After his father told him about Maggie calling back, Stiles decided that he wouldn't waste anymore time trying to find Maggie. It was shocking to Scott but he could see that Stiles fear had turned to anger. He wasn't willing to talk about her, wasn't willing to let anyone else bring her up in conversation. It was almost like he'd regressed back to when Maggie first returned home but Scott could also smell the sadness on Stiles whenever he caught him in a daze of his own wandering thoughts. Scott couldn't bring himself to be completely mad at Maggie either. He needed to know her side of it. He always needed to know her side of things. There had to be a reason that she had lied to them. There had to be some reason that she would put them through this. He didn't want to believe that Maggie would knowingly hurt them but then he remembered a conversation they shared over spring break.
"No matter what happens, where we all end up, we'll face it together. It's us until the very end."
Scott remembered the conversation and how pained she seemed during the conversation but he felt stupid after the fact now that they were in a situation where she was actually hurting them unintentionally. Now Stiles was throwing himself into anything and everything to distract himself. He hung out with Heather a lot more, spent a lot of time working on his lacrosse skills and even dropping in every now and then to help Scott with his studying. Scott also found it easier to throw himself into his studies rather than worry about everything else. His mom had told him that it was best he concentrate on himself for a change so that's what he did.
Stiles had told his dad that he didn't want to talk about Maggie anymore. He explained that it was too hard to think about and it was even harder running into Nathan at a grocery store knowing that he wouldn't tell him where she was. He knew that she was alive and able to communicate with people but she made the choice not to contact him. He knew that if he kept dwelling on it, it would drive him crazy. The last postcard he got from Maggie told him simply:
Please stop looking for me.
No I'm sorry or I'm okay. Just that she wanted him to stop looking for her. The curious part of him wanted to know why, wanted to run down all the leads and find out where she was just to look her in the face and see that she was okay and knowingly pushing him out of her life. But he didn't. The last time he had called her cellphone to leave a final message the box had finally become full. He no longer had her voice to get him through and that crushed whatever spirit he had left. He threw himself into going out more. He had hung out with Scott some but he knew that his studies were more important if they wanted to start junior year together so he tried not to distract him. Heather had taken him out a few times to hear his sob story about Maggie but she did everything she could to take his mind off of her. He had gotten particularly drunk one night and she stopped him from cutting off his hair now that it was grown out. He stumbled into his room and plopped down so hard on his bed, he knocked everything off his nightstand.
"Shit." He cursed aloud leaning over and picking it all up. The moment his eyes skimmed over the walkie talkie, his thoughts drifted to Maggie. He picked up the walkie talkie angry that one thing could make his thoughts drift back to her. He had had a really good night not thinking about her once and just like that she found a way back into his head. Stiles laid back on his bed holding the walkie in front of his face staring at it for a moment before hitting the button on the side.
"You want to know something that really pisses me off? I mean besides the fact that you completely blew me off, lied about it and are now avoiding me like the plague?" Stiles spoke freely thinking no one would ever hear his drunken ramblings anyway.
"You always find a way into my head. I was having a perfectly good evening with Heather and I managed to actually have fun. We didn't talk about you or how shitty it is that you did what you did or even how miserable I am without you. I laughed and enjoyed talking about her big birthday party she was going to have that I could bring Scott to, I drank alcohol and managed to be a pretty humorous drunk according to Heather." Stiles defended.
"But then I get home and knock all my stuff on the floor and just like that you're right back in my head. These stupid walkie talkies...what was I thinking?" He laughed annoyed with himself but let himself truly think about why he got the walkie talkies. He was terrified of losing Maggie when he got them and yet he'd lost her anyway.
"You never believed me when I told you that I was in love with you, did you?" He spoke sadly licking his lips. He wasn't really waiting on an answer but he was still upset that he didn't receive one.
"Maybe you didn't care about me as much as you thought you did. I find it really hard to believe that when you love someone, you could just push them out of your life like this. I mean, if I wasn't so pissed off, I'd actually feel sorry I ever made you feel this way. I guess that's just karma right?" Stiles chuckled bitterly.
"Wherever you are, whatever you're doing...I hope you are happy to know that you've sufficiently made me regret falling in love with you." Stiles anger got the better of him as he stood up quickly and launched the walkie talkie at the wall, watching it break into three different pieces. He felt his chest rising and falling heavily as he tried to calm himself down.
What he didn't know is that he wasn't just talking to a void. Maggie stood in her room staring at the port that held her walkie talkie and let a tear roll down her cheek. She had rushed into the house to get supplies that Deaton had asked her to pick up when she heard Stiles voice in her bedroom. She couldn't help but stop what she was doing and listen to him talk. She may have hardened herself in the past few months but the moment she heard his voice, it was like the whole world stopped so he could be heard. Her heart ticked for just a slight moment reminding her of the boy she hadn't been able to reach out to. She could tell he'd been drinking just by hearing the slight slurring of his voice but she could also hear the angst as he spilled his guts to a presumed empty room. She tried to shake off his words but they followed her. She popped up from the ice bath to see Deaton with a towel and dry clothes with a look of disappointment on his face.
"Your mind isn't focused. We can't break through the block if you aren't focused. You know that." He reminded her as she dried herself off.
"I know." Maggie pinched the bridge of her nose growing increasingly frustrated with herself. She knew that there was a reason Deaton had told her she had to cut Scott and Stiles out of her life while training and this was a prime example of why.
"Are you still having trouble sleeping?" Deaton questioned looking Maggie over.
"I'm always having trouble sleeping but I guess that comes with the territory of killing someone." Maggie pulled her shirt over her head, not caring that her wet bra defeated the purpose of the dry clothes.
"If you hadn't killed her, she would have killed Isaac." Deaton reminded her. Maggie rolled her eyes at Deaton.
"I know that, I didn't say I regretted killing her. It's just kind of a pain now to have to take something in order to sleep peacefully through the night. I'd rather welcome the nightmares if it means I'm practically defenseless in my sleep." Maggie tossed the towel on the metal table as she pulled on some jeans.
"Derek mentioned some concerns he had about you. He thinks maybe it's time you reached out to Scott-" Maggie cut Deaton off.
"That's a terrible idea. You were right about them being distractions. I can't bring them into this right now. We're too close to finding Erica and Boyd. I can't afford to be anymore distracted than I already am." Maggie explained firmly. He gave her a nod knowing that the more time that passed that she couldn't access her memory to remember the scent of the alphas in order to track them down, was another day she became closed off. She had taken his words to heart instantly realizing just how dangerous the alpha's were. No matter how much Scott and Stiles hated her for what she was doing, she knew it was the right thing to do.
"School is starting back soon. You'll need to tell them eventually." Deaton smiled slightly.
"I've been thinking about not going back. I can home-school or something." Maggie shrugged earning a laugh from Deaton.
"Who do you think will be able to home school you exactly? I'm a veterinarian emissary but I don't exactly have the time to tutor you in Chemistry." Deaton joked but Maggie let out a sigh.
"You need to go back to school Maggie. You'll need to talk to Scott and Stiles about all of this, maybe not in gross detail but enough so they know why you needed the time and space." Deaton put his hand on Maggie's shoulder trying to comfort her. The time she spent with him this summer made her realize why Scott looked up to him as a father figure. He had a gentle yet strong nature about him that made you feel at ease even in the most tense of situations.
"I'm not going back to school until we take care of the alpha pack which means we're running out of time." Maggie leaned back against the metal table staring down at the ice bath. She had been put through the tortuous ice bath quite a few times since recovering from the alpha attack trying to fish the memories out of her subconscious. It always wrecked her afterwards but she had promised Erica that she would save them. She couldn't stand that she was in the hands of the alphas still even after promising to stay strong.
"It's getting late. We can pick this up again tomorrow." Maggie shook her head at Deaton.
"I want to try again." She slid out of her pants once more and tossed them on the table.
"I don't recommend that at all. You know how risky this procedure is, especially for you." Deaton's expression became even more concerned watching Maggie de-robe once more.
"I don't care. I need to remember the scent. There's no telling how much time they have left and the next full moon is coming up. You said it yourself, I have to go back to school soon and I'm not going to be able to focus on a semi normal life if I'm worried about protecting everyone I care about from the alphas while they stand on the front lines." Maggie grabbed the bag of ice from the freezer and sat it at Deaton's feet. She knew he had his objections but she didn't care. He took the bag and dumped it into the tub as Maggie prepared herself for the icy pain once more. She took a few deep breaths, completely clearing her mind of Scott and Stiles and focusing on that night she killed Laci, the blood on her hands and the feeling of Deucalion's hands on her face before letting Deaton inject her with the serum. She laid back in the water and fell back into her memories to see what she could pull out of it.
When Derek had gotten back to the loft that night, he could hear Bob Dylan's Hurricane playing from up in Maggie's room. He walked up the steps to see her sitting on the bed with a notebook on her lap and a vintage vinyl player sitting in the corner.
"There's food in the fridge." Maggie said without looking up at him. He waited for a few moments to see if she would actually acknowledge him.
"Where did you get that from?" Derek's question made her look up at him before glancing over to the player with a shrug.
"Oh dad said it was a late birthday present. It's pretty nice actually." Derek's eyebrows went up. She glanced over at him seeing a stunned look on his face.
"It's just a vinyl player Derek. I still love your gift more." Maggie teased slightly but Derek shook his head.
"I don't think I've ever heard you call him dad before." Derek's words made Maggie stare at him for a few moments, trying to register just what kind of emotions were coming off of Derek. She didn't know what to say so she didn't bother saying anything. Derek turned around to leave the room but Maggie finally spoke up.
"Stop telling Deaton I need to talk to Scott and Stiles. You made me a promise. Don't break it." Derek didn't turn around. He stopped walking and looked over his shoulder.
"You made me a promise too." Derek reminded her making her grow silent again. She knew what promise he was referring to but calling him out on checking up on her with Deaton would only start another argument. He left her room and caught Peter's scent almost immediately. He darted out towards the lift and came face to face with his smug uncle as the doors opened.
"Hello nephew-" Derek put his hand around Peter's throat backing him into the elevator with a growl. Peter put his hands up in surrender with an amused looked on his face.
"If you hurt her...if any of this was supposed to be a way to use her in any way, I will have no problem cutting your head off and making sure there isn't a spell, chant, voodoo priestess or whatever other loophole you could think of to bring yourself back." Derek growled in Peter's face. Peter could feel the stink of jealousy coming off of Derek but he also felt the anger in the way his claws dug into his throat.
"Green is really more Maggie's color, Derek. But all I can say is that my intentions for Maggie are pure. No matter how much you care for her, she'll always be my daughter." Peter said slowly making Derek grit his teeth. He let his hand drop from around Peter's neck and took a step back as Peter patted him on the shoulder. Derek went to the roof to think while Peter visited with Maggie. He didn't know what to do. He thought about calling Scott, he thought about actually taking Maggie and running for it but nothing seemed like a reasonable option. He heard the door open behind him and caught Maggie's scent as she walked up to the edge to stand next to him.
"Peter leave?" He asked before she could say anything.
"Yeah he left." Maggie answered keeping her eyes in the same direction as Derek's. They stood silently for a few moments before she looked over at him.
"You know that I need you right? I can't do this without you." Maggie's words made Derek furrow his eyebrows together.
"What are you talking about? I'm right here." He grumbled.
"I know you're worried about me with him but I'm not stupid. I'm not going to forget what he's done. You and Isaac are the only thing's getting me through everything right now and if you start looking at me like I'm falling apart, I'm going to lose it." Derek looked over at Maggie seeing how grown she looked. In just 4 months, she had seemed to transform. Whatever innocence she had left was slowly being diminished by the day to day grind she put herself through.
"This is all going to get a lot worse before it gets better Maggie. I need you to start being more careful. I promised I would keep your secret from Scott and Stiles but you promised me that you wouldn't get reckless. I want you around for a very long time." Maggie nodded her head at Derek leaning into his shoulder. He closed his eyes for a moment before turning and letting her lean into him. He kissed her forehead affectionately wishing away her silent struggle in his own mind before the door to the roof opened again. Isaac popped something into his mouth and smiled.
"It's still strange to see you hug someone." He walked towards the two of them as they pulled away from one another.
"Do you think you could land on your feet if I threw you off this roof?" Derek threatened making Isaac glance over the edge.
"Play nice, both of you." Maggie hit the both on the chest with the back of her hands. The three of them stood looking out at the lights of Beacon Hills. The town seemed so quiet and peaceful at night but they knew what lurked in the shadows. They knew what was after them and in their eyes, it would only end in bloodshed. Maggie reached back and laced her fingers with Derek and Isaac. They didn't question the gesture. They'd actually grown used to her reaching out for reassurance. They just weren't sure if it was so she knew they were still there for her or to keep herself anchored.
Authors Note: I typically put these at the top but because this is the final chapter of WLB, I figured I would let you know that the next installment to this series will be called Pull You Back. You can expect it within the next few weeks. Thank you to everyone who read both Strangers and What Lies Beneath. You guys are truly an inspiration and I hope you enjoy what I have in store for S3A.