Wake Me Up When It's All Over

"I tried carrying the weight of the world, but I only have two hands. Life's a game made for everyone - and love is the prize. Life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes. So wake me up when it's all over when I'm wiser and I'm older, all this time I was finding myself and I didn't know I was lost. I didn't know!"

- Avicii

Beckett noted the uncharted territory she felt immediately, but she couldn't just sit and stare at Alexis, someone had to speak up.

"Goodmorning Detective Beckett." Though, Alexis spoke first and then smiled an almost knowing smile as she shifted her blue eyes sharply from Beckett's to her father's, "Dad I'm going to make some coffee, would anyone else like some?"

Her words were casual as she quickly disregarded the surprise she showed mere moments ago. It suddenly seemed she almost secretly expected to find them curled up on the couch together this morning. To be honest the quickness of her change in demeanor almost appeared as if she was embarrassed for reacting so shocked upon finding Beckett snuggled up against her father.

Castle's mind on the other hand was still in a haze. "Dad?"

Castle smiled at his daughter, "Yes, thank you Alexis." He looked at Beckett, "Coffee Beckett?"

"Yes, thank you Alexis."

Alexis shook her head at the lack of words between her father and Beckett as she walked toward the kitchen to make coffee. She had always known they loved each other, hell even Annika pointed it out last night. So, why couldn't they just acknowledge what they both already knew was the truth?

"Morning." Castle smirked at Beckett and she just smiled and shook her head at him.

"Good morning Castle," she smiled slightly her tone sleepy and light. It was refreshing to hear her happy. She hadn't been happy in so long.

Castle looked away from her toward the kitchen, "Do you think she cares?"

"We fell asleep on the couch. What is there to care about?" Beckett said trying to avoid Castle's eyes, but he took her hand and touched her jaw line forcing her to look him in the eyes.

"You may be able to continue pretending Kate, but I can't. I'm not like you." Castle said with a sigh.

"What are you saying Rick?" Beckett said her head tilted ever the slightest as he let his hand fall from her face and grabbed her other hand in his. Should he push her? Though, he had already started.

"Never mind, you're right. There is no reason for her to care; after all, we did only just fall asleep on the couch." Castle smiled at her letting her hands go just as Alexis turned around two cups of coffee in her hand.

"Coffee is ready." She smiled as she walked toward the two on the couch and handed them each their respected cups.

Just then Martha walked downstairs, "I smell coffee." She smiled as she sashayed her way into the kitchen, "Good morning Rick, Kate." Martha smiled at the trio by the couch.

"Good morning mother. Alexis darling do we have any more sugar?" Martha wondered.

Castle saw this as his opportunity to leave the couch, "I'll get it mother. I put it in a different cabinet."

Alexis looked to Kate and sighed as she joined her on the couch, "Don't break his heart, okay? I don't think he could handle it."

Kate's eyes locked onto Alexis's, "I don't know what you mean?"

"That right there is what I mean. You like facts and hard evidence detective, right?" Alexis wondered.

"Yes, Alexis they lead to the truth." Beckett pointed out as she took a sip of her coffee.

Alexis looked down to her feet and then looked back into Beckett's eyes, "Just, just try not to hurt him." She left a bit frustrated with Beckett's denial, but not as frustrated as Castle was.

Beckett closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, exhaling a large sigh. Annika watched everyone from the middle of the staircase. She had been sitting watching everyone down below since Martha greeted everyone. She had learned to observe through silence very young and had watched sadly as Castle and then later Alexis left Beckett alone on the couch.

It seemed it was Kate's fault they both left her side. Annika could tell by the way Kate sunk guiltily into the couch and closed her eyes after Alexis left. Annika noted Kate looked sad, Castle looked upset, Alexis looked worried, and Martha looked out of place with her too early in the morning cheer as she started to make breakfast.

"Kate, what would you like for breakfast?" Martha asked Beckett cheerfully.

Kate smiled a fake smile as her mind was in another place, "I'm sure whatever you make will be wonderful."

"Nonsense, at least tell me how you like your eggs." Martha went on.

"Scrambled is perfect, thank you Martha." Beckett smiled.

"Not a problem dear." Martha smiled and pointed the spatula at her as she asked Alexis for something. Kate gripped her coffee mug and stared at the mocha color inside the mug as her mind raced.

Annika inhaled and exhaled standing and walking downstairs. When she got to the bottom step she looked to the Castle family in the kitchen busy making breakfast and quietly walked over to Beckett. Beckett looked up as Annika took a seat next to Beckett on the couch. Beckett smiled at her, "Good morning Annika."

"Morning." Annika said as she looked to the kitchen and then back to Beckett. Annika hated tension and didn't expect to wake up to it this morning, but she also had learned to expect the unexpected.

Martha was the first to spot Annika, "Annika I didn't even see you come downstairs. I'm glad you're awake, breakfast is almost served." Martha smiled.

"Thank you." Annika mustered a sleepy smile as Castle's eyes flew to the couch at the mention of Annika's name.

"Morning Annika." Castle smiled.

"Good morning." Annika smiled sleepily. Castle's eyes quickly glanced to Kate and memories of holding her close to him as she cried into his shoulder and gripped onto him as tightly as she could, made him look away. Was she really not going to acknowledge what had happened last night? The progress they had made? It would be like Kate to push him away. So, why did he think she wouldn't?

Kate wished she could take back her words, but she couldn't. She didn't mean what she said at least not the way Castle took it, did she? No. No. No. Not after the way he helped her last night. He listened, he held her while she cried and soothed her while she finally broke. She had never broken like that in someone's arms, and it felt so good to let someone hold and comfort her. Though, in her normal Kate fashion she did what she always does when someone gets too close to knocking down her emotional walls, she pushed them, specifically Castle, away. It was one step forward two steps back type dance.

Last night had been a big step and she knew it was up to her if it would be a step backward or forward. Quite frankly that terrified her.

"Come and get it kiddos, breakfast is served." Martha smiled.

Everyone served themselves and was now sitting down at the dining room table. Beckett sat in the middle of Castle and Annika, while Alexis sat next to Annika and Martha next to her son.

"This is excellent Martha, thank you." Beckett broke the silence.

"Yeah, thanks Grams." Alexis piped up.

"Thank you for helping darling and anytime Beckett." Martha smiled eying Annika, "Annika do you like the eggs?"

"Yes, thank you." She said as she gave Martha a forced smile then glanced over at Beckett and Castle. Annika didn't know what was wrong with them other than something was definitely wrong. Kate and Castle were both not only angry, but sad as well. She glanced at Alexis' face to gauge her emotions only to have found Alexis was looking right back at her. She quickly looked away from Alexis and back to the eggs on her plate.

At that moment, silence screamed over the table once more as Kate's mind raced of how to respond to the man sitting beside her. The man she knew she loved and loved her. The man that made her do irrational things and the only person that could make her feel like a scared teenager in love for the first time.

Martha noted the silence at the table. Her son was not a silent person. She looked around and saw Alexis eying Annika periodically as if they were both in on a secret she didn't know about. She sighed when she noticed why her son had been so quiet all morning. She knew that face. It was one of the many faces only Katherine Beckett could cause.

"So, Katherine did you sleep well last night?" Martha tried breaking the silence once again.

Kate stopped her fork before it made it to her mouth and held it midair as she stared at Martha. Castle glanced at her first soon followed by Alexis and Annika. They waited for an answer as time stood still.

"Yes, excellent." Kate smiled.

"Good, good." Martha said, though the looks Alexis and her son wore made her think it wasn't so good. Martha looked at the empty plates, "Would anyone like more?"

"No, thanks Gram." Alexis said as she stood, "Annika do you want anymore?"

"No, I'm fine thank you. I can help you in the kitchen if you would like." Annika offered knowing Beckett wanted to leave.

"Thanks." Alexis smiled to herself. Annika really was a good kid.

"Beckett, Rick are you finished?" Martha asked.

"Yes, thanks Martha." Beckett smiled.

"Is there anymore bacon left?" asked Castle.

Alexis yelled from the kitchen, "Annika is bringing you the last two pieces."

Annika brought the plate to Castle and he smiled, "Thanks Annika."

"No problem." She eyed Beckett's demeanor before she walked back to Alexis and Martha. She looked nervous, conflicted over something, but mainly as if she was holding back a secret she wanted to tell someone very badly. Annika knew that feeling and she felt bad for Kate. Secrets were never a good thing because they ate you up inside. Annika had many secrets as well and she had learned that people die over secrets. Which, is why she was so scared to share her secret with detective Kate. Annika wondered what made Kate so scared that she couldn't share a secret with the one person she seemed to trust the most in her life.

Beckett grabbed her coffee mug as the two sat at the table alone. Last night he had held her, wrapped her up, and soothed her trembling body as she clung to him for strength that she did not have. Silence screamed as the two ignored each other. Beckett broke the silence, "I should go help them." Yet she didn't move.

"Okay." Castle couldn't believe by being there for her last night he was getting pushed farther away. It was tough when last night many of her unknowingly fragile walls had fallen allowing him to easily walk right over the ruble of fallen debris, but come daylight her walls were back up and stronger than ever. It hurt to have access granted to someone's heart one moment and have that access denied to you the next.

Beckett stood and reached in front of Castle to grab the plate the last two pieces of bacon once were on. He gently grabbed her wrist meeting her eyes, "Castle?" she asked curious.

"It's okay. I can get it myself." Castle said stubbornly.

Alexis glanced at Annika as they washed and dried dishes, "Do you think she will say something?"

Annika looked at the detective, Castle's hand on her wrist, her eyes curious with underlying hurt. Hurt in herself because of how ashamed she felt that she couldn't say something so simple and honest to the person she trusted with her life.

"I don't know. I guess time will tell." Annika shrugged her shoulders and glanced at Castle and Beckett.

After the girls were done with the dishes Beckett decided it was time to leave. She couldn't stand the tension in the house anymore. She told herself she and Annika needed a change of clothes anyway.

"Oh Kate darling, it was wonderful seeing you. I wish you could stay." Martha said as she gave Beckett a hug and turned to Annika, "It was nice meeting you dear, we hope to see you soon."

"Likewise." Annika smiled as Martha pulled Annika into a hug then headed toward the living room.

"See you later Annika." Alexis smiled an almost sad smile at Annika as if to say, 'I guess we wait now.' She turned to Beckett, "It was good seeing you detective Beckett."

"Likewise Alexis." Beckett's words as well as Alexis' were forced. Alexis glanced at Annika one last time and then followed after her Grams leaving Castle, Beckett and Annika standing alone by the door.

Castle drew in a breath and let it out. Kate smiled a sad smile as her eyes met his a million unspoken words drifted between the two as her dark eyes crashed into his ocean eyes, searching for answers to questions not yet asked.

"See you tomorrow?" Beckett wondered as the sound of hope ebbed its way into her tone.

"Mmmm." Castle managed as he smiled tightly at Kate.

Beckett bowed her head to avoid Castle's eyes. Instead her eyes settled on Annika, "Ready?" Kate's voice was soft. Annika nodded yes, she wasn't in the mood to talk she gave Rick a small smile and inhaled as Kate laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder directing her out of the house.

"See you tomorrow Annika." Castle gave Annika a smile which she returned to be cordial.

Annika felt like a shadow as she watched the two adults eyes meet again. Silence screamed as Beckett's eyes held to his. Annika felt like screaming, 'say something' but her lips remained sealed as she stepped out the door with Beckett.

Castle exhaled a long breath as he watched the door close, metaphorically and literally. She had shut him out just when he thought they couldn't get any closer.

After the door clicked shut Beckett drew in a breath with closed eyes. Beckett and Annika took a few steps down the corridor of Castle's building in silence. Then Annika looked up at Beckett, "I'm in pajamas."

Annika watched as Beckett closed her eyes and smiled a forced smile at her. Beckett rubbed at her forehead and leaned her back against the corridor. She hadn't even thought of Annika's attire because she was so wrapped up in Castle and her, and Annika wasn't going to mention it with all the tension going on in the house. She was a child that kept to herself for the most part.

So now here they stood in the hall starring each other down as Beckett looked back into a younger, more jaded version of herself at ten years old in over sized pajamas and a fitted coat. They stood stoic, Beckett hoping Annika would move first and Annika hoping Beckett would say something, anything.

Finally Annika couldn't take it anymore, "Kate? What do you want to do? Should I go change or are you ready?"

Beckett looked up to the ceiling and rubbed at her eyes and then looked to Annika. In a hushed defeated whisper she held out her hand, "I'm ready. Let's just go."

Annika inhaled and let out a deep sigh at Beckett's ridiculous idea to leave. What about her clothes? It's not like she had many at Beckett's place. She looked back to Castle's door and as she exhaled she took Beckett's hand even though she didn't want to hold it, she did. As they walked away Annika noted they weren't walking fast but rather slow.

They walked slow because he was pulling on her heart.

Annika smiled sadly as they rode the elevator down to the ground floor. It was so quiet and almost lonely inside. Annika closed her eyes momentarily and opened them as she looked up at Beckett, "Castle's place is nice."

Beckett smiled at Annika's attempt of small talk. She didn't want to speak of Castle right now. Beckett's mind was such a haze, Castle's voice so clear in her mind that she didn't notice the elevator open. Annika started to walk out when she heard Beckett whispering, "I'm not ready." This time louder, "I'm not ready." Then Kate quickly hit the button that closed the elevator. She looked up for a moment as she pressed the number to Castle's floor. She looked down with nervous apprehension at Annika and Annika smiled a knowing smile.

"I'm...I'm not ready to go yet." Kate explained quickly while Castle's small, clear voice grew louder in her mind as the the elevator ascended. She drew in a deep breath and released a shaky one. She didn't want to pretend anymore. She was scared, terrified, but she couldn't leave. Her heart wouldn't let her. She just didn't, couldn't pretend anymore. Her mind continued to race. She wanted, no. She needed to see him. He would know what to do, right? Though, she had been so selfish and left him so upset with her. She looked at Annika nervously and gave her a small tight lipped nervous smile.

"Okay." Annika smiled a small knowing smile, because Kate Beckett was more than ready to stop pretending.

lmk what ya think! We still have a hell of a ride and what exactly is she going to say? Castle's pretty upset with her. Oh and thank you God! My computer is back baby!