Caitlin tapped her foot impatiently against the floor as she waited for her name to be called. Today was the day she was supposed to see the on campus counselor and she was absolutely terrified. Barry, who had offered to go with her, placed his hand against her knee and stilled her leg.
"Try to remember to breathe, sweetheart," he murmured soothingly as he rubbed his thumb across her knee in comforting strokes. She exhaled shakily and nodded her head.
"Caitlin Snow?" A voice called and Caitlin's head snapped up. She saw a man who was probably in his mid-thirties smiling kindly at her.
"I'm Drew, the counselor for the campus. You can come into my office now," he said and Barry squeezed her hand gently before they stood up.
Drew inclined his head towards Barry questioningly and Caitlin hesitated for a moment.
"H-he's going to sit in on the session with me, if that's alright," she murmured and Drew smiled encouragingly.
"That's fine, these sessions are meant to be about your comfort," he replied gently and the three of them filed into his office. Caitlin perched herself on one of the comfortable looking chairs, Barry taking the seat next to her. Drew sat down opposite them.
Caitlin shifted around the chair, trying to find a position that made her feel relaxed before tucking a loose strand of hair nervously behind her ear. She couldn't make eye contact with Drew and felt her heart hammering against her ribcage. Barry interlocked their fingers together and held her hand gently.
"So, what brings you in today, Caitlin?" Drew asked and Caitlin stilled, unsure of how to explain why she was being forced to talk to someone. Drew picked up on her discomfort immediately and smiled soothingly.
"Why don't we start with how your classes are treating you?" Drew tried a different approach and Caitlin nodded her head. Classes, she could talk about classes.
"T-they're okay," she stuttered out and Barry squeezed her hand.
"Are you happy with your grades?" Drew prompted and Caitlin nodded her head.
"Yes, very," she said quietly and she was. While other things in her life may not be in her control, her grades and food were the two things she had control over.
"It says here in your file that you fainted in your class that Dr. Wells teaches?" Drew asked and Caitlin bit her lip.
"I just got exhausted," she said and Barry tutted. She looked at him before sighing.
"I also may not have had any food for a while on that day," she confessed and Drew kept his face impassive.
"Is that something that happens a lot?" Drew asked and Caitlin sighed.
"More often, lately," she admitted with a shrug, trying to act like it wasn't a big deal.
Drew nodded his head as he looked at her thoughtfully.
"What was your favorite thing to eat as a kid?" Drew replied and she thought about it.
"My dad's chocolate chip pancakes," she said, unsure of where this conversation was going.
"Do you think that if your dad made them for you now you could eat them?" Drew asked and Caitlin felt her jaw drop at the question.
"Absolutely not," she vehemently protested and Drew seemed satisfied about something.
"Are you close to your mother?" Drew asked abruptly and Caitlin wondered why the conversation had taken this turn.
"Not…not as close as I am to my dad," Caitlin hedged and Drew hummed thoughtfully.
"Has your mother ever made you feel less than good about yourself?" Drew asked softly and Caitlin blinked back the moisture in her eyes.
"I-I can't talk about that," she said in a wavering voice and Barry rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.
"Why not?" Drew asked gently and Caitlin felt the first tear escape and accepted the tissue Drew handed her.
"I just can't," she emphasized and Drew nodded his head.
"We'll get back to that topic," he murmured and Caitlin sighed gratefully.
"Thank you," she breathed out.
"Do you have a scale, Caitlin?" Drew asked and she felt Barry stop rubbing her knuckles as he looked at her; she wished he wouldn't.
"Do you?" Barry asked softly and Caitlin knew better than to lie. Hanging her head, she sighed.
"Yes," she whispered.
"And how often do you get on it?" Drew asked quietly and Caitlin felt knots swirl around in her belly.
"Uh….I….a few times a week," she mumbled. She noticed her hands shaking right around the time that Drew did and he frowned.
"What's got you so nervous, Caitlin?" Drew inquired and Caitlin inhaled shakily.
"I don't like talking to people about myself," she muttered and Drew studied her for a long moment.
"How long have you had anxiety?" Drew asked and Caitlin sighed.
"Too long," she mumbled and Drew nodded his head.
"How would you feel about getting on a low dose medication for that? Something that you take as needed, not every day?" Drew replied and Caitlin bit her lip anxiously.
"I don't know…" she trailed off as Barry watched her.
She didn't want to have to turn to medication but maybe it could help her.
"If I didn't like it could I get off it?" Caitlin asked and Drew nodded his head.
"Certainly. There is no law saying you have to stay on it past your choosing. It's completely up to you if you want to be on or off it," Drew replied and Caitlin sighed.
"Maybe….a low dose wouldn't hurt," she muttered and watched as Drew reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a pad that he scribbled something onto.
"This is a prescription that you can turn into the receptionist at the front office. She'll know what to do with it. Just take it when you feel like you need to. That can be once a day, once every few days, or even once every few weeks," Drew assured as he handed the slip to Caitlin and she held it in her fist. She glanced at Barry who was smiling gently at her and she nodded her head.
"Thank you," she murmured. Drew looked at her for a long moment before glancing at his watch.
"Our time is just about up but I want you to strongly consider making another appointment," Drew advised her and Caitlin thought it over before nodding her head.
"Alright," she replied softly and Drew smiled encouragingly at her.
"Until next week, Caitlin," he said and Caitlin smiled as best she could.
Until next week.
Author's note: I wanted the first session to center around her anxiety and not the ED yet.