Ties that Bind

Mysterious Tower

Day 14

Roxas

Roxas heard a soft rustling from somewhere near his feet after his friends' footsteps had faded into the distance. Too exhausted to sit up, he continued to stare blankly at the ceiling. After a moment, he felt a light pressure on his legs and Xion's face swam into view above his own; her eyes were red and puffy, as was her cheek where Roxas had struck her. The sight made him feel absurdly guilty. Hesitantly, he reached upward and brushed his thumb across the reddened, swollen skin in apology. He had no doubt that she would bear a magnificent bruise.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I shouldn't have done that."

Xion smiled wearily and placed a hand over his own, holding it against her cheek.

"No… you did what you had to," she said gently. "I wasn't… I don't know. I wasn't myself. I was convinced that… well… that I was about to lose you. I did the only thing I could think of to prevent that, but… now that I think back on it, it was kind of silly, wasn't it?"

"It was," agreed Roxas weakly. "You scared the daylights out of me. I thought… I thought that I was about to lose my best friend… again." His eyes had begun to burn. He wiped at them feebly. "I… I couldn't…" He trailed off into silence, unable to continue. He became aware that he was crying only when Xion reached up and tenderly brushed the tears from his cheek.

"You've… remembered?" she asked quietly.

Roxas, unwilling to test his voice, nodded against her hand.

Xion smiled uncertainly.

"Would you… would you like to hit me again?"

Roxas shook his head. His lip trembled.

Xion smiled sadly and pulled him into her arms, hugging him tightly. Roxas buried his face in her shoulder. He suddenly felt as though all of the pain and loneliness he had been forced to endure since Xion's untimely death had finally reached the point of overflowing; as soon as he felt the warmth of her arms about him, his last vestige of restraint crumbled and he found himself sobbing unashamedly into her robes.

"Wh… where did you go?" he managed between choked sobs. "Why did you just leave like that? I was l-l-lonely without you, idiot. I didn't… there were so m-many things I wanted to tell that I didn't… that I never…"

Xion tenderly ran her fingers through Roxas' hair, silent.

They sat embracing on the floor for a long time, Roxas' occasional cough or sniffle the only sound in the otherwise silent room.

"… I'm sorry," said Xion quietly when Roxas seemed to have exhausted his tears. "I acted as I did because I thought that having you destroy me was the only way to prevent your heart from being absorbed into my own. That was the last thing I wanted. After that, with your memories… I knew that they would fade with time, so I just… accelerated the process. I didn't want you to have to live with pain of-"

"… didn't work," murmured Roxas into her shoulder.

Xion blinked and looked down at the top of his head.

"Didn't…?"

"I don't… I don't know what happened or… what went wrong," said Roxas, sitting upright and wiping at his eyes, "but… I don't think that I ever truly forgot about you completely. I would have… dreams, I guess. I recognize them now as fragments of the memories from the time we spent together before… you know… so I don't think whatever you did worked… at least not completely."

He sniffled and wiped at his eyes again.

"Actually… didn't… didn't Yen Sid say something about that?"

"Yen Sid?" replied Xion sourly. "I wouldn't be surprised at this point. When was this?"

"I dunno… maybe it… oh, it was right after we met each other for the first time after waking up. He had this long-winded monologue about the memory situation, I think. And then…"

"'Ties of the heart are not easily severed,'" supplied Xion thoughtfully. "Makes it sound like he knew about that as well…"

Roxas made a noncommittal noise in his throat.

"Dunno… but… this is real, right? Not another one of those dreams?" He reached out and squeezed Xion's shoulders as if to affirm her existence. "I'm not… I'm not going to wake up and find that you're still-"

"Roxas," interrupted Xion gently. "I'm real. I'm not going anywhere." She leaned forward and slipped her arms around Roxas' neck. "… I promise."

They stared into each other's eyes in silence.

"And that's why..." she continued after a time, "I'm sorry… I'm sorry, Roxas… for everything I've done to you. I acted under the pretense of selflessness, but I was really… really being selfish. I had no right to take your m-memories from you. I realize that now." She looked up at him tremulously. "Can you… can you forgive me? If not, I understand… I'll just…" She trailed off uncertainly.

Roxas considered her, unsmiling.

"No."

Xion flinched as though he had struck her.

"No… because that would mean admitting that you acted deliberately to hurt me. That's silly. I agree that some of your decisions have been… questionable, but I don't believe for one second that you would ever knowingly do anything that would bring me pain. You acted unknowingly and with good intentions; that makes what you did a mistake. Did it hurt? Yes. It hurt a lot. Tremendously. But, like I said back at the clock tower…"

Roxas reached up to brush the tears from Xion's cheeks.

"… I think it's alright if friends hurt each other sometimes."

Xion looked into his eyes for the briefest of moments, lip trembling, and then she collapsed against him with a wail of release, sobbing incoherently. Roxas smiled and stroked her hair as he held her, gently rocking side to side. He felt as though he could almost see all of her pain and heartache being carried away by her tears as she cried into his chest; it was a release, he knew, that she had desperately needed.

Roxas couldn't have said how long they had sat there; he thought, perhaps, that he might have begun to doze off, for he was suddenly aware that Xion, having cried herself into exhaustion, was now sleeping peacefully, curled up against his chest. The sight filled his heart with an inexpressible feeling of warmth and contentment.

"Xion…" he said quietly. She mumbled a sleepy complaint and nuzzled closer against him.

Roxas smiled and gathered her up into his arms.

They were halfway down the ruined staircase, now brightly lit by hovering plumes of sky-blue flame that had undoubtedly been conjured by Yen Sid, when Xion groaned and opened her eyes. Roxas glanced down at her, grinning.

"Morning. Sleep well?"

Xion smiled sleepily. "Of course. But… waking up was the best part."

"Hm? Why's that?"

When she didn't reply, Roxas looked down and found her gazing up at him, smiling tremulously.

"Because I know. I know, when you look at me like that… that you remember me," she said simply. "And it makes me feel complete. Whole."

"So does that mean," teased Roxas, "that you'll never try to mess with said memories again? Like if you say something embarrassing and you want to erase-"

Xion affected a scowl and feebly punched his chest.

"No, idiot… it means… well….… it means that we'll have to… make more."

She blushed furiously.

"… We will," agreed Roxas, smiling to himself. "I promise."

Unchained: End

Rvs: 2.0