A/N: I apologize for the long delay. Hopefully soon I'll be back to more regular updates... I appreciate you all sticking with it and continuing to review. It means a lot. :) Anyway, see the first chapter for the disclaimer. I hope you guys enjoy this one, and please review!

Chapter Nineteen

She swallowed back her fears as she made her way cautiously into the room. He was alone, she realized, and silently thanked God for that. He was also sleeping, so she hesitated, unsure of whether to venture in further.

He turned to look at her.

So much for him sleeping.

"Sydney?" he asked, completely confused.

"Hi, Jamie," she said tentatively.

He sat up. "What are you doing here?"

"Danny said it'd be okay if I stopped by… I should've checked with someone once you were awake… I just…"

"No, no," he said, interrupting her. "It's okay."

"Is it?" she asked, still not moving further than the door.

He looked down at his hands.

She nodded to herself at his nonverbal answer. "I shouldn't have come," she said.

"No," he said firmly. "I'm glad you did."

This time, she actually believed him.

He tilted his head to the side somewhat before returning it upright. "You can move away from the door, if you want. I promise I won't do anything bad."

She smiled slightly as she made her way in. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

Jamie shrugged. "Gets better every day."

Sydney nodded, standing awkwardly behind the visitor's chair.

"You know, it's not going to be any more or less awkward for you if you sit in the chair instead of hide behind it," he commented.

"Can't hide it, can I?" she replied, sitting in the chair.

"You don't need to be nervous, Syd. I don't hate you."

"You should."

"You should hate me, too, you know."

She shook her head. "I could never hate you. You're too sweet."

He smiled slightly. "Likewise. How's your mom doing?"

"I, uh, I haven't talked to her as much lately," Sydney said softly. "She was mad I called off the wedding."

"Mad at you, or mad at me?" Jamie replied.

"Me, not you. I told her it was my call because I wanted to go to London."

Jamie nodded. "I'm sorry she's mad."

Sydney scoffed slightly. "No, you're not."

He smiled. "Yeah, you're right. How's the rest of your family?"

"They're good. Sabrina's got three kids now."

"What, did she have twins or something?" he asked.

"Had one, adopted another," she replied.

Jamie smiled. "She always did have a big heart. Very sweet."

Sydney smirked. "I always thought that if she wasn't married, you'd be with her instead of me. Although, I guess that doesn't matter as much now…"

"What happened between us, Syd, that was my fault. Not yours. I became a cop and put that life before ours together."

Sydney shook her head. "No, Jamie. It was my fault. We could've made it work. God knows we'd had a lot of fights. I just… I gave up. Gave up on you, on us." She frowned. "I just wanted to be selfish and take the opportunity, and… we could've done the long-distance thing. But I… I gave up on us."

"It wasn't easy bein' with me after I became a cop. I know that."

"You were never easy," she teased lightly.

"You met my family," he replied. "Shouldn't be surprised."

"Oh, I never was."

Jamie smiled.

"So, are you seeing anyone?" she asked.

"Just the Sarge, but I don't think I'm his type," he replied.

She laughed softly.

"How about you?"

"Married to the work," she told him. "Another reason I gave up. I didn't want to be second to your work, only to put you second to my work."

He sighed. "Syd, you and I both know that we could sit here for hours and argue about who's more at fault, especially since we're both lawyers, but it really wouldn't get us anywhere. So maybe we should stop talking about our relationship and start talking about the last three years. How was London?"

She shrugged to herself. "Fair enough. London was cool and rainy, but a very good experience. I came back, though, after the case closed two years ago. I missed New York and my parents, you know?"

"Yeah," he replied.

"How's the NYPD treating you?"

He shrugged one shoulder. "It has its moments."

"Good moments, or bad moments?"

"Both, I guess. Got to go undercover. That didn't end so well. Had a partner other than the Sarge. That didn't end so well, either. But there have been some good cases here and there, times I felt I was making a difference to people. Can't ever complain about taking down the people responsible for Joe's death."

Sydney arched her eyebrows. "You mean it wasn't the dealers or whoever they went to serve that night?"

Jamie shook his head. "He was taken down by a fellow cop."

She flinched a little. "Oh, Jamie. I'm so sorry."

He looked down at his lap in response.

"How's your family?" she asked, changing subjects slightly.

"Well, clearly you've talked to Danny lately," he replied with a grin.

She shrugged. "He was the easiest one to get to. I didn't want to just show up here. I didn't even know what hospital you were in. I just… I needed to know if you were okay."

"I'm doin' fine, Syd."

She looked him over, knowing that physically, that was probably close to the case, but his alluding to the tough times he'd been through meant that emotionally, he wasn't even close. Yet, she wasn't about to call him on any of that right now.

"Erin's good," he said, interrupting her thoughts. "Got a promotion a little while ago. Linda went back to work as a nurse, so she's been in and out of here. Jack and Sean are getting so big… Linda and Danny have their hands full with those two. Nicki's decided she's gonna become a cop too, much to Erin's chagrin, but she'll be a good cop."

"Definitely," Sydney agreed.

"Dad's fine, Grandpa's fine. Everyone else is good."

"I'm glad to hear that."

Jamie smiled easily. "It's good to see you again, Syd."

"It's good to see you too. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I'm sorry I hurt you too."

The two of them fell silent for a few moments before she sighed softly. "I should get going," she said. "I have a trial bright and early tomorrow."

He nodded.

She stood up. "You take care of yourself, okay?" she said.

"Yeah, you too," he replied. "Maybe sometime we can talk again, as friends."

She nodded, ignoring the pang in her heart that wanted more. "I'd like that." She walked over, giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Bye, Jamie."

"Bye, Syd."

She did her best not to look back as she walked out of the room.