The Uncanny XSE

Chapter 20: Take Me Out To The Rugby Game

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel.

The Xavier Institute-

It was a very special day at the home of the X-Men. It was the day of the monthly poker match that the mutant heroes had with the fantastic Four and the Avengers. However, this time would be different. The X-Men were fed up of the losing spree that they had gotten in the poker games, so Deadpool had come up with the idea of holding a rugby game against the Avengers. It was almost like the X-Men had the upper hand, what with all the British members that they had. Okay, Deadpool was technically Canadian, but he was married to Betsy Braddock, who was English.

The Merc-With-A-Mouth was getting ready with the rest of the guys.

'Are ye sure that it's such a wise tae get the ladies involved in this?' Sean Cassidy, the Irish mutant known as Banshee, asked in concern as he slipped a gum shield in his mouth.

'Do you really want to say no to people like Moira or Rahne?' Jono Starsmore, aka Chamber, responded with a snicker. 'They won't be pleased when they find out that you don't have faith in them.'

'Whoa, I'm no' saying that…' Sean shook his head. 'I know Moira and Rahne. It's just… Rugby isnae really an mixed-sex sport, is it?'

'You should know much better than that, mein freund.' Kurt Wagner told him. 'You have not seen Moira in a fight in a long time.'

'Ooh, I've heard about that.' Wade grimaced. 'And I've done some nasty things, but geez! Although, let's not forget about the missus.'

'Yes, Wade, Betsy is all kinds of badass too.' Jono rolled his eyes. 'As are all of the women.'

'Is that a slight sarcastic tone I hear, Mister Starsmore?' Sean teased.

'Hey, let's not get in a fight over this!' Wade leapt in to stop a fight before it even started. 'Save all your energy for the game.'

The playing field-

A crowd of Avengers, X-Men, and various students had gathered on the playing field at the back of the mansion. The Avengers' team were waiting patiently for their opponents to appear. The World's Mightiest Heroes had decided to play the game in their civilian clothing. It wouldn't have been a fair game if Tony Stark had been wearing his Iron Man armour. That was why Thor was sitting the game out. The Odinson's god-borne strength would also have given then Avengers an unfair advantage too. The same went for Ms Marvel's Kree-given powers.

The X-Men had also substituted some of their players. Taking advantage of the unstoppable Juggernaut would have been unsportsmanlike, as would using Northstar and Aurora's super-speed.

'I still don't think this will be a fair game.' Steve Rogers frowned thoughtfully. 'I doesn't feel right playing such an aggressive game with wo…'

'You had better choose your next words carefully, Steve.' Janet Van Dyne pointed an accusatory finger at the Star-Spangled Sentinel of Liberty. 'Or the X-Men won't be the only ones that you have to worry about.'

'Jan's right, Steve.' Wanda chipped in. 'Just because we're women, it doesn't mean that we're weaker than you.'

'Open mouth, insert foot.' Peter Parker smirked.

'Squee-chrk-chkt.' Tippy-Toe squeaked angrily.

'Yeah, that's right, Tippy-Toe!' Doreen Green nodded in agreement. 'Cap canbe sexist sometimes.'

'Don't be mad, ladies! Cap's just going senile!' Kid Razor heckled with a laugh from the stands. No one invited Razor to the game, but in typical Razor style, he showed up anyway. 'The Kid of Rock hopes Cap don't get hurt during this. Old guys are so prone to injury.' Cap rolled his eyes.

'Shut up, Razor!' Jan snapped at the young rocker.

'You've really dug yourself into a hole this time, Cap.' Tony Stark whispered in the wartime hero's ear. 'I sure hope that the X-Men get out here soon, or you'll have a riot on your hands.'

Thankfully for Captain America, it didn't take the X-Men's team very long to make their way out of the locker rooms. The team of seven mutants joined the seven Avengers, along with Hank McCoy, who was acting as referee. The mutant also known as Beast had also been a member of the Avengers for a while. As a result, he was the ideal person to keep to the rules in the most impartial way possible.

'Now, I believe the Avengers have already been briefed on the rules of the game?' Hank asked Steve's team.

'I played a little bit during the war.' Steve answered with a nod. 'I should be able to remember how it's played.'

'You'd better hope that your memory doesn't fail you today, old man!' Wade retorted. 'Cuz you're gonna get your butt kicked!'

'You won't be saying that once we're the ones holding our hands up high in victory.' Hank Pym shot back.

'Bring it, Yellowjacket!' Rahne challenged the scientist. 'Or Goliath, or whatever yuir callin' yuirself these days.'

'Yay, mummy!' The Sinclair Triplets all cheered as one, holding up a sign with 'Go Mum' writte on it.

'She's got you there, buddy.' Peter snickered.

'Can we please get this game started?' Kurt sighed. 'We are supposed to be out here playing rugby, not arguing like squabbling teenagers.'

'Very well, Kurt.' Hank nodded. 'Now, if everybody will take their places, then I shall start the game.'

Both teams as they were told and adopted the scrum position of two opposing lines of players huddled together. Hank tossed the ball into the huddle and blew the whistle. Then the game began!

There were sounds of feet scrabbling for the ball and people cursing when their feet were 'accidentally' stepped on. After a brief struggle, the Avengers gained possession of the ball. Steve was the one that picked the ball up and ran with it towards the other side of the pitch. Unfortunately for him, Kurt soon caught up with him and tackled him to the ground. The fuzzy elf picked up the ball and ran with it towards the other side of the pitch. Unfortunately for him, Wanda was ready. The hex-wielding mutant tackled him, sending them both tumbling down to the ground. The pair of mutants both fell in an awkward lump. Kurt had his face nestled on Wanda's chest.

'Uh… Sorry.' The fuzzy elf blushed as he quickly got back up to his feet and brushed himself off. He then offered Wanda his hand to help her up.

'It was my fault.' Wanda apologised. 'I suppose I was over-zealous in my tackle.'

'Such awkwardness is one good reason why there isn't such a thing as mixed rugby.' Kurt chuckled nervously.

The pair's daydreaming was cut short as Betsy yelled from the other side of the pitch.

'Kurt! What the bloody hell do you think you're doing? We conceded a try thanks to you!'

'Sorry.' Wanda apologised once more before everybody went back to the centre of the field to start over.

A little while later-

After two halves lasting for ten minutes and one minute for halftime, the X-Men eventually emerged victorious. The mutant heroes had barely managed to squeak in their last try. The game had all but finished when Betsy made a dash towards the end of the pitch. The Avengers were unprepared for the British woman's sudden run as the Earth's Mightiest Heroes were sure that they had won the game. There was nobody to stop Betsy from scoring a final five points for her team, making them the winners.

Both teams had changed into clean clothes and were having a victory party. Well, the X-Men were the ones holding the victory party, the Avengers were just invited to join. The X-Men were anything but unsportsmanlike.

'That was one heck of a great game you guys put on.' Tony Stark grinned as he patted Betsy on the back in celebration. 'We have all but won the game when you came streaking down the pitch like a speedster with a firework stuck up his butt.'

'Thanks for the lovely mental image, Tony.' Jan grimaced as she joined in with the collective back-patting. 'But seriously, you guys played well out there.'

'So did you, Jan.' Betsy told the part-time fashion designer. 'For people who don't really know how to play rugby, you did great.'

'We did well enough to almost beat you, remember?' Hank Pym reminded her. 'It's a pity about poor Doreen, though.'

'Aye, the poor lass still cannae get that mud out of her tail.' Rahne shook her head in pity. 'And talking about tails, where's Kurt gotten to?'

'I think I saw Wanda take him away to have his tail seen to.' Peter responded. 'I never new that there were so many swearwords in the German language.'

Sure enough, Kurt and Wanda were indeed in the infirmary. Kurt's tail had been trampled during another scrum.

'I can't say how sorry I am, Kurt.' Wanda apologised as she carefully bandaged the Fuzzy Elf's injured tail.

'Wanda, please…' Kurt grimaced slightly as he felt a twinge of pain shoot through his tail. 'Stop apologising. It wasn't your fault.'

'I was the one that stepped on your tail.' Wanda reminded him. 'Now, sit still and let me finish bandaging it.'

'Are you always this bossy to the other Avengers?' Kurt teased.

'Only to the ones that deserve it.' Wanda retorted. The mutant hex-caster finished bandaging Kurt's tail. 'Does that feel better.'

'Oh, ja. Much better, thank you.' Kurt smiled in thanks. 'You really have a talent for healing, Wanda.'

'Which is quite ironic, really.' Wanda smiled. 'I wanted to be a florist when I was a child.'

'A florist?' Kurt covered his mouth with his hand to hide his laughter.

'It was a simple life growing up amongst gypsies.' Wanda told him, totally ignoring the fuzzy elf's laughter. 'Anyway, what did you want to be when you grow up?'

'An acrobat, obviously!' Kurt smiled at the memory. 'The Amazing Nightcrawler!'

'Do you miss the circus?' Wanda enquired.

'Sometimes.' Kurt sighed nostalgically. 'Although, it's a pity that the people watching my trapeze act only thought I was wearing a costume.'

The fuzzy elf smiled as he got an idea.

'Hey, here's a crazy idea: A travelling circus is coming to town soon, what do you say that you and Cap join August and I for a night out?'

'That sounds like a great idea!' Wanda grinned. 'Just let me ask Steve and I'll get back to you.'

'I haven't been to see the circus in such a long time.' Kurt smiled. 'I think we shall have such a great time.'

'I think we had better get back to the others.' Wanda told him. 'People might start to talk.'

TBC…

Next: The Amazing Nightcrawler And The Circus Of Doom

The Shocker's Masters of Evil interrupt Kurt and August's double date with Captain America and the Scarlet Witch. Fortunately, the heroes have Colossus, Shadowcat, and Marrow as backup.