A/N: Well the last chapter seems to have gone down well. I expect you'll like this one too, especially cos it's the longest in the story! ;) I started it over again three times only to use little bits of each version at the end. Most difficult chapter to write in the whole story... I think it turned out ok in the end, hope you agree!

Thanks a million once again to every one who has reviewed. Your words mean so much to me. I can still barely believe there are so many of you who keep following this story!

I'll let you enjoy now!

Remember full disclaimer can be found in chapter 1 and 11.

*** Chapter 20

When Draco woke up the next morning he felt a little disoriented. It took him a good while to remember where he was and realise he was lying in Harry's arms. Once he did, he carefully pulled out of Harry's embrace and slid off the bed. Trying not to disturb the brunette's sleep, he quickly gathered his clothes and pulled them on, wincing from the pain any movement caused his abused backside. Once fully dressed he quietly muttered a charm to ease the pain. Then he tip toed to the door and gently lowered the handle, hoping the door wouldn't creak or make any other noise the Gryffindor might hear.

As it was the door stayed quiet but also didn't budge. He tried a few times but the door stayed closed, obviously locked in some way. Taking his wand he tried performing all spells that he was aware of that could open doors or locks. Still no result, the door staying firmly shut.

"What do you think you're doing?" Came a sleepy voice from the bed, making Draco freeze on the spot. Harry stretch languidly, before turning to look at Draco sleepily. "Get back here."

Draco turned around to look at Harry. With his wand in his hand he had several thoughts crossing his mind at once. His hesitation lasted a good few seconds but in the end he tucked his wand away again and made his way to the bed. He was just about to sit down when Harry stopped him.

"Naked..."

The one word was the only thing he said but Draco understood and with a sigh he started to take his clothes off again.

"Make sure to leave the mask too." Harry added, the sleep still evident in his voice.

Draco just nodded and continued taking off his clothes. When he was fully disrobed he climbed under the covers again, only to have Harry immediately drape himself over his body.

"I don't like having my sleep disturbed." He chided and bit into one of Draco's nipples, pleased when Draco hissed in pain. "Especially not by you trying to sneak out."

"Sorry." Draco muttered, lying rather stiffly underneath Harry.

"Hmm... remember that I'm in control. That also means you won't leave until I'm ready to let you go."

"But... you can't force me...!" Draco tried to protest.

"And you know I wouldn't. If you want to leave, all you have to do is say so. So long as you're honest about it and not just trying to run away from me, I won't hold you."

Letting the words sink in, Draco took a moment before he replied. "So, can I go?"

Harry chuckled but propped himself up on his elbows so he could look at Draco. "Why do you want to go?" When Draco didn't answer he went on. "I suspect that you're just trying to take the easy way out this morning, so unless you can actually give me a reason of some kind, I'm afraid I won't be letting you go yet. We've much to talk about."

"Like what?" Draco asked a little suspiciously.

"Let's start with the pleasantries. Did you sleep well?"

"Oh." Draco started, surprised at the simple question. "Yes, thank you, I slept quite well. How about yourself?"

"I slept fantastically well in fact, thank you for asking. I suspect having been rather exhausted helped. So did the warm body in my arms though." Harry answered with a grin.

"That was quite nice." Draco found himself admitting a little shyly.

"It was, wasn't it?"Harry said and smiled. "How do you feel this morning then? Any soreness?" While asking he ran his hand down the side of Draco's body and to his bum, gently squeezing his cheek.

"It's fine. I used a spell." Draco replied evasively, not really wanting to talk about that.

"Really now... there are better ways, you know? As handy as magic can be, after a bit of rough sex there's nothing better than a hot bath."

"Yeah well, I didn't really see how that would be possible. Besides I was in a hurry."

"I did notice. I'll make you a deal, we are in the Room of Requirement, if the requirement is to have a bath, we'll get one. But... you are going to have to drop that mask completely. We need to do some honest talking to figure out how you feel about what we're doing. I'm not going to even try if I have to deal with a Malfoy."

"What if I don't want you to help?"

"Draco... we've been doing this a few times now. You're learning more every time and thus dealing with it better but you need to actually figure out how you feel about it. Do you want to continue or not? How far are you willing to go? I don't think you'll be able to quite do that on your own. Besides, after last night I figured you need someone you can actually share things with. I'll be that person if you want me to."

"Bloody..." Draco didn't get any further as Harry clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Do not insult me, I will not take kindly to it," he said with his voice low and dangerous.

Draco glared at him but stayed quiet even when Harry removed his hand.

"This is the exact reason why we need to talk. You still fight me at every turn. I can make you drop your mask by pushing your far enough, whether it be with a spanking or sex. But you can't seem to do it yourself, why is that?"

"Of course I can, I am in control of myself!"

"Then drop it now. Because if you don't, I won't put up with you much longer." That said Harry sat up and got out of bed. Focusing on an empty corner of the room he asked the room for a bathtub that would fit two. Moments later it appeared, filled with warm water. He went over and tested the water, finding it to be the perfect temperature and he knew that, thanks to the wonders of magic, it would stay like that as long as it was needed. Turning back to Draco, he looked at him questioningly. "So what will it be?"

Draco sighed. He knew that Harry had a point. With all that they had done it made perfect sense to actually have a proper conversation for a change. He also knew it was true that he had difficulty dropping his aristocratic behaviour and being just Draco. Which was exactly the problem now; he'd woken up thinking like a Malfoy, it was routine now after doing it all his life. He needed to find a way to drop it but wasn't sure how. Turning his mind to the night before he tried to remember how he had come to drop it then. But the memory that he kept returning to, was of just before they went to sleep. "Did you mean it?" He then asked, looking at Harry worriedly.

"Mean what?" Harry asked, unsure of what exactly Draco meant.

"When you... offered me your friendship."

"Yes, Draco, I did mean that," Harry answered honestly, walking back towards the bed and sitting down on the edge, looking at Draco. "When you're not being a Malfoy you're actually quite a nice person."

"And the other thing? About... falling in love?"

Harry smiled reassuringly at Draco, sensing how worried he was. Reaching out with one hand he caressed Draco's cheek gently. "I meant that too. The more I see of the real you, the more I like you. In time, like can turn into love. It's just a shame I still don't get to see you without your mask much."

"I am trying."

"I know, pet. And you've done well so far. I'm pleased with your progress. Very pleased in fact. I just keep pushing you because I know you can do even better. It will take time though. One step after another."

Draco smiled gratefully at that.

"So how about this bath then?"

Smiling shyly Draco nodded. When Harry smiled back and held out a hand he took it and let himself be pulled out of bed. They walked to the bath and got in with Harry sitting behind Draco, his arms wrapped around the blonde's waist.

"This is much better than a spell, is it not?" Harry asked, placing a gentle kiss on Draco's shoulder.

Draco just nodded, leaning his head back until it was resting on Harry's shoulder. "Feels wonderful." He said a content smile, forming itself on his lips.

"Good, let's get down to business then. How do you feel about last night?"

And just like that the smile on Draco's lips was gone again, replaced by suppressed frustration.

Harry bit back his chuckle, knowing it wouldn't help Draco. And considering he had much to ask, he didn't want to annoy Draco too much just yet. When the silence stretched on he started tracing a finger over the frown that formed on the blonde's forehead. "Share your thoughts with me. It'll help." He encouraged gently.

"I'm not even sure how to put it into words though..."

"Try... maybe start with the part of the evening you're thinking about."

Draco shook his head, it was too difficult.

"Right, let me guess then. Is it about you kneeling before me?"

Relieved he didn't have to say it out loud, Draco sighed and nodded.

"So what appears to be the problem? Last night you said you're scared about what your father would say if he knew. Is it still that?"

"No... well yes, a little but not really." Draco paused, realising he wasn't exactly being clear. "I try not to think about my father's reaction. As long as he'll never find out it doesn't matter. So it's not really that but... it's myself."

"Yourself? I don't think I understand..."

"See? Neither do I!"

"Are you saying you're scared of your own reaction?"

"Kind of... in a way."

"But, Draco... you're in charge of how you react to your own actions. How can you be scared of yourself then?" Harry asked gently, trying to understand and make sense of what Draco could mean.

"But that's it. I can't really seem to control it. It's like I've no say over myself anymore... When you took my control... you took it well." Draco sighed painfully, shrugging helplessly.

Harry frowned, thinking about Draco's words. "Would that be Draco who doesn't have control? Because Malfoy displayed his control rather well last night..."

"I was born to be the Malfoy heir. I was raised to be in control. Of myself, my actions, my emotions, everything. It's not something that can be turned off easily."

"But you have managed. And when Malfoy is gone, Draco comes out... and he doesn't know how to act and what to think because he never really got the chance to before. Am I right?"

Draco shrugged.

"So you're scared because you don't know what to think about your actions last night?"

Smiling a little wryly, Draco nodded.

"Oh dear..." Harry sighed. "I thought a lot about what your reactions to my advances would be. Came up with all sorts of potential scenarios I could encounter and thought of ways to deal with them. But this... I've never imagined anything like this!" He paused to think for a moment. "Is it just your thoughts or are you confused about emotions as well?"

"Oh... just the thoughts ...I think." Draco answered with obvious confusion.

"OK, so if we try and look at how you felt? Might that work?"

Draco shrugged. "We could try, I suppose."

Harry smiled encouragingly. "We will try until we achieve something. So... let's start easy, the spanking. How did you feel about that?"

"It hurt."

"Good, what else?"

"It hurt more?"

"You were hard again fairly quickly afterwards..."

Draco couldn't stop the blush, spreading over his cheeks. He tried to hide it by turning his face away but Harry wouldn't let him.

"This is part of what I like about you, Draco. Your honest reactions. Never hide them from me." He spoke softly, caressing the side of Draco's face with one hand. "So the spanking...?"

Closing his eyes, Draco thought back to the night before. "I enjoyed it. The beginning. Then it hurt. A lot! Afterwards when you... when you held me, I liked that."

Harry smiled happily. "Do you like it when I hold you in general?"

Draco bit his lip but then nodded, turning his head sideways to look at Harry shyly.

"So you like being held now too? How does it make you feel?"

It took Draco a moment to answer, less because he didn't know what to say and more because he needed to find the courage to admit it. "Safe, content... kind of protected."

"And do you think any of that is wrong?"

"No." Draco answered without hesitation.

"Good, very good." Harry said and pressed a kiss to the top of Draco's head, it being the only part he could really reach. "So back to last night then... After the spanking, you liked it when I held you. What happened next?"

"You know! You were there."

"We're trying to get you to figure out how you feel. That means talking about it, Draco."

The blond sighed but spoke. "You made me sit on your lap. Felt like a bloody child at first, one that's being chastised at that. But then... well... when you vanished your clothes... I wanted to do that. I wanted to show you I could be better than the last time."

"I like how shy you can be. You can say that you gave me a blow job, you know?" Draco crunched up his face, making Harry laugh. "Go on say it. I believe I mentioned before that I like you being vocal."

Knowing he couldn't win against Harry, Draco sighed in defeat. From previous experience he had an idea what it was Harry wanted to hear. "I liked giving you a blow job. I wanted to taste you again."

"Well done! You're learning well." Harry said with obvious delight. "But now comes the best part. Without quite realising it, you kneeled down to give me that blow job..."

"I hated seeing myself like that." Draco immediately replied, knowing Harry would make him answer anyway and finding that if he just answered without thinking about it, it was easier. "I got really angry with myself. I literally saw red but I just forced those feelings away. I'm good at that."

"When you repressed those feelings, what was left?"

"Nothing. I didn't think about it, didn't allow any feelings. I just reacted and did what you asked."

"And now, if you think back to when you were kneeling before me, how do you feel about it?"

Draco stayed quiet for a long time, glad that Harry didn't push him but just held him, his hands caressing his stomach where they lay on it. The touch was reassuring and helped him stay calm. After a while he started tracing lines over Harry's arms with his hands, finding it helped to focus his mind. When he eventually spoke it was with some agitation. "It's so difficult. I just feel so confused and it's like I can't figure it out. A part of me still thinks it's not right while the other is saying the opposite. It's like you're making me be two different people with conflicting thoughts and emotions!"

"You've always had two sides to you, Draco. It's not me who is making you be like that. Though I may have helped you realise."

"But how can I be two people in one?"

"Every one of us has different sides. I act different depending on whether I'm with you or my friends or teachers or somebody else. The side of me that you see, is not a side anyone else gets to see. At least not to it's full potential. Even my best friends don't know quite how dominant I can be and how kinky I like to be. As for you, it's the other way around. I'm guessing I'm the only one who has ever seen you submit."

"I'm sure you're not as confused about your emotions though!"

"No, but I've had my whole life to try and figure out who I am. At least in a way... my story isn't quite straight forward but we're not here for that. Your story is quite different. From day one you were taught how to act, how to speak, how to walk. You were trained to be only the Malfoy heir, forgetting entirely that you are more than that. You never got the chance to be Draco so of course now that you do get the chance, you don't quite know how to be him. When I was first told I was a wizard, I didn't know the first thing about it. I had to learn a lot and adapt to it. You're at that point now, only you're not learning to be a wizard but how to be yourself without the constant pressure of being the Malfoy heir."

"You make it sound so... normal... and easy."

"Well... I'm not saying it's easy but it'll be worth it."

"Hmm..." Draco murmured. "I can never stop being the Malfoy heir though."

"And you don't have to. I know that once we leave this room you will put your mask back on and that'll be it. It's when you're with me that I expect you to drop it. When you're around other students you will have to live up to your reputation and I will live up to mine and be disapproving of you and all things Slytherin. We will make arrangements to meet occasionally and that's when things change. At least if you can admit you want this."

Draco stayed quiet, trying to figure out if he could say it and what an admission would mean.

"You did enjoy yourself last night, right?"

After a moment's hesitation, Draco quietly said, "Yes."

"And the previous times we met?"

"Yes."

"Do you think you would still enjoy yourself if there was a next time?"

"Yes," Draco whispered.

"So, do you want to do it again?"

"I think so."

"So you will willingly submit to me?"

Draco opened his mouth to answer but then stopped. "What? No... I..." He helplessly struggled to find the words, his mind once again getting shrouded in confusion and mixed thoughts and emotions.

"I've asked you this before and we've come even further since... You've already submitted to me, you might as well admit to it," Harry said gently but also teasingly.

"I... I don't think I can. It's too soon, I'm not ready," Draco cried, trying to pull out of Harry's touch.

Harry just tightened his hold on the blond. "Don't try to run away again. I won't force you to say it. Though, why you can't say it yet, I don't quite understand, considering you've definitely acted it."

"I need time," Draco insisted.

"Fine, you will get time. Once we leave here you will get a few days to think about it all. Like the last time, I won't be seeking you out but that doesn't mean you can't come to me to talk if you need it. Alright?"

Draco nodded, relaxing a little and leaning back to rest against Harry's chest again.

"Good. Now... I wonder if you remember the deal we made..."

Closing his eyes at the memory, Draco nodded. There was no doubt he remembered.

"So if you remember it, do you realise that I won?"

"Yes." Draco sighed.

"And why did I win?"

"I..." Draco faltered, finding it difficult to admit his own defeat, especially considering the circumstances. "I let you control me." He managed to say eventually.

"Interesting phrasing..." Harry noted cheekily, knowing how difficult this would be for Draco to admit. "If you had won it, I believe I would have had to stop any and all advances. What was my reward again? You seem to remember it so well, why don't you remind me what the deal was?" He asked teasingly.

Draco groaned in frustration but knew he had no real choice but to answer. "If I could resist you for a month you would leave me alone."

"And if you couldn't resist me?" Harry pushed, smiling teasingly.

"If I couldn't resist you, you would have me where you wanted me..." Draco trailed off, his voice getting quiet towards the end.

"Yes that's right!" Harry chuckled, pretending to only just remember. "So what does that mean for where we are at now?"

"You have me where you want me, alright! Stop bloody teasing me about it already!" Draco said a little angrily, glaring at Harry, who just kept smiling at him calmly, thereby increasing his annoyance.

"I'm not teasing you Draco." Harry said at length, his voice calm and reassuring, immediately soothing some of Draco's temper. "I'm trying to get you to understand."

"Understand what? That I'm your toy now? Thanks, but I already got that."

Harry chuckled at Draco's choice of words. "I hadn't thought of you as my toy but I do like the idea," he teased. When Draco's glare intensified and he could tell the blond would either try to run or attack him he wrapped his legs around Draco to hold him in place then used one hand to turn Draco's face towards his. Then he leaned in and brought his lips closer to Draco without quite touching. "You're only my toy because you want to be." He whispered calmly.

"Never." Draco said but the fight was already slowly leaving him again.

"I could not have got you here if you didn't want it. Besides, you just admitted you wanted this again and while you're still refusing to say that you submitted to me, you know you acted like it and we both know actions speaker louder than words."

"I'm still a Malfoy!" Draco said, trying to fight Harry, yet knowing he was being silly.

"I told you, there's a time and place for everything. When you're with your house, they expect you to act a certain way. That's when you behave like the Malfoy heir. But when you're with me, in this room especially, there is no place for him. Just be yourself, be who you really want to be. Be everything that the Malfoy can't be."

Draco stayed quiet, letting the meaning of what Harry just said sink in. "I'm not sure I know how to do that." He said after a long time.

"You'll figure it out." Harry just said confidently, smiling down at Draco. After a moment's silence he noted, "this is how I like you most." Then as an afterthought he added. "Except for post-orgasmic you that is..."

"Like what? Naked and in your grasp?"

Harry winked at Draco for that reply but then said, "just the right mixture between confident and shy, cheeky and humble, and even a little bit of bold. But most importantly: honest. The Malfoy side of you would never admit to being unsure about something. Sadly enough!"

Draco smiled shyly at what he took to be a compliment.

With a grin Harry slid further down in the bath and had Draco turn around so they were lying chest to chest. Wrapping his arms around the blond again he ran his hands over his smooth back, enjoying the feeling of the smooth skin. When Draco moved his hands to return the favour and stroke his chest and arms Harry let out a sound that was almost a purr. "This is heaven."

"I like it too." Draco admitted quietly.

"What a day, eh?" Harry said as his mind drifted back over the morning and previous evening. After a long time he broke the comfortable silence between them thoughtfully. "Imagine that... not only did you kneel before someone and effectively submit to them, it also happens to be a half-blood, who might be falling in love with you..."

"Hmm" Draco murmured, letting the words sink in before he replied. "The only thing which could possibly make that come close to being alright, is the fact he happens to be the most famous wizard ever..."

Harry laughed out loud at that. "Now you can be thankful for all the times we fought. If it weren't for them, I might start wondering if that's why you give in to me. Maybe you think I'll be the next most powerful wizard... Trying to get in early to make yourself my number one servant."

"Trust me, there is no way I'll be your version of a Death Eater!" Draco said, with a hint of disgust.

"How reassuring." Harry giggled.