Happiness. Energy. Cheerfulness. Joy. Laughter. Optimism. Kindness. Thoughtfulness.

Hatred.

Never before had she felt like this. Never before had her feelings been so all-consuming. Never before had she been faced with darkness so bleak that finding a light seemed impossible. She was supposed to be the one who could see the good in everything. She was supposed to be happy even when others were struggling. It was the role she had imposed on herself.

And just like that, like turning on a switch, it was gone.

Ty Lee had heard the word depression before, of course. The doctors had used it time and time again in all the letters they wrote her in response to her endless inquiries about Azula's condition. The princess had been depressed, and now she was dead, and now Ty Lee was depressed.

(Did that mean she'd soon be dead?)

She had never understood what it could be like to go through life without the will to live, because everything gave Ty the will to live. She could help people, and she could fulfill her dreams, and even just the simple beauty of the sky had seemed reason enough to get up each morning. It was part of why Azula's condition had caused her such anxiety—she couldn't understand.

Now, though…

Six months since the funeral. Six stupid months, stuck on an island with people who still were wary of trusting her. And Ty Lee found that she hated all of it, from her wooden house to the dark green uniform to her fellow Kyoshi Warriors. It was all pointless. Why did the island even need a gang of warriors? The war was over. They just did their drills and trained, day after day, for threats that probably wouldn't ever come.

(Six months without Azula.)

Ty Lee hated them. She had accepted the girls as her family, left her home for them, longed to be a part of something that could utilize her talents for good. But they didn't accept her. They still cut conversations off abruptly when she came around corners. They'd still glance at her and whisper when she passed them on the roads.

She'd only gone to train with them a handful of times since her return. After that she hadn't been able to stomach the thought. They looked at her as if she was a time bomb. And she didn't have to be as good of a reader of people as Azula to guess what they were thinking.

Whose side is she really on?

Ty Lee spent endless, listless hours in bed, trying not to think, which was, of course, a futile attempt. She didn't know what to do with these emotions. Even after the Boiling Rock, even when she and Mai had been locked up, she hadn't felt like this. Then she'd been physically caged, but now she felt like her mind had been shut away. The happiness was surely somewhere still inside her head, but she couldn't find it, for the first time in her life.

(Surely Azula was still out there, and this was just a dream…)

She reached a point where leaving the house became useless. Now people stared even more because of her disheveled appearance, and she didn't have the strength to see them look at her like that. She already didn't belong. She knew that. Did they have to rub it in?

Suki came by at least twice a week, hovering by the door and windows. Ty Lee never answered her knocks. She knew Suki would be more sympathetic than the others, and somehow that seemed more repugnant than stares and judgment.

Ty Lee slept, just slept. And sleeping became an addiction, because in her dreams all three of them were together again, and Azula was there, and Azula was smiling.

After she awoke from the first dream, she realized why she felt the way she did. How could she allow herself happiness when it had been denied Azula forever? How could she ever smile again when she knew Azula's lips were frozen?

The world was darker.

One morning she dragged herself out of bed and propped herself up to walk on her hands, but her arms lacked the strength to hold her up. She crashed down into a heap on the wooden floor and couldn't even be bothered to get back under the sheets.

It hadn't really hurt, but soon Ty Lee was sobbing anyway.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

(Azula was dead.)

I never even got to say goodbye…

(Azula was dead.)

I want to be happy again.

Azula was…

I hate you.