Ok so here it is I'm so sorry its took me so long had so much else going on however uni is now finished so I should have a little more time for writing. (I know that's what I always say!) This chapter has been really hard to write so hopefully it goes well.
Thorin hovered over Dis and the boys. Fili's head was ducked as he tried to avoid eye contact with his uncle. Kili's eyes however told him everything. There was no anger in them, only worry and torment, attributes that should not be reflected in the eyes of one so young. Thorin smiled, a gentle smile that he hoped told Kili that he wasn't cross. He knelt down beside Fili, snaking his hand around the back of the lad's head. Turning Fili still refused to look at Thorin and began to mumble.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Fili just repeated it over and over.
"Shush now lad" replied Thorin pulling him close to him, into an embrace that Fili returned immediately throwing his arms around his uncles neck and sobbing quietly into his shoulder. Kili just watched as did Dis.
"You were right Fili, I did not listen to your brother nor to you" He paused "However you were wrong to do what you did" Fili nodded Thorin could feel it he head still resting in his shoulder.
The forgiveness on both sides continued, hugging and sobbing from the boys and relief from Dis and Thorin that the boys were safe. After a few moments Thorin stood
"We will take our leave now Oin thank you for everything" He raised his eyes at the other dwarf and Oin understood that he was thanking him for not only keeping the boys safe but for trying to make him understand that Kili's "gift" was nothing to be afraid of.
But he was afraid. Thorin was afraid of what Kili might say or dream. It had been a great many years since Thorin had thought about Azog, believing him to be dead. And the thought of Frerin, being able to get a message from Frerin, scared him, not because of Frerin himself, but for the guilt he felt at his younger brother's death, the icy chill that set his chest on edge when he thought of how his brother died and how he wasn't there to protect him. Tears welled in Thorin's eyes, he blinked them away and desperately tried to suppress his feelings.
Dis gathered up the boys but Thorin lifted them both, First Kili, since the younger had no boots on and then he ducked for Fili to climb on his back. It had been a long while since Fili had allowed Thorin to carry him, but he climbed onto Thorin's back and smiled at Kili. The four walked home quietly with only the sounds of a few chuckles on the wind.
Thorin sat sombrely for most of the night, Outside in the yard Dis could see him, sitting out with his pipe, the ponies drifting up to him, curious to the smell of his pipe, His hand every now and then drifting up to pet the ponies, he was at least taking solace in something thought Dis. She keep the boys quiet as best she could, Kili had been awfully quiet, glancing up every few moments as if trying to access the mood. |He held his head fretfully in his hands at times and Dis gave him a concoction of tea that she hoped would allow him to rid himself of his headache, which she was sure he had. Fili had sat close by, playing with carved animals, although his fingers appeared to be running along each of them and there was no game on his lips, as far as Dis could tell.
"Why don't you run outside and fetch your Uncle in, it's getting a little chilly now" Fili looked up at her and froze
"Do I have to mum" He muttered
Dis gulped. Fili wasn't disobedient. Fili was afraid to go out.
"Your Uncle is not cross with you Fili, he is just sad"
Fili stared up at his mother, his ice blue eyes, giving nothing away. He shook his head.
"I don't want to mum"
"Alright, perhaps Kili will go" She turned to her youngest who looked to her then to Fili
"I think he wants to be on his own Mum, he is really sad" Fili spoke up for his brother who wasn't so sure about going either.
"No matter boys, I'm sure your uncle will come in when he is ready" Dis gave in, not for the first time that day she felt as though tears would betray her and she left the boys to themselves.
Thorin meanwhile had no choice in the matter, the tears dropped from his eyes without him trying to brush them away nor stop them from falling. He did not know why, but he felt no shame in letting them fall. He felt like he had let down the boys and Dis. He had not seen what had been right in front of him, in fact he had tried to suppress it. All those nights when He and Dis had made Kili drink a sleeping potion thinking they were doing the right thing. Kili had been right about the orc attack all that time ago, he had known, they were coming, he had seen the fire and then the arrow, that Thorin had denied. Thorin held his head in his hands, how could he have been so stupid, so blind. He sat outside for a long time, he was well aware of eyes behind him and he knew Dis was worried. Yet even now, when he should have been comforting her and the boys he was out here, thinking on his own feelings. So long had he buried them.
Finally he rose, wiping his face he returned to the house. He ready for answers.
Fili and Kili both looked up when the latch on the door lifted and their uncle walked in. He smiled immediately at them and they both smiled back. He sat on the couch beside Kili.
"Kili, don't be afraid, I'm not angry with you, but I need you to tell me everything"
Kili blinked and then smiled, a brilliant flash of love appearing on his face, he crawled towards Thorin as if he had been waiting for those words for a long time.
"Ok, Uncle" and he began recalling the dreams, speaking of Frerin and his father, of Thror and his great grandmother, who had comforted him, and finally of Azog and Frerin's message.
Thorin listened and said nothing, allowing Kili the freedom that he had long denied him.
Kili fiddled with the hem of Thorin's shirt and Fili who had been listening had also crept
Closer, kneeling and resting his head on Thorin's knees. Dis was also listening, visions of her
Husband and brother appearing in her head as Kili spoke.
Thorin believed him, he didn't know why he had doubted him before. He didn't even know if
He had doubted him, but was simply too afraid to admit he believed him. Once Kili had finished he took a deep breath. Thorin pulled into a fierce hug and laughed. Kili frowned and then smiled as he was drawn into Thorin's chest.
"You have been extremely brave my lad. I'm proud of you and you Fili" Fili looked up a little shocked as he hadn't done anything brave at all. "You believed him and you took care of him, as a good brother should" Thorin released one of his hands and ruffled Fili's hair.
"Oin told me something after Kili fell from the tree" Fili began "He said that it is not the dead we should fear as they cannot hurt us but it is the living that we need to watch. He said Kili was more scared of telling you and mum than of having the dreams in the first place"
"I was" Kili replied "At first I was scared but Frerin told me not to be and he said that you
wouldn't listen." Thorin chuckled
"He was right, wasn't he" Suddenly an image of Frerin appeared to Thorin. He was laughing and throwing his head back, much like Kili did when he laughed. Of course he would have come to Kili, they were so much alike, even though they had never known each other.
"Now" said Thorin "I don't want you to go worrying about any of this, I have no need to go anywhere near Bree so I will heed Frerin's warning and yours" He nodded to Kili
"And if you dream anything you come to me and tell me and I promise I will not be mad with you nor will I make you drink sleeping remedies unless of course you want too, do you understand?"
Kili nodded, a smile playing on his lips. He looked at Fili
"You wanna play" Fili smiled, a huge smile, that made his eyes light up, he looked at Thorin and felt Thorin's fingers on his neck.
"Ok, race ya" and Fili took off towards their room with Kili in close pursuit.
Thorin sighed. A big long sigh and he felt Dis arms around him from behind, he reached up and cupped one side of her face.
"I'm sorry Dis, I'm so sorry, I let you down and the boys"
"You have let no-one down Brother, do not be so hard on yourself, be thankful, I know that you always have Frerin in your heart. And now you know that he has us in his heart too." Dis kissed the top of her brother's head, before leaving him to his own thought, the sound of two boys giggling in his ears.
Ok so there we have it. Now we can move on. This is not the end of the story people just because Thorin has accepted it, doesn't still mean it is not ab bumpy road ahead. Lots more to come including more dreams, after all who can resist Frerin! Keep reading and reviewing people and to all those who have reviewed, favorited, followed, I can only say a big thank you, you know who you are, I love you guys!