Warning: This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.
Disclaimer: It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.
Roxas is just... impossible
"Why are you so tired?"
I responded by groaning and thumping Demyx's shoulder, wishing it were a little more comfortable. "Long story."
"What were you doing last night? And why is there... um... plantlife on your head?" Demyx pulled a half-dead leaf out of my hair and eyed it with distaste.
"Um... well... I was in a tree."
The bus came to a sharp stop and I was tossed off Demyx's shoulder, nearly smacking my forehead on the seat in front of me. "Which tree? The huge apple tree in your back yard?"
"Yeah," I lied, pushing my videocamera further into my rucksack with my foot. "And I, um, I watched the sunrise."
Well, if I was at all poetic I could probably find a way to compare Roxas getting dressed in the morning to a sunrise of some sort. As it was, I just enjoyed it. A lot.
Demyx was looking at me suspiciously. "What ever happened to "Sunrises are shit compared to Roxas"?"
I swallowed. "Well, I still like sunrises, it's just that Roxas is better."
"So you're telling me that you chose watching the sunrise over watching your videos of Roxas in the showers after PE?" Demyx wasn't buying it. Shit. "Hm... I find that difficult to believe, somehow."
"Shut up, okay? Why would I have leaves in my hair if I hadn't been in a tree all night?"
"Well, I'll give you that, but – wait. Wait. We are both thinking of the same tree here, right?" Demyx's face turned from mildly suspicious to irrationally furious. "Do not tell me that you were in Roxas's back yard –"
"Oh, yeah, actually I was. Anyone would think I was madly in love with him or something! Silly fucking me! But no, no, it's fine for you to run around kissing him like he's as cheap and easy as you –"
"Hey!" Demyx snapped, causing more than one head to turn our way. "Don't you fucking pull that on me, I'm not cheap or easy and you know it –"
"Oh, really? That's fascinating," I growled, "considering that you're somehow passing Xigbar's class in spite of only handing in one essay, somehow passing Luxord's having handed in, oh, I don't know, jack shit, and then there's the string of boyfriends beginning with Vexen and ending in – well, I don't know, because I doubt anyone would want to go near you in case they catch something nasty –"
"You bitch! You absolute little cunt, how could you say that?" Demyx was getting most of the crowd's sympathy, being the pretty one with the charming smile and, at the moment, the tears summoned at will. "My sister's in hospital –"
"So is his," I hissed, "and you took advantage of that. You took advantage of his misery and his fearing for his sister –"
"You can't exactly talk about taking advantage, Axel. I saw you feeling him up in his sleep." My jaw dropped. That was one thing I actually hadn't done. Everyone was whispering and giving me the worst looks, almost all of them completely unaware of who we were talking about. As long as it didn't get back to Roxas I couldn't care less. "You're a pitiful excuse for a human being –"
"And you aren't? While your sister is taking what could be her last breaths in the children's ward of the hospital, you're seducing everything with a dick just because –"
"Don't bring my sister into this!" Demyx roared, as the bus jolted to a sudden stop and the driver got out of his cabin.
"What's going on, boys?" he boomed, regarding us with slightly crossed brown eyes. "I won't have you distracting me while I'm driving! The others all want to get to school in one piece, don't you, kids?"
They all nodded like terrified bobbleheads.
"Axel started it," Demyx whimpered, retracting most of his body into his seat and pouting. The driver wasn't taking any of his bullshit, though. He scowled, his face like a thunderstorm in high summer, and approached us, the bus shaking under his boots.
"Names and classes. I'll be seeing that you're dealt with by the principal."
The rest of the bus winced in sympathy. Maleficent was not a good person to anger. (She was barely a person at all, now that I think about it.) Demyx started sniffling next to me.
I took a deep breath and said, "I'm Axel. Just tell her I'm the redhead, she'll know who you mean." It was almost boring, getting into trouble all the damn time. I only did it for Roxas, really.
"I-I can't see Maleficent, I'm... I'll get held back again, I'm so sick of it, please, sir," Demyx begged, practically waiting for the Oscar to land in his lap for the fantastic show he was putting on. "My little sister wanted me to get into college..."
"You know what, Dem? Fuck you." The bus driver's eyebrows spiked. "I'm so sick of you getting away with everything, getting everything you want. The only thing I've got is way too much munny and a nice comfy spot in the friendzone of the guy I like. You enjoy getting off with every guy that takes your fancy. I'm done."
I pushed past the driver and stormed out of the bus, slamming the door behind me and walking in no real direction with my hands deep in my pockets. As the bus sped past me, I saw Demyx's pale face looking out of the window at me, a strange mix of remorse and "Haha, fuck you, I win". I swallowed hard, adrenaline thrumming through my veins as I kicked pebbles ahead of me, completely unaware of where I was going.
"Hey! Hey, you!" I turned on the spot. "Shouldn't you be in school, young man?" The man was tall, thin, and his bald head was starting to turn blotchy with age. "Do your parents know you're – Axel!"
"Yes, Joe, my parents do know I'm Axel." Joe grabbed my hand and started shaking it vigorously. "I haven't seen you in ages, you know."
"I know, I know, been so busy with the business and everything..." He squinted at me. "Are you okay, Axel? I mean, I can't say I'm surprised at you skipping school, but you look..."
"I'm just tired," I said easily. Well, I was tired. Staying up all night in a tree tends to tucker you out just a bit. "How's the business going?"
Joe runs a small business from home, some retail thing involving cars. I can't pretend I care, but I always asked because he was really flattered that I remembered, and it then gave me the right to bitch about my problems (mostly my parents, since Joe is a bit old-fashioned so I haven't come out to him yet).
"Ah, it's brilliant! Got an ad in the Sunday Twilight News for no cost at all because Ella's daughter is seeing the editor, it's getting quite serious, so you know," Joe winked, "we might be getting wedding invitations through the post some time in the near future!"
"Ooh, that'd be great," I said with an enthusiastic grin pressed onto my face. "Isn't it Ella's birthday soon?"
"Exactly a week before Christmas, yes," Joe nodded. "Speaking of which, who are you hoping to catch under the mistletoe this year? Anyone in particular?"
I shrugged. "Nah, not really."
Joe nodded. "You know, Ella wanted to try setting you up with one of her daughter's best friends. I had to dive in and stop her. You wouldn't have liked Christine, really. Far too dull for you, I thought, all mousy-haired and vacant, wants to be a vet or a doctor or something awful like that. I thought you'd hate me forever if I let Ella set you up with her."
"Nah, Joe, I couldn't hate you if I tried. Hey, um, do you know if my parents are planning to be back by Christmas?"
Joe sighed. "I'm not sure, Axel, I'm sorry. You really shouldn't be alone for the holidays, you know. Never liked your parents' habit of flying off all over the place and leaving you alone, but what can I do when they're my main financial backers?"
I shrugged. The cold truth was that without my parents throwing their munny around, I wouldn't have met Joe and Ella and the others who worked for Joe's company, and I also wouldn't still be in this school. They had threatened to throw me out hundreds of times, but they never did, because they were getting sizeable donations from my family on a regular basis.
"Well, anyway, I hope things go well for you. Never hesitate to call me, you got that, young man? You could always spend Christmas with me if you like." Joe's son died in a motorcycle accident two years ago. I always feel like a replacement.
"I think I might stay with Demyx this year," I lied. I had no intention of staying at Demyx's house over Christmas, however much his mother begged me to. I felt like an intruder most days, but with Henna ill...
"Okay. Have a good one."
Yeah, right.
A bit about Hayner
"So... what?"
"What what?" I asked slowly. Hayner and I were sitting on the pipe outside the boys' bathroom, our asses burning because the pipe was meant to be carrying hot water to every radiator in school. "Are you expecting me to turn around and tell you that I'm madly in love with you?"
"Roxas, we're in the same boat here. We both have little sisters who are seriously ill –"
"Hayner..." I said, "...with all due respect and everything... it's kind of different for you." He waited for my explanation. "See, you live in a house filled with people, life, laughter. I only ever had Naminé. She was my only real friend when I was younger, she knows everything about me and I know everything about her, she's helped me through everything..." I sighed. "I'm not saying it's worse for me, because I know it hurts like fuck, but... do you even know Henna's middle name? Or her favourite colour?"
He shook his head. "No, I don't. But I wish I did. At least you were smart enough to get to know your little sister before she wound up hooked up to life support."
I sighed. "I think we're getting a little off-topic here. My point was, I don't know what you want me to say."
"Yes?" he said hopefully, brown eyes finding mine and looking more human than I was used to them.
"But..." I closed my eyes tight, not wanting to see him looking at me like that. "Hayner, I think I like someone else."
I could hear his disappointment in his voice. "Who?" he asked softly. "Is it who I think it is?"
"Tall, skinny, rich?"
"Red hair, green eyes, major attitude problem..."
"The only person to ever make me feel safe..."
"Constantly being teased by Demyx about the guy he likes..."
"Five miles out of my league..."
"Not really, if anything you're out of his..."
I laughed. "Erm, on what planet?"
"On the planet where I love you and want you to be happy." Hayner stood up and stretched. "I did everything I could to win you over. I guess that now the redhead should get his turn to woo you."
"That's the thing, Hayner, I can't picture him wooing anyone. He didn't win me over, he just was him and that was enough to... well..."
"To attract you. Huh, wish I'd known that sooner." Hayner shrugged. "Well, good luck with him. Let me know if he lets you down."
I laughed hollowly. "I don't even think anything would happen, you know. Apart from anything else, I think he likes Demyx."
Hayner started laughing insanely hard, his face going pink and the laughter sound itself fading into squeaking and shaking and clapping his hands together like a seal. "Sorry... Sorry, Rox, it's just that, well, Axel would rather commit suicide than hold hands with my brother, never mind any shenanigans."
"R-Really?"
He collected himself a little, wiping tears from his eyes. "Yeah, really. I'm not sure who he does like, but you don't have to worry about it being Demyx. Anyway, I heard that the two of them had a massive argument on the school bus this morning."
"Oh, that sucks. Maybe I'll talk to him about it."
"Yeah, go for it! Let him cry on your shoulder and then offer to take his mind off it and then get laid! Simple!" I laughed in spite of myself. "Listen, Roxas... just go out there and be happy, right?"
"Yeah. Promise you won't wait for me or anything dumb like that?" Hayner nodded. "Cool. I'm gonna go and, you know..."
"Woo your redhead, yeah." Hayner sighed. "I'm going to go and hit on Olette until Pence gets pissed and throws stuff at me. Good luck with Axel."
I nodded. "You're a great friend, Hayner. Thanks."
"Can I have one kiss before you go and make orange-haired babies with the juvenile delinquent?" Hayner asked, batting his eyes at me. I sighed.
"Fine, one kiss, but only because you've been so supportive about everything." I leaned forwards and kissed him very lightly on the lips, then ducked away.
"That hardly counts for anything, you pussy! C'mere, you have to do it properly." I giggled. Something about this was oddly similar to the one kiss (just one, only once, although Axel seems to care a lot more than most people who are just your friend would) that I had had with Demyx a while ago. Hayner smelt pretty similar, and he flirted in sort of the same style as his older brother. But it felt lacking, powerless – one kiss with Hayner or Demyx did less for me than a single look at Axel. It felt sort of warm and comforting, but nothing more. There was no energy, no spark.
In short, it was like kissing your grandma.
"There, that's how you – oh, shit. Shit, fuck, shit."
"What?" I asked, turning around even though I suddenly felt sick to my core. "Axel..."
He was just standing there like a deer in the headlights, like a rabbit faced with a gun, like a... like a...
Like a jealous teenage boy.
"What... Roxas... what..." He swallowed. "You and..."
"It's not what you think, I swear." Hayner took a step back because Axel had suddenly regained motor skills again and was advancing on us. "Axel, hear me out –"
"You little bitch," he snarled, pinning Hayner to the wall.
"Axel!" I said sharply. "Axel –"
"You can shut the fuck up, Roxas." Well, that shut me the fuck up. He was not a fun person to be around when he was angry. "What the fuck were you two doing?"
"I was... I was trying to get into Roxas's pants. It wasn't him. It was all me."
"Um, no, Hayner –" I began, but Axel turned and glared at me and I almost recoiled.
"Are you telling me," he said, suddenly a lot quieter and a lot scarier, "that you and him were kissing, and that you were one hundred percent okay with it?"
"Don't be a bitch to Roxas," Hayner said quietly from the wall to which Axel had pinned him.
"Don't tell me what to do." Axel let go of Hayner. "Fine. I'll leave you two to it."
"To what? We weren't doing anything!" I snapped. "He kissed me because I said I was going to go and find the guy I like and try and woo him, and he was just wishing me luck and finally giving up on me, thank fuck, and woo is a fucking stupid word, and I'm so sick of this!" I turned away. "If either of you follow me..."
"Roxas..." Axel said weakly.
"Rox, c'mon..." Hayner beseeched me, as I began shuffling down the corridor, my head hung and my teeth tight together.
The thing is, they've got it okay. Axel never loved anyone enough to miss them if they went, and Hayner is the least dependant person you'll ever come across in your life. They didn't have anyone that they couldn't bear to lose. But if Naminé died...
I shook my head. There was no point being pessimistic about it. I was just going to have to take life as it came. The only problem with that was that at the moment, it was coming all over the place (hahaha I made a sex joke) and I was getting really sick of it.
xxx
Hey, you guys. I just did something stupid :/ Ah, well. Long story short, people will be disappointed in me tomorrow. But today isn't tomorrow, so I'mma just upload fanfiction.
Something deeply troubles me, you know. This fic is way more popular than My sister talks to fire and my brother is gay. I know that fic is longer. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea. But please, I beseech you from the bottom of my heart (haha, bottom) to at least have a look at it. I love it to pieces, I'm really proud of it. And The Babysitter, but that's only if you're into XigDem, and it's my first canonical chaptered fic, (as in, it's the first one that fits into the actual KH storyline) so it might not be perfect. But PLEASE go read them. Don't be boring old hats and just stick to one fic, okay? Thanks in advance. I really love you guys. I think I would actually be dead right now if not for fanfiction.