A/N – Someone told me to stop using BOLD and UPPERCASE so I'll go easy on shouting at you guys. This story is draining me as much as it's draining you. But apparently many of you are die hard fans, I just can't get rid of you that easily. I oftentimes feel that when I end up posting the last chapter for this story, I'll have that one crazy fan remaining who has the twitching eyes and like a stabbed up heart left. There will be one review and nothing else. Everyone else will flee. Ah well, this one will soon be over. So don't worry, the shock therapy will end. Happy reading. I dare you to survive until the end!
Chapter Nineteen
'When They Tried To Protect Me From Her'
xxx
Excerpt:
"Then tell me what you want us to do," Regina was trying to soothe herself, trying to gain back composure.
"I want to make a deal with the Dark One, a new deal."
"Emma, no." Brown eyes grew wide. "You cannot make any deals with him. I forbid it."
"When you're so in love with someone as I am, Regina, I'd do anything to be with that someone. I'd give up everything."
xxx
The castle's ballroom was decorated in such splendor, one could not allow drink in everything at once. Yellow and red cords were wrapped around and strung from boulder to boulder. Distinctly choosing those two colors was something that Emma reveled in, somehow believing that she could imagine a kingdom where things could be combined in that manner. Between two people that were incredibly in love with each other.
The black marble floors were polished to a shine and even as the servants brushed lampshades that were yellow earlier in the day, there was a buzz around the air in light of the festivities to come. Everyone was busy. Even Paws who darted from one streamer to the next, becoming tangled in a string of bulbs that was twisted around the staircase. Emma was too busy in the kitchen to even free the poor animal that struggled and hissed at anyone who tried to help. So it was Belle who rescued the pet, releasing the yellow beast into another room.
Emma was told that she needn't become involved in any preparations. Her parents had ordered the young lady to pamper herself in bed all day whilst being buried in a book. But the blonde had her sleeves rolled up and was neatly plastering one pastry after the next with apple jam. Then wiping her hands, she took up a bowl of mince and began to layer dough that would be baked immediately after.
Barbara, a fully gray old lady who was the head cook, she gazed upon the Princess aiding in the cooking and shook her head. With a smile, Emma's involvement was allowed because no one could step in and stop the mischievous little baby she had known from birth. The little bundle used to come crawling into the kitchen and would curl up under the table whilst work busily went on around her. Now her face was flustered, cheeks covered lightly in flour and emerald eyes darting this way and that.
By five in the afternoon, Emma had to be dragged upstairs by Ruby and Belle to dress in time. A process that didn't take a long stretch of time because when one would believe a Princess should spend enough time getting ready, it took her roughly fifteen minutes. Slipping into a pair of tailored black pants, a long sleeved shirt the color of gold with black buttons. A black leather belt and ankle high black boots. Combing her hair back and then she was fought with, Ruby snatching the brush.
"Leave it down," the brunette gnarled.
"No, I want it up!"
"Don't make me restrain you. Leave your hair down. It looks so wonderful, tumbling down your broad shoulders. Your manly shoulders."
"Shut up," scowling, Emma pinched her shirt upon hunched shoulders and studied the width. "They're not...manly."
"I'm just kidding," Ruby said softly, noting the sudden effect her words had upon a dear friend.
"I like your shoulders," Belle said sweetly from the bed, sitting quite ladylike with hands upon her lap. "Pay no heed to Ruby's comments. She's not an expert on the subject."
"Oh?" Turning to her friend, the brunette frowned. "On what subject exactly? Manly shoulders or men?"
"In light of your birthday festivities," Belle continued, completely ignoring Ruby's question, "I wonder if a certain someone is going to show up."
Emerald eyes grew wide and she stared at her bookworm friend in the mirror.
"Do you know something I don't know?" Emma asked.
"No, I was just wondering. It is your twentieth birthday. It's a very special day. Perhaps she'll come."
"I haven't seen her in two weeks," the blonde confessed, eyes downcast, "she's been really busy with trading and stuff, economics, making renovations on her castle."
"Did you ask her if she'll be coming?" Ruby was intrigued, twirling a yellow ribbon between slim fingers. Dressed in a beautiful red gown, she was already showing, four months into her pregnancy already.
"I didn't ask," Emma took the ribbon from her friend and attached it to a thin braid she had just worked on. Wrapping it around the bit of hair that was plaited neatly, she tucked it deeper into blonde hair and sighed. "I don't think she'll come though."
"But why?" Belle sent Ruby a look and wondered if there had been problems between her Majesty and the blonde.
"I don't know. She's just being really closed off lately. When I see her..." the younger woman picked up a silver chain and unclasped it, "she's all lovey dovey and nice. But when it comes to conversation, I'm like 'hey, how's everything? What's new?' and she's just really brief."
"Because maybe...there...is...nothing...new?" Ruby shrugged.
"I mean, we used to talk for hours about stuff," Emma reached behind her and clipped the chain into place, "we used to talk about random stuff and get deeply engrossed. And now it's like she doesn't want to even start a conversation with me."
"Aw, sweetheart," Belle frowned, playing with the hem of her blue dress that was made from silk, "maybe Regina is really exhausted these days. She was never chatty."
"No, it's like August was telling me. They win you over. They make everything stable. They try really hard to get you back. And then everything afterwards is just...everything just dwindles down."
"No sex," Ruby folded her arms, staring at Emma in the mirror. "Is that it? No fucking? That's why you're so depressed?"
"Oh how bold," the blonde turned around and widened her eyes. "Seriously? I'm not depressed! I just need her to talk to me!"
"I mean, how many times can you actually talk about a book?" Lucas continued in Belle's direction. "Or the sky? You can run out of topics and it does happen. Maybe your hands need to talk more instead."
"Forget it," sighing, the younger woman snatched up her black jacket and shrugged it on. "I don't expect anyone to understand anyway."
"I actually do understand," Belle stood up and stared. "I understand more than anyone, Emma. Because I've been there. Being with an older person sometimes can become stressful because things that you want to speak to them about, they might find it rather childish. Like Rumple oftentimes could never understand my fascination in cats. Or certain books. He was more concerned about magic and robbing people, working on deals. Regina is somewhat...she has always been rather bold but only when it comes to voicing her opinions. When you're left to speak to her about other things like life, she closes up."
"But to me?" Emma shrugged. "I know what I'm talking about, okay? I've been there. We've had some pretty deep conversations. It's not only about books and the weather. I've talked to her on such a deep level, I don't think anyone has ever managed to reach there. And suddenly, I'm being shut out."
"You're not being shut out," Belle said, throwing Ruby a look, urging her to step in and say something. "You're just too special."
"Like she loves you so much, right," Lucas finally pitched in, gesturing with her hands, "with just one look, an entire conversation happens. And there's no need for words at this point. Because you have this connection. Kind of what I have with Belle. We can be in a room and never utter a word to one another. By just looking at her, I know exactly what's her opinion on the matter."
Emma seemed to be deep in thought for a few seconds and then her head was shaken. Surely Ruby had a point there. Connecting on a deeper level would bring about something like that. The need to remain silent and allow body language to take over. Because you were expecting the other person to already be aware of your interests and opinions. Perhaps that was the entirety of the situation. And now she felt a bit more relieved.
"Well, I guess..."
"Don't guess," Ruby playfully tickled her friend's right side, "know for certain that everything will be okay. Regina loves you. I've seen the sparks shooting between you two. Who dominates in bed? I have to ask that."
Rolling her eyes, Emma walked along the corridor in silence, nodding at the guards who smiled back cheerfully.
Xxx
After the flukes of apple champagne were passed around on gold trays held high in the air, a sense of high activity ensued from a particular corner. Apparently Neal, August and Dael were in the vicinity and were having quite a fascination conversation. The guffaw of laughter could be heard across the room whilst ladies hiding behind fans tried to appear amused. After all, August was quite a handsome man and really admired by the female population. Many of their fathers hated Neal because he was a tax collector who they claimed, tried to cheat them. Now into real estate, he oftentimes made a huge profit margin on the houses that were sold and many people didn't take too kindly to such cleverness.
"So Archie says," August's eyes shone, "Archie says, dude can you please help me out? I'm dying to get at least one date. And I'm thinking to myself, geez, I've been on five dates with this woman and she literally sucks the money from your wallet. The things she orders. Fuck."
"An entire table covered in food," Neal gestured as if wiping his right hand over a surface, "and the woman devours everything."
"But I thought Archie was gay," Dael commented in a low voice. "Or am I mistaken?"
"Cecilia is gay," Neal said with a straight face.
"So is Ruby."
"Regina too from the looks of it." Dael shrugged. "I've known my Queen for many years and she doesn't seem to find anything worthy in a man."
"Well fuck," August gazed around, a fluke of champagne held between his fingers, "is the entire kingdom gay then?"
"I find that the majority of women are now turning to other women...sexually," Dael stated, his eyes resting on August a little too long. "You now have competition."
"You're addressing me as if I'm the only straight man within this conversation," August stared.
Neal snorted.
"I might be gay, Booth," the man in question kept his expression bland. He sipped some champagne. "And I might be gay for you too."
"I'm actually a lesbian," Neal shrugged, "if anyone is interested, that is."
"I find your attraction to me as quite...stimulating," August stared at Dael. "If I'm capable of capturing the men too then I am indeed a sex God."
"Who's a lesbian?" Emma neared then and inquired after. "What did I miss?"
"Neal's a lesbian," Dael pointed out proudly. "I'm gay and August is quite stimulated that I find him attractive. Severely attractive. Tell me," Regina's oldest guard leaned in, "is your chest toned as they come these days? Might I be allowed a peek?"
"You need to get your head checked," August commented, smiling into his glass. "One might think you suffered from a seizure whilst being introduced to me several years ago."
"Dude, don't talk about things like that, man...anyone can get a seizure," Neal said, his eyes pinched from a smile, "especially when they find out our dirty little secrets."
Dael winked at Emma. "Emma's gay as well. Aren't you, Emma?"
"Oh yeah," she laughed, flexing her fingers, "I'm so gay."
"Get the head checked, bro," Neal stared at Dael.
"If I am correct here," the guard frowned, "are you suggesting that I should do a...how to put this lightly...a head check?"
"Sure, why not?" August smirked whilst Emma snorted.
"Dude," Neal held up his arms whilst Dael approached with a wicked smile, "back away..."
"I want to make an assessment on things before I proceed..."
"If you come closer," Cassidy warned, but still smiling, "I'm going to turn you over."
"And spank my bottom? Oh you wicked man," flexing his arms, the guard stepped forward still, eyes gleaming. "He's talking dirty to me, Emma."
"I realize that..." the blonde stared back in fascination. "I had no idea Neal was so gay."
A scuffle ensued and hands were twisted around whilst two grown men tried to create a scene. Everyone believed the fight to be entirely real and summoned the guards. Very soon, Emma had to ward them off with a simple explanation, that two fools were just being rather playful.
Emma loved her friends most deeply, gaining new ones, treasuring old ones. She always welcomed their affections and company no matter what. But when it came to Neal Cassidy, her mind seemed to assess his attachment a little deeper than usual. After all, he had been involved in her life at one point as more than friends. They had been together as a couple, something Regina was aware of but chose to remain ignorant on the matter.
She found herself gazing at him and realized that yes, he was quite a handsome man. But so was August. The latter was entirely good looking. Every woman in the kingdom desired him because of his looks and charm. Whilst Cassidy was shunned most times, scowled at. He was the Dark One's son. And everyone chose to step out of his way instead of involve themselves in a confrontation. Rumple wouldn't waste time in getting himself involved to protect his son. Everyone was also aware of that.
Her attachment to Neal was something that even puzzled those in a large friend circle. Ruby wondered about it and never said a word. Belle always saw the good in any situation and let it slip by, that any romantic feelings could be involved. After all, the love between her older friend and her blonde best friend was severe. Something that never came lightly. A bond she always understood because of the similarity in their situations.
But Snow never allowed anything to slip by her.
Standing next to her husband, she studied the way her daughter gazed upon Cassidy and found it rather delightful. It was something that sparked a sense of moral right in her heart. She accepted it since the first day and was really thrilled to find that Emma was discovering how intriguing the man was. Maybe there was something occurring between the two. Because after Emma's split with Regina, she hadn't been aware of any attachments.
Oh Snow, she was in the dark.
"Shit, she's gorgeous," Ruby suddenly said in Emma's right ear and her hand was taken. "Who the hell is she?"
"Who?" emerald eyes tried to follow her friend's line of sight and highlighted a lady with a lighter shade of brown hair chatting with Dael.
She wasn't that bad, Emma thought to herself. With curves that obviously stunned men who were gawking, the lady was dressed in a beautiful red gown that was quite simply sewn but extravagant. Her face was shielded by a sequined red fan and the distinct shade of brown eyes attached themselves unto the blonde. Staring back, Emma wondered why something was so familiar about the woman in question. Very soon, it was known.
As if reading her mind, Ruby and her dazed friend were approached. Lucas couldn't control herself and was staring boldly.
"Emma," the woman leaned in, "you look lovely, dear. Happy Birthday."
"Thank you," the blonde said, still mesmerized. "Have we...met?"
"We're meeting now," Ruby joined in. "Hi," she beamed and held out a hand, "I'm Ruby. Ruby Lucas."
"Pleased to meet you," a slim hand encased in a black glove was held out in return.
"You're gorgeous," Lucas said boldly, her cheeks glowing, "I mean, I love your dress."
"Thank you," brown eyes were quite intense and Emma couldn't speak. She couldn't believe it. "I trust you're behaving yourself after that hiccup involving a nasty pirate?"
Ruby was stunned. No one could have known about that. For this woman to bring that up so suddenly, she found it rather shocking and offensive.
"I beg your pardon?" her shoulders were squared.
"I'm not saving you again."
Emerald eyes were already wide and Ruby stared back in astonishment.
"Oh shit."
"Regina?" Emma leaned in asked in a hushed voice. "Is that you?"
"Yes. It is me. Now pick your jaw up from the floor, Lucas and control your hormones," the Queen quirked, lowering the fan. Her gaze rested on the blonde. "I'm still taking precautions."
"Why?" Emma couldn't understand. "Why couldn't you come as yourself?"
"And have my entrance announced? I'm sparing myself the attention for one night. Just to move as inconspicuous as possible. And it feels rather free to do so. To come into the Charmings' kingdom in a Trojan Horse kind of setting."
"Change back and be yourself," the blonde said, "since when do you hide your true identity from anyone? That's not like you. It's really out of character, if you ask me."
Merely staring back, the brunette didn't reply but remained as she was.
"Unless you're an imposter."
"I'm not," Regina frowned.
"Then prove it and change back to yourself."
"Dear, that's hardly the problem. We have a bigger issue at hand and it's not to be discussed in the open."
"What issue?" Emma stared back.
"Might I ask for a private conversation with you, perhaps in another room?"
"I don't think -"
"Emma," Regina's voice altered to fit her own. The hoarse quality instantly made the blonde trembled. "Stop being ridiculous and listen to me. I need you. Right now. Away from Lucas and the prying eyes of your parents. Please give me the chance to at least see you in private."
"Okay, okay," the blonde held up her hands, chest heaving, "I miss you so much too. If you are Regina. Ruby," she turned to her friend, "follow me and until this...person changes into who she says she is, and she shows me evidence that it's her, then I'll allow you to leave me alone with her."
"Nice," Ruby beamed, feeling rather enlightened to be the witness of that. "Sure thing."
With a sigh, the light brown disguise trailed after the blonde whilst she was followed also by the eyes of her mother. Snow was so unbelievable at times, things could be occurring right under her nose and she had no idea. At that very moment, the lady gazed upon the scene and saw it as either Ruby leading a potential girlfriend away or her very own daughter was about to be hooked up quite nicely with anyone but the Evil Queen.
Into a room they went and the door was secured whilst Ruby remained near it, awaiting the scene to unfold.
"Go on," Emma folded her arms, "make the change."
Purple smoke whirled around the woman in front of her and when it was cleared away, there stood the Queen in all her glory. Dressed in the same red gown, she appeared more stunning than before. The difference was fascinating to Emma, as she realized that there could never be another woman who could capture her eyes as Regina did. Quite sophisticated her Majesty was, and in all respects a very attractive being.
"Happy?" Regina spread out her arms and stared.
"Not as yet..." emerald eyes narrowed into slits. "For all I know, you could be Rumple."
"That's...sickening," Regina shuddered, "the crocodile? No way. I don't think so."
"Oh silence, you," Emma said in a stern tone. Her fingers were clicked, eyes lowered. "Come on, lift your gown up."
"What?" brown eyes grew wide. "What for?"
"I need to check your inner thighs."
Ruby was enjoying herself by the door, shaking from laughter.
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" Regina stared in awe. "Having fun?"
"Listen, if you think that you can impersonate my girlfriend," Emma stated, "then you can't fool me unless you do as I say. So lift the freaking gown up or else I'll call the guards."
"No." Folding her arms, the woman in disguise smirked.
"Rumple, I have no time for your games."
"Stop referring to me as that...monster," Regina croaked. "That's gross. Really, really gross."
"Rumple would say that just so I could probably go easy and claim that he's slightly sexy."
"Are you seriously doing this?"
"Ruby, open the door and call the guards, please."
"No, wait." Regina hoarsely spoke up, "wait. They'll throw me out. If I'm discovered here and you will it, they'll have me removed."
"Tell me something I don't know," Emma kept her arms folded. "Rumple."
"Call me that one more time, Swan," Regina pointed her finger, brown eyes burning, "and I'll make you pay in bed. Twice the pleasure, you'll be begging me to stop."
"Go on," the blonde smiled. "You're convincing me already that you're her."
"Why am I even contributing to this?" the brunette flung up her hands and turned around to pace the room. "This is a pathetic waste of my time. Coming here, I believed that at least I could seclude you long enough to give my greetings in private. But it appears as if your firm belief that I'm an imposter cannot be shaken. To what might I be owed this treatment? Oh right!" she stared back maddeningly at the blonde. "I'm still not welcomed here even though I wasted my precious ink in writing up a peace offering. For what purpose? For nothing. I hate this."
"Just lift the gown up and show her what she wants to see," Lucas said from the door, smiling.
"You wish to view my legs for mere pleasure," Regina pointed at the other brunette, "with twisted ideas in your head. I'll have you know that since I'm committed to this..." she scowled at Emma, "...person...I'm not open to public display. A fee is required."
"So if I pay you like, let's say a gold watch..." Ruby felt her way around, "how much will I get to see exactly?"
"My ankles, you twat."
"I like it."
"Get out. I don't accept money. I'm not a whore."
"I never said. You suggested that if I pay..."
"Remove her," Regina stared at Emma. "Before I lose my patience and burn things with my eyes."
"If you don't lift the gown up," the blonde said, "then I will."
"Not with Lucas in the room," the Queen stared in disbelief. "Such things can only be seen by you, my darling."
"Turn your eyes away," Emma said to her friend. "I'm sorry but the descriptions will be the best you'll get."
"You told her about my tattoos?" Regina hissed, moving in, her eyes on fire.
Taking a hold of the thickness of the red dress, the younger woman made one swift movement and lifted it up. She was greeted with a pair of leather pants and scowled. To the woman standing by the door and the lady who was being assessed, Emma stooped down and went under the bottom of the gown.
Ruby watched in astonishment as Regina's brown eyes grew wide as saucers. There was a flutter of movement under there, and the Queen felt bold hands taking a hold of her leather pants. The garment in question was tugged lower and she muffled a gasp between a hand when between her legs were caressed.
"I can't see anything," Emma said from below, "does anyone have a pack of matches?"
"I do!" Ruby grinned from ear to ear.
"Oh this is ridiculous!" Regina took a hold of the bottom of her dress and stepped back gracefully. Her chest heaved though. "I command you to stand and compose your...hormones at once."
Beaming at Ruby, Emma gave her friend a thumbs up sign. "It's her alright."
"You saw the little black butterfly?" Lucas tried to make sure.
"Yep."
"You elaborated that much to your friend?" Regina stared.
"Just the one!" Emma watched Ruby slip out of the room and the door was closed. "It's nothing really. I was just trying to be sure of things, you know? You can never tell."
"I find it rather out of order that you were speaking about something so private to Lucas," Regina said in a stiff voice. "I am very modest an even before we met, whenever I was with someone intimately, my body art was concealed for a reason. I do not wish to advertise that part of me to anyone."
"I'm sorry," the blonde was washed over with dread.
"Added to that, your display of humor can really be annoying at times. It just got quite...out of hand."
Choosing to say nothing in return, Emma stood there and felt her chest collapse inside. She understood the scolding but the severity of it was quite shocking.
"But I greatly admire your attempts to make sure that it was me. That's worth some praise." Regina nodded.
Of all the times she could become very sensitive, it was on her birthday. Suddenly, her throat ached and it wasn't only because of the manner the older woman had used in her speech. The fact that they hadn't seen each other for over a week had been telling on Emma's nerves. She had become slightly paranoid, believing that something had gone wrong. So to be scolded like that without giving room for playfulness, her heart was squeezed.
"Are you well?" the brunette asked, scrutinizing Emma's face.
"I'm good."
Regina waited. "Are you enjoying the day thus far?"
"Yeah, I am."
"The festivities look quite...promising for a very lovely evening." Regina smiled wryly. "Do you mind if I take you to your...bed chamber? I'd like to give you something very special."
Already feeling slightly bruised, she nevertheless agreed. They both disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke that was streaked with white. But none of them noticed.
Upon arriving in Emma's room, Regina gazed around since she was seeing the surroundings for the first time. Brown eyes traveled across the walls that were painted yellow, the large bed covered in yellow and green, the abundance of teddy bears. Her chest of drawers, a vanity top that lacked perfumes but was covered in books.
"Been busy, huh?" the blonde stood there staring.
"Ah, yes." Waving her gloved hand in the bed's direction, two gifts appeared, both wrapped in yellow with red bows. "Quite busy and after you open your gifts, I'd like to inform you of something that has been brought to my attention. And might be entirely displeasing."
"Can't it wait?" Emma sat upon her bed and fingered the red bow, "it's my birthday, geez."
Regina took the tone of voice seriously and her chest heaved. "No, it cannot wait, Emma. You must know about this as soon as possible."
Remaining silent, the blonde began to unwrap the smallest gift first and upon opening a small yellow box, emerald eyes widened. Lying on a white cushion, she gazed at a red necklace with a pendant in the shape of a black butterfly. It had the exact shape of the one on Regina's inner thigh.
"Nice," Emma smiled at the brunette who came to stand closer. "Thank you so much."
"You're most welcome."
Next came the unwrapping of the second gift that was larger. When her eyes rested on yellow lingerie with red lace trimmings, she gasped.
"I've always wanted a pair of these," Emma confessed, holding the silk outfit up, a strap top that was long enough to reach her butt and a pair of yellow lace panties. "But mom would throw a fit if I ever got any."
"I simply forgot that you're still a baby," Regina smirked.
"Hey! I'm twenty today!"
"That you are."
"So when will I wear these for you then," Emma smiled wickedly, pressing the outfit to her chest, "your Majesty?"
Regina suddenly stopped smiling and it was as if the light had gone out of brown eyes. "I..."
"We're committed, aren't we?" the blonde studied the older woman's face and wondered why such change had washed over those beautiful features.
"Why would you..." the Queen blinked, "perhaps the better question would be, what do you consider a...commitment?"
"A relationship," Emma said, frowning deeply and rising from the bed, "girlfriends...lovers...a long term thing. You know, a proposal to come. Marriage, children, kids."
"Emma, you are still very young to consider such things..."
"Regina," the blonde's throat closed up because the truth was coming to light now, all of it. Little sparks that would possibly ignite a fire. Whether a destructive or soothing one, she wasn't quite sure as yet.
"You seriously wish to commit to me...as in marriage?" the brunette stared back. "I am roughly thirty three years your senior."
"Age doesn't matter," Emma said matter-of-factly, folding her arms. "It doesn't matter at all. It never did. And you know that."
"It is your birthday," Regina said warily, hugging herself, "let us not speak of such things."
"No," the blonde shook her head, "I want to talk about this right now. I want to know if you're in this...or am I just a lover because you've had lovers. I know that. You've had them, and then they were just discarded of. I just want to know that this isn't a game..."
The Queen approached Emma and took a hold of her shoulders, brown eyes intense. "Sweetheart, I am in love with you and I've had lovers. But never loved them as much as this. My problem lies in me feeling as if I am hindering your youth because you have so many years ahead of you..."
Regina was basically thinking, some day the owner of the loveliest shade of emerald eyes will look at my wretched face and wonder, 'why the hell did I give up everything to be with this witch?' That's what she was attaching her mentality unto. The fact that things changed, people changed, and young girls' hearts were supposed to be set free, not tied down.
"Why the hell are you talking to me like this?" the younger couldn't understand. "What happened to the heartfelt devotions under that dragon statue when we met? And you told me that you wanted this? What happened to that?"
"Things happen, Emma."
The blonde stared back. "You've changed your mind?"
"I..." Regina's eyes flew open. "What?"
"You told me before that you'd be with me..." and then is when she realized something. That Regina had never really voiced that part at all. She hadn't ever really focused on the two of them getting married nor kids. Every time the subject came up, the brunette would change it.
"The love I feel for you..." Regina's voice had become huskier, brown eyes stinging, "is too intense. What we feel is too intense. And -"
"I was born too late," Emma said in a small voice, her emerald eyes filling with tears. "Great." Turning away, she walked to the window that was open, the green blinds fluttering in the wind, the night already had washed over the kingdom.
"Don't say that."
The air between them was filled with tension.
"I'm just one of the girls to you," the blonde croaked, her back turned on the older woman. "Just as you've said before. Lack of experience, lack of everything. All the other people you've been with, they were obviously older than me. So what am I worth? Nothing more than them."
"Emma, you mean the world to me. We have been risking...everything to be together," Regina said, her fists clenched inside black leather gloves.
"So what are you going to do with me now?" the younger woman remained with her eyes cast outside, gripping the window sill.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Where will this take us? I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't care about age or anything else. All I want is you, Regina...I want to get to know you more and be with you." Emma turned around, eyes severely intense. "And I'm old enough to know what the hell I want."
"And when you reach the age of twenty and ten or...forty, and I am buried within my seventies, will you still want me then? Will you still want this? Because Emma, romance is one thing. But sex and intimacy..."
"Once I have you alone, I don't give a fuck about intimacy or sex," Emma was growing angry, fists clenched. "I don't care about that..."
"So you...would give up everything to be with me?"
"Yes!" Emerald eyes were clouded from tears. "How many times do I have to say that to you?"
"Would you give up your parents' happiness for me? Would you give up this?" black gloved hands were waved about, brown eyes wide. "Because that's what I have been pondering on for the past few days after discovering such alarming news. News that you obviously had no knowledge about."
"What the hell are you talking about?" she was frustrated, really frustrated.
"Emma, are you aware of the truth that lies behind your parents trying to forcefully attach you to Neal Cassidy?"
Rolling her eyes, the blonde sighed and turned to stare out the window again. "Whatever."
"They made a deal with the Dark One when you were just a child to protect your life against me. A deal that was bound by dark magic. So severe that the Dark One has every right to keep us apart."
"You know what's pathetic about you at this point?" Emma said bitterly, their eyes meeting again. "The fact that you'd stand there and come up with every single...nonsensical excuse to let me go. Every single thing you'd magnify just to make me feel as if I have no choice but to let you go. You came here tonight to ruin my fun. All of it. And you've succeeded. If you can stand there and try to cut what we have down like a tree, without finding some way to fight for us no matter what, shooting me down with a shit load of excuses. Then you're right, lady. This isn't worth it."
Regina stared at the woman before her and couldn't believe what had been said. Her chest heaved, heart racing. Surely she had misunderstood such harsh words. Words uttered by someone who had claimed to love her. But this was deserving. All of it. And she had no choice but to continue.
"Your parents signed a deal with the Dark One when you were a baby," the Queen continued, her voice unsteady, "and it clearly states that you shall be wed to Neal in the future to keep this kingdom stable. Meaning that if you broke that deal, then everything your parents worked for to build this...place and what you have, it will be taken away from them. They did this to guarantee your protection from me. Which is why your mother is so severe on the matter up to this day. Because if you do not marry Cassidy then they'll lose everything to the Dark One. He'll own this kingdom."
"And how did you find this out?" Emma said sarcastically, "did you go digging to come up with one hundred and one reasons not to be with me?"
"Will you grow up and shut down the ridiculous behavior of sheer idiocy?" Regina was growing impatient. "Your parents told me."
"What?" Emma frowned. "When the hell did that happen?"
"Three days ago. Your father came to see me and we had quite an intense conversation on the matter," the brunette began pacing the floor, eyes lowered. "I was told that he would accept our union no matter what, if it wasn't for the deal that was made. Quite a pair of fools your parents were to strike a deal with the Dark One. But very essential since your existence was threatened by me. However, he alerted me on the consequences of the matter. That this entire kingdom would be handed over into the Dark One's control if you were to wed anyone else but Neal Cassidy."
"I'm not going to marry Neal," Emma said hoarsely, her eyes huge, "no one is going to make me marry him. I don't care what happens!"
"Then..." Regina was thinking fast, her eyes wide from the blonde's outbursts, "then we must find a way to work around this. Perhaps another deal I could strike with the Dark One."
"Fine," Emma nodded and shrugged, "do what you want then."
And she was severely frustrated with the entire matter. To have these people manipulate her life even before she could walk. Forcing her to marry someone to save the kingdom, something that should be hers in the future. Now to gain such wealth, all that was required was to give up the thought of being with someone she really loved. To marry someone who she thought of as a friend. A best friend. A man who was close to her but not thought of romantically. They had made these deals without her approval just to save her life.
Just to save her life.
The thought of that remained on her mind for a long time whilst she stared out the window and into the night. The sound of music drifted up from the hall downstairs. People were enjoying the festivities whilst she wasn't.
"Emma, let's stop this," Regina said softly, "fighting over what happened in the past. Let's move on and try to deal with what is left. I don't want to fight with you. I was merely relating to you what was told to me. You had to be aware of it at some point and your father wished me to tell you. I didn't mean to upset your evening."
"Well you did," the blonde croaked, hugging herself and staring into the black sky.
"This will be yours one day," the Queen stated, "all of this. It is up to you on what your next move will be. Are you prepared to lose your entire wealth for me? Everything your parents worked hard to achieve? Or will you..." her fists were clenched. "Or will you let me go?"
"If I let all of this go for you," Emma turned to the brunette, her chest cold, "how will I ever be sure that you'll let everything go for me as well?"
Brown eyes grew wide.
"You're a Queen, remember?" the blonde said, "a powerful one who has an entire kingdom greater than this one to rule. You're by far, wealthier and with your power, you can have anything you want. I know that you don't want to marry me."
"Emma, I am sorry to say this but you are terribly wrong," Regina was astonished.
"No, I'm not wrong. Even your friends know you. Maleficent basically said to me that you were always too powerful to even become attached to someone, to believe that the rest of your life could involve someone. I'd just be a side piece. Your mistress. And I don't want to be someone's mistress. I want to be someone's definite future. I want permanence. I grew up with parents who stuck by each other and love each other no matter what. I can't dangle off the end of your chair and hope that somewhere in your busy schedule as royalty, you'll fit me in."
"See reason here..."
"I am seeing reason! You're making excuses!"Emma cried, growing frustrated by the second.
"I'm not! I'd do anything for you!" Regina's tears were hot. "But I can't stand by as a Queen and watch a future one lose her entire kingdom because of me! I can't do that! Who am I to take that away from you? What you deserve? Am I that selfish when in love with you? No I'm not. I'm not that person anymore. You've changed me to believe that I can selflessly love someone. I care so much about you, Emma. You have no idea how much this hurts me. To make promises to you that I might break. To say to you that we will get married when you'd lose everything for me. And then when you do lose everything, when all of this belongs to the Dark One, you'll hate me for it. I'm not perfect. One day you'll look back and wonder why did you ever let all of this go because of me."
"Regina..." Emma had tears streaming down her face.
"I was never worth it to anyone. Can't you understand that? Everything I do, I have done so and failed."
"You didn't fail with me."
"I will."
"I'm not going to let you go," Emma said. "I'm never going to let you go. I don't care what happens. I'll always want you. And I'm going to find a way to save everything because no one should be in control of what we want but us. We can change fate. You and me both. We can."
"Then tell me what you want us to do," Regina was trying to soothe herself, trying to gain back composure.
"I want to make a deal with the Dark One, a new deal."
"Emma, no." Brown eyes grew wide. "You cannot make any deals with him. I forbid it."
"When you're so in love with someone as I am, Regina, I'd do anything to be with that someone. I'd give up everything."
Oh how the Queen felt terrible in that moment to realize that she hadn't been thinking that way in relation to her kingdom. Instead of thinking about giving up everything, the older woman had been thinking about saving all. And this is why the marriage proposal hadn't been taken seriously. Because she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Emma whilst keeping both kingdoms intact somehow.
"I'd give up everything too," Regina lied, her chest compressed. "Just to be with you."
"No, you wouldn't." Emma stunned the brunette. "Like I said before, you're different. Just as my parents would do anything to secure what they worked hard to achieve, so would you."
Frowning, the Queen couldn't understand the confusing words. "What are you saying to me? Emma, you're speaking in riddles and I am growing severely confused. Tell me what is it that you wish for me to do. My head is really aching."
"If I can't find a way to save this, to save my parents' kingdom and I end up losing it. And I end up losing my title as a Princess or whatever. Will you still want me?"
"Out of the question," Regina said firmly, "I will not allow you to let what belongs to you slip away because of me."
"Will you still want me?"
The brunette stared back. "Have I ever stopped wanting you?"
"Will you let me go to save what I have?"
"If it comes to that, then I don't have a choice."
"We always have choices."
"Stop playing mind games with me, Emma. You're being ridiculous."
"Then leave," Emma said suddenly, the air growing so cold, the brunette couldn't breathe.
"What?" Regina stared back in astonishment.
"Leave." Emma folded her arms. "Until I can sort this out on my own. I'll try to do whatever it takes to keep what's to be mine. And to have you too. And Regina, if it comes to a point where I have to lose everything for you and you can't find it in your heart to want me still, then I'll never forgive you for as long as I live."
"It wouldn't reach that point, dear." The Queen returned, regaining her composure. "It never reaches that point with you or your family. Because every time it comes to me, I'm always discarded of. I'm a villain, remember?" The brunette shook her head. "And villains don't get happy endings. You will. You were born from True Love. You'll survive. You'll make the right choices to protect your parents in the end without giving a damn about me. That's how the universe works. Love is weakness."
"No," Emma said softly, "love is strength."
"Oh give me a break," Regina scoffed, throwing up her arms, "you honestly expect me to believe that after all these years?"
"So what are you going to do then?" Emma was so cold, she couldn't even allow emotion to fill her voice.
"After your behavior tonight, just because I have come here to tell you the truth, I have been swayed on my judgment of you. You're so focused on marriage and the future, you're letting go of what's right in front of you, spending every single moment with me right now. Savoring what we have right now. Instead, you're fixated on this notion that life is supposed to be a certain way, a specific chain of events. When I know better. It doesn't work that way. I've seen the hardships of live more than anyone. I know what it's like to lose everything you worked hard to get. And I'm sorry, Emma. But I'm not going to let you do the same to yourself."
"So you're letting me go then," emerald eyes were dry.
"No, I'm hanging on until you make your decision. I'll try to alter this deal that was made many years ago that bounds you to this man. But if I cannot do so, then it's all up to you."
Walking to her bed, the blonde threw herself unto it. Face buried into the pillows, she stiffened up as waves of emotion rippled through her. A head that was on fire and aching terribly. The struggle to breathe.
"Do you want me to leave then?" the Queen asked.
"I don't want to talk to you right now," Emma croaked. "Go away."
There was silence. The music played on downstairs.
"I'll...leave you with this last gift," Regina said hoarsely.
"I don't want anything from you." Balling her fists up, the blonde buried her face deeper into the pillow.
"It's a mirror," The Queen said softly. "Any time you wish to see me, just say my name. I'll be on the other end regardless of the time. Emma, I'm going to speak to the Dark One. I don't want you to make any attempt to make any deals with him. Promise me that."
There was silence.
"Well then, as always, fate took my first love, and now..." Regina blinked through tears, "my True Love hates me for something I was responsible for to begin with. Because if I wasn't a threat before, then none of this would have happened. So it's only fitting that I should leave. After all, I'm the one who keeps ruining your life."
Shaking from sobs, the blonde squeezed the pillow and cried.
Brown eyes that were filled with tears were lowered. A hoarse sob filled the air whilst the Queen disappeared in purple smoke.
Xxx
A/N – If you survived up to this point, then I applaud you. I couldn't even get through this last part without a horrible freaking headache. It was so angsty, it was ridiculous. And yeah, I'm reviewing myself. Lol. I'm letting you know in advance that yeah, you can send the hate reviews now because I deserve it.
But this is the thing. As someone said to me in a review, one must want to let go of everything whilst the other would want to find a way to keep everything. At some point, someone has to become disappointed. Emma is just a twenty year old, confused young woman. Think about it, most of you have friends who got married at that age and started a family. She has this notion in her head that she has to get married before it's too late and she has to have a family like her parents. Also, she's not really ready to take on responsibilities if you notice as well. Emma is kind of confused. She wants this. She doesn't want this. She's not taking things seriously.
She's just focused on LOVE.
Whilst Regina now, Regina has been through life and she knows what it's like to lose things. She doesn't want Emma to lose everything because of her. And when Emma is supposed to understand why Regina is doing this and saying these things, she's thinking 'oh she's just being a bitch and she doesn't want me, she wants the easy way'. Blah blah blah. Regina is thinking, this bitch is going to grow up some day and look back and say 'why the fuck did I give up an entire kingdom for you? You're gray and old and wrinkly. Where the fuck is my money?
I'd like to make this simple for you but the bottom line is, one of them is going to fuck this up. Make your guess in the review.
SEND ME HATE. I FEEL AS IF I DESERVE NO SKITTLES AND NO CANDY. I AM UNWORTHY OF YOUR PRAISES.
SPANK ME SENSELESS.