second before I put it in my pocket, willing the image of my love turning to dust from my mind.

"You really don't want to do this, do you?" Varg asks me, but I ignore him as I replace the tray of rings, and take two trays of rings meant for men out for my consideration.

I realize that I am guessing at sizes for the men. I think Myth's size is a little larger than my thumb, his fingers are slender for a man, while Waltz would be about two sizes larger. I look at the smaller rings first, knowing that Myth leans towards the gaudy, and pick the most gem-encrusted one there that can still be called mannish. I linger longer over the other tray, and find one with diamonds scattered around a black enamel band like stars in the night sky. Waltz would like this.

"You did not pick two rings simply because you are unsure of the crazy witch's size. You have two different rings for two very dissimilar potential grooms," Varg observes.

"I made a promise to wed one of them," I answer, my indifference almost cracking. I cannot let my true self show now. "So it is only practical to have two rings available at the last minute."

"And were both men dead, and you freed from that promise?" Varg asks me, head tilted.

"I am not finding a ring for you, if that is your question," I say dryly.

Apparently, that was his question, because he returns to his silence and spends the next hours not looking at me even as he looks all around me. He is furious, in pain, and yet…he does not slack in trying to protect me.

….

I take supper that evening alone in my room, the rest of the palace still in a frenzied state. The nobles from out of town are arriving right now, as they plan to sleep at the palace after the wedding. Staff not otherwise occupied are showing them to their rooms. I am certain that Parfait has tapped one of them to use their room as a gathering place for her people. My parents, watched over by Myth himself, are socializing with the nobles that do not intend to nap before the ceremony. Some of the nobles have brought their own servants as 'extra hands' to help finish preparations, providing what I hope is perfect cover for anyone Parfait could not sneak into the palace earlier.

I presume Rod is being kept in his room, as are Emelaigne and I. Rod will be at the ceremony, but because Emelaigne is the 'expected' bride she will be out of sight. Alcaster wanted extra insurance, so she will be kept with him in the dining room during the ceremony, close enough to the throne room that a disturbance will be noted, and she will be killed if my father indicates that a coup has taken place.

At least I will know where both Emelaigne and Alcaster are with this arrangement, so I do not object.

At around nine in the evening, I ring my bell and maids and a hairdresser arrive to help me prepare for my wedding. For me, this is tremendously different from the time Ophelia and Emelaigne helped me get ready to look nice for Waltz before a formal event. I know that I am getting ready for either a victory or a nightmare that will take place tonight, instead of simply trying to look beautiful for the man I love. As the maids help me into my wedding dress, I cannot help but wonder which man will help me out of it.

By the time they finish and leave me alone in my room, I am made beautiful by their hand. However, as I look into my mirror I notice that I am so pale the makeup that has been applied to give me extra color stands out on my face more than it should. I close my eyes, taking slow, deep breaths to calm myself because I am starting to feel sick. There is no courage without fear…there is no courage without fear…there is no…. And this rings true in my heart, and I am afraid. So many things could go wrong, and what if I have to live with the consequences of this night for the rest of my life instead of finding Delora on my shelf again? What if it ends here? But…what if it doesn't end here even in spite of a victory, the cycle begins again, and all my actions have once again been for naught? Even worse…what if Waltz dies, my friends and allies are defeated, and I have to marry Myth as promised…and the cycle starts again? Would I still be married, since my words as a witch are binding, to that awful creature as time restarts again and again?

I find that I have no words, even in the darkest depths of my mind, that can accurately convey the horror of that. But I have no choice but to continue on. I must be strong in the face of whatever happens…and my definition of 'whatever' must be flexible. There is always the Law of Unintended Consequences. Whether my actions have their intended consequences or not, something that I did not intend—possibly something I have not even thought of—will happen.

In the meantime, I am grateful that as far as physical symptoms go I only feel slightly queasy. At least I have avoided fainting this time…so far, at least.

"Princess? You look like death itself," Varg says, and I open my eyes and look in my mirror to see that he stands directly behind me, looking into the mirror to see my face.

I do not answer him, instead retrieving the three rings from the top of my dresser to put them in my pocket. Varg frowns at me, and I can see it, even though his mask still covers much of his face. "It's not that you simply do not love the crazy witch…you despise him so much the mere thought of him touching you disgusts you. I suppose that it does not matter to you that he has decided to worship at your feet instead of at your mother's?"

"No," I answer. "I don't love…." I pause for a moment. This might be the optimal time to try to release Fritz, but I will not lie to him…even as Varg. "I don't think, regardless of what fairytales say that sort of happiness is necessarily for the princess…or at least, for the crown princess. My birthright requires me to be married to my duty first." And I am. Even as I hope that I will marry my true love instead of a man I intend to kill, I have still told Myth to expect Waltz to attack him. This tactic is something like telling guards to expect a thief instead of a full-on assault of the keep, so preparations will be inadequate, but I have still put the man I love in danger for the sake of my duty. The fact that I could weep for having done so does not change my actions, nor the fact that given the same choice I would do so again.

I turn around and stand to face him instead of my mirror, and for perhaps the first time allow him to see a smile…but it is a sad, slow smile. "I guess Fritz and I were always more alike than different, in that way at least. He always put duty before his own heart too," I say, looking Varg right in the eyes. "Tell him that I am sorry."

He stares at me for a moment, and I start to turn away, but then feel pressure against my whole body as I am pressed against the wall, and against my lips as I feel myself being thoroughly kissed with all of the violence of a love denied. But no sooner has Varg done this than he hisses in pain and lets go of me as if he has just embraced a hot coal.

And I understand. Myth has ordered him not to lay a hand on me…and pain is the price of his disobedience. "He gave you a curse that allowed him to control you," I tell Varg. "He knew that you loved me, that even as Varg you would still die to protect me. And he gave you charge over me, but did not allow you to act towards me as you wished. The part of you that is Fritz…."

"Is horrified at what you have become," Varg finishes for me. "He has retreated further because he cannot bear it. I have no compunctions about accepting you as you are, but he is heartbroken."

My eyebrows raise. "Then I am an excellent actress if I even fooled him."

"An act?" he asks, eyes wide giving the impression of a wolf sensing a strange, new scent. "This all…it is all an act?!"

"You don't have to stay conflicted like this, the two of you," I explain. "You can just choose to leave, be absorbed back into Fritz, and Myth will not be able to use you as a puppet." I take his face in my hands, looking deep into his eyes. "This is when I am in at my most desperate, Fritz, when I need you the most. It is the only way you will not betray me to Myth."

"He is coming for you just before midnight, Lucette," Varg tells me, his hands encircling my wrists to gently pull my hands down from his face. "He expects Cresswell to beat him here, is waiting until he senses magic being used here before coming to collect you. I…am ordered to kill Cresswell if I can, but Myth expects me to die trying and for him to be able to finish his wounded rival off easier."

That COWARD! "Don't," I ask quietly, not trying to move my wrists from his grasp. "Please don't…."

He sighs. "You love this Cresswell?"

"He makes me smile every day that I am with him," I answer quietly, feeling a lone tear running down my cheek at the thought of my greatest fear realized. "I would rather die with him tonight than spend a long life without him." Maybe if I was dead, the cycles would stop…I could still be with Waltz. And I realize that as much as I love Waltz, that is as much as I hate Myth. I shiver, realizing that I let that snake close enough to kiss me…but I had no choice in it. I had to pay for what I needed.

"I'll take that as a yes. Then…goodbye Lucette," Varg tells me as bright light envelopes him. And there, in his place, stands Fritz smiling uncertainly at me, his curse gone.

And I throw my arms around him. "I've never been happier to see you," I say fervently.

He smiles at me, but then looks at the clock. "It's ten minutes to midnight," he says, and I let go of him. "What is the plan?"

"Both Waltz and Myth should be showing up any minute," I tell him. "Myth needs to be killed. Then we rescue Emelaigne from the dining room and capture your father…I'm sorry about that, Fritz."

Fritz shakes his head at me. "According to Varg, Father gave me the choice in joining him in the coup against your father, or being cursed. I chose the curse thinking he might relent…and knowing that going against your father was wrong. He…did not relent. As much as I hate it, so far as I am concerned, he has sealed his own fate."

I nod, and continue. "Then we go to the wedding, and immediately afterwards you should probably be the one to bring your father in and accuse him of treason against the throne if you think you can bear it. If you think you cannot, Parfait will do so. However, it would be most believable coming from you, and the Lucis Bearer should still be there to back you up."

"And this is taking place while all the guards and knights that belong to my father or are spellbound sit quietly?" he asks, simply in case I have overlooked this.

"I may have invited a few more witches, fairies, and swords into the palace to deal with that eventuality," I say dryly. "I'm not sure how many got in, but I'm certain I saw Jurien here earlier today. If she doesn't kill me herself for sneaking away from her to carry on this charade, all should be well."

He doesn't have time to even snort a laugh before I hear the handle on the door turning, and I practically shove him behind the curtain by the door that hides the cords I pull to summon the servants. Fortunately, it is Waltz that walks in.

I drag him in and quickly shut the door. "Myth will be here any minute," I tell him. "Now quick, do something destructive that looks like the aftermath of someone being killed." I need to cover things so it appears that Varg followed orders, and was destroyed. "You also have my permission to make it look like you are holding me against my will, and I have a friend hiding behind that curtain."

Fortunately, Waltz does not question me or delay and a hot, roaring fire envelopes my couch, destroying it, leaving a large burnt spot in the middle of my room. We go to the far side of the room, him holding me by the wrist and wait. It is less than two minutes before my clock will strike midnight when my door handle turns again.

Myth comes into the room, seeing first the black mark on my floor and grimacing at it before his eyes come to rest on Waltz and myself. "Let her go, traitor," he says grimly. "I would not have my bride harmed."

I know that he would like to have me out of danger, but I did tell him to make it look like he was holding me. Obediently, Waltz instead casts a shield that envelops us both but pushes me down behind him. And then the two witches start to fight in a flurry of light with magic so filling the air I am surprised that I cannot smell it, both of their eyes promising only death.

I know that Waltz is usually the victor in such contests, but he is also concerned about me. When I feel a force grab me, I do not yelp or protest, scared to death of distracting Waltz from his fight. It pulls me from behind Waltz between when he has let one shield go to cast another, but he still notices me.

"Lucette!" he yells, and he tries to move his shield further to protect us both while something purple crackles around Myth's arms, just about to be released.

And Fritz shoves the curtain out of his way and draws his sword in one fluid motion. He does not shout, or taunt…he does not give warning as his blade finds Myth's throat and cuts through his neck like a wolf going for the jugular…like Varg going in for the kill. Blood spurts from the end of Myth's neck, finding my gown, before the last bit of light leaves his eyes and he turns into a pile of dust on my floor.

All three of us are still for a few moments, catching out breaths, stunned. "Lucette!" Waltz yells, running over to me to take me into his arms, and I cannot help but give a small wail as I wrap my arms around him, ever so grateful that his heart is still beating. I almost don't notice the feel of the power of the Tenebrarum start to flow into me as my magic awakes, and my necklace that breaks and falls away from my neck as the clock strikes midnight.

"Lucette…you're shaking," Waltz says, brushing his hand against my face. "Did he…hurt you?" he asks, as serious as death.

And I know what he is truly asking. "No, he didn't…hurt me," I tell him. "I'm just relieved that you're not dead."

He nods, tension releasing from shoulders, and he looks over to the pile of dust. "Thank you, Sir Fritzgerald," he says, his arm still around me as we turn to face the door and Fritz.

"Just take care of her," Fritz replies.

A flicker of understanding crosses behind Waltz's eyes. Maybe he remembers the fortuneteller's prophecy, and realizes that his life had indeed depended on Fritz's choice to allow me the man I loved. "You curse…?"

"Gone," both Fritz and I answer at once.

"Then we have more work to do," Waltz says. "The others are waiting in a room off the next corridor. We assumed that you would know where any hostages were kept. Emelaigne hasn't been seen today, and isn't in her room."

"Alcaster has her under guard in the dining room," I answer.

"And then you have a wedding to get to," Fritz tells Waltz. "The Princess promised that in exchange for Mythros not forcing her to release Hildyr, she would marry her mother's apprentice…and it looks like you are the only one left standing. You have until the clock strikes one to help her keep her word."

Waltz's eyes grow big, and then they come down to rest on mine. "I realize that this isn't the traditional way of doing things, but I would like to take you up on your previous offer," I say, in reference that he told me on our final night that he would pledge himself to me. "Would you marry me tonight, Waltz?"

"How is it that you always manage to surprise me?" Waltz asks. "Of course I will. I would never refuse you anything. Let's save your sister, and then go get married."

"I'll take that as a 'yes,'" I say with a smile.

Fritz quickly wipes his blade on the curtains before sticking it in its sheath though there is still obvious blood spatter on the hilt and sheath and follows Waltz and I through the halls until we get into one of the guest rooms. Waltz knocks twice, then once, and the door opens to reveal the dearest friends I have in the world. Karma, still in a dress, is there standing with Jurien and Garlan who jump up as soon as we enter the room. Parfait, Delora, and a few witches and fairies that I know by face if not by name stand together in small circles in the large room. The only ones not present are Rumple and Annice, who I suspect are at the Marchen and prepared for any injured that arrive there.

And Jurien takes one look at my dress, and glares at me. "I swear Jurien, that was Myth's blood, and not a drop of it mine!" I get out, and her glare softens.

"Myth is dead," Waltz says, "Alcaster has Princess Emelaigne in the dining room, and Lucette made a deal in which she has to keep her wedding date if not the original groom. We have no time to waste."

No one wastes time in further speech as the lesser witches and fairies either pair up with each other or a sword and scatter down different halls, and I presume they are disrupting spells controlling loyal guards and binding the disloyal ones. Parfait and Delora come with Waltz, Fritz, and I and we start running towards the dining room.

Waltz and Delora don't bother to distingue guards as real or false in our wake, putting each one to sleep as we pass. "I'm so happy to have friends again," I get out, grinning at Delora as she gets a large guard that suddenly appears from around a corner. We are making good progress, and doing something I never could have alone.

"I know you said you liked me, but a friend?" Delora asks, as if shocked. "How do you treat your enemies?"

"Well…" I say, pointing down to my dress.

"Oh, right," my second favorite witch says. "You manipulate your enemies to accomplish your goals, and then dispose of them so thoroughly they end up as nothing more than a stain on your dress. In that case, I am happy you consider me your friend, Princess."

"I can see us being friends for many years, Delora," I say. "I see that I have not yet succeeded in my quest to give you grey hairs. I shall have to try harder."

Delora quite nearly squawks, as if she is trying to imagine what more I could do to give her grey hair, but we have arrived at the hallway before the turn to go to the dining room. I look at Parfait, who appears about fall over and I grab her before she can collapse. She really needs to stay out of the fighting, and if I have to I can make a good shield to keep the two of us safe.

"I'll stay here with Parfait while the rest of you get Emelaigne," I say, looking at Fritz, Waltz, and Delora who appear relieved that I am not insisting on coming in with them. I would, but for the sake of efficiency, and…. "She would not trust my voice now, so if someone can cause a distraction…. Fritz, she would trust you to come rescue her," I tell my knight, and he nods. "Lead my sister out, and let the witches do what they must. He will have his most trusted men in there with him."

I hold Parfait up, looking in every direction as she recovers from the sprint. This is not battle damage, something that will make her die faster, but her body is so much more frail than mine. Between my youth and months of practice with the sword I am not even winded while she has trouble catching her breath. Still, she smiles gratefully at me as the other three run around the corner. And I realize that once more the two Bearers are working together, compensating for each other's weakness, doing together what neither one could do separately. This has not happened for years, as the fairy and the witch work to restore balance again. And I know that to maintain the balance of the crystals, we must first balance each other.

And I can't help but wonder if this is the first time Parfait has trusted me as her equal. Quite possibly, this is the first time I have been worthy of it. This time, we are putting my plan into action and it hasn't blown up in my face…yet.

….