A/N: So this is a short chapter, but it's mostly just an introduction to the long, long, long explanation of Marik's awesome angst-y past! (Sorry for missing last week, as I told some of you in my review replies, I lost my internet...my heart was literally breaking.)
Disclaimer: Not Mine!
It didn't take many more 'sleepovers' for Ryou to find out something new about Marik: he had terrifying nightmares at least twice a week. The first time he noticed was because Marik was shaking so hard it woke him up.
He tried to wake him up and snap him out of it, as he shifted around the bed listlessly, breathing hard in his sleep, but nothing would wake him up and it took him half an hour for him to calm back down again and fall into a deeper sleep.
It took Ryou significantly longer as he lay awake, wondering what the nightmare had been about.
What could make Marik, wonderful, fearless, bold, tough, Marik, tremble like a little girl?
He didn't bring it up the next day because Marik didn't act like he even remembered it. At first he thought that was the case, but no, a couple nights later when Ryou spent the night again he was woken up by more thrashing and shaking.
He thought about asking Ishizu, or preferably Rishid about it, but wasn't sure if they even knew, after all, it wasn't like they ever slept with him, and Marik didn't make any noises.
He was getting exhausted, spending many nights there even when they didn't take up any night time activities; sometimes he would stay just because he felt much more welcome in the Ishtar house than in his own.
He never took Marik back to his own house just in case his father came home, but that was wishful thinking since the man rarely spared a thought for his son. Really ,it was only a matter of time until Marik realized that Ryou knew, and one night it happened, as he woke up violently from one of the nightmares.
Ryou heard him gasp but assumed it was just a new level of his terror, forcing himself not to try and wake him up, as he did fruitlessly on many occasions, instead gritting his teeth and staring at the ceiling aimlessly.
"Ryou?" Marik asked sleepily in a voice that cracked with confusion and fear, as he tried to sort reality from nightmare. Ryou turned and looked at him with deep sorrowful eyes, reaching out a hand to take his own.
"I'm here," he said, sliding closer on the bed to his lover, whose eyes seemed to flicker in their lavender depths with doubt.
"Did you...did you know along?" He asked weakly, and Ryou nodded painfully. Tears formed in Marik's eyes and started to slide down his cheeks.
He closed his eyes tight against them but they continued to come as he started shaking, only this time he was awake and the onslaught of images, horrible, terrifying images, played behind his eyelids like a horrific roller coaster that never ended.
Ryou immediately sat up, gathering him close to his body, holding him gently so that he could cry against his chest.
"Make it stop," was the only thing he whispered pitifully, and then didn't say another word as he wept helplessly against the oppressive pain for many long minutes, the images of his past brought with them.
Ryou was shocked but didn't release him, as he curled up into a little ball like he was shielding himself from whatever emotions he was experiencing. He had never even heard of Marik crying, let alone been able to imagine it happening, and here he was beside him while it happened, helpless to do something.
When the tears ran out, Marik simply lay there, unmoving, rigid for who knows how long before his exhausted body finally relaxed in sleep, leaving Ryou once again awake to ponder what had just happened.
...
Ryou was exhausted. He could see it now, in the way he blinked and rubbed his eyes when he thought no one was watching even after he had been awake for half an hour.
Guilt mushroomed inside him, wondering how many nights Ryou had spent lying there in the dark, watching him do Ra knows what during his nightmares. Still he hadn't said a word, didn't even say anything now.
Marik wasn't even sure entirely what had hit him last night, but suddenly all the guilt and the idea of Ryou watching him dream about those horrible times was just too much for him. He couldn't even remember the last time he cried; it must have been a long time ago.
With a past like his, excess of homework seemed like a walk in the park where it might have made someone else cry out of pure frustration. Since leaving Egypt, nothing seemed important enough to cry over.
He wondered what Ryou thought about seeing him cry like that. Was he embarrassed? Maybe a little, simply because it made him feel weak, though part of him reminded himself that Ryou wouldn't see tears as a sign of weakness.
He was probably sitting there right now, worrying himself to death while trying to keep all his questions contained because he was that considerate of a person. It didn't matter if he didn't sleep a wink; he'd still spend the whole day worrying about Marik.
It only added to the guilt.
He left early this morning, cheerfulness stretched thin between his exhaustion and pretending he wasn't going crazy with worry over his lover. Marik watched him go and wondered if he had to the guts to do the right thing.
To tell him the truth, no matter how ugly that may be.
What if Ryou hated him?
What if he was afraid of him?
Somehow, that was even worse than hating him.
He deserved to be hated but when someone you love fears you it was like a knife in the back, because it also meant they couldn't trust you.
Could love exist without trust? No, not really, not as far as Marik was concerned.
So what was he to do?
"Did Ryou seem different to you this morning?" He mused aloud tentatively to Rishid who was washing the dishes looking for all the world like a house maid instead of a formidable street worker. Only the slightly raised scars that made curved lines across his cheekbones hinted at his occasionally dangerous occupation.
"He didn't seem as happy as he usually is, but he was working so hard to make up for it that I didn't want to point anything out. I figured you two had a rough night or something," he replied with shrug, looking pointedly at Marik.
His brother knew that look well, it said: now that you've brought it up don't think you can get away without explaining yourself.
"I did anyways," Marik muttered staring at the table top just as Ishizu walked in, glancing at the two solemn men once to take in the situation.
"Nightmares?" She asked simply, and he nodded, pressing his palm to his forehead.
"Really bad ones, they actually woke me up, and he was awake to," Marik let out a small pained groan. "The worst part is, he already knew. Who knows how many times I've woken him up and he just hasn't said anything?"
Rishid stopped washing, resting his hands with a sympathetic but thoughtful expression on his face. He and Ishizu were the only ones Marik would accept even a small amount of sympathy from, and only when he was truly stretched to his breaking point on something.
"The curse of loving someone so kind," Ishizu murmured understandingly, shutting her blue eyes for a moment in respect.
"I never said I loved him," Marik defended, not wanting them to go all sappy on him, even if she was right.
"You don't have to say these things out loud brother, I know you better than that."
Her cocky words were a barb to catch on Marik's temper, and Rishid quickly brought her point home, as he added, "And Ryou loves you, Marik. I'm not an expert on that sort of thing, but he does, I'm sure of it. You need to tell him if you really care about him that much or you're just going to keep hurting him every time he tries to respect your privacy."
"I know what love is, it means trust, I don't need a lecture," Marik snapped, and then breathed deeply, massaging his temples.
Neither of his siblings took the harsh words to heart because in his bitter tone was the self doubt of a rough life that left him at odds with his emotions, a self doubt they both knew well at one time or another in their own lives.
He sighed aloud again, knowing they were right. They knew him too well, they knew when he was hurting, and they could see that he was deeply in love with Ryou.
"I need to call him," he said in way of admittance, and Rishid wiped one hand dry on a towel so that he could toss his cell phone to him. Resting his chin on the back of his chair, he gripped the metal bars tightly in his hands while he put in the number, then listened to it ring for a couple agonizing seconds.
Hey, you've reached Ryou Bakura's house, I can't come to the phone right now but if you leave a message after the beep, I'll get back to you as soon as I can!
That was the cheerful pre-recorded tone of his answering machine that he didn't even bother putting his father's name on since he wasn't home often enough. Knowing Ryou, he was out skating to work off the stress of last night even if he was drop dead tired already.
"Hey Ryou...it's me..."
...
"Hey Ryou...it's me...listen, don't think that you can't come home tonight just because of what happened yesterday. I realize I probably have a lot of explaining to do, but Rishid and Ishizu won't be around so...anyways, the point is, I miss you and I want you here. And...You know I care about you...so see you tonight."
The message stopped playing, and Ryou smiled a little at how awkward Marik sounded. He loved that he had called just to tell him that he wanted him there. It made up for every sleepless night just like that, and the fact that he called his house 'home' for both of them made it even sweeter.
Just as these thoughts flitted through his head, and the tape turned off with a click he heard someone cough. Whirling around, one hand still on the answering machine, Ryou blanched as his faced the only person who ever entered the house other than him –his father.
"That your boyfriend?" He asked darkly, and Ryou swallowed slightly before nodding, not removing his eyes from his father. It wasn't like he'd ever struck him before, but sometimes he wondered how long it would take for him to snap.
He always seemed to come in at the worst times, like right now. Hearing that message probably did nothing good for his view of his already detested son.
A nasty look crossed the older man's face, sneering at the mere concept, though he did nothing else, stomping away as he grumbled something about 'disgusting faggots' and how he should have 'thrown him out a long time ago'.
Ryou winced, but knew it could have been worse. At least he didn't yell or try and stop Ryou from leaving the house. Grabbing his jacket, he quickly made a break for the door, not trusting his father to be so docile for long.
Shutting it softly behind him, he hunched his shoulders against the cool evening breeze and started on his way. Marik's house wasn't that close by, it would be a good half hour walk at least, but it was nothing he hadn't done before.
Taking his father's car was suicide, and taking his own was impossible since he didn't own one. As for tuition, he'd taken up a job at the recreation centre as a skating coach for the little kids but all of it drained straight into his college fund.
By the end of summer he should have enough for his first year. All that really meant though was that he had no pleasure money, and definitely not enough for a car. He might have some loose change for a bus ride but since Marik almost always drove him he didn't know the bus routes off the top of his head.
Oh well, it wasn't that far.
A/N: Awe, Ryou, you're such a sweetheart, it's really not fair :( Anyways, I know some of you wanted his father to be abusive or for him to have an angst-y past to match Marik's, but I was hoping to portray something else, which I'm sure you'll see when I finally get to post part one/two of Marik's (depressing to write) past! ;D
Sorry, no preview for the next chapter! Why? Because I don't want to ruin the part of the story that everyone (seriously, everyone, even people who read 'Beside You'!) have been waiting for, and it pretty much jumps right into it! So hold your horses, next chapter is coming soon!