A/N: ily guys for bearing with me…i'm going 2 try 2 post 4-6 times a week, but i'm sorry if i fail u ;) i promise to be better at this, cuz i haven't really posted new stuff since the Speedo. here's chapter veinte. (did i spell that rite?) enjoy!!

I sit on Alice's floor, fully dressed (I no longer look like a stripper), waiting not-so-patiently for Alice's next evil torturous plan to make me look stupid. Then I hear the unmistakable clank of plastic on plastic, and groan. It's undoubtedly Rosalie's makeup box.

"Alice!" I whine. She's back to pawing through the clothes scattered all over the floor. "More makeup?" I've only worn makeup twice in this entire makeover, but neither time has been particularly enjoyable for me.

"Rosalie and I decided to split the makeover," she replies distractedly. "I do clothes, and, if necessary, she'll do makeup. I promise she'll only do it if it matches what I'm picking out."

"So makeup matches whatever this outfit is," I surmise, frowning. Woman Emmett (or as Jasper dubbed it, Emmette) and Emo Emmett were not fun for me, and I can't imagine that this outfit will be any more pleasant.

"Not telling," Alice laughs.

"Oh, come on, I can hear her makeup box," I remind her. She doesn't answer, just picks up a pair of dark pants with—are those chains?

Rosalie returns then, carrying (as expected) her crate of beautifiers. Jasper snickers at the sight of the makeup, or at my face, I can't tell which. "Alice, dress him up," Rosalie commands, placing the container at her feet. Alice smiles, amused, as she throws me a big bundle of black.

I pick out each individual article of clothing. There's a black t-shirt, with the name of a Goth-sounding band written on it, black jeans with chains (I'm right about that) crisscrossing the legs, and combat boots. Alice proceeds to toss at me all manners of spiked jewelry, including a collar and wristbands.

"Goth?" I exclaim. I glance at Rosalie. Her face mirrors Alice's. To humor them, I put on the Goth clothes, the chains jangling discordantly. I strap on the collar, feeling like someone's bulldog, and face a giggling Alice.

"Go ahead, Rose," she titters. I glare icily at her. Rosalie drags her makeup bag toward me, smiling evilly, and pulls out three powders: one black, one white, and one red. She takes the white one and dusts it on my face.

"Bella, sweetie, will you paint his nails?" Rosalie asks busily. Bella stands up and takes the nail polish from Rosalie's hand. I curl my fingers into fists, not letting her paint me. She gently, but with irresistible force, pries them apart and paints my nails a deathly black.

Rosalie is mixing the red and black and smearing it on my eyes while Bella blows on my nails, drying them. When it's all finished, Jasper (oh-so-helpfully) provides a mirror so I can glance at my Goth-ified self. I gasp in horror. I look like a crazed evil clown!

"Welcome to the black parade, Emmett," Edward says solemnly from his seat.

u know the drill. review, review, review! i will (hopefully) have an update tomorrow. TEAM JASPER!! lovelovelove, m