CHAPTER TWENTY

It was weird, it really was, but for some reason, Beca hadn't felt so calm in a very long time. She knew that, given their current situation and what she now knew about Jesse, she should be having the complete opposite reaction to everything that was happening but there was something strangely…therapeutic about watching the movie with him in his apartment, in his hoodie, with a juice pouch in her hand; in other words, there was just something comforting about being surrounded by Jesse and although she wasn't quite sure why and didn't particularly want to question it, she was just glad that things were back to normal.

Sort of.

As the movie had continued, Jesse had slowly returned to his usual, laid-back self but there were still moments where she'd catch him staring off into the distance in the middle of the movie [which was pretty unheard of for him, considering how captivated he usually was by them], an undecipherable expression on his face, or moments like right now when the movie was drawing to a close and they had both reached into the bowl precariously balancing on his lap at the same time and he had accidentally grabbed her hand rather than popcorn and—

"—Oh god, I really didn't mean to do that, I swear," he said hastily, looking everywhere but at her as he instantly retracted his hand, his movements so fast that he managed to send popcorn flying everywhere in the process. "Oh god," he repeated, with a groan, his eyes wide as he stared at the now popcorn-covered floorboards and even though she knew that it was totally inappropriate, she just couldn't help it; he was looking so dazed and confused and lost that…she had to laugh.

Jesse swung his head around to look at her, his expression still one of complete horror and embarrassment at what had just happened, but it wasn't long before she could see the corner of his mouth twitching involuntarily, his eyes crinkling, and he collapsed into laughter as well. They sat like that, simply staring at one another, both of them getting closer and closer to full-on hysterics when, thanks to him shaking so hard, the rest of the bowl fell off his lap as well.

"Well done," she managed to say dryly between gasps of laughter as even more popcorn ended up on the floor and the bowl clattered around the hard wooden planks before finally coming to a stop with a resonant bang, "Well done."

He shook his head at her, still laughing, as he stood up, brushing off stray bits of popcorn from his jeans. Once he was done, he moved to pull out the vacuum cleaner from one of the cupboards, beginning to clear up the mess.

"Do you need me to do anything?" Beca asked, as she slowly walked over to him, making sure not to stand on any bits of popcorn, as he started it up.

"No, don't worry, it's okay," he said, gesturing for her to sit back down with his free hand, before he caught her eye and his expression became distinctively guilty as he added, "Besides, this is all my fault anyway."

She frowned.

"Jesse…" she said, hesitantly placing a hand on his arm, the action causing him to stop vacuuming for a second as he turned to face her, his eyebrows raised slightly in surprise. "It's not your fault. Like I said before, don't...don't overthink things," she told him, fixing her gaze on his face as she gripped his arm a little tighter, hoping that her words got through to him because she was really starting to hate the awkwardness that now existed between them.

As he didn't say anything in reply, still looking unbelievably guilty, running a hand through his hair, she took a slow step towards him, mentally bracing herself as she uttered the three words that she never thought she would say to anyone out loud again:

"I trust you."

He stared at her, his expression quickly becoming indecipherable as his eyes bore into hers and she swallowed, shifting a little on the spot, her instinct telling her that she should retract the words — take them back before anything bad happened — but she forced herself to take a deep breath, stop thinking so hard and instead, focus on Jesse...and as the seconds passed, her eyes locked on his, she started to feel a little calmer.

What she had said, it was the truth; he had proven time and time again that he had her back and...she just knew that he wasn't going to hurt her, wasn't going to do anything to make her feel uncomfortable. As Chloe had so succinctly summed it up yesterday, he was Jesse.

"Jesse, I trust you," she repeated slowly, her hand still gripping the upper part of his arm, the words falling from her mouth marginally easier than they had done the first time.

He stared at her a little longer, his eyes searching her face for a second, before he simply nodded at her once without saying anything; instead, he just slowly started up the vacuum cleaner again as he resumed his cleaning up but this time, she could see the distinctive outline of a smile on his face. She shook her head lightly as she watched him walk around the room; once again, he had shown just how well he knew her, shown that he knew exactly when to push her and when not to, shown that he understood that what she had just told him was a big deal without her even saying anything.

As he started humming absentmindedly to himself under his breath, Beca still left to her own thoughts, she recalled the promise she had made to herself the week before last, the week before her world had turned upside down, and she vowed that she would carry it out: even if it was hard and unnatural for her, she would try her best to make things even and put herself into a position where she knew him as well as he knew her.

It was only fair, after all.

Today was really not going the way Jesse had thought it was going to go but he definitely wasn't about to complain or question it. Not only was Beca actually in his apartment, talking to him, after a week of absolutely nothing but there were little things, things that he didn't even think she was aware of, that gave him hope that they'd eventually be more than okay despite the inevitable awkwardness that still lingered between them; little things such as the fact that she had actually offered to watch a movie with him, the fact that she had given him her juice pouch to open, even though she had protested every time he had done it for her in the past, the fact that she was still wearing his Treblemakers hoodie, its size engulfing her, and, of course, the fact that she had just told him, to his face, that she trusted him.

Okay, so maybe he couldn't exactly categorise that last thing as being 'little' as he could instantly tell from the way she had swallowed, looking like she wanted to bolt, that admitting that she trusted him had been no easy feat for her and as he continued to stare at her, slightly blown away by her confession, he vaguely recalled what Chloe had told him all those weeks ago after he had dropped off her 'apology' coffee to Beca, and he smiled: she just finds it hard to trust people, especially guys.

They would get through this...rough patch.

He was sure of it.

"Hey, Beca, do you want to go and grab some lunch?" he asked, as he finished cleaning up the last bits of popcorn, glancing over to where she was standing before recoiling a little in surprise when he saw that she was staring right at him, her brow furrowed, her gaze a little unfocused. "Beca?"

She shook her head, seemingly coming to her senses, as she slowly gave him a smile and a nod. "Sure," she said, "Lunch sounds good."

He shot her a grin in response as he stowed away the vacuum cleaner again and began pulling on his shoes and, after a moment's hesitation, she wordlessly did the same.

"Are you okay?" he probed, as he led her outside of the building and towards one of his favourite Italian restaurants around the corner, Beca still silent by his side, looking like she was deep in thought. Clearly, admitting that she trusted him was an even bigger deal than he had initially assumed and, if this was Luke's fault [which, by this point, he was ninety-nine per cent sure it was...but then again, maybe he was just being biased], he was going to do his absolute hardest to make sure that they were never alone in the same room again.

"I'm fine," she replied, falling into step beside him as she stuck her hands into her pockets […or his pockets? After all, it was his Trebles hoodie so—okay, Jesse, that's really not the most important thing to be thinking about right now] before slowly glancing up at him, a myriad of emotions crossing her face as she took a deep breath, an action that made him frown immediately. Damn Luke.

"Jesse…tell me about yourself," she eventually said, looking suddenly uncomfortable, but she kept her eyes on his face all the same.

He blinked.

Uh, what?

"Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Jesse?" he eventually quipped, not really sure where she was going with the whole thing but deciding that he definitely needed to lighten the mood. He promptly stuck his hand out towards her as he continued, smiling triumphantly as she blinked once, twice, and then shook her head at him, rolling her eyes, stubbornly refusing to shake his hand, no matter how many times he waved it in her direction, "As you can tell, I'm awesome, like the best. My likes include, uh, cheese, hailstones, compasses—"

"—I'm being serious, you weirdo," she cut in, as he started listing the most random things he could think of, edging towards him just a bit so that she could elbow him in the ribs. Jesse glanced down at her, a satisfied grin appearing on his face as he noticed the way she was biting her lip; a sure sign that she was trying her hardest not to laugh.

"Okay, okay, what do you want to know?" he asked, holding the door open for her as they arrived at the small restaurant, leading her towards one of the empty tables near the back.

"I don't know," she replied, with a shrug, "Anything, everything."

Jesse raised his eyebrows a little as he sat himself opposite her, leaning back in his chair, waiting for her to explain further because her request, it had come out of nowhere and to be honest, he wasn't quite sure what to make of it.

"I just—I don't know, I feel like you know me a lot better than I know you and I…" she trailed off, making a vague gesture with her hands as she stared down at the menu in an attempt to avoid his gaze and he blinked again, taken by surprise.

He wasn't quite sure what he had expected her to say but that definitely wasn't it.

"Hey, come on, that's not true," he said quickly, instinctively reaching out a hand to place over hers in reassurance, before pulling it back when he was just a few millimetres away from making contact…and then he remembered what she had said to him about not overthinking it and with a slight grimace, he reached forward again, slowly – and hesitantly – lowering his hand onto hers, glad that she seemed to be too lost in her thoughts to have noticed his major faux pas.

As he made contact, she instantly glanced up at him, a look of surprise passing across her face but she didn't move her hand so he didn't either. "Look, I'll tell you what, we'll play a game," he said, leaning across the table slightly, locking his eyes with hers, and he couldn't help but grin at her involuntary scowl at his use of the word 'game'. "Oh, wait, I'm sorry, I forgot you don't like fun things…" he added, as casually as possible, laughing as she instantly slipped her hand out from under his, reaching over to poke him repeatedly in the shoulder, mock-glaring at him.

"Take that back," she said, returning back to her side of her table, crossing her arms, and he opened his mouth to reply but before he could get any words out, a waitress appeared to take their order and he shrugged at her, pasting an innocent smile onto his face. She just rolled her eyes in response, placing her order with a slight shake of her head and he did the same.

As soon as the waitress was gone though, it all started again. "Take it back," she repeated, her voice hard, though the corner of her lips was quirking upwards and Jesse knew she didn't really care whether he took it back or not…but, ten minutes later and she was still stubbornly insisting that he took it back so he eventually conceded to her request, pulling a face as she gave him a victorious smirk:

"Fine, fine, I take it back," he said, holding his hands up in surrender, a smile on his face, glad that they were still, sort of, able to tease each other this easily, "You, Beca Mitchell, you are the master of fun things, no-one knows how to enjoy themselves like you do…"

"And don't you forget it, dork," she replied smugly, still smirking up at him as she leant back into her chair, "Now, come on, tell me about this game of yours..."

"Okay, we take it in turns to ask questions," he told her, "You can ask me anything you want to know about me but in return, I get to ask anything I want to know about you."

Beca raised her eyebrows at him as soon as he finished speaking, crossing her arms once again as she gave him an incredulous look and he just stared back, unfazed, still smiling at her. "That sounds like a terrible game," she remarked dryly, "Actually, I don't even think you can call that a 'game'."

He shrugged. "Oh, I'm sorry, I guess not everyone can be as fun as you, Beca-the-master-of-fun-things," he said, his eyes wide as he mock-pouted at her, causing her to roll her eyes at him again as she quickly reached out to jab him in the shoulder as she asked – no, begged – him never to call her that again.

"Hey, you were the one who wanted me to acknowledge it," Jesse replied, holding his hands up in mock-surrender, a grin on his face, "But, seriously, are you in?"

"You're an idiot," she told him, with a shake of her head, as she tore her eyes away from him momentarily to accept the food that the waitress had just brought them, "So…I can ask you anything?"

Jesse nodded as he took a mouthful of food, surprised at just how hungry he was…but then again, he guessed he hadn't exactly had anything to eat since last night [the popcorn didn't really count, considering he had – stupidly – spilt it everywhere in his panic]. "You can ask me anything," he confirmed with a nod, once he had swallowed, "But I get to do the same to you."

He frowned, narrowing his eyes slightly as Beca considered his words, looking suddenly uncomfortable, shifting in her seat as she stared at her food, absentmindedly moving it around her plate, and with a jolt, he realised that maybe he hadn't worded his 'game' as well as he should have. [Okay, Beca was right, it was a lousy game…but whatever, he was sure it would serve its purpose just fine.]

"Beca, I'm not going to ask about…you know," he said slowly, vaguely, not really sure what the best way to approach the situation was. She glanced up at him, a look of confusion passing across her features and he sighed, running a hand through his hair as he clarified, "The 'Luke' thing...?"

She stared at him, looking more than a little taken aback by his words and he narrowed his eyes, wondering whether he had read the whole situation wrong. "I know you won't," she replied slowly, meeting his gaze, the hidden meaning behind her words clear in the warmth of her eyes – I trust you – and he smiled in response.

"I'm in."

Beca wasn't quite sure how this 'game' of Jesse's was going to go but she guessed there was no harm in playing along; after all, she was the one that had brought up wanting to know more about him in the first place and besides, she knew that despite Jesse saying that it would give him the chance to ask her 'anything', she…trusted him enough to know that he wouldn't go anywhere near the whole Luke situation with his questions.

"Do you want to go first?" she offered, in between taking another mouthful of her food, keeping her gaze locked on his...before eyeing him suspiciously as he nodded, a mischievous grin appearing on his face as he started thinking of a suitable first question to ask her. "Oh god, I'm going to regret agreeing to play your game, aren't I?" she asked, groaning as he did nothing at all to appease her fears but instead, grinned that little bit wider at her…and though it pained her to do so, she found herself grinning back. As she had learnt over these past weeks, Jesse was just infectious that way.

"Okay, I'm ready. Here's your first question: brace yourself," he said, still grinning stupidly at her, "Beca...What's your favourite movie?"

She rolled her eyes.

She really should have seen that coming.

The dork.

"You can ask me absolutely anything and that's the first thing you want to know?" she asked him, raising an eyebrow and he just shrugged in response.

"Hey, movies are awesome, okay?" he said, with a shrug, laughing as she just rolled her eyes again, "Answer the question, Beca."

She pursed her lips, thinking hard, trying to think of a movie she had actually enjoyed, not too surprised when the only ones that came to mind were the ones that she had watched with him...but even out of those, she couldn't say that she had enjoyed any of them; no, what she enjoyed, it was listening to Jesse's endless stream of [useless] facts, watching the way he mouthed the words, smiling at how his eyes lit up in response to a particularly dramatic scene.

"Wow, question one and you're already stuck," he said, a look of amusement on his face as he watched her visibly struggle to come up with an acceptable answer before he eventually decided to help her out a bit, "It's okay, don't worry, I already know what your favourite movie is."

She blinked.

"You do?"

He nodded confidently and she frowned, narrowing her eyes at him as he leaned towards her. "It's clearly the Star Wars movies," he said conspiratorially, his voice hushed, "I mean, I saw how much you wanted to take my stormtrooper cut-out home—"

She rolled her eyes, instantly hitting him on the shoulder – Jesse and his stupid stormtrooper – before falling into deep thought again, still trying to think of a suitable answer to give him and eventually, she came up with one:

"The Breakfast Club," she told him, quickly shaking her head as Jesse immediately asked her why she had picked that one, a look of surprise on his face, "No, it's my turn."

He mock-pouted at her, eyes wide, but she just shrugged, telling him that it wasn't her fault that the rules were this way…although, honestly, she couldn't care less about the rules. The truth was, she was just buying some time before he inevitably asked her why she had picked 'The Breakfast Club' when it was his turn because she didn't quite know how to say out loud that she had chosen that movie in particular because it had been the movie that they had watched during their first 'official' moviecation, the first time she had realised just how much she valued his company, without making things awkward again.

But she'd think of something.

She had to.