Day 28
When they made it back to camp, it was before dawn. Octavia stayed in the dropship to help Myles before heading away to help with the watch, and Raven had gone to wake Jasper to start building mines. Bellamy went to organize the watch for the day and to oversee other things. Cheyenne wandered around, worried to death about Clarke and useless again. Bellamy refused to let her help with any of the bomb-building since Clarke wasn't there to ask if it was safe for her. At her wits end with her idle hands, she headed for Octavia.
"Is there anything I can help with?"
Octavia seemed to understand without her saying anything. Looking around, she searched for something the other girl could do. She never got the chance because a gunshot echoed around them. Sterling was scrambling up from his position leaning against a tree, moving the gun in his hands wildly.
Bellamy's voice was roaring at him before he'd even made it to him. "Hey! What the hell is the matter with you?"
"I'm sorry, man, I fell asleep," Sterling said, trying to excuse himself. "I've been on watch all day."
"We've all been on watch all day!" Bellamy gripped Sterling's shirt and jacket into his fists and slammed the younger boy against the tree. "That bullet was one less dead grounder."
"Bell, you're scaring people," Octavia spoke up. It didn't help.
"They should be scared!" Bellamy released Sterling and walked back down to the small area cleared with trees. "The bomb on the bridge bought us some time to prepare, but that time is up. The grounders are out there right now, waiting for us to leave and picking us off one by one when we do. Clarke, Finn, and Monty are gone, probably dead, and if you want to be next, I can't stop you, but no guns are leaving this camp."
Cheyenne's heart burst into pieces at his words. Clarke couldn't be dead. Clarke wasn't dead. Clarke being dead wasn't even an option in her mind until the words fell out of Bellamy's mouth. Her hands shook as she thought about Clarke's cold, stiff body lying somewhere in the dirt for animals and bugs to gather in her skin and devour her from the inside out.
"This camp is the only thing keeping us alive," Bellamy continued, once he knew he'd gotten everyone's attention back on their impending demise. "Get back to work!"
Bellamy stormed off back into camp. When Octavia turned back to Cheyenne, she was already gone. A crash sounded from the inside of their tent, followed by the sound of Cheyenne screaming through closed lips and clenched teeth. Several heads turned at the noise, but no one went to investigate. Bellamy ducked through the flap a few moments later to find the table flipped over. Cheyenne was sitting in the middle of the floor, blood dripping from one of her hands while she sobbed.
Ignoring the blood on her hand, she gripped at her hair and pulled. Cheyenne wailed into her knees, curled in on herself in grief. Blood was smeared on her clothes and on her face and in her hair. Bellamy rushed her, grabbing her hands and pulling them away from where she was clawing at her head. Blood began to smear from her and onto him. She'd cut her hand on the table when she flung it over.
"Baby, baby! Cheyenne! Stop, be still!" Bellamy commanded over her muted screams. "Please, baby, stop before you hurt yourself more!"
Finally, his voice got through to her. Cheyenne opened her eyes to stare into his beautiful brown eyes. While her tears didn't stop, her fighting against him did, and he was able to get her attention on him. She was broken, and bleeding, and hurting, but she was more beautiful than he'd ever seen her.
"Bellamy, she could be dead," Cheyenne keened. "My best friend could be dead."
He pulled her into his lap on the ground, rocking her and keeping her arms away from herself. She fought to get enough air into her lungs. She was back on the Ark and the walls were closing in. Everything was gray. Everything was red. She'd turned the Ark red and now the Earth was red, too. But then there was brown because Bellamy was looking at her again.
"Please, breathe, baby."
"Why does it hurt so bad, Bellamy?" she begged. "Why?"
Bellamy had no answer for her. More of Clarke's words popped into his head unbidden. She's never had anyone but us before. Her pain made sense for someone who'd never felt loss before. So, he kept rocking her until she'd cried herself into silence. With nothing left to do but wait to die like Clarke, he held her and rocked her.
Cheyenne had been inconsolable until he'd agreed to send out a search party for Clarke, Finn, and Monty if they weren't back by morning. Once she'd been able to breathe properly again, she had let him bandage her hand. He was reluctant to leave her alone again after she had hurt herself, though, especially when he was not entirely sure that is was an accident. Bellamy took her to Octavia who was supervising the south foxhole with instructions to watch her and no other explanation. While Octavia was curious as to why her brother wanted her to babysit another human being covered in blood, she held in her questions for the time being to focus on the foxhole. Cheyenne watched with empty eyes as Bellamy headed back for the dropship and Octavia began to boss people around. It wasn't until they got word about a hostage situation that either one said a word to each other.
"Come on, we've got a problem," Octavia said, motioning for Cheyenne to follow.
"What is it?" Cheyenne followed complacently. There wasn't much left in her to fight back.
"Murphy has Jasper as a hostage in the dropship."
They made it in record time, stepping up to either side of Bellamy. Octavia was the first to speak, but Cheyenne couldn't seem to focus. Then Octavia started yelling.
"Murphy! Murphy, if you even touch Jasper, I swear to God, you're dead!"
"Octavia, Octavia, I've got this," Bellamy reassured her sternly.
"Really?" Octavia demanded, glaring up at him. "Because it doesn't look like you're doing anything about it."
Cheyenne watched as Raven ran up to them. Not even her hatred for Raven could penetrate the numbness that was invading her. "Bellamy, you were right. There's a loose panel on the back. If I can pop it, we can get in through the floor."
Bellamy nodded. "Good, do it." Raven ran off again.
Octavia looked down and apologized quietly. She backed off to stand next to Cheyenne when Bellamy started to speak into the radio.
"Murphy, I know you can hear me. All our ammo and food is on the middle level, you know that. You're leaving us vulnerable to an attack. I can't let that happen."
"Well, in case you haven't noticed, you're not exactly in control right now," Murphy responded over the radio.
"Come on, Murphy," Bellamy said lowly. "You don't want to hurt Jasper, you want to hurt me." His eyes were guilty when he glanced to Octavia and Cheyenne, then down to Cheyenne's flat stomach. "So, what do you say? How about you trade him for me?"
Octavia's small no, resonated through Cheyenne's head. "Bellamy, if you do this, he'll kill you."
She couldn't think. She couldn't breathe. First, Clarke was gone, and now Bellamy? A high-pitched ringing was in her ears, drowning out everything but her rapid heart rate. The ground began to spin around beneath her feet, and she was cartwheeling down the halls of the Ark, freefalling in space, dropping through the open air in the dropship.
"If I don't, he'll kill Jasper." He lifted the radio to his mouth before putting it back down. "Octavia… take care of Cheyenne. She's pregnant."
She felt him push her hair behind her ear, everyone staring at the whole situation with wide eyes. There was never a chance for her to see Octavia's reaction. Then he was gone, up the dropship door and Jasper came tumbling out. Cheyenne could only watch as Octavia released Jasper from his gag and the ropes that tied back his hands. The two girls gripped hands when Jasper ran around the back to help Raven. The gunshot that rang through the dropship made them both jump. Shocked back into reality, Cheyenne tried to control her unsteady breathing.
"Bellamy?" Octavia called through the radio. "Bellamy, are you okay? Bellamy, do you copy?"
It was an eternity before they heard back. "I'm fine; just a misfire. Stop worrying and get back to work, all of you. And tell Raven to hurry her ass up."
When they looked at each other, Cheyenne wondered why she had ever judged Octavia so harshly. She cared about Bellamy, too. And she was only caring about that grounder the way Cheyenne cared about Bellamy.
Another gunshot. Cheyenne gripped onto Octavia's forearm tightly, wanting to pray but not knowing how. The pain from Clarke was fresh in her heart and this added stress was making her nauseas. She stumbled slightly but kept upright.
"Alright, everybody! The show's over, get out of here and get it done! Get back to work!" Octavia shouted, waving everyone away with her free hand. When it was just her and Cheyenne, she eased the unsteady girl to the ground.
"Octavia, I feel like I'm going to throw up," Cheyenne gasped, putting her hand over her mouth.
"It's okay, calm down, Cheyenne," Octavia soothed. She rubbed her hand on Cheyenne's back, gathering her long hair up into her other hand. "He's going to be just fine, okay?"
Cheyenne nodded, helpless to do anything but listen. Octavia had known Bellamy for her entire life, since the moment she'd been born. Surely, if anyone knew if he would be fine, it would be her. Settling onto the ground beside her, Octavia pulled Cheyenne close.
"So, you're pregnant, huh? I'm going to be an aunt. When did you find out?" she asked gently. The distraction didn't really work, but it kept Cheyenne's fragile attention away from her nausea at the least.
"The day we went to salvage the Exodus ship," Cheyenne admitted.
"That means you and Bell have been together for a while now, right?" Octavia wracked her brain, trying to figure out if she'd ever seen them interact before other than a few times. She'd certainly seen nothing romantic or she would have said something.
Cheyenne nodded and then shrugged. "It's complicated, I think. Or it was, and now maybe it's not." She sniffed and tried to breathe deep, warding off a gag. "We haven't really talked about it."
Octavia's chuckle made her want to smile but she couldn't. "Yeah, that sounds like my brother – haven't talked about it."
Jasper booked it to the front of the dropship, gathering two other gunners, but it was the rapid gunfire that brought them both back to their feet. The dropship door opened. Jasper, followed by the other two gunners, rushed up and in with Octavia hot on their heels. Cheyenne was directly after, jerking the knife from her back pocket and slicing straight through the seatbelt holding Bellamy's weight as soon as she saw him hanging. It felt like no one had a chance to breathe before he was up on the ladder, slamming into the hatch, and bellowing up at Murphy. A loud explosion happened before the thin metal rod bent under Bellamy's strength. Cheyenne had to back away from the debris-filled air, pulling her sweatshirt over her nose and mouth. With squinted eyes, she and Octavia stood next to the door.
"Raven!" Bellamy shouted down the ladder a few long moments later.
"Bellamy, wait," Jasper's voice followed.
Some muffled words followed, then they were down the ladder. Bellamy crowded Octavia and Cheyenne instantly, pulling them both into his chest. When Octavia pulled back, his hands were under Cheyenne's chin and his mouth was smashed against hers. Her shaking hands fought their way between them to tangle into his hair as her back was shoved against the wall. His hand was between the wall and her head, cushioning it. The last time they'd been in this position, he'd let her skull thump the metal without a care.
"We're going to get Clarke, right now," he said once he'd pulled away from her. His voice was hoarse and strained from the trauma inflicted on his throat. "I'm sorry I made you wait."
"Are you okay?" Cheyenne whispered. Her fingers brushed along the bruise already forming around his neck.
He nodded. The walkies screeched with feedback before Miller's voice was coming through.
"All gunners! We got movement on the south wall!"
Bellamy's eyes widened in alarm. "Stay here," he demanded, and then he was gone. Jasper, Octavia, and the two gunners followed leaving her to watch from the dropship door alone.
But then the gate opened and Clarke and Finn were sprinting through. Cheyenne's head felt like it was going to burst. Everything was too much at once. She had gone from a mental break that made her kill five people, to sitting alone in the Skybox for a year, to being stuffed on a dropship to Earth, to gaining a best friend and Bellamy, to being pregnant, to losing a best friend, to losing and not losing Bellamy, to gaining her best friend back. A few seconds after making eye contact with Clarke, everything went black.