A/N: TRIGGER WARNING. If you are uncomfortable hearing some details of a sexual assault, proceed with caution.
CHAPTER 20
Olivia had finished her second glass of wine before she heard it. Sobbing coming from the bedroom. She knew Alex didn't want to talk to her right now, but she couldn't bear the thought of her hurting, knowing what she believed Robert had done to her.
She got up from the couch and walked to the bedroom, lightly knocking on the door.
"Alex, sweetie," she said gently. "May I come in?"
She only heard a muffled "uh-huh" through the cries in the pillow. Alex was lying on the bed on her stomach with her face into a pillow.
Olivia laid on the bed beside Alex, on her side, and slowly put her hand on Alex's back to rub it. Alex rolled on her side to face Olivia, face red from tears. It was at that point that Olivia couldn't hold back her tears.
"Alex, baby, I'm so sorry," she said. "I know, I screwed up. I should have told you, and I have no excuse. I just was afraid of this. I couldn't bare to think about what he did to you."
"Liv..." Alex said.
"No, it's okay," Olivia said. "You don't have to tell me. I just hope you talked to someone, that you had some support."
"I did," Alex said. "I went to counseling for a short bit after I left him."
"Why didn't you press charges, Alex?" Olivia asked. "You know you could have called. Elliot and I would have done anything in our power to stop him."
"Because, I was tired of being a victim, Liv!" She said. "After Zapata and Witness Protection, I never wanted to feel that helpless again. So, I left him."
"So, it just happened once?" Olivia asked, somewhat relieved.
"Well, yes," Alex said. "He could be rough in bed, but he'd usually stop after I begged. I felt so broken then that I just went along with it."
"Alex, I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone," Olivia said, putting her hand on Alex's face to wipe away the tears.
"One night, he just wouldn't stop," Alex began crying. "It started as usual with light choking and holding me down. When I asked him to stop, he only began to push harder, telling me I was a whore and deserved it. I begged him to stop, and he kept going. The choking. The biting. All of it. He forced me to perform oral sex on him, and after I had gone to sleep thinking it was over, I woke up with him holding me down again and raping me from behind." Alex was sobbing by this point, and Olivia pulled her into a hug.
"Liv, I've heard all of these stories from SVU and the Congo," Alex continued. "I know what to do, but at that moment, and afterwards, I was frozen. Everything I knew went out the door. I left him the next day, though."
"Alex, that's common," Olivia said. "No one deserves that, nor is there a right or wrong way to handle it. You were brave for leaving."
"When were the other women raped?" Alex asked.
"Before you and he were together," Olivia said. "Even if you went to the police, it wouldn't have changed anything."
"But it would have for Katie," Alex said.
"No, Alex, don't do that," Olivia told her. "If the system would have caught him years ago, and not let his family pay is way out of everything since he was a teenager, it would have stopped him. This is not your fault."
"I can come to the precinct tomorrow," Alex finally said after calming down.
"Alex, you don't have to do that," Olivia said.
"No, you need a statement," Alex said. "The more witnesses and evidence you have, the better."
"Alex, I can take your statement," Olivia told her. "You don't need to go down there."
"Yes, Liv, I do," Alex said. "If I was the judge and the girlfriend of the witness took the statement, I would throw it out. I'll go down tomorrow and give a statement, preferably to Amanda or Fin."
Olivia nodded. She knew Alex was right.
Just then, her phone rang.
"It's Fin," Olivia said. "He can leave a message."
"No, get it," Alex said. "He wouldn't call unless it was important."
"Benson," Olivia said answering the phone. "Oh my god, where?" She looked at the Alex. "I'll be right there."
"What is it?" Alex asked.
"Katie's body was just found dead in an alley," Olivia said.
"No, no, no, no..." Alex said repeatedly.
"Alex it's okay," Olivia said. "I'll call Casey. She can come stay with you."
"The hell! I'm going with you," Alex said.
"Alex, you can't do that," Olivia said. "You'll stay here with Casey or you can come to the precinct."
"Fine, let's go to the precinct," Alex said.
#
Olivia dropped Alex off at the precinct before heading to the crime scene. She knew, at least, Alex would be safe there, and she knew Barba and Rollins would be there with her.
"Can I get you anything, Alex? Coffee? Tea?" Rollins asked.
"Tea would be nice," Alex said sitting down in Olivia's office with Barba.
"Are you okay, Alex?" Barba asked.
"A lot better off than Katie," she said flatly. "I told Liv I would give me statement to Amanda tonight."
"Okay, we can do that later," Barba said. "Would it be okay if I asked you a few questions about Robert?"
Alex nodded.
"Do you think he's capable of murder?" Barba asked. "I mean, the rapes, we're going to get him on, but proving murder will be harder and doesn't seem to fit his personality. Of course, you know him better than any of us."
"I don't know," Alex said. "I mean, no, I don't think so, but I also never pegged him for a serial rapist, either."
"Fair enough," Barba said. "Does he own any guns?"
"No, not that I ever saw," Alex said. "Why? Is that how Katie and the other victim were killed?"
Barba nodded. "Yes. The prior victim had been raped a few days, we think, before the murder. The MO was similar to the other rapes. Same thing with Katie. Our working theory, before tonight, was that maybe the first victim could identify him, and he killed her to keep her quiet. The other two rape victims didn't know their attacker, so there wouldn't be any reason to kill them. Katie, of course, could, and did identify him."
Alex sat quietly. Something didn't sit right with her. She had assumed the murder had been the result of the assault getting out of hand. She had never even heard Robert mention guns, nor seen any in their home when she lived there. Of course, there was a lot she didn't know about Robert.