Thank you to FrankElza, , beth and DramaComedySoapRealityFan for reviewing, your support for this story means so much and I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Also I apologise for the delay in updating, I've recently had my November exams and have been weighed down by revision and assignments :

TRIGGER: this chapter contains self harm and eating disorders/body image, if you feel you may be affected please don't feel like you have to read.

Chapter 20:

He stood up and hurried to his room and shut the door, forgetting to lock the door. He felt his breathing quicken and his heart was pounding in his head. What had he done

Brax sighed as he watched Casey run back to his room. No one should get so stressed over eating a sandwich, especially Casey who was probably the most laid back person he knew. He felt like crying as he stood up and went into the kitchen and put the empty plate in the bin.

"You okay?" Ricky asked, leaning against the wall. Brax leaned against the sink and looked out the window. "Yeah" he replied softly. "You know this is the first step" Ricky commented. "The first step to what?' Brax asked more forcefully than he should have.

"The first step to Casey's recovery. He needs you to be strong Brax, because he's going to need his big brother" Ricky explained. "You think?" Brax asked, turning round to face Ricky. "I know."

Casey paced his room, trying to calm his erratic heart rate. What the hell had he done! He felt sick, he was going to throw up, he was shaking; shivering. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't feel his legs. What was happening?

He stopped pacing and stood in front of his mirror, sweaty hands clutching his hair. How had this happened! He stared at his body, wanting to pull his top up but didn't want to reveal his stomach.

How disgusting it was. How abnormal it was. Reminding Casey of how stupid he'd been. He started pacing again, his breaths coming out in gasps as if someone had pressure on his neck. He felt his heart pound in his rib cage and was sure he was going die. He could hear his breathing get louder; what if someone heard?

Failure. Weird. Not good enough. You're got good enough. The voices were getting louder, his heart was beating so fast Casey was sure it would just give up. He couldn't concentrate properly, he felt sick; his legs felt like they were about to go underneath him.

He stopped pacing and put his hands down on his bed to support himself. He looked in one direction and one direction only. His bedside table. He'd never considered doing it before now, it had never been needed. Until now.

He stumbled in that direction and opened the drawer. There sat the opened packet of razor blades. He stared at him them for what felt like forever. Then, he gathered up the strength and took a shaky hand, reaching into the drawer he took out a razor blade.

He held in his hand squeezed it, letting the sharpness of it be felt by his palm. He stared down at his hand for a moments, before gripping the blade between his fingers and bringing it up to his bicep.

With a shaky hand, erratic heart rate, a sweating forehead and trembling legs, Casey pushed the blade into his arm. He breathed a sigh of relief as he brought the blade across his arm, then made three more cuts underneath the one he had just done.

In that moment, all the voices stopped. The taunts and the insults stopped. Casey could breathe. He could see clearly. Everything slowed down around him; he felt the the pain ripping through the his arm and it felt good.

Casey dropped the blade and leaned against the wall. He knew what he'd just done was wrong but he could breathe now, and he could think clearly. Some blood trickled down his arm and he grabbed the old t-shirt under his bed from last time, to stop the bleeding.

He let his heart rate get back to normal and his breathing even out. He bent down and picked up the blade, putting it back in the opened packet and placing it back in the drawer. Looking down at his arm, he examined the cuts. They weren't that deep, they'd heal.

"Hey Heath, you got a second?" Brax asked, stopping Heath as he tried to leave. "What's up big bro?" Heath asked, knowing exactly what Brax was going to ask him about. "I need your help with something."

"What?" Heath asked. "I need you to help support Casey more" Brax said. Heath scoffed. "Brax, you know I'm no good at this caring brother thing." Brax sighed. "I know you're not, but I also know that you do actually care."

Heath looked down at the floor, not able to look Brax in the eyes. He hated feeling this awkward. "So what are asking me to do?" Heath asked. "Just support him, encourage him." Heath sighed. "And how do I do that?" Brax smiled. "Just follow my lead."

Heath shook his head before walking out the door. Brax smiled and turned back to the tv. He knew Heath would come round eventually, or in the end he might have no choice.

Casey had calmed down significantly since he cut and no he knew what he had to do next. Exercise. He began with press-ups, counting up to 50. He then turned over and did some sit-ups, again 50.

He then ran on the spot for a minute, did some star jumps for a minute and finally sole bench presses using his bed. He repeated this over and over again.

His mind raced as he exercised but he couldn't hear the thoughts. He wouldn't hear the thoughts. He'd worked too hard and no one could stop him now. Brax didn't understand why he had to do this.

Well Brax knew exactly why he had to do it. Casey moved onto sit-ups and continued to think. Brax could see exactly what Casey could see, he could. He just didn't have to the guts to tell Casey to his face.

And then there was Heath who Casey knew couldn't give a toss. Heath couldn't care less about Casey, and that was fine with him. He ran faster on the spot, knowing he needed to channel his feelings a little bit differently.

Brax couldn't concentrate on the tv show playing in front of him, instead he was thinking about Casey. He wanted to involve Casey more in things, maybe then he would open up more to him. But he had what he could do.

The only thing they could really do as family was exercise and surfing. They probably weren't the best things to do with Casey. He could ask Heath when he got back, after all he wanted Heath to be more supportive.

Heath kept realigning along the beach, allowing the sound of the waves to fill his head. It wasn't that he didn't want to support Casey. He did. But he didn't know how. Brax was always the one who'd help them, not him.

And in all honesty, he was scared. Scared because he knew nothing about what Casey was going through. He was scared that he'd say the the wrong thing and then Casey would backtrack or someone the progress he'd made.

He kept walking and then decided that he wasn't getting anywhere, instead he was just over thinking everything. He turned back and walked home, prepared for what Brax was going to annoy him about now.

Casey had been working out for half an hour. He had sweat running down his face and there was a slight pain in his chest, maybe his heart. But nevertheless he kept going, he had to; needed to.

"Hey Heath, I need to ask you something" Brax said as Heath walked back in the house. Heath sighed, guess he could predict the future. "Yeah what is it Brax?" He asked. Brax made his way through from the kitchen and stood in front of Heath.

"I'm thinking of involving Casey more with us" Brax states. "Okay? What does this have to do with me?" Heath asked, not really sure where Brax was going. "I was wondering if you had any ideas?" Brax asked.

"Why don't you just ask Casey?" Heath asked, thinking he was stating the obvious. Brax looked at Heath and smiled. Then everything clicked in place for Heath. "Oh Brax come on!" Heath exclaimed, realising what Brax was saying.

"Go on" Brax said, still pushing his idea. Heath sighed. "Is this what you mean by more supportive?" Heath asked. "Part of it", Brax replied. "Now go."

Casey stopped and stood in front of his mirror, sweat running down his face and his breathing fast. He took a few deep breaths and then took his top of. He stared at his body. He ran his hands over his ribs, they were visible and his stomach was flat; but it still wasn't good enough.

Heath sighed as walked down the hall to Casey's room. He stopped in front of Casey's door, all sense of knocking forgotten, and walked in. "Casey, Brax was wondering- Casey!" Heath exclaimed, staring at his younger brother's thin form.

"Heath!"

Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed, please review and let me know what you think :)

See you next chapter :)