A/N: I'm a Literati sucker, what I can say? Hehe. I hope you like this story. It's completely different from the other one. It's a little more drama and it's a little more complicated than the others. The characters are little more dramatic and not easy to write, but I loved them in this way. I put something very personal in this story. What Jess is going to live here, it was a state close to me before. The territory I'm about to enter hits close to home for me. But I think you're gonna like it despite the drama. I hope for your support as always and please review if you like what you read. That keeps my muse alive!
P.S. English is not my first language, but I'm really trying here. So, if you think that it's hard for you to read - just don't read it! The reason I'm in this alone it's because I have updates every day. I love my readers and I want to pleased them in that way.
Rating: T (maybe M for some chapters, but we'll see);
Story:
Rory comes back to Stars Hollow to try and pick up the pieces of her ruined life. But she is not the only one who want to do that. Jess is there too, but he is not the same.
Chapter 20 Time for the truth
Rory looked at him and her hand grasped his. He looked at her with surprise in his eyes. He just had told her that he had hurt somebody, but she acted as if she wanted to support him. Jess lowered his look to their laced fingers and swallowed hard. He did not deserve her. He never did, but she was here in spite all. She was beside of him and he was about to tell her the ugly truth. Because it was ugly and it was something he wanted to forget, but his nightmares could not stop chasing him. There was not another way out but the one he had chosen. He could not escape from that pain in any other way. He wanted it, but they had saved him. They had saved a person, who deserved did not want this.
Then Rory came back in his life and it was as if she had never left. She was here and she cared about him. She had kissed him and he had responded it. She had made him feel again and that was something dangerous. He did not want this. He did not want her, but he had no other choice. Jess sighed and felt her touch on his face again. He looked at her. She looked at him with care in her eyes. Her head tilted and a soft smile appeared on her face. Rory showed him that she would stay no matter what. She had showed to him that she wanted it. She wanted him. Jess winced and felt her thumb skimmed over his cheek. He closed his eyes and barely resisted on the urge to lie on that hand. It was so tempting just to sink in her arms and forget about everything. It was so easy for him to do that and yet so difficult. She was so pure and he was a ruin.
"What happened, Jess?" She whispered and Jess looked in her eyes. There was nothing but sympathy there. There was nothing but care and he felt even guiltier than he already was. His breath hitched and his heart pounded. He tried to put his thoughts in order and took a deep breath.
"I… killed somebody." He whispered and lowered his look again. The pain in his chest showed up again. It was never gone since the moment all this had happened. Rory kept silence. She was waiting for him to talk. But she kept her touch to his hand and his face. She did not tremble in his words. She just was there and Jess continued. "Her name was Megan." Here was the tremble. "I met her after our bookstore failed. She… looked like you and I… I guess I needed something, or somebody beside of me then." Jess took a deep breath. "I was stupid, I know, but I really cared about her." He looked at Rory and saw the pain in Rory's eyes. He knew why she looked at him in this way. She had the same look on her face when she had seen him with Shane. Jess shook his head. "You know what? Never mind…"
"No." She stopped him quickly. "No, don't stop! I want to know!"
"Rory." His eyes softened when he looked at her. "I hurt you enough before and I don't want to do it right now. I'll just… I told you to walk away!"
"I want to know!" Rory tilted her head. "I really want to know."
"Are you sure?" He rose up his eyebrows and she nodded. "Okay." Jess coughed and distraught his look from her again. "So, Megan and I were together couple of months and we really felt good. Well, at least I was good." He rubbed his chest. "She was… full of life and she was like me when it came to relationships. But she told me that I was different." Jess smiled with sadness. "I can still hear her laugh when she told me that… and I believed her." His smile faded. "Then one day… I thought we should move in together. I called her and I told her that I have a surprise for her. She sounded strange on the phone, but I thought that it was just imagination." His breath hitched. "I went to pick her up from her work. She worked as lawyer assistant. So… she got in the car and she smiled to me, but there was something fake in that smile. I could feel it. Then… I drove off." Jess looked at Rory. Her eyes glossed. He continued. "When I asked her what was wrong, she asked me to stop the car so we could talk." He closed his eyes with a pain. "I refused and she got furious. We argued and then she told me that she is pregnant." He chuckled bitterly. "But that wasn't all. She wasn't sure about the father of that baby."
"Oh Jess." Rory uttered and he felt her look over his face. But he could not look at her, not yet.
"Then… we fought again. I called her whore and she called me bastard and we… I just… I didn't see the truck and… I couldn't react on time… and…" He could not finish. Rory wrapped arms around him and her hand buried in his hair on the back of his neck. "Rory…" He whispered on her shoulder.
"It wasn't your fault." She whispered, but Jess knew that she was crying. Still, the feeling of her arms wrapped around him made him feel even worse. He was a killer and she was hugging him as if he deserved that. "It wasn't your fault, Jess." She whispered once more and he felt his own arms wrapped around her and pulled her closer.
"I was." He said softly. His chin rested on her shoulder. "It was my fault and I have to pay for it. I have to make this pain go away."
"No." She held him tight. "It wasn't your fault, Jess! It wasn't your fault!"
"Rory…"
"It wasn't!" He felt her lips touched his temple and closed his eyes again. It was so easy with her. It was so warm and addicting. "You don't have to go anywhere." She uttered and he flinched again. He knew what she meant. "I'll be here and I'll help you get through this, but please… stay here." She pulled back slightly and he saw the tears in her eyes. "Stay here… with me."
"It's so difficult, Rory." Jess shook his head. "It's so difficult…"
"I know." She nodded and touched his face again. "I know, but we can make it – you and I."
"I could've stopped." He hissed. "I could've stopped and… she would be alive now!"
"You don't know that." Rory shook her head. "You can't predict the future Jess!"
"But I…"
"I won't give up!" Rory shook her head. "I won't give up on you! I did it once and I won't make the same mistake again!"
"It's pointless, Rory." Jess sighed with sadness in his eyes. "It would be better for everyone if I just gone. You don't have to…"
"Maybe it would be better for you." She touched his face again and leaned her forehead to his. "But there are people who still care about you, Jess."
"Yeah." He blinked. "But these…people would be better without me."
"You don't know that!" Rory shook her head and her hands lay at the both sides of his face. "You don't know anything."
"Rory…" His breath hitched.
"You said that you don't want to hurt me." She whispered and her lips touched his. "Then… don't!"