A/N: I don't have much to say today. I should be finishing an english paper but i decided to post this chapter instead. Thank you for all the reviews. I love hearing what you have to say. I know i'm horrible with writing back, but as i've said before your reviews always put a smile on my face :) I hope you enjoy this chapter, and if you have any suggestions for future chapters, or stuff you'd like to see happen between Leah and Jake please let me know in your review or PM! I'd love to hear from all of you!!!! You are all the best readers ever!!!!! I really hope to hear from you!!!
xoxo
Eclipse Babe
PS: Twilight and it's characters dnt belong to me, as much as i wish they did!

Chapter 20- Yesterday's Feelings

The next morning Jake and I wake up to a usually glum day in La Push. I've had nightmare after nightmare, and barely slept two hours. While getting ready, I look at myself in the mirror and sigh. I look like a mess. I comb my hair and put on make up to make myself look at least halfway decent.

It's not that I don't have faith in the pack, I've just never had a vampire so close to me that I don't know what they're after. Being pregnant and not able to phase makes me scared for myself and more importantly my unborn baby.

All throughout breakfast Jake and Seth are talking about the new schedule, and Mom and Charlie are having their own conversation, leaving me there staring into space, worrying about what a vampire might want from me. I was literally driving myself crazy with worry.

I clear the table for Mom, and begin washing dishes when the doorbell rings.

"I'll get it," I say as I dry my hands on a dish towel, desperate for a destraction.

I open the door slowly to see Sam standing on the other side. When he registers it's me, his smile changes. He looks more cautious.

"Hi, Leah, is your Mom here?" He asks me cautiously, like he's waiting for me to explode.

"Yeah, she's in the kitchen with Charlie." I say as I lean casually against the door frame. "Why, what do you need?"

"Is Jake still here?" He asks.

"Yes, he's in the kitchen also. Why?" I ask as I fold my arms across my chest.

I watch his eyes drop to my chest and he shifts uncomfortably. I've always been well endowed but being pregnant makes them even bigger. The way I cross my arms, I know makes them even more desirable. He gulps audibly and his smile strains.

"I need to umm… talk to uh… Jake about the new schedule and we need your mom to supervise since she's an experienced elder."

"That's fine, come in. They're both in the kitchen," I say as I step aside so he can come in.

"Emily will be here in a few minutes," he says as and afterthought while stepping into the house.

I feel him tense up as I step in front of him as we walk down the hall to the kitchen together.

"You smell different, good, but different," he whispers.

I look back at him and roll my eyes.

"It's because I haven't been phasing," I spit out as if it should be obvious.

"Oh, I didn't know that. Why haven't you been phasing?"

"It's really none of your concern," I say snidely when we reach the kitchen. "Well, there they are," I say gesturing to the table. He nods his head and I walk back over to the sink.

Charlie greets Sam, then excuses himself from the table to go to work. On his way out he stops next to me and places his hand lightly on the small of my back.

"Don't stress about him too much. It's not good for you and the baby. I'll see you after work." he whisperes with a smile.

Sam's head shoots up when he hears the word baby, but he goes back to talking with Jake, Seth, and Mom as if nothing has happened. I smile at Charlie and walk him out.

"Yeah, I'll try. See you after work," I say as I close the door and head into the living room.

I turn the TV on to CNN and sit there listening to it as background noise while I watch as the snow begins to fall again. Minutes after Charlie leaves I see a white blur out the window.

What was that? I think.

Seconds later the doorbell rings again. I get up to answer it hoping it's just Emily.

" Hi," she says with a warm smile before she realizes it's me. When she takes off her hood, exposing her deeply scared skin, she sees my face and her half smile becomes pained.

"Oh, hey, Leah," she says meekly.

"Hey, Emily," I say and I gesture her inside.

"Thanks, Leah. I didn't know you'd be here. I'm glad to see you and your mom are talking again," she says as she hangs up her coat.

"Yeah, I saw her at the hospital, and she invited me to stay for the weekend."

"So does this mean you're coming back?"

"We don't know yet."

"Oh, you and Jake are a package deal now?"

I nod and walk back into the living room with Emily trailing behind me.

"So are you going to come down for your Dad's memorial service next weekend?"

I shrug while tiding up the coffee table. Next Saturday marks two years after my Dad's passing and my turning into a wolf, the whole tribe chose to pick that day to honor all the tribal elders who have passed.

"I don't know yet. I guess I should be there. Both of my parents were on council, and so is Billy. If I don't go Jake won't either. So yeah, I'll probably be there. Are you going?"

She nods, "My husband is on the council," she says with a small smile.

I roll my eyes, she just couldn't resist throwing that dig in.

"Yes, that very well may be, but my fiancé is next in line to lead the tribe," I say with a sarcastic smirk of my own.

"Fiancé?" She asks.

I nod. "Yes, Jake proposed to me last week. We're getting married in April."

"So soon! Well, that explains the glow. Why didn't you tell me!?" she exclaims.

"We weren't exactly on speaking terms. I didn't even know we were on speaking terms now." I answer honestly.

"Elle, you're my cousin no matter what. You know I'm sorry about everything that happened. I couldn't help it, I tried but…"

I hold my hand up to stop her. "I know. Now that I imprinted too, I understand better. I'm so sorry I made you cry on your wedding day. I acted extremely immaturely. Can you forgive me?" I ask.

She nods and pulls me into a tight hug. "Of course I forgive you. Elle, I love you like a sister. You're even closer to me then my own sister. Well you used to be anyway. But that's in the past now. Let me see your ring," she squeals.

I hold out my left hand and she holds my hand in her's.

"Ohmigod! It's beautiful. This thing must've cost a fortune. When's the wedding again?"

"April 25th."

"So soon. Do you know when you're going dress shopping? I definitely want to come!"

"No, I want to wait as long as possible so that I don't have to worry about alterations."

"Why would you have to worry about that? You can always take the dress in if you need to."

"Taking in isn't what I'm worried about."

"Why would you have to worry about gaining weight?"

" I haven't been phasing."

"So what. You've always been thin, you just got toned when you started phasing. If anything you gained muscle weight."

"Yeah, about that…"

"Hold up, you're not phasing and you went to the hospital, you're not sick are you?"

I shake my head, "No, I'm not sick."

"No way! Now you're worried about alterations, Elle, are you pregnant?" she whisper yells.

I blush, all the confirmation she needs.

"Leah, I didn't even know you could have kids! I'm so happy for you! Congratulations!" she exclaims and hugs me tight again.

"Thanks, Emm," I say with a smile, "So how was your wedding? I'm sorry I wasn't there."

We go on for the rest of the morning talking about her wedding, and mine, and planning for the baby. We talk as if we were never mad at each other… the way it should always be between us. When the guys and Mom are done in the kitchen they come and join us.

"So what have you girlies been talking about?" Jake asks as he walks into the room.

"I told her," I say with a grin.

"I'm glad you did. We have to get ready to go to Dad's. I'll go start the car. Meet me outside when you're ready." Jake says as he helps me up from my seat next to Emily.

"That sounds like a good idea. Tell Sam I'm outside waiting," Emily says before she gives me a hug goodbye.

"Ok, let me just get my bag and put my shoes on," I reply as I walk into my room.

I pick up a pair of heels from the closet and my bag that matched. I take one final glance at myself before I leave the room.

As I turn my head around, I bump into Sam and got knocked off balance, he grabs my arm so that I don't fall.

" Lee-Lee are you ok?" He asks.

I shake my arm out of his hold and look at him like he's scum.

"I'm fine, and don't call me that," I spit out. I turn to leave but he grabs my wrist and spins me around to face him.

"Don't walk away from me, Leah. We need to talk."

"What do we need to talk about?" I ask and he tightens his grip when I start to shake myself out of his hold. "Let go of me, Samuel, you're hurting me." I growl.

He lets go but backs me up into the wall using his arms as a cage around me.

"Lee-Lee, I never meant to hurt you. You know that, you've been inside my head. You know I'm telling the truth. It's just now that we've both imprinted I think we can love each other again."

"I can't let myself get hurt by you again. I gave everything to you, and you threw it back in my face when you left me for my cousin. I was heartbroken, I still am. Jake is just now helping me get over that and keep going." I say and a tear slides down my cheek.

He places one hand lovingly on my cheek and wipes away the tear with the pad of his thumb.

"I never meant to hurt you, and now that we can love each other the right way, I promise I'll never hurt you again."

"Don't promise me anything, you've never kept a single one," I say and I hold his hand in mine and slide it off my face.

"I'm so sorry about that, Lee-Lee…"

"I said don't call me that."

"Leah, I love you. I always have and I always will, it's just different now."

"I know."

"And now you're getting married and having a baby. Lee- Leah, it feels so weird that it's not me sharing these precious memories with you," he says and he grabs my left hand with his right. "It's so weird to see his ring on your finger."

"I love him, Sam."

"And I love, Emily with all my heart. It doesn't mean I don't care for you though. I still love you, it's just a different kind of love now," he says and he lowers his face to mine and breathes out. When his hot breath reaches my face it sends a shiver down my spine.

"We can't do this, Sam, it's not fair to them."

"What they don't know won't hurt them. It'll only happen once."

"But, I'm pregnant with Jake's child, that doesn't bother you?"

"You're still beautiful," he says and he runs a hand through may hair tucking a loose strand behind my ear.

He lowers his lips closer to mine, but right before they can connect I push him away.

"Sam, this doesn't feel right," I protest.

"Shh… just let it happen, Lee-Lee, we both need this closure" he whispers into my ear.

With that I give in. Our lips connect hungrily, then the kiss becomes more passionate. His tongue slowly traces my bottom lip begging for entrance. I open my mouth and our tongues move together in a well rehearsed dance. As the kiss becomes more needy I slowly pull away and lean my head against his chest.

Being in his arms makes me feel safe and at home again. His smell is like my safe haven. The perfect blend of cinnamon and pine, always makes me feel warm and comfortable. It's not as good as Jake's sandalwood and cream smell, but it's safe. Just like our kisses. Safe.

Though that kiss will never be spoken of again, it's honestly what we both need. Closure to know that we are both loved and being cared for.

We both go silently outside to join our imprints, and part to separate ways.

Later that night Billy takes the news great, as do Rachel and Rebecca who we conference call in. I almost completely forgot about the vampire scare we have going on. Almost.