Chapter 20

A/N: Back so soon? Why yes! I didn't even give you guys time to miss me lol. Sorry that was cheesy. My sleeping schedule is jacked. Exams kind of wrecked me, and if I want to be able to wake up for my 8 am classes next semester, I've got to fix this sleeping thing now. Hence, the sleep deprived productivity and oversharing. All products of the all-nighter I'm trying to pull, so excuse any grammar mistakes and inconsistencies. This was done in delirium. Enjoy!

When you're an adult, like I am beginning to figure out, I am, life comes in waves.

There are peaks and hollows.

Like last week, when I told my boyfriend of all of a month, whom I've only known for about two and half months, to give up his life in Paris and move to LA to be with me.

Major peak, huge risk, massive high.

I guess, that's how it's supposed to feel—realizing that you've fallen for someone—and no rational, logic, or time invested matters, because feelings don't always equal minutes. And it's the greatest feeling in the world.

But then you come down, and the feeling is still there, a steady lulling constant that pulls at you, but you realize the depth of what you're feeling, the size of the steps you' re taking, and you panic a little.

Old insecurities creep in.

There's a safety in recovery. Recovering from a break up is like a broken leg. It keeps you from putting pressure on the injury, from diving back in full throttle. Liam and I were tumultuous, painful, and unstable, but I loved him, and I could never see past that love in the moment. And I could reassure myself that it's not the same with Ryan, but I'll never know until I know. So, I put pressure on that leg, and I'll have to wait to see if I feel pain, and that scares the hell out of me.

That's the hollow.

That fear has been present with me all week. And life went on, as it does. The world kept spinning, Forrester was nuts with shipment and orders riding the success of Intimates, Kelly had her first fever which scared the crap out of me and Liam. Hope and Liam's wedding was buzzing about the office. I was working with Raven and Ryan, preparing the press release to announce our merger, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and praying that it didn't.

I couldn't carry that tension to Liam and Hope's wedding.

I'd already been asked, "Are you alright?" with that stupid sympathetic frown by my dad, my mom over facetime, Amelia when she came to sit with Kelly, and Raven.

Ryan didn't dare ask, or maybe he was scared of the answer.

I hoped he wasn't.

"I'm glad you're here with me." I smiled, as I laced my fingers through his. We were seated in Brooke's foyer, waiting for the couple so the proceedings could begin. "Not that I couldn't handle being here by myself, or that I need emotional support because I'm upset. I'm just happy you're here."

"I'm glad I'm here too." He smiled. "And you really don't have to edit everything you say to me."

"I know." I said. "I'm really not trying to. It's just everyone is acting weird, and overly concerned for me. A lot of eyes are on us and I don't want you to be uncomfortable or like we're putting on a show, even though it seems like that's what some of these people are expecting from me by the way they're staring."

He chuckled. "I know what we are Steffy, and I know all about you and Liam. I understand the stares, and I don't feel any type of way about it."

"What are we, exactly?" I asked.

"What?"

"I'm just curious, because we were dating and you are my boyfriend, and then I asked you to move here and abandon your company and entire life—"

"And its freaking you out because…?"

"I don't know. It's just not something ordinary people do at this point in a relationship."

He leaned his head closer to my seat.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I think you're pretty extraordinary, and I'm well above average myself if I'm being modest, so this seems right for us, don't you think?"

I grinned. "I am extraordinary, and you my humble date, are pretty extraordinary yourself."

"Great, now that that's out of the way, maybe you can stop overexplaining your every statement to me, and I can enjoy this ceremony. I happen to love weddings, I'll have you know."

"You do?"

"Why wouldn't I? There's food, cake, dancing. Its two people standing up in front of their friends and family, being brave and saying 'This is it. I've found my person. I'm closing up shop, there's no other fish out there for me.' What's not to love?"

I scoffed. "Maybe in your family. In mine it's more like 'I found someone I love unconditionally, unless any of the following happens, and then we insert the conditions that will most likely lead to divorce."

"Okay cynic, just try to keep those remarks to a minimum."

"I'll try." I winked. "No promises though."

Then the music sounded, and we rose to watch the bride descend the stairs.

The ceremony was very Hope and Liam; she wore her mother's dress, Wyatt was Liam's best man, Brooke spoke of love and destiny, and Hope and Liam wrote personal vows that were admittedly, very sweet. It was traditional, rather standard, no surprises, no motorcycles or ziplines or shocking black dresses.

Again, not hating on their day. To each his own, but I like a little flare. Maybe when Ryan and I—woah, too far, I don't know why I thought that.

"Hey." Hope had been making the rounds and hand landed on me. "I was hoping we could talk."

"Of course." I said, and we tried to find some privacy.

"I just want to thank you for coming and for being so great about all this. I know things with us haven't always been great, and most women in your position would resent me and this child for how it all happened. I guess what I'm trying to say is I admire your strength, and I really do want us all to get along and be a family. I want what you want, for our kids to have each other and be close like you and Phoebe were, and I know it might take some work but I'm really hopeful."

"I meant that. I want Kelly to have that relationship with your daughter. I don't want to continue the animosity our mothers have, and I glad you and Liam are happy. I think it's time we all find our happiness."

She smiled before her attention snagged on Charlie, bring out the cake.

"Oh, and Hope." I called, before I completely lost her to the wedding cake high. "Congratulations."

(At the same time, at another spot in Brooke's Foyer.)

Ryan's POV

Liam and I weren't great.

We weren't friends. We weren't anything.

I couldn't blame him. Though, he was getting married today, his feelings for Steffy were still there. They probably always would be, considering everything. He loved them both and that's something I had to deal with.

He had to deal with the fact that Steffy ended their relationship, I was with Steffy now, I was in love with her and none of those things were ever going to change.

Suffice to say, we were never going to be friends.

I tried not to step on his toes, tried not to be around him too much, tried not to make it seem like I was taking his place in Steffy's life, in Kelly's life, but sometimes he still saw it that way, that couldn't be helped, and I couldn't fault him for that.

I still tried to extend the olive branch as much as I could. I didn't stay away from Kelly, because she was adorable, but I followed Steffy's lead and made sure Liam knew that I respected his place in Kelly's life. That was a must for me, and an unspoken understanding between us.

But we would never be more than acquaintances.

That's what I thought, until he strolled up to me.

"Hey, man." He said.

"Hey."

"So, listen, Steffy wants us to be friends; me, her and Hope, for our kids and I figure I should try to include you in that friendship because she seems pretty sure about you."

"Thanks." I guess.

What the hell was I supposed to say?

"Listen, it's not my place, and Steffy would be beyond annoyed at this patriarchal handing over type thing, and I don't like the way if seems either so I'm just going to say it. She's been through a lot, and I'll admit, most of it because of me, so if you ever hurt her—"

"You never have to worry about that man."

"And—Just, I'm happy she found someone who makes her happy. If it couldn't be me, I'm glad it's you. We'll work on it, we've got time. But I guess, what I'm saying is welcome to the family."

"Thanks man. I promise, I don't take that lightly."

"Okay. I'll see you around."

Steffy's POV

After the cake cutting and customary smashing and pictures, Ryan could not be found with a slice of cake in his hands. There was nothing more attractive than a Ryan with frosting on his lip.

"Did I see you talking to Liam?"

"Yeah, we're good. We might even be friends. Not now. Now is still kind of awkward, but later."

"Look at you, making friends."

"Whatever. You should really try this cake. Pam is good. This is the best cake I've had in a while." He held his plate out to me.

"Okay."

I leaned up, sweeping the frosting off his lips with my own, reveling the sugary taste.

"Mmm, what is that buttercream?"

"Yeah, and they did vanilla, but there's something lemon-y in here."

My boyfriend, the chef everybody.

"I'm more of a red velvet or chocolate guy myself for future reference, but this is pretty good."

"I'll keep that in mind."

And just with that one day, and those many little moments, the wave peaked.

A/N: A long chapter, hopefully it wasn't too all over the place.

So, the Ryan and Liam moment; I personally hate when guys act all territorial over a girl and make everything seem like a handoff or a transaction. My feminist sensibilities were screaming as I wrote it and I pretty much just wrote it in there that the patriarchal society thing is pretty annoying, but I wanted them to have a come together moment forming this 'everybody's cool with the 'stepparents'/ 'significant others' and make a blended family unit' thing. I know it crapped out in the show, but I thought what they were trying to do was pretty cool.

Also, I wanted to write something where Ryan understands how it must feel for a dad separated from his family, to feel stepped on or replaced when new relationships blossom. I know Liam hasn't had to deal with that in the show, and I don't know if he ever will, considering the cycle, but myself being inexperienced with that I hope I did it justice.

I've mapped it out, and I'm thinking around 5 more chapters before this story ends. Thanks for sticking with me. Until next time… :-)