(A/N: This starts off as Leo/Karai, but switches back into Leo/Raph presently. I know some of you were worried that this would turn into a Leo/Karai fic. TRUST AND BELIEVE ME IT WILL NOT, it's still Leo/Raph. I was just indulging my first ever otp.

Smut in the next chapter, LEO/RAPH smut, so don't get discouraged.

Translations at the end.)

"Ohhhh, G-Godssss..."

Karai fisted one hand in her sweaty hair and the other in Leonardo's mask as he kneeled between her thighs, dragging his broad tongue roughly through her heated folds. One leg was pointed up to the ceiling and the other one was flung out, curled around his shoulder and trapped under his side, leggings bunched around one ankle from where they'd been ripped off.

She humped his face with involuntary motions while he worked her with his mouth, watching him with wide eyes and parted lips while he feasted on her. He grabbed the backs of her knees and caught her clit between his top lip and teeth, sucking with varying degrees of pressure until she squirmed, tracing designs into her swollen flesh.

"Aaohhh, un, Ot-tō-TOH!" The last part of the word turned into a breathless gasp as he slid a finger into her soaked cunt, opening her as wide as she could go, teasing and sliding his textured digit around her hard bud. She arched up, heat high in her cheeks, and he nibbled hard on her labia.

"Sono shimerimashita," Leonardo mumbled. He pushed two thick fingers into her with deliberate ease, sending a low throb of warmth rolling through her pelvis. He ground the heel of his hand against her and pumped her relentlessly with sharp flicks of his wrist, alternating the strokes of his fingers with his licks in turns, playing her like an instrument. He reached up to palm her breast, rolling her taut nipple and biting at the jut of her hipbone.

She writhed under the conflicting sensations of skin and teeth, clawing and breaking her nails on his hard shell. The shockwaves hit her, bringing her to a jerking climax as he soothed her through it, tapping her clit and kissing her abused mouth. He pulled his fingers out of her pulsing entrance and loomed over her for a second, chin gleaming with her juices, cock hard and heavy against her thigh.

Karai wrapped her legs around his middle and he allowed her to flip them. She shimmied down his smooth front until she reached his gaping slit, leaving a shing trail in her wake, and rolled his head back as she grabbed his erection, lining them up.

"Aahh, Aneeee..." he moaned. Karai gasped as she guided him in at the intrusion of the wide head inside her.

"Totemo ōkiku," she hissed, tongue between her teeth as she rocked up and back, lashes fluttering when she pushed down and he slid in. "Ah! un, yeah, Kami..." She braced herself on his chest and clenched her slick muscles around the hot cock nudging her depths, flexing and relaxing her thighs to bounce on him. She couldn't catch her breath. She felt full, so FULL and Gods, she did miss this, energy and electricity flowing ask the way out to her fingers and toes.

Leonardo groaned and propped himself up on his elbows to watch her fuck herself, wrapping a hand around her neck and meeting her downwards motions with hard jerks of his hips, biting down hard on her lip. Karai let out a strangled noise with every impact, pressure and heat hiking and building up inside and she wasn't sure if she was coming again or still coming from last time, but he twisted his hips and gripped her throat and-

"Mistress Karai?"

Karai wanted to scream in as Leonardo's thrusts slowed to a stop and her orgasm slipped away. She blinked the film of moisture from her eyes and glared at the door. He buried his face in her shoulder and leaned up to press them closer together, tangling their legs in a sitting position and sliding deeper, making her bite back a yell.

"WHAT?!"

"Your father the Lord Shredder requires the presence of you and your brother."

"I-" she swallowed her tongue when Leonardo pressed a hand to the small of her back and pushed firmly, rocking her back and forth. "Oh-"

"Mistress? Shall I tell him you are preoccupied?"

She didn't much give a damn what he told her father at that point, because her toes had started to curl. "I don't- yes, ah- go, just, yes, go..."

"Yes, Mistress. Anything else?"

"DOKO KA NI ITSUTE!"

She didn't hear his footsteps receding down the hall through her screech when Leonardo started fucking into her in earnest, bringing her to the edge in three hard thrusts and shoving her over in five.

They took ten minutes to clean up and make it down to the throne room. The Shredder was alone and waiting for them. To their shock, he was out of his armor and absent of his helmet.

He turned his scarred face towards them, eyes flinty and unreadable. "Close the door."

Karai saw Leonardo tense at that, but he did as he was asked.

"You two have become much... Closer, lately." Saki pointed out eventually, tapping his fingers on the armrest of his seat.

Karai glanced at Leonardo and saw that he had the same level of understanding that she did- absolutely none. "Yes, we've... Reconciled."

"Indeed..."

There was something dangerous in the air, like an ax hanging over their heads.

"Leonardo. I heard about your performance the day I left. Well done, my son."

"T-thank you father-"

"However, I wish to see it for myself."

"... What?"

The Shredder smiled, his twisted skin pulling grotesquely at the corners, and finally stood up, descending the steps slowly until he was right in front of them. "Yes. You two will spar with me, here and now."

Hot panic coiled around the base of Karai's spine. Neither of them were armed.

Her eyes darted to the side of the throne and saw the soldier from outside her door, watching with a smug grin on his face.

He knew. Shredder knew. And now they were about to be punished for it.

"Step forward, children."

By the end of it, Karai was on the floor, holding her ribs and trying to remember how to breathe correctly. Out of two puffy eyes, she watched the bloody heap that was Leonardo struggle to his feet and escape, leaving red hand and footprints behind.

The water pouring from the showerhead had gone cold thirty minutes ago, but Raphael didn't care. He was hunched down at the bottom of the stall, staring dead eyed at the inside of his arm as he worked his razor over his skin. The liquid running through his fingers was almost pure red. He'd gone to the shower to have his breakdown to hide the scent of blood, and it wasn't working.

Cut after cut after cut, and the guilt wasn't going away. His arm was swollen to almost twice it's normal size, but when he blinked he could still see the haunted look in Leonardo's eyes, and it made him want to puke. (again.)

You're a rapist. You're a fucking rapist.

He was supposed to be the good guy. The one that protected people FROM people that... That did that. He wasn't-

'Get off of me!'

He choked, gagged into the drain. He was used to hating himself, extremely used to it, but not like this. Never like this. He had no clue how he was supposed to fix this. Because wasn't that just his life? Fuck shit up epically, then try to fix it, and fuck it up even more?

He's gonna kill me the next time he sees me.

And he'd deserve it. Raph wanted nothing more than to blame anyone else for what happened -Casey, Leonardo- but the truth was that it had been him on top of the other turtle, forcing his legs open, jacking himself over him.

What was he supposed to do though? How was he supposed to make this... Not like it was?

'I knew you were a monster. I asked for it.'

"I just gotta explain," Raph shuddered. "I just gotta..."

If anyone would understand about the beast, about what it did to him, Leonardo would.

I gotta try.

His family's safety might depend on it.

Once the others went to bed, Raph snuck out and made his way across town again, to the same building where Leonardo had stolen his Sai. He sat down to wait, stomach in his heart, figuring the other male would find him like he usually did. He just hoped he could explain before he lost his head.

He was starting to doze off when he heard the light thump of an impact behind him, jolting him out of his depressed gloom.

He'd showed... So maybe he wasn't as screwed as he thought. But he blinked in confusion when all he saw was the shadowed rooftop.

"Leonardo?"

Labored breathing emanated from the utility overhang, and there was a scuffle of movement, but no response. Raph's stomach tightened in momentary unease. A paranoid thought knifed through his brain- what if this was it, the moment he'd been dreading since starting this whole thing?

Please, don't let it be that.

His body tensed, and he cast his eyes over and around, looking for flashes of silver and silent shadows. All of his anxiety surged back in. If Leonardo had set up some kind of ambush for him in retaliation-

I fucked up. I fucked up so bad...

"Leonardo." he said, drawing closer and letting a tinge of annoyance into his voice to cover his unease.

"H-h..."

Raph's heart clenched into a ball, and he edged around the last few inches of the overhang.

What he saw made his teeth snap together. Leonardo was on the ground, loosely curled in on himself and away from Raph's direction. His left arm was coated up to his shoulder in something that gleamed in the dark. The thick scent of coppery iron made Raph recoil slightly.

"Shit!" he hissed, dropping to his knees. "What... What tha hell happened to ya?!" His hands hovered over his prone form helplessly and pathetically, unwilling to touch him and make things worse. He didn't know what to do- he wasn't genius Donnie, or mystical healing guru Splinter; hell, he had trouble peeling the sticky paper off the dollar store Band-Aids.

Leonardo shuddered and jerked away from him, clutching his arm protectively. "D-don't touch me," he snapped thickly, and Raph saw the bloody bubbles popping in his nostrils when he spoke. "I'm fine."

Fine?! Raph let out a slightly hysterical laugh. In what universe did bleeding and barely able to talk qualify as fine? "An' I'm tha fuckin' Queen 'a Scots."

Leonardo tried to struggle to his feet, but slipped and started to fall. Instinctively, Raph reached to steady him. When he pulled his hand away, it was wet.

"Fuck," he said, trying to keep his voice from shaking. Ice had formed in his stomach, a stark contrast to the hot beads of sweat dripping down his neck."We gotta... I gotta move ya." He couldn't help Leonardo like this, out here in the dark where he couldn't see exactly where he was hurt.

He tried to lift him up, but Leonardo hissed and shoved him weakly. "No...just need... a minute..."

"Keep sayin' that dumb shit if ya want," Raph replied gruffly, "but it ain't happenin.' Lift yer arms up."

"Why? Why would you help me?" Leonardo growled. "I don't... Want you anymore."

It was a good question, and one that Raph didn't have an answer for and didn't really want to think about right then. So he ignored it and bared his teeth in a growl, shuttering his confused emotions behind anger.

"Ya want help'r not?"

He returned Leonardo's glare, and they both held a glowering competition for a good ten minutes before the other male sighed and did as he asked. Raph came behind him and wrapped his arms firmly around his chest, helping him to a standing position. He knew it hurt, but Leonardo didn't make a sound. Blood that wasn't his dripped down his neck.

"Where?" he mumbled, shivering and disoriented. His skin felt colder than usual.

Raph bit his lip and wracked his brain. Now what? He couldn't take him home to Donnie- that would be suicide. He wasn't a good enough liar to pull off the whole 'I just found him and randomly decided to be a good Samaritan' bit. Plus with the amount of blood he was losing, who knew what would come out of Leonardo's mouth when they got there.

And they couldn't stay here. The Foot or the Dragons would find them eventually, but the Foot might not get there in time and he knew for a fact that the Dragons hated Leonardo's guts. They wouldn't hesitate to kill him while he was weak and alone.

"Uuhm..." He needed somewhere secretive, somewhere with a place to lie down, secluded where they wouldn't be bothered...

The answer hit him so suddenly his knees almost gave out in relief.

"I know where we can go," he started, "but it's a little ways away. We gotta make a trek."

Leonardo shuddered and swayed against his body, and to Raph's shame he had to fight down a quick surge of arousal at the feeling of their flesh pressed so close together. This wasn't the time to be feeling frisky.

"Where?" he asked again, and Raph shook his head. "Jus' trust me, an' try ta stay awake."

"Tall...o-order..." Leonardo replied. Raph didn't know which part he was referring to, so he didn't answer, even when a shard of pain he refused to acknowledge ripped through his chest.

"Hold on," he muttered, supporting him as best he could as they started the long journey, questioning himself every step of the way.

What the fuck am I doing?

He had no damn clue.

By some stroke of luck, the soupy sky held off on its threat of drenching them during their walk. By the time Raph could see their destination over the horizon, Leonardo was in bad shape. His head lolled against his shoulder, and every breath sent streams of blood rolling down his side from his unseen wound. His body was a slighter build than Raph, but with no less amount of muscle, and his dead weight was beginning to be a problem.

"Hey," he said, jostling him. "We're almost there. I need ya ta wake up."

Leonardo was dead on his feet (eesh, fuck, not a good description) and his eyes fluttered open when Raph nudged him. He groaned weakly.

"We're... Stopping?"

"Yeah, genius. Two minutes, tops." He moved them forward again, but Leonardo didn't budge.

"Can't..." His voice was barely a whisper.

A thrill of panic shot through Raph like an arrowhead, and he tried to bury it by jabbing at his pride, hoping that would provoke a reaction.

"Ya kiddin' me right now?" he huffed. "Heir ta tha Foot Throne and all that bullshit, an' yer gonna check out on a rooftop cause yer feet hurt too bad ta keep moving a few more crummy steps?"

To his relief, he felt Leonardo twitch in his grip and straighten a little. "Rude...bastard."

They limped over to the fire escape and damnear fell into the window of the building. It was darker in here than outside, and the air was thick with dust and mildew. Raph relaxed, but he felt Leonardo tighten in his arms.

"Where'we?"

Raph didn't answer. Instead he steered him to the left, down a long carpeted hallway. "C'mon. This way."

Their breath and footfalls stirred clouds of dirt that scratched their throats and made their eyes water. Leonardo's blood hit the carpet behind them with soft plops, marking their path like a grim Hansel and Gretel trail. The only sound was Leonardo's hard breath in his ear, like a death rattle.

The door swerved out of the shadows so suddenly they almost missed it, different from the ones to the side of it by the huge neon green x painted on the wood.

Raph shouldered it open and dragged Leonardo the rest of the way inside. They stood there for a second while his eyes adjusted to the gloom.

"In here."

Leonardo refused to move. "Where are we?" he snapped as forcefully as he was able, making an obvious effort to speak clearly.

"In a old motel on the south side. M' family uses it as a halfway point. Last time we were here was when the lair was compromised. Ya should be safe here."

Leonardo choked out a humorless laugh. "M-motel? On a b-bed? W-with you?"

"Ya'd rather be bleedin' out?"

"P-possibly."

Raphael gritted his teeth and let him collapse heavily on the bed. He twisted to close the door-

"L-leave it... Open."

"What?"

"Just do it!"

So he did. Turning his back on him, he went to collect the spare first aid kit he knew Donnie kept under the dresser. There was a small portable tap light inside the case, and he took it out to turn it on. A dim yellow glow illuminated the small room, and in the light Leonardo's injures were obvious.

There were a few arbitrary scratches across his face and his eye was blackening, but the major problem was his arm. His shoulder was a mangled mess of shredded skin, split deep in some places all the way down to the white meat. The sheet under his hand was dampening with red.

He'd seen worse, but not too much worse.

"Jesus fuck," Raph breathed. "Who did this to ya?"

"L-like you care."

"I gotta stitch this. Yer gonna lose this arm if I don't."

"Don't... want you... Near me. Go away."

"Hard ta double wield without two fuckin' arms, asshole!" Raph snarled, just barely restraining himself from throwing the med kit at his face. "If ya didn't want my help then why tha fuck didn't ya go ta Bishop?"

To his surprise Leonardo gave a shudder that had nothing to do with pain. "Don't trust him. Never will." He scrunched in on himself. "You...too..."

He was losing blood a gallon a minute, and the sound was wavering in and out of his sentences, which were making less and less sense. Near hysteric, Raph grabbed a large blue bottle and wrenched the cap off. "Yeah well, too bad," he said, "ain't no way I'm taking the blame fer this if you die."

There were no cotton balls in the kit.

Fuck...

"This is gonna hurt," he warned, before upending the bottle so that the acidic shit inside steamed down Leonardo's neck and arm. It frothed and spat when it reached his wounds, pink bubbles foaming up beneath his skin. He braced himself for the screams, but Leonardo only clenched his jaw and spasmed, once, squeezing his eyes shut and breathing hard.

He didn't even flinch when Raph threaded the needle through his flesh with shaking fingers and started pulling it closed, slipping and sliding through the blood spurting from the torn veins with every exhale.

"S-still going to...kill you." Leonardo mumbled, staring drowsily at the wall.

"I'm savin' yer life." Raph growled.

"You're s-saving... your conscience. This is g-guilt."

Raph swallowed harshly. He didn't want that to be the reason, but it might have been. "I didn't do this."

"No," Leonardo laughed, low and delirious. "N-no. That's right. You only...t-tried...to rape me. My mis-mistake."

Raph crushed his lip between his teeth. "I...I wasn't. I mean, I was but...I did, but I wasn't gonna- I wasn't gonna do it for real."

It sounded weak and false to his own ears, so he wasn't surprised when Leonardo rolled his head against the wall and chuckled brokenly. "S-sure...you weren't. And y-you're...supposed to be...the good guy." He inhaled thickly. "G-gaze into the abyss..."

No, NO. He was the good guy. He was. He wasn't his beast.

"It wasn't like that!" Raph snapped loudly.

"Attacked. You attacked me and I almost..." Leonardo shivered, ignoring him. "I almost let you...I swore..." He fisted his hand on his knee. "You're- you're just... like h-him."

Raph exhaled sharply. He was stewing in shame and indignant anger, but morbid curiosity tickled the back of his mind. Just like him...

Before, immediately after...Leonardo had said again.

"Like...who?" Raph said quietly, hardly daring to blink. He didn't really even believe he'd get an answer. But with Leonardo like this, woozy from blood loss and pain...

"S-somebody else...attacked ya?"

Leonardo curled further into the headboard, and his chest rose and fell as he struggled to breathe. It sounded like he was hyperventilating. His eyes were bright and unfocused behind slitted lids, lost somewhere in the past. "Y-yes...no. No. Not attacked. Wish...wish he would have. Wish...could have fought it. I didn't think...never would have...acted..."

He gulped. "Let him in. Let him close. Let my guard down. Like with...you. Never again." He dissolved into shivers, digging his fingers into his leg. "H-hurt. So...so badly. And I c-couldn't s-stop it. Stronger than me. T-took...everything."

"H-how old?"

"Th-thirteen."

Raph balled his hands into fists. "I didn't... I never..." To his own surprise there was a hitch in the back of his throat. He was hoping that Leonardo wouldn't catch it.

"Crying... For me?" Leonardo asked slowly. "I've made...a lot of ...people cry... before. But no-one's ever... cried for me."

"I ain't crying." Raph snarled. "Don't let it go ta yer head. I still hate ya. But it's…"

"N-not fair. I know. The world...isn't fair." Leonardo sighed. "That's what... He said.. When he f-finished with me."

Raph stared, dumbfounded and wordless. He wasn't supposed to be hearing this. He didn't want to see this at all, this reflection of his own fucked up-ness in someone else. He didn't want to know that perfect, privileged, 'Honored child' Leonardo was just as broken inside as he was. It changed something, but he didn't know what, and he didn't want to.

He didn't want to pity the Foot Brat. He didn't want to empathize with him or sympathize or any of those other fucking psycho babble words. Seeing this, it made him feel eight thousand times more like shit for having unburied something so ugly. For the first time ever, he saw that Leonardo had more in common with him than sex. And he didn't know what to think.

He didn't make another sound as he finished stitching up the rest of the ragged wounds, realizing halfway through with a dull stab of shock that he recognized EXACTLY what had caused them, having been on the receiving end of Shredder's gauntlets before.

"Shreddah did this to ya." he whispered. To his own son...he couldn't imagine Splinter ever hurting him or his brothers like that.

Leonardo didn't respond, and Raph saw that he'd fallen asleep, exhaustion winning out over pain. His air hitched in his lungs and his eyes rolled fitfully behind his closed lids, the side of his face streaked with dried blood.

He looked shattered, fragile.

Raph cleaned up as best he could without touching him and tucked himself into the corner furthest away from the bed and stayed there for the rest of the night, hands sticky with crimson and nose full of the scent of iron and pain.

Translations:

Sono shimerimashita: So Wet

Totemo ōkiku: Big, so big.

DOKO KA NI ITSUTE!: Go away!

Like I said, we're returning to Leo/Raph primarily in the next chapter. There will still be some Leo/Karai sprinkled in periodically. I'd still appreciate some reviews for this one, though, if you'd please?

Also, anyone realize that Leo has a problem with closed doors? :-)