CHAPTER TWENTY
I hated having to sit across from her everyday. To see that bitchy look she gave me. It made me want to go across the table and beat the hell out of her. But, I didn't. I ate my food, put my bowl in the sink, and left.

I did my own laundry. I would wait until she left and bring my clothes down and wash them. I was alway alone, but it saved me from knowing she touched my stuff.

I already didn't like the fact that she helped cook my food. I wanted to throw it up every time I ate it. But, I somehow managed to keep it down.

I didn't return the looks Carol gave me. I ignored them and smiled at Beth and laughed. I never let Carol see me cry. She couldn't know how much she hurt me, ever. I could never give her that satisfaction.

I've dreamed everyday that I'll get to take something and bash it over her head. In the day dream, Daryl pulls me off her, telling me it's not worth it, while she lays in the floor crying out for Daryl. He spits on her, and we walk away as she sobs on the floor. It's always the same and it pops up in my mind five or six times a day. It was beautiful.

I quit watching Judith with Beth. I was trying to slowly distance myself from her, and spending hours watching Judith wasn't doing that. So, I told her I needed to do my own chores and keep up my part in the prison. I would haul water, sweep, reorganize the library when there wasn't anything else to do, or pick up random stuff.

We still hung out. We ate meals together, she slept in the office they turned into a room with me, we still spent too much time together. And I didn't like not having anyone to talk to.

I still had to act pissy with Michonne. That was really hard, because right now she was like Jesus in disguise.

Michonne and I had discussed letting me go on 'raids' with her, that way I could see Daryl. But, she said that while I'm pregnant, they may argue against it and realize something was up. So, I sadly agreed.

Today, Michonne was going to meet Daryl again. Day 7. A week since he left. I had yet to write my letter. I just kept staring at his, nearly crying every time. It was a little piece of him from out there. It was amazing.

I sat down at my desk in my new room. I took out a piece of paper and a blue pen and began writing.

'Dear Daryl,
God, I miss you like crazy. It's really only been a week? It feels like a thousand. I can't wait for you to be home. I'm going to be fat by the time that happens, so, don't get too excited.

I tried to see if Michonne could take me out with her so I could see you, but she said it would be risky. I guess it would, but the chance to actually see you and feel you was too amazing to not ask. We only have 175 days left. Wow, it sounds a lot worse when I put it that way.

I hope you found a good shelter. Maybe someplace nice enough that you can stay the entire six months in. And, you know I don't mean nice as in comfy. Nice as in sheltered and safe.

I don't know what I would do if I lost you out there, so you have to promise me that you'll come back and have all your limbs (no offense to Merle) and not be a Walker. (Damn, again no offense.)

Sorry, I'm just nervous. I don't mean to be rude. Maybe it's the hormones. Do hormones kick in this quick? Well, I'd hardly call this quick. I'm two months pregnant! Nearly three!

My eighteenth birthday is coming up in a few days. I wish you could be here to celebrate. Because I would technically be legal, therefore we could celebrate with... Sex! So, I guess we'll just have to wait onmy birthday sex, huh?

I'm trying to make light of this whole situation, but in all honestly I could kill everyone out there. I want to rip them apart from the people they love, from their significant other, and make them just wander around out side the gates for six months. I want them to be Walker bait and I want to be the one who has to put them out when they get bit and turn. It would be the sweetest revenge.

Sadly, I don't do revenge well. I just sort of silently kill them and send them to hell over and over again.

Is it just me, or does this letter have serious mood swings?

I had a checkup with Hershel today. The baby's doing great! He said everything is going as it should. I'm not sure when I'm supposed to be able to hear a heart beat, but I can't wait. I'm going to ask Michonne to get me a baby book the next time she's out. One for names and one for facts about pregnancies and stuff. Maybe we'll be in luck and she'll find one titled "How to be a Mom in the Apocalypse", it'd be useful.

Do you want a boy or a girl? Have you thought of any names? I can understand if you haven't. You've been all over the place, I'm sure.

I love you to the moon and back and pray that you're alright. Be careful and don't trust anyone. (Chances are you're not going to find anyone out there, but you never know.) So, be safe, love.

Day 7
-Kyra'

I folded up the letter neatly, making minimal amounts of creases. I kissed it, and prayed that both Michonne and Daryl would stay safe out there. I couldn't stand to lose either one. Even though I'd only just realized a few days ago how much Michonne cared about Daryl and me, she was a big part of my life now.

I put my hand to my stomach and whispered, "Pray daddy gets this safely."

Was it weird to talk to the fetus? I had been lately. Maybe it was odd. I wasn't sure. One time my aunt was pregnant, but she was distant and lived an hour away. And when my brother was born I was only four. So, I had no real experience with babies.

I laid on my new bed, my shirt pulled up so my stomach was exposed, and just set my hands on my slightly bulging stomach. I wish I could feel it moving. Did it even move yet? I wasn't sure about any of it, really.

There was a knock on the wooden door and through the blurry glass I could see a silhouette.

"Come in," I said, putting the letter under my pillow, although I was sure it was just Michonne.

It was, and she walked in, wearing a tshirt and jeans. It was getting warmer outside and jackets weren't really needed anymore. But, it was too cold for her tank tops she was so fond of.

"Hey, I'm going out. Need anything?" she asked, closing the door.

I handed her the letter and smiled. "If you find a place with book, a book or two about babies would be super useful."

She walked around the room, it only being slightly larger than my other one. But, it was enough to get a bigger bed and somewhat of a crib. As for now, it would do. I was only here 175 more days.

"Kyra, can I ask you something important?" she asked, sitting in my desk chair.

"Yeah," I answered, one eye brow slightly raised.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm pro Daryl and all, but, why him?" she asked. It was sort of an odd question coming from her. I didn't expect it to say the least. I wasn't sure how to answer it by no means.

"Um, I don't know. I guess we just grew closer and one thing led to another." I answered, but it was a pathetic answer.

"But- and feel free at any time to tell me to shut up- what happened that just sparked up a relationship between you two?"

"It was after my first, and only, raid. I was upset and he was there. He was always there. Daryl may look tough, but he has this heart of gold and he's completely willing to give up his life to save your own. He was there for me in the library and one minute we're just hugging and the next... It was more." I felt pretty proud of my answer.

"So, when did you guys start having sex? Or, was that night the night you guys started having sex?" she was so blunt! Just bam!

"No. We actually tried not to get closer. But, after a few weeks things just escalated and after barely speaking, we were in a tight space and I just knew that I wanted to be with him."

"This may sound very... Teen girlish... But, what happened? Did you make the move, did he? Is he a rough lover, or is it more gentle. Were you scared the first time?"

"The first time, like I said, we were in a tight space. We were checking traps and were just bombarded by this mini herd and we ran and found this little shed. We were quiet and he was looking out of this little crack. He turned around to tell me it was clear, and our faces were inches apart," I nearly forgot I was telling Michonne the story, my eyes were closed and I imagined it all again. When I had Daryl. "We just stared at each other for a minute, and then I stepped closer. His breath was on my face and I wanted to kiss him so so bad. But, I didn't want to be pushy, so I waited. And he closed the gap between us, and before I knew it my hands were in his hair and his were under my shirt. I'll spare you the details, but that's how we started it all. And you wanted to know if he was rough or gentle. It depends on what mood. But, normally he's gentle. It surprised me, at first. But, he is." I opened my eyes and looked at her. She was smiling.

"So, your first time with Daryl-"

"First time all together," I interrupted.

"Right, so your first time.. Was in a shed?"

"Well, yeah. It's not the most romantic place, but.." I laughed slightly, and she did too.

"Well, thanks for sharing your wonderful experience with me." she stood up and put the letter in her back pocket. "I'll see you when I get back."

Then she was gone.

I had never told anyone about my first time. I was glad it was Michonne that I told, and glad she didn't judge me or anything. When I left the prison, I wanted her to go with us. She was part of my family now.