A/N: I lied, this story will have more than 20 chapters! 21, maybe 22.
EPILOGUE
Always.
CHAPTER TWENTY
SIX MONTHS LATER…
Kate is in the hospital.
And he isn't allowed in her room.
Richard Castle paces impatiently outside the door, following the muted lines of the linoleum tiles. His sneakers squeak at every turn, but the sound is barely audible over the dizzying hum of this eastern wing.
What is taking so long?
She had texted him over two hours ago. Her message claiming that she had hurt herself at the precinct gym, that she was fine, and that she needed a change of clothes.
He had rushed to her apartment, picked out something soft, and then rushed to Bellevue. The administrative desk had been hesitant to give him her floor number and the floor nurse had been hesitant to give him her room number.
But he was quite the charmer after all.
"Richard Castle?"
His head snaps up – finally – he scoops up his brightly coloured duffel, scurries toward the scrub nurse who beckons, and darts inside the now unencumbered doorway. "Kate?"
"Hey, Castle."
Kate is propped up in a rather mechanical looking bed, dressed in a faded blue hospital gown, with a blanket across her lap. There is a bandage on her forehead, an icepack at her elbow, and a tube in her hand.
She is upset, but she hides it well.
Castle sinks into the chair at her side, his knees bumping clumsily against the metal of the bed frame as he reaches for her untethered hand. "What happened, Sweetheart?"
"I collapsed," she admits softly, her voice verging on brittle. "I fell off one of the treadmills at the precinct and I hit my head."
"Are you okay?"
She nods. "Just embarrassed, mostly."
"Do the doctors know why you collapsed?"
She nods again. "I'm pregnant, Castle."
His eyes widen, momentarily stunned. Pregnant? Kate is pregnant? That's… that's… awesome! His heart is racing, pounding so loudly that he is sure she must hear it, but when his eyes refocus, he sees that she's crying. Kate dashes away a rather steady stream of tears with the back of her trembling hand and all his excitement suddenly wanes. "Oh, hey. Hey, it's okay, Kate. Please don't cry."
He leans forward, debating the best way to hold her. Of course she wouldn't be happy about this. She wouldn't even move in with him, let alone willingly become the mother of his child.
She is going to kill him.
A knock on the door startles them both, and Castle tumbles back into his chair. A blonde haired doctor glides into the room. "Kate," she greets enthusiastically. "Have you had a chance to share the good news?"
"Yes," Kate replies, and Castle is surprised to see that her mask is firmly back in place, her expression now calm and collected. And warm, albeit, he suspects, solely for the doctor's benefit.
"Wonderful," the doctor exclaims, extending a hand out toward Castle. "Hi, Rick. My name is Doctor Louisa Hartt, I will be Kate's OBGYN."
He shakes her outstretched hand. "Nice to meet you."
"Likewise," she replies, before removing the flip chart from the end of the bed, and giving it a quick read through. She replaces it and squeezes Kate's knee. "Are you ready to get started, Honey?"
Kate simply nods.
The doctor reaches beneath the bed, presses a button and turns a latch, and then slides out two metal stirrups. She straightens them, repositions them, and then moves on.
When Doctor Hartt begins to mould the bed into a chair Castle can't help but lean over and whisper in Kate's ear, "Transformers: Robots in Disguise."
Kate huffs at him, but her body visibly relaxes.
"Okay, legs up, Kate."
She does as she is told, placing her stocking feet, one by one, into the metal supports. The doctor unfolds a sheet, drapes it over Kate's knees, and spreads the stirrups wide.
"I will be doing a transvaginal ultrasound today," she explains. "Since your pregnancy is at such an early stage, it will be easier for me to see the baby if I can go in internally rather than externally."
"Okay."
Doctor Hartt holds up a wand-like device. "This," she says, gesturing toward the device. "Is called a transducer. I will be inserting this into your vagina. It shouldn't hurt, but you may feel some discomfort."
Castle frowns immediately.
It looks big.
He chances a glance at Kate, but she doesn't appear to be bothered. He reaches for her hand anyway, squeezing gently. She gives him a reassuring smile, and returns the pressure. "I'm okay, Rick."
He keeps his attention on Kate when the doctor goes to work.
And he can tell the moment it starts.
"Take another deep breath, Kate," the doctor instructs gently. "I know the pressure doesn't feel great."
"Yeah," she grunts. "It –
Hurts?
He moves to stroke her hair, and presses his lips to her temple. "You are Superwoman," he murmurs. And Kate grits her teeth, sucks in another tremulous breath, and then deflates.
The doctor makes a triumphant sound.
The screen is incredibly blurry, but Doctor Louisa Hartt points out things as if they are actually identifiable. "This is your cervix and this is your uterus and this" – she points to a tiny dark spot – "is your baby."
My baby.
The sight should underwhelm her, but it doesn't.
It terrifies her.
But Castle is watching the screen with such wonder, he is so utterly entranced by the indistinct markings on the tiny monitor that she cannot help but smile. He is still holding her hand hostage, squeezing it every so often, just to check up, and it all makes her love him just a little bit more.
Until the transducer goes unpleasantly deep.
And she is frightened all over again.
Kate turns her head, focuses her flustered attention back on Castle, and grits her teeth. Despite all her best efforts, despite her desperate desire for self-reliance, Richard Castle is her solid ground.
Her tether.
One of which she clings to tightly.
Using Castle was Burke's idea. When her PTSD reared its' ugly head and threatened to destroy everything she had worked for, Castle had held her together. He did it all so effortlessly, he had applied pressure to all the right places and he had said all the right things, and Kate had never felt more helpless.
She hadn't had an episode in months, not since Castle's pneumonia.
But now, with a bubbly stranger between her thighs, an explorative device at her cervix, and a foreign heartbeat in her ears, Kate's eyes fill with tears for all the wrong reasons.
Doctor Hartt assumes that her tears are those of joy, but Castle knows better. He listens as the woman chatters about printing them both a sonogram, but he is watching Kate.
He takes her free wrist and his thumb bites briefly into her pulse point, startling her from the early stages of panic.
Firm touches.
Castle pulls her into his chest, wraps his arms around her shoulders in a bear hug, and squeezes. The pressure calms her, always has, and he drags her from the brink of a meltdown. He hasn't had to do this since his second hospital release, but he remembers what to do.
And he does not let her fall.
To be continued…