A/N: Contains M rated/ smut scene**

OoO (5 months later) OoO

The tour has been going on for 6 months now and the band had finished their United States tour yesterday and now we're currently driving back to LA. 3 months ago we had flown to Alaska, Hawaii and did a small South American tour then flying over to the Bahamas before meeting our tour buses in Florida to finish off the tour in Miami.

Now the band will take a 2 week break before their European part of their world tour and the rest of South America. For me on the other hand, I'm going back home once we get back to LA. There hasn't been any more sign or threat from the other gangs and even though we're still on edge we decided the band didn't need protection anymore. Quinn Randall seems to have sorted things out with Mikhail Sokolov the number one boss of all Russian gangs established on American soil. Which I'm perfectly fine with seeing as how Mikhail is an extremely powerful man and there's no way the guys and I could take him down on our own.

Two days ago I had a two hour conversation with Sean to replace me completely and if he was still worried about the protection of the band to hire the guys for a bodyguards since everyone gets along great with R5. Rocky and Derek have become really good friends. Sean argued with me for an hour before he finally agreed and took the photographer recommendations I had compiled over the last month. The band has no idea I'm leaving and they won't until I'm already back home.

We're about an hour away from LA and I'm currently booking a flight along with a FedEx pickup. I'll be meeting with Sean tomorrow to drop off all the photos and get my paycheck. Declan is meeting me at my apartment to help pack before I fly to Dublin in three days. We've become great friends again over the past few months, but that's all we'll be at least for now.

Finally the buses pulled back into Cali Beats and we all filed out and loaded our luggage into our respective vehicles. I said goodbye to Milo and the guys at their truck before I returned back to my own car. I glanced across the parking lot at the band's suburban to see a silver car had pulled up and a girl was talking to Riker. 'Must be Nicole.' I sighed and got into my Charger.

I started the engine and text Declan, letting him know we had made it back and I'd be there shortly while I waited for the car to cool off from sitting in the California sun. He replied back saying he would be waiting for me and I couldn't help but smile at the thought of having someone waiting for me. I placed my phone in the cup holder and buckled my belt, but before I could drive off, my passanger door opened and in stepped Rocky.

"Umm can I help you," I asked startled by his action.

"Did you ever watch that video?"

"What?"

"The video I sent back in Phoenix. Did you watch it?.. I'm assuming since that skank Nicole is still around you didn't or maybe you are as heartless as you pretend to be," Rocky replied quite coldly.

*sigh* "No I tried but couldn't bring myself to."

"Watch it now."

"Rocky no."

"Now or I'm not fucking leaving."

Too tired to argue I grabbed my phone and scrolled to the video hitting play. The screen lit up with Riker laying in his bunk talking to Rocky in his. Riker obviously didn't have a clue Rocky was recording him. He had a dreamy lost in love look tattooed on his face.

"Dude what is that look for," Rocky asked in the video.

"Man this is going to sound stupid but I think I'm in love with Josie."

"But aren't you two fighting?"

"I guess maybe...well not really. I mean I want her to just admit she likes me and I could be the final guy for her but she won't. She keeps that tough gal persona all the time. I just have to find a way to get her to cave."

"And how will you do that," asked Ross hanging over the edge from his bunk.

"I'm going to make her jealous," Riker said with a confident grin.

I rolled my eyes and continued watching.

"Rike that's not going to work," said Rocky.

"Why not?"

"Because you of all people should know she doesn't let petty things like that affect her especially since she's more worried about these Russians. Why are you so caught up on her anyways?"

*sigh* "Rocky, I don't know man, she's just so genuine and not like some of the Cali girls back home ya know? It's like she reminds me of home. She infuriates to no end when I try to learn about her but seeing her passion when she takes photos makes me melt. Or the gleam in her eye when she says a smartass remark makes me crazy."

"You like her a lot huh?"

"No I flat out love her. I want nothing more than to call her mine."

"Gah man you sound whipped." "Maybe but I don't care one bit."

"What about her other expertise?"

"Yeah that part is hard to get use to, but it doesn't really scare me, well except for the fact that she's been hurt so much before and she acts fearless when it comes to dying."

"So you're going to date a fan to make her jealous?"

"Well I'm going to say I am but I want her and only her. I sent a text awhile ago so maybe she'll actually answer."

"I still think it's a bad idea," Rocky said as Riker's phone rang. Rocky's phone showed Riker's face fall and disappointment clouded over him as he stared at his phone.

"What's wrong Rike?"

"You were right. It didn't work... she told me to go for it things went too far with us anyways and it will professional between us from now on. Fuck! Why do I keep screwing up with her?"

"Dude I don't know maybe it's because you treat her like she's younger and not as mature as you."

"I'll find out the reason as soon as we get to the stadium. I love her and I need her to admit she has feelings for me."

And the video ended. I stared blankly at my phone.

"He says your name in his sleep all the time, just about every time he sleeps. Hell the whole reason Nicole showed up here is because he keeps calling her Josie."

I snapped my head up and gaped at Rocky.

"Think I'm lying? Look for yourself."

I looked past Rocky and sure enough Nicole was yelling at Riker flinging her arms. A part of me became very amused at the sight.

I quickly dismissed the feeling and looked back at Rocky, "It never would've worked out between us. I wish everyone would realize that. I'm toxic I don't know how to be open and affectionate. I'm surprised I was ever in a relationship with anyone let alone been engag-" I cut myself off and gaped at Rocky in horror.

"Y-you have been engaged?! Was it that Logan guy?"

*sigh* "No someone else. It was three years ago but he left."

"What do you mean left?"

"Look Rocky it's a long complicated story. You sure you even care to hear?"

"Josie you're the woman my brother is in love with. Yes I care and this might help me talk to Riker about you, whether its to get him to continue his pursuit or get over you."

"Fine. I was engaged to this guy, Declan, he was a member of the Mafia like me and ended up getting cross with another gang and had a hit on him. He faked his death and didn't tell me. I assumed he was dead until he confronted me in Seattle about the other Russian gang attacks. Between losing him and my sister I just quit wanting anyone or anything, not to mention my many demons."

"Josie we all have demons."

"The little you know about me doesn't even begin to scratch the surface Rocky. I'm destined to be on my own. Which is evident considering after the ambush on my sister and I, I can no longer have children. What man would want to be with me knowing that? I'm not meant for the whole white picket fence happy home ending. So tell Riker to get over me. My past and demons will never change or go away. I sit on a throne of bodies at least a mile high. Riker deserves better than that. Hell anyone deserves better than that."

Rocky sat silent. 'Gah my life sounds worse than I thought.' I nervously cleared my throat breaking Rocky from his thoughts.

"Josie you have been through hell."

"Ha yeah, you could say that."

"But you know even with your complicated past Riker would still love you."

I gazed at him in disbelief, "H-he would? Why?"

"Because I still care about you... even more so now."

I nodded at him numbly before he exited the car. I ended up in my apartment parking lot before I even realized I had left.

OoO OoO OoO

At my door I fumble with my keys in the lock. I'm failing to compose myself after my daze. I yelp in surprise as my apartment door flung open revealing Declan dressed in a dark gray v neck, light blue ripped jeans and white Swiss shoes. His hair was a bit on the long side and a trimmed beard graced his face. He stood there with a amused smile and gray eyes sparkling with laughter.

"Sorry love didn't mean to scare you. Where have you been?"

I didn't answer. Irrational thinking consuming me I rushed towards him crashing my lips to his in a heated and needy kiss.

Declan was pleasantly surprised as he lifted me around his waist with one hand as he slammed and locked the door with the other.

I feverishly grabbed at the hem of his shirt bunching it up his torso hungrily attacking his lips as lust consumes me. Declan gripped my ass kissing me deeply moaning slightly as he makes his way to my bed.

He walked until his knees hit the edge of the bed. He loosened his grip as I slid down to the inviting comforter. Both breathing heavy skin burning from each others's touch we gaze at each hungry for more. A slight smile graces my lips and Declan eagerly returned it.

"You're so gorgeous," he breaths in a husky tone making me shiver.

We both slip our shirts off and I automatically went to pop the button on his denim jeans. He grins stepping back to remove them kicking off his shoes. I stood and eagerly followed suit. Shortly we stood in front of each other in our underwear. Our eyes roamed over each other's bodies. I stole a quick glance at his eyes, lust with a glint of something that looked like... guilt?

"What's wrong," I rasped out.

"You're scars baby," he stated simply.

"You have scars too love," I smiled trying to lighten the mood.

He smiled as he kissed me again trailing his hands from my neck to my bra clasp. My hands tracing his tantalizing v line to the band of his bright green boxer briefs. I gripped the band while Declan expertly flicked his wrist undoing my bra. I pulled down the green garment letting my bra fall with it.

Declan picked me up and placed me on the bed. He kissed my lips gently before trailing kisses down my jaw to my sensitive collarbone, dusting my skin with sexual desire as he went. Declan bit firmly on the spot where my collarbone met my neck, causing me to moan loudly and thrust my hips into him desperate for friction.

**Declan groaned at the connection of our hips and began kissing down my body until he reached my aching breasts. I gasped in pleasure when he sucked my nipple into his soft lips teasing it with his tongue while he kneaded the other one in his strong calloused hands. The roughness of his skin on my smooth skin sent vibrations of ecstasy through my body. I intertwined my fingers in his dull blonde hair holding him close to me not wanting to lose his touch. Declan trailed kisses across my chest to the other breast baring the same attention as the other one received. With each lick my body ached for more. Declan continued trailing wet kisses down my stomach, he hooked his fingers in the waistband of my thong and in one fluid motion my thong was flung across the room. Declan continued his exploration to my aching core. He licked the opening of my pussy dipping his tongue deep inside causing me to moan and raise my hips. Declan gripped my hips pulling me closer to his mouth as he swirled his tongue inside me making my body numb with pleasure.

"P-please Declan... I want you inside me," I begged.

Declan pulled away and looked at me while rubbing the inside of my thighs lightly tracing the outside of my throbbing core brushing my clit periodically.

"Josalynn I want that too but its been 3 years. Please let me make love to you like I've craved every day since I left."

Shocked by his confession, I nodded at him and he smiled before returning to his previous task this time sucking on my clit while pushing his long strong fingers into my tight wet slit. An animalistic growl ripped through my throat as he added another finger and picked up his pace pushing deeper. I was rapidly reaching my climax tugging on his hair moaning uncontrollably. "Mmm D-Declan I'm so close...right there don't stop." He sucked harder on my clit flicking it with his tongue. That's all I needed to scream as my orgasm washed over me.

Once over my high I looked at Declan who was staring at me with dark eyes licking his fingers. I pulled him into a heated kiss tasting my arousal on his breath, turning me on more while our tongues danced against each other. I reached down and stroked his hard member squeezing slightly.

Declan broke the kiss groaning as his head fell forward. I gently pushed him onto his back before continuing. I licked his head dipping my tongue into his slit tasting the salty sweet precum that had pooled. Declan's growl of pleasure urged me on as I sucked on his head slipping more and more of his velvety steel into my mouth. I traced his abs with my fingers while I quickly bobbed my head up and down on his member. Declan buried his fingers in my hair pulling slightly making my growl around him sending vibrations through him; causing his breathing to deepen. I felt twitching deep in my throat telling me he was close to cuming. I pursed my lips more and hummed again.

"Fuuuuck," Declan groaned involuntarily thrusting his hips upwards making me take all of him. I reached down and gently squeezed his balls causing him to explode in my throat.

I swallowed his seed quickly as it expelled from his softening length. I released him with a slight "pop" and was instantly pulled into a fierce kiss straddling Declan. Aching for friction I grind my hips into him making him hard once again. Declan gripped my thighs lifting me up before slamming me down on his hard cock causing me to scream as he growled. I quickly rocked my hips while bouncing up and down. Declan gripped my ass firmly as he thrusts his hips into me harder each time. So much pleasure is coursing through my veins as I cry out his name closing my eyes and my head falling backwards.

"Damn baby you're so tight. I've missed your tight wet pussy wrapped around me," Declan grunted out making me shiver.

"Mmm harder," I commanded.

And in a blink of an eye I was on my hands and knees Declan slamming into me at a relentless pace. I rolled my hips back into him causing him to thrust deeper hitting my g-spot. I cried out in pleasure. Declan gathered up my hair and pulled as he slammed into me as fast as he could. He reached around and fiercely rubbed my swollen clit causing me to cum violently. My walls clamped down on his cock making him growl out my name and one more thrust I felt him release inside me.**

We collapsed on the bed. Declan pulled me to him wrapping me up in his arms while we worked to catch our breaths.

"That...was...incredible," Declan breathed out planting butterfly kisses on my shoulder.

"Yeah...it's amazing...what three...years can do," I laughed while Declan growled in agreement.

"What brought that on? You seemed to just want to be friends," Declan asked.

I rolled over to face him. Those piercing gray eyes staring at me quizzically.

*sigh* "I don't know, just seeing you standing in my doorway...something clicked and I realized I missed you and I couldn't contain myself."

He smiled at me before kissing my forehead.

"Well I understand if that was just a spur of the moment type of thing but I want to be honest with you," he says in a serious tone as he sat us up.

He stared at me intently.

"Josalynn I still care about you so much. I would do anything to make up the last three years to you, even if that means stepping aside for another guy. Just know that as much as I want to be your 'bed buddy' I have still have deep feelings for you and it will destroy me. Tell me what this was and if there is a chance it will be something more. I don't want to rush you but I don't want to lose you again."

I sat there stunned. 'What did this mean? Was it real or a distraction from Riker?'

"I-I...I don't know. I'm so sorry." I got up and went straight to take a shower. Declan sat on the bed stunned.

When I got out of the shower I still didn't have an answer for Declan and I felt horrible. I dressed in yoga pants and a sports bra, threw my hair into a messy bun and began folding my clothes to pack. I walked out to the living room to find Declan sitting on the couch. He glanced at me and gave me a sad smile that pained me.I love him, but I don't think I'm in love with him.

"Are you mad at me?"

"What? No Josalynn I'm not, not at all. I'm just afraid I screwed up with you."

"Declan it's my fault. I've been on a whirlwind of drama and emotions and I was looking for an escape. Unfortunately you were the outlet I chose."

"I understand."

"I don't want to say it was nothing but I don't want to lead you on. I just want to get away from here and be on my own and clear my head."

"Totally understandable love. Well come on let's get dressed and go out to dinner."

"Ok."

We smiled at each other before goin to get ready for a night out.

A half hour later we were in Declan's '66 silver blue convertible Mustang heading for a fun night on the town. Declan refused to tell me where we were going and soon as we stopped I began to get nervous. In front of us was a red neon sign that said 'Redwood'. 'Ah shit!' Getting out of the car I quickly and frantically searched the parking lot for any familiar vehicles.

"Josalynn? You ok?"

"Huh? Oh yeah...sorry it's just this is R5's usual spot. Not really wanting to run into them since they don't know I'm leaving."

"Oh well we can go find somewhere else."

"No it's fine c'mon."

We walk in and sit at a booth towards the back. So far no sign of the band, but I haven't seen everyone. We ate had a few drinks and talked for about an hour when Declan decided we needed to dance. I refused for a good ten minutes before I finally caved.

Declan drug me into the middle of the packed orgy type dance floor. I faced him draping my arms around his neck as he hooked his thumbs in the belt loops of my jeans, resting his hands on my hips. We stayed an innocent distance apart for a few songs before Declan got a little more daring. He inserted his hands into my back pockets squeezing my ass, causing me to push flush against his body. I tangled my hands in his hair while grinding against him. I grabbed his hands and turned around pressing my back to his front and Declan hooked his thumbs into my front pockets, keeping me pressed firmly against him. I heard Declan groan in my ear when I grounded my ass hard into him.

"Mm Josalynn. You're so beautiful and...sexy."

I smirked holding his head close to me, revelling in the feeling of his hot breath on my skin. We were momentarily lost in ourselves and the beat of the music until Tristan and I were suddenly ripped apart.

I stumbled forward into a sweaty stranger. I quickly apologized and turned back towards Declan to see an irate Riker yelling at him, pushing him up against a wall. Knowing Declan won't contain self-control for long I hurried over to break up the oncoming brawl.

"Who the fuck do you think you are having your hands all over Josie like that?!"

"Mate you need to get your bloody hands off me before you get hurt."

"I'm not fucking scared of you asshole. You need to stay away from my Josie."

'What?!' "Riker Get off him now," I snapped pushing my way in between them while facing Riker.

"Josie who the fuck is this guy and why are you protecting him?"

"Riker trust me I'm protecting you not him. Now walk away and quit causing a scene. Go sober up, find YOUR Nicole."

Riker looked at me hurt and glared back at Declan, "Fucking tool."

Declan's patience was rapidly crumbling and I had to push him back against the wall while Riker stormed away.

"Who the fuck was that pretty boy?"

*sigh* "That's Riker. He's the bassist for the band I've been working for."

"And why is he being a possessive ass? Did you two date on tour?"

"Not exactly date..."

"But you slept together," Tristan finished slightly angered.

"Yeah. *sigh* Look Declan I didn't know he would take it so serious and expect us to be together. Us sleeping together was basically like makeup sex after being on the outs for over a month. He came to my room to apologize and things got heated and well I'm sure you can figure out the rest."

"You sure know how to get a mate all twisted don't you?"

"I'm sorry Declan," I said looking down in guilt.

"Hey," he said lifting my head to look at him, "don't stress over it. C'mon let's call it a night before your friend's head explodes."

Declan nodded over in Riker's direction and chuckled a bit. I turned to follow his gaze and sure enough Riker was glaring daggers at us.

"Yeah c'mon."

We closed out our tab and were headed to the door when Riker grabbed my wrist. Declan instantly tensed up and stepped towards Riker. I pressed my hand to Declan's chest and told him to wait outside. I turned back to Riker and ripped my wrist from his death grip.

"Who is that guy Josie?"

"Riker that really is none of your business."

"Are y'all together?"

"Again none of your business. Why do you even care? You have Nicole, not mention you haven't talked to me in 5 fucking months even after we apologized back in Colorado. You have no right to butt in to anything that involves me."

"Josie it's my business."

"How is it, huh? Please Riker enlighten me on how my personal life is any fucking concern of yours."

"Because...because it is ok."

I scoffed at him, "Whatever."

I turned to walk away but Riker grabbed me again.

"Josie please tell me who he is."

"Tell me why it matters to you."

*sigh* "I can't."

"Yeah that's what I thought. Bye Riker."

I slipped out of his grasp and left. Declan and I drove back to my place in a tense silence.

We readied for bed in silence and just as I was about to fall asleep, Declan's voice echoed through the room.

"Do you love him?"

I rolled over to face him, "what?"

"Do you love that Riker guy? Is that why you won't go further with me?"

"Declan no. Riker has nothing to do with us."

"Then what is the deal with him?"

*sigh* "He's a great guy but it's all childish drama and I'm just not wanting to deal with that."

"Well he's in love with you."

"Ha yeah right he's in lust with me. Riker has no idea what love is."

"If you say so."

"I know so. Now goodnight I have to be at Cali Beats in the morning."