The Little Scout
Chapter Twenty
Logan's POV
He struggled to breath. He'd lost Jimmy. He'd lost his Jimmy, his fighter, his Jimmy. He sat in his tent, in his cot. Next to him Jimmy would still be asleep. He should be there, but he wasn't. Logan should be excited for him to wake up. They would talk and then Jimmy would go all deep on him. The Logan would shut him up by kissing him. Once Hal walked in and it was really awkward. He loved Jimmy. He would never meet someone like him, ever. He lay back in his cot and curled into a ball. There was no one like Jimmy. Jimmy had made him feel so much better, he'd made everything normal. Everything he'd ever loved was in that one person.
And now he was gone. His knight was gone, his fighter, his everything...it was gone. And he wanted it back. Logan had done everything right, looked after kids, sacrificed everything for the lives of everything else; all he had asked for was Jimmy. That was it! He'd never been selfish but he was for Jimmy. He was terrified that Sophie would come for him; Logan knew she had a crush on Jimmy, but Jimmy liked him. Loved him. And now he was gone. Logan felt tears caress his cheeks and he wiped them away with his sleeve. He stared around the tent. There was only one other person who had shared the tent with him. And he was always doing something other than stay in the tent. That was nice, when it was just him and Jimmy. Logan couldn't even remember what the other kid looked like. He just sometimes heard him come in when he was reading, yeah he did that, he had been drunk. That had been strange. Not many people got drunk now days. There's not really time for that.
Jimmy's cot had just been left un-made. Logan's copy of Philosopher's Stone was left by his pillow. If there was one thing Logan had been able to save from his burning home, it had been his Harry Potter books. Jimmy had promised him he'd read them. He never got past the first book. He'd said he had no time, they were in a rebellion. Logan had just laughed at him.
The night that Jimmy had told him he liked him, that was...amazing. Jimmy had run towards him and they'd started talking, then he had just blurted out. "I like you." Jimmy had stared into his, what seemed like, soul for a long time before Logan had smiled and said he liked him too. After that they'd started dating, Jimmy was sweet but he never really knew what to say. Not to Logan, but Logan would just laugh at him and say something totally different. That's how their relationship worked.
Then Jimmy had told him he loved him. Logan, to admit, had been a little freaked out but he loved Jimmy. That had been before he went on patrol to hunt Skitters, with Ben. Ben. Ben had killed Jimmy. He had hunted skitters with him and Jimmy was dead because of it. He had never told him he loved him back. Now it was too late. Jimmy was dead.
Logan found himself reaching for under his pillow. His hand shot from out of it and he clutched it as if it were hurt. "No." He told himself. "You are not doing that, there's people who need you." But he needed Jimmy. "The kids need you. Imagine if someone found you, Logan, dead with scars all over you. Imagine if it was one of the kids." He was horrified. "It'll get better; Logan, there's no need for this." He cradled his hand and rocked slightly on his bed.
"Hi." He jumped at the voice and twirled around.
"Hi Sophie." His voice cracked and he realised he was shaking.
"I just came to see how you are."
"I'm fine." He said it too fast and she obviously wasn't convinced.
"You know, we'll all miss him. Jimmy was a good fighter and he was nice."
"You liked him."
"For a while. And then, I found out you were both dating and I was happy for you."
"I loved him." Logan didn't know what to say.
"And he loved you too. I'm always here if you want to talk." Logan nodded and she stood up. "I'll see you later." She smiled at him sympathetically and left.
Logan found himself clutching his gun. "No." He told himself and threw it away. "NO!" He shouted. He started rocking again. "You can't do this to yourself. It'll get better. You need help Logan." He stood up and wandered to see Sophie. She sat on her cot, crying. "I need to talk to you." He told her.
"What about?"
"Jimmy."
"Logan, I didn't really know him..."
"I can't live without him."
"Logan, you need to. For the kids." Sophie was actually really pretty. "For Me."
"What do you mean?"
"When you think you've got no one left? Just remember I'm there for you. I'll be your sunshine."
"Sophie, that's not...I need help. I need to get away from here."
"Why?"
"Everything reminds me of him." Logan was crying.
"Logan, it's okay...I'm here for you..."
"I know."
"You don't need to leave."
"I know."
"Then why do you want to?"
"I don't know."
"I understand, everything's pressuring you, Logan it's okay...I'm here you can tell me anything."
"I don't want to live anymore." Sophie's eyes were wide as saucers.
"You mean you want to..."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"I just don't want to do this anymore, Sophia." She cringed at the 'a'. Sophie was never called Sophia, which was her real name; it was just something that never really happened. "I really don't."
"I can help you."
"No."
"Yes, I can. We're in this together Logan." She took his hand and stared into his eyes. "Together." She repeated.
Hai!
So this is the last chapter, I'VE BEEN CRYING WHILST TYPING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA JUST HOW HARD THAT IS?, I hope this had explained a little and I hate myself for not just putting this before!
Anyways, thanks for the reviews and everything, the Sequel The Little Scout: Sweet Justice is on it's way. I promise
I'll hopefully hear from all you awesome people soon!
Abs-walkers-12:D