Chapter 19: Returned
6th of October 2010, 9:00 AM, Former seat of the Vampire King, Manhattan, New York
Pain, that is what Xander felt, that was what he deserved, and he knew it. Pain was all Xander knew, it was what he lived. If you where alive in Hell.
How long Xander was there he did not know, did not care, he deserved every second of it. And he knew it.
The pain always came in the form of heat, unbearable heat, such heat that Xander's very soul was on fire, which it probably was. It never went away, it was always there, he never got used to it.
Until it stopped. The heat was suddenly replaced by cold, unbearable cold, but it did not hurt, instead it consumed.
It took a while for Xander to realize that he was lying on a stone cold floor, naked. Looking around he found some clothes neatly folded. Clumsily Xander dressed himself and looked around, seeing someone appearing out of nowhere. Just then he realized that he was not in Hell anymore.
"Will someone explain what the hell just happened?" Xander exclaimed when the woman was fully materialized. With a jolt Xander recognized the woman as no other then Tara Maclay.
"Hello Xander." Tara said as in welcome. "You have just been saved from the fires of Hell by my superiors." Tara continued.
"And who do you work for? Wolfram and Hart?" Xander asked distrustful.
"Why is it that everyone asks me that? Do I look like I work there or something?" Tara said in an annoyed tone.
"Resurrecting people sounds like something they would do." Xander said with a shrug turning away from Tara.
"True, but no, I work for the Powers that Be." Tara said.
"That is rich." Xander said in a huff, seeing a stone on the ground, he picked it up and threw it to Tara. Tara not reacting in time was hit by the stone, or she would be if the stone did not go straight trough her.
"Powers that Be, eh? You got promoted? I know who you are, you are not Tara, you are the First Evil, just drop your facade already, it is not as though I can go anywhere." Xander said while he started pacing and getting more annoyed by the second.
"No, I'm not. I did not even know I was incorporeal, turns out I'm some sort of ghost." Tara said in an almost pleading tone.
"You can't play those tricks with me, I faced you before, I know all your tricks, so stop denying it already and tell me what you want!" Xander said now truly annoyed.
"Okay, think of me what you want Xander, but I assure you I am who I say I am. But this is not the place and time to discuss such things." Tara said and sat down before she continued.
"You are back because the world is on the brink of chaos. Time is about to end, and you are the only one who can stop that from happening." Tara continued.
Xander stopped pacing and gaped at Tara. "You want me to go and stop an apocalypse? Isn't it your goal to start one? Or is this not one you had planned?" Xander said incredulously.
"Xander, I don't want this apocalypse to happen as much as you don't want it. Even if I was the First Evil. If time ends, the First Evil will not exist anymore either. But I'm not the First Evil. I'm an agent of the Powers that Be, and the Powers don't want time to end either." Tara said in a voice that said that Xander should not mention the First Evil again.
"Still the question stands, why me?" Xander asked. In his opinion there where probably a lot of people in a better position to stop apocalypses then he.
"You are in a unique position. You must return to Buffy and Willow, and help them in anyway you can." Tara said.
Buffy and Willow? Xander thought. How could he ever face them after what he did? He would probably be killed on sight, not that would be a bad thing he thought as an afterthought.
"So you just resurrected me to throw me into the lions den?" Xander asked sarcastically.
"Lion's den?" Tara asked clearly confused.
"Okay, a little history lesson then, you remember that I was the Vampire King? You remember what I did to them?" Xander asked incredulously.
"Yes, I do. I believe I dealt with the tail end of that recently." Tara said looking pointedly at Xander.
"So you know that sending me to Buffy and Willow is equal to sending me into a lion's den." Xander said getting annoyed again.
"If you explain to them you have a soul and that you are human they will forgive you." Tara said full of confidence.
"No, they shouldn't forgive me, they should never forgive me. That is the last thing I deserve, their forgiveness." Xander nearly yelled.
"True, they probably won't. But they will hear you out and help you." Tara said in a calm voice.
"You don't understand Tara, I can't face them, I can't do that to them. You have no idea what I have done to them, no idea what I have put them trough. No idea what I did to... O god, Dawn!" Xander said and sagged on the ground. What had he done?
"I loved her, and I violated her in the worst way. She only remembers me as a monster, she will never forgive me for that." Xander continued miserably.
"you have done some horrible things in your vampire days yes, but that was not you, that was the demon inside of you." Tara said calmly.
"Is that the excuse Angel uses? Does that even work?" Xander asked, just realizing what a hard time he used to give Angel, but now he understood, understood completely what Angel must be going trough every day.
"You can't hope for forgiveness, words don't do much in this case. But actions can speak volumes. Pick up the good fight, Buffy and Willow will gladly help you." Tara said ignoring what Xander said. "In return I will help you, I will be your liaison to the Powers that Be. I will give you assignments within your power. At the moment you have to be there for Buffy and Willow." Tara continued.
"Alright" Xander said standing up and finally seeing where he was, and seeing he was exactly where he was when he got dusted. "I believe my car is just outside, if the slayers did not wreck it by now." Xander said.
Tara looked strangely at Xander at this, but did not comment.
When Xander came outside he saw that his car indeed had been wrecked, together with any other vehicles he had under his control when he was the vampire king. "Well, here ends my adventure, unless I walk all the way." Xander said hope failing.
"And that is why I'm here Xander." Tara said with a small smile while she put her hand on his shoulder. The feeling was strange and convinced Xander that Tara was not the First Evil. Her touch was soft and warm, but he was sure he would still go straight trough her if he moved.
The next moment Xander was standing at the old high school where Buffy and Willow used to work just three weeks ago. Reflecting on it Xander was amazed how much had changed in just three weeks.
"Do you have any other cool super powers?" Xander asked while he started walking trough the ruins towards the house of Buffy and Willow. A path he had often driven with his car the last four years.
"Many Xander, but I will only use them in dire circumstances, this is your party." Tara answered while she followed.
When Xander approached the house of Buffy and Willow he was having second and third thoughts. What was he going to say? What was he going to do? It was not to late to turn around and run. Steeling himself he rang the bell.