Chapter Twenty
Disclaimer: I own zilch! Except the lovely ideas that float about in my head and those I can't be 100% sure are entirely my own anyways.
Notes: I've wanted to dip my toes into the R&I writing world for a while now but I had to wait until the black vortex of doom that I call my final year of undergraduate school spit me back out. Thankfully, it did last week and after coming home from completing my last exam, I started writing. The idea came to me a while back when I did a season one rewatch and the wheels started churning on what would it have been like had Jane and Maura met at BCU had Jane accepted and gone. Set in present day so none of that late 70s-80s vibe for our gals. I hope you enjoy.
Summary: Get a better understanding of the family dynamics within the Rizzoli household.
A/N: Ooooh, less than a week before an update. I think I may be back on the horse. Damn, did I just jynx myself? Ugh. Anyways, thank you everyone for the lovely reviews! I do appreciate them, always. Hope you enjoy this next one. Also, please remember that if you spot any inconsistencies (although, I do try to make sure there aren't any), don't be shy to point them out. Constructive criticism is always welcomed also. With that said, go forth and read!
Jane stared at Tommy in absolute horror as he stayed planted in the staircase. He raised his hands up in front of him as if surrendering and quickly said with a wicked grin,
"Whoa! Ma just told me to see if you were awake. Clearly you are."
Jane groaned pushing herself up and at the same time, forcing Maura to sit up.
"Get out!" she roared, pointing to the top of the stairs. Maura just sat silently on Jane's thighs, watching the exchange unfold. Tommy dramatically rolled his eyes before turning on his heels and heading back up the stairs mumbling something about how her sex life wasn't really a secret.
"I heard that!" Jane hollered before dropping back into the bed and covering her face with her arms. Maura shifted off of Jane and fell onto her hip next to her. She remained silent, knowing full well by know that anything she said wouldn't help the situation. Jane kicked one leg into the air, squirming in place before violently pushing herself up and heading towards the stairs.
"Jane," Maura cautioned and Jane stopped at the foot of the stairs.
"What is it?" she snapped and immediately regretted it seeing the slight flinch in Maura's usually unwavering posture.
"You… um… you aren't wearing any pants."
Jane looked down and frowned.
"Thanks," she gazed back up to Maura and gave her a crooked smile as she made her way to her dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers. She pulled them on as she made her way back up the stairs.
"Tommy!" she called out before she'd even cleared the stairs.
"What's with all the yelling?" Angela's voice echoed from the kitchen.
Jane glared into the living room where Frank, Frankie and Tommy were all congregated before joining her mother in the kitchen. She spoke loud enough for her voice to carry to her tactless brother's ears,
"Tommy doesn't know how to knock. I swear, I'm going to install a lock on the door."
She sighed heavily and folded her arms over her stomach. She glanced at the clock and noted that it was early afternoon. They had slept a good part of the day.
"Ma told me to check whether you were awake yet," Tommy shouted from the living room. Jane rolled her eyes before looking at her mother.
"Seriously, ma?"
"What? How was I supposed to know he'd just walk in? I taught him better than that!" she directed the last part towards the living room.
"Ma didn't tell me you had company," Tommy tried defending himself as he waltzed into the kitchen, "Had I known what I was going to walk in on, I would have knocked," he sarcastically finished off. Jane leaned over and slapped him on the arm. Tommy made a surprised face feigning hurt as he rubbed the spot that she'd just smacked.
"It's my room. Doesn't matter if I'm alone or not. You knock!"
So caught up in the regular give and take with her brothers, Jane had yet to process the real meaning of Tommy walking in on her and Maura. The jetlag didn't help either. When it did sink in, she stood there flabbergasted and just stared at both her baby brother and pointed at him,
"Wait… When were you sprung free? Why didn't anyone tell me?"
"You were away! I thought it would be a nice surprise," Angela dried her hands and threw the dish towel onto the counter as she turned to face her children.
"And what's this Tommy was saying? What did he walk in on?" she asked with both her hands firmly planted on her hips.
"Don't change the subject, ma. When did Tommy get out?"
"A couple of days ago and don't give me any of that 'changing topic' business. You are the queen of changing topics, Jane!"
Jane frowned, giving her mother an exasperated look. Whenever anything happened in the Rizzoli house, she was always blamed for it. Frankie would sometimes get the short end of the stick but for the most part, Jane took the brunt of it. Tommy, despite his rebellious and delinquent ways, still could do no harm. Tommy gave what Jane took as an attempt at an apologetic look as he began talking,
"They were… just makin' out. That's all."
Jane let out a long groan as she buried her face in her hands. Why did this always happen to her? Her family had no qualms discussing every aspect of her life even if she insisted that they don't. Angela walked by Jane and pulled her hands down from her face.
"That's all? By the way your sister is all flustered and actin' all defensive, I'd say it was more than that."
Out of nowhere, Frankie popped his head into the doorway of the kitchen,
"Actually…"
Jane cut him off by glaring and pointing an index at him,
"Don't you even dare!"
Angela swatted at Jane's hand,
"Be nice to your brothers! Everybody knows, Jane! You're more in denial about it than your father. Stop being such a prude!"
Just then Jane spotted Maura slip out from the basement. Jane cracked a smile as she took in the sight of a disheveled Maura who had changed out of the pair of boxers she'd borrowed and into a pair of Jane's baggier sweat pants. Jane had forgotten that all of Maura's things were still in the lobby and that Maura had no access to it unless she made an appearance upstairs.
"Right there! That look!" Frankie exclaimed and Jane's face went completely blank as soon as she realized that she had probably been smiling goofily for her entire family to see.
"C'mon, Janie. Why ya gotta be like that?" Tommy asked, oblivious of Maura's presence among them.
"She is rather reserved with more than just this," Maura spoke up and immediately knew she shouldn't have said anything by the look Jane was shooting her way.
"Maura!" Jane grumbled.
Angela laughed and patted Jane's cheek.
"I don't understand how you can have such a confident and outgoing personality and be so closed up about this."
Jane pushed her mother's hand away and whined.
"I'm just going to go crawl into a hole."
Maura locked eyes with Jane's and smiled sweetly.
"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Jane. Quite the opposite actually," she began but Jane cut her off with a drawn out groan. She slowly leaned back against the counter and sank to the floor as if in slow motion.
"Better yet. Someone kill me," she leaned her forehead against her knees and threw her arms over her head. Jane kept her face hidden between her knees and listened as the conversation naturally shifted. Maura and Tommy introduced themselves and Jane was surprised at how well Maura conducted herself considering Jane had barely told her anything about him. Angela shooed the boys out of the kitchen.
"Tommy, next time would you just knock. You're going to drive your sister right out of this house if you don't respect her privacy!"
She looked down to Jane who was still folded over onto herself and nudged her with her foot.
"Jane, get up off the floor, would ya!"
Angela turned to Maura and shrugged,
"She's so much like Frank when it comes to these kinds of things. Maybe being with someone so open like you will help her to open up more."
Jane scoffed as she pulled herself up.
"Doubt it," she mumbled under her breath as she busied herself with brushing off imaginary dust from her boxers.
Angela stiffened hearing Jane but went on as if she hadn't heard her.
"You girls must have been tired. You nearly slept through the entire day."
She walked over to the fridge and opened the door. She started to shuffle things around on the refrigerator shelves as she asked,
"Would you like something to eat? I can whip you up something in no time."
"Oh, Angela, that isn't necessary," Maura insisted looking over to Jane for some reinforcement but Jane simply shook her head. Once her mother was set on something, she was set on doing it.
"Pancakes. I'll make you girls some pancakes."
"Ma does make amazing pancakes," Jane added before walking up to Maura. As Angela busied herself with pulling out some ingredients from the refrigerator, Jane tugged at the strings of the sweat pants Maura was wearing.
"Nice pants," she whispered as her eyes moved up to Maura's hair, "and hair."
Maura's hand shot up to her hair and she quickly ran her fingers through her messy curls. Jane chuckled and left Maura's side to grab some coffee beans from the fridge once her mother cleared it and had moved onto the cupboards to gather the dry ingredients. Jane went about grinding some coffee beans, filling up the machine and starting it. The instant the coffee began to percolate, the tension released from her shoulders. The gurgling sound of the water filtering through the coffee and seeping through into the coffee pot was music to her ears. She grabbed two mugs from the cupboards and placed them in front of the machine in anticipation.
"Is there anything I can help you with, Angela?" Maura offered, feeling a little awkward doing nothing as she stood in the kitchen watching Angela and Jane go about doing their individual tasks.
"Sure, sweetie, c'mere," Angela gestured for Maura to join her. Maura stepped up beside Angela and waited for further instructions. Maura glanced over her shoulder at Jane and smiled warmly at her. Jane was constantly reminded of exactly how lucky she was and how amazing Maura was but as she stood there watching her mother and Maura bonding, she was once again shaken by that reminder. She felt her chest swell and her face grow warm as she grinned back.
"Maura, honey, could you measure out a cup and a half of flour for me, please," Angela instructed pointing towards the flour container. Maura pulled her eyes from Jane and turned back to face the counter.
"Of course," she replied and did just that.
Jane watched from across the kitchen as Maura meticulously measured out the required amount of flour. Every movement the blonde made was in typical Maura style and it amused Jane that Maura had these quirks. Maura wouldn't admit it just yet but she enjoyed these moments with Angela. In them, she could experience what it must have been like to have mother-daughter time. It didn't matter that she was a young adult but when Angela would instruct her to do a certain thing, she felt as if she were a child again and relished the innocent feeling that enveloped her as she happily obliged.
Jane turned away from the scene in front of her to pour herself and Maura a cup of coffee.
"Ma, do you want a cup of coffee?" she threw over her shoulder.
"No thank you. Ask your pop and the boys though," Angela replied.
Jane sighed as she slowly made her way to the living room entrance and asked whether any of them wanted coffee. To her surprise, none of them did and she happily made her way back into the kitchen. She grabbed coffee cream from the fridge and caught a glimpse of Maura as she closed the refrigerator door. She looked comfortable as if she belonged right there next to her mother. With all her social awkwardness, and Jane had witnessed a lot of it, Maura fit perfectly here in her kitchen, with her mother. She put up with her family's antics and never complained about them. Even when Jane was at the end of her rope, Maura somehow managed to highlight the positive. Jane always attributed this to the fact that Maura had grown up with distant parents and if she had grown up in a family like hers, she would be whistling a different tune.
She quickly looked over her shoulder once more before adding cream and sugar to the coffees and fixing up Maura's coffee the way she knew the other woman liked it. She sipped her own coffee as she gently placed Maura's mug down on the counter far enough away from the mixing bowls. Delicate fingers reached out and picked up the mug. Maura sipped it carefully and smiled over the lip of her mug.
"Thank you," she spoke softly as she reached out with her free hand, grasping Jane's elbow and kissing her cheek lightly. Unable to control it, Jane stiffened slightly and kept her eyes locked on her mother and as Maura withdrew, her fingers continued to gently grasp Jane's elbow. Jane didn't know where this knee-jerk reaction stemmed from. She had just never been comfortable with displays of affection in front of her family. Perhaps the answer lay within her sexuality and how she always felt that her family only accepted it and her because she was their Janie. She'd never discussed it at length with them. Her brother Frankie had been the first person she'd ever openly talked to about it when they were in their early teens. The issue arose when Frankie disclosed his undying love for the girl next door who had also caught Jane's attention. Jane never remembered the conversation well but she does remember Frankie cracking a joke about how now he had to worry about competing with his sister for girls. Tommy had approached her a few years later when he was old enough to understand his own attraction to the opposite sex and he had flatly asked Jane if she preferred girls. It had taken her by surprise and at first she had grappled with what to say but in the end she had just caved and admitted it. Whenever she found herself alone with her brothers, it was a different scenario than if she were surrounded by her entire family or friends. She allowed herself to boast and Frankie was mostly the one responsible for bringing out Jane's competitive side.
However, with her parents, it had been much more hard won. She had kept her sexuality a secret for a long time, choosing to believe that they didn't notice the lack of boys in her life except for her team members on whichever team she found herself playing in. When she finally came out to her parents, it wasn't so much by choice. The scenario had unfolded somewhat like the one that had just taken place with Tommy. Angela had walked in on a fifteen year old Jane tentatively kissing her childhood best friend, Cecelia who everyone called Cece. Instead of shock, Angela's reaction had taken Jane by surprise. She'd exclaimed 'finally!' and sighed out of relief. Cecelia had immediately fled, profusely apologizing as she ran down the stairs and out the front door. Jane had simply sat on the edge of her bed staring at her mother in utter disbelief.
The truth had been that Angela had had her suspicions from an early stage in Jane's life and it had originally worried her. She hadn't worried about how it would be received within the household because she would make sure that Jane would be treated no differently if her suspicions were proven to be right and Jane did end up coming out to them. No, what had worried Angela and plagued her for the longest time, and still did to this day, was how Jane would be received and treated outside the walls of their house. She couldn't control the entire population of Boston or wherever Jane's life took her. She fretted about what others would think of her little girl and no matter how many birthdays passed, Jane would always be her little girl. And so, walking in on Jane had been a blessing in disguise because Angela could finally approach her daughter in regards to her sexuality. They had talked about it once in depth and it had taken Jane everything in her to not run away. She had sat uncomfortably while her mother prodded. Eventually, Angela had discussed everything that she wanted out in the open and Jane had happily run off to join her brothers outside.
No matter how many times Angela found herself reassuring Jane that her sexuality didn't bother her, Jane still seemed to try her hardest to shelter that part of her life. She did have her weak moments whenever she found herself accosted by either one of her parents and sometimes both at the same time. There were chinks in her armor and Angela always seemed to know exactly where to find them. She knew how to get to her daughter and only hoped that one day, she'd be comfortable being as open with her significant other, whether that was Maura or someone else, as her brothers were with any date they ever brought home.
"Don't worry, honey. It's not you. Jane's always been rather uptight around family," Angela muttered to assuage Maura and continued, "I tell her it doesn't matter. We love her regardless but she always tries to protect us from it. Love is love, I say."
At that, Jane remained silent but smiled as she leaned against the edge of the counter. She sipped her coffee and watched as her mother made a well in the middle of the dry ingredients and poured the wet ingredients into it. Her process of making pancakes resembled the way she made bread or gnocchi. Even though Jane didn't share her mother's burning passion for baking or cooking, she still admired the way in which her mother went about in the kitchen.
"Perhaps in these particular instances, despite you verbally acknowledging that you accept her lifestyle, Jane still fears that your thoughts may not align with your spoken words," Maura posited aloud but then her hand that had rested at Jane's elbow flew to her mouth as she gasped. Jane laughed and patted Maura's arm gently. Maura busied herself by sipping her coffee, hoping that this would stop her from saying anything more.
"It's okay, Maur. If there's anyone you can be outspoken around, it's my ma. See, you can't control it. She, on the other hand, can but doesn't care to."
"Jane Clementine Rizzoli!" Angela shot out as she began whisking the batter.
Jane watched as both of Maura's eyebrows shot up and an amused look sparkled in her eyes.
"Don't," Jane firmly warned and Maura simply smirked in reply.
"Why don't you two go and do something. I'll shout when everything is ready."
Maura looked over to Angela,
"It was a pleasure helping you, Angela."
Angela smiled sweetly at Maura, dropping the whisk momentarily to bat at the air with her hand,
"It was my pleasure, Maura. Now away with you both!"
Angela shooed them out of the kitchen. They stood in the hallway just outside of the kitchen, staring at each other and within seconds, they erupted into a fit of laughter. Neither of them knew exactly why they were laughing but it just felt right. Once Jane regained her composure, she reached out and gently grabbed Maura's arm,
"C'mon. Let's rifle through your luggage and find you something to wear. Those pants just don't look right on you."
Maura opened her mouth to retort but then looked down at the sweat pants and sighed in defeat. They definitely were not something she'd wear if she had had the choice.
"I do remember informing you that I don't own any such type of garments of my own…"
Jane shot Maura a look and she immediately corrected herself,
"Well, except for that one pair that I wore that night we agreed to never speak of."
Jane grinned at how severe Maura's tone and face turned at the end of that sentence. Jane knew by now that there wasn't much that embarrassed Maura but losing her composure, getting drunk and calling up someone she barely knew ranked at the top of that nearly non-existent list of things Maura swore to never speak of.
They set their coffee mugs down and began rifling through Maura's suitcases. After some time, she finally settled on an outfit. They would bother changing out of their chosen pajamas after 'breakfast'. Jane still called it breakfast even if they were eating it in the afternoon. First meal of the day is always breakfast.
As much as she'd put off Maura spending the night, the outcome hadn't been all that bad. She could have easily done without Tommy walking in on them but then again, the situation only involved some embarrassment and it was all on Jane's behalf but that was just who she was. There wasn't much she could do about it. She did enjoy seeing her mother interact with Maura and she had a feeling that Maura didn't mind the motherly attention. Perhaps she'd have Maura over more often. Maybe… just maybe. She wasn't going to rush it though. Maybe once every two weeks, slow integration and gradual exposure was key as Maura would say. It wasn't so much Maura she was worried about. It was herself. She slowly had to begin dealing with many of the issues that had surfaced earlier.