Disclaimer: I don't own it
Hey people. ummm not much to say *rocks back on heels* so here you go...
ETL: Chapter 19
BPOV:
The first week was hard. Edward and I had spent weeks together every second of everyday and then we were forced to stop cold turkey.
I went back to work that Monday and cried when I walked into my office. I know I scared Marnie and Chris, but I couldn't bring myself to care about them. I listened to a lot of the Cure and My Chemical Romance for the week and tried my best to act happy when I talked to Edward.
I knew he could tell I was faking it, but he didn't bring it up..
By Friday, I was going crazy Chris had a meeting with a big band so I was running errands all day. I was happy for the distraction. I was in a hurry to get the conference room set up so that I could leave early and head out to Port Angeles.
"Wow speedy gonzalas, what the hell is going on?" Chris laughed as I quickly plated cookies from the local bakery on a platter.
"I'm just trying to get all of this stuff done." I replied as I sat a bucket with ice and sodas at the end of the table.
"Oh you're going to see lover boy?"
"Yeah." I blushed.
"Marnie and I are so happy that you're smiling now. I'm not going to lie when you first started here you had the enthusiasm of a squash." I quirked my eyebrow. "Now don't get an attitude, you warmed up after a while. A long while."
"Thanks Chris. I'm going to take that as a compliment I think." I smiled.
"Well when you first got here this week, we thought you were back in your zombie faze. Marnie thought we were going to have to have you committed when you cried when you walked into your office. But you bounced back and we are so glad that you're here with us."
"Thank you Chris. That really means a lot to me." I said. "No you need to get out of my hair so that I can get this stuff done and head out to Port Angeles."
"Why don't you go ahead?" he asked as he snatched the plastic cups out of my hand.
"No, I'm not going to let my relationship screw with my job." I took the cups back.
"Bella, you do know that you're supposed to respect your superiors right?"
"Yep, and when Marnie comes in, I will respect her." I teased.
"You are so fired woman." he laughed. "But I'm serious, I want you to leave right now. I will finish setting up for the meeting."
I started to protest, but he took my arm and shoved me out the door. "Goodbye Bella, drive safely see you on Monday."
"Good bye, Chris love you too." I yelled as he slammed the door in my face.
Laughing the entire way I walked to my office and grabbed my purse before practically sprinting out to the building to my car. The entire drive up to Port Angeles, I was shaking with anticipation.
Angela laughed saying that I was going through Edward withdrawals, because every time he would call I would start shaking and when I was waiting for him to call, I would fidget. It was true I missed him a lot. I missed his smiles, and his eyes and the way it felt when his arms were around me.
I had trouble sleeping at night without him so I would snuggle with Angela in her bed. The only awkward thing was after the first night we woke up and I had my leg hitched over her hip. That was the first time I cried from embarrassment. Angela remedied that by placing a body pillow between the two of us so that I couldn't 'molest' her while she slept.
When I drove past the Port Angeles city limits sign, I could automatically feel a change in the air. It was calmer, but still filled with the intense electricity telling me that Edward was close. I rode the elevator up to his floor practically jumping up and down.
Edward opened the door and pulled me into his arms and for the first time in a week I felt whole again. He made me dinner and we cuddled on the sofa watching a movie until we both fell asleep. The rest of the weekend flew by, we went to a beautiful lake and watched the snow just being together and after we got home, we made love.
Waking up Sunday morning was hard. I woke up before Edward and watched him sleep. His lips were slightly chapped from our nightly activities and his hair was wild and unruly. I wrapped my body in the sheet and sat at the window letting a few tears escape silently.
"Hey beautiful." I heard from the bed causing me to jump.
"Oh you scared me." I blushed.
"Are you okay?" he sat up.
"I don't want to go." I crawled up on the bed and wrapped my arms around him.
"I don't want you to go either." He whispered holding me a little bit tighter. "But I'm going to come see you on Friday, as soon as I get off work I am going to head straight to Seattle."
"I know but still."
"I know baby."
I drove back to Seattle in the same state that I was in leaving Forks. I kept trying to tell myself that this was a good thing. At least I had Edward, even if it was only on the weekends or over the phone. I also told myself that I wasn't going to let the separation get to me.
I was going to go to work and hang out with Angela like the old days and spend my nights talking to Edward and waiting for the weekend. I wouldn't let zombie Bella return, no matter what.
Angela was waiting up for me when I got home. As soon as I swung the door shut ,she stood up smiling kindly. "So how was your weekend?"
"Great we went to a really pretty lake and sat on the dock." I started.
"You didn't freeze your ass off?" she laughed patting the seat next to her.
"Well it was really cold, but I never wanted to leave." I breathed.
"Are you okay?" she patted my leg.
"You know what I am." I lied.
"Sure Bella." she frowned.
"Alright to tell you the truth I am sad, really really sad. But I am not going to let it get me down. I'll be okay I promise."
"Does that mean I get my bed to myself now?" she asked innocently.
"Sure. So when is Ben supposed to be back, have you talked to him?" I asked her.
"Well actually he is going to be home in a couple of months. They got what they needed out of him so as soon as all the paper work is done, he is going to be home." She smiled.
"I bet you're excited."
She nodded smiling dreamily.
I realized that I had been super selfish lately. I was crying and moping about being away from Edward for a few days and she hadn't physically seen Ben for almost a year and a half and she was worried about my well being.
This realization caused me to start crying and pull her into a strong hug. "I'm so sorry Angela." I cried.
"What are you apologizing for?" she started crying as well.
"You haven't seen Ben in forever and your listening to me cry about not seeing Edward for five days." I sniffled.
"Hey now. Calm down its fine. Ben and I knew that the separation was going to be hard. We have been together for ever practically where you and Edward have only been together for a few short weeks. Ben and I had a year to prepare before he had to go to Iraq, where as you and Edward only had the weeks that you were together to get ready to be apart.
Don't you dare feel sorry for me Bella. Ben will be home soon and I will have him permanently, but you and Edward are hours away from each other until the weekends." she told me.
"Thank you Angela."
We stayed up later, then we started talking about when we were littler. I told Angela about seeing Jessica at the golf course and how she had married Eric and they had Edmund.
"You're kidding me right?" she laughed loudly with a mouth full of chocolate ice cream.
"She used to be so in love with Edward. God I can't believe I let her walk all over me in high school." she cried.
"Yeah you were kind of like her lap dog until Lauren started." I laughed.
"Oh god, I hated her so much, but I was so happy when she came."
Angela went to bed first stating that she needed to get up early in the morning to run errands, so I called Edward to say goodnight.
"My sheets smell just like you baby." he groaned.
"Well you're just so sweet. Hello to you too." I giggled.
"I can't wait till Friday."
"Me neither. I was thinking that instead of you staying here with me at Angela's, we could get a hotel room so that it won't be awkward."
"Sounds perfect."
We talked for a few more minutes and I told him about Ben coming home in a couple of months. We said our goodbyes and I walked down to my bedroom. I lay in bed hugging my pillow and thinking about Edward.
Being away from him was painful and lonely, but there was nothing that either of us could do to make it work. I could never leave Chris and Marnie and he loved his job so we were stuck three hours away from each other.
I don't know how I fell asleep, but the next thing I knew, the alarm was going off and my phone was ringing. I hit snooze and picked up my phone.
"Hello?" I grumbled.
"Good morning beautiful." he chuckled.
"Morning handsome." I smiled.
"I wanted to call and talk to you for a few minutes before you had to go to work."
"God, if I knew you were calling, I wouldn't of set my alarm clock." I yawned.
"And why is that?"
"Because your voice totally beats the sound of my alarm clock."
"Alright, but what if I wake up late? Then you would wake up late."
"Yeah yeah yeah."
"I just pulled up to my building so call me when you take your lunch alright?"
"Of course. I love you." I breathed. These conversations were starting to get old already.
"I love you too baby. Bye."
"Bye."
I stretched out like a cat before jumping into the shower. I dressed in a pair of old torn jeans and my favorite Beastie Boys t-shirt, finishing off the look with my most worn in pair of converse. Angela was gone before I made my way upstairs so I left her a note telling her I would pick up milk and dinner on my way home from work.
I walked into the building and Marnie was sitting at the desk. "Hello smiley." she laughed as I walked across the lobby to her.
"Hi yourself. What's going on today?" I asked.
"Well nothing really, we have a couple of bands coming in to record so we need the studios set up with water bottles and that's about it. So why are you so happy?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh yeah what bands?"
"Don't change the subject Swan. How was your weekend with lover boy, hotty mc hotty?" she asked.
"Wonderful of course." I blushed.
"Well that's why you are all smiley, someone got laid."
"Marnie, I don't think that is proper work conversation." I choked out.
"Damn girl you almost said that with a straight face." she laughed. "Go get the studios set up and I will come visit you in your office."
"Fine." I stomped away.
I went to the kitchenette and grabbed a case of water out of the closet. One of the first things I learned when I started at Rock Gods was that singers do not like cold water, only room temperature. I walked into the studio and turned on the lights.
The cleaning crew kept the studio hospital clean. I sat a few water bottles around the room, by the mics, and by the instrument stands before heading back to my office. I stopped by Chris's office to get his order for lunch and found Marnie sitting on the couch in my office.
"So spill it girly." she patted the spot on the couch.
I sat down next to her. "I had a really good time. We went out for breakfast, we went to a lake, yes it was really cold. We froze to death laughing about the good old times. We went home and had hot chocolate and then we had really hot sex in bed. I woke up the next day a little bit sad because I didn't want to leave and he felt the same way, but we promised that we would see each other on Friday so I came home." I said in one breath.
"Okay B, breath." Marnie laughed.
"Wooo-sahh. Sorry I just had to tell Angela already and really wasn't in the mood to talk about it again."
"Sorry, I was just curious."
"No, its fine. I'm just trying not to be sad while I wait until Friday and it's causing me to kind of be a bitch. I'm sorry."
"Hey! it's all good I would probably go crazy living hours away from Chris." she patted my knee. "You already alphabetized the records?"
"Yeah I was bored and got it done in a day."
"Well Chris and I love having you here. Even when you're not your happy self. I'm going to go get some work done so we don't all lose our jobs." she laughed.
"Let me know if you need any help. I'll be here."
She gave me her lunch order and headed back out front.
I spent the rest of my day filing stuff away, picking up lunch for everyone and went to buy some groceries for the kitchenette. I listened to a few records, updated my Ipod and said goodbye to everyone before picking up some hummus and pita bread for Angela's and my dinner.
Edward called me to tell me goodnight before he went to bed and I realized that I had forgotten to call him when I went to lunch.
"Edward I'm so sorry, we had a few bands that came in to record and it just totally slipped my mind."
"It's fine baby."
"No you can tell me that I suck."
"No I'm not going to tell you that because I love you."
"Alright." I grumbled.
"Baby, as mush as we want to talk to each other every second of everyday, life will get in the way." he sounded sad.
"Are you okay Edward?" I asked.
"What? Oh yeah I'm fine baby."
"Alright you just sound a little off."
"I'm sorry just a little tired."
"Are you sure?" I wasn't convinced.
"I just miss you a lot baby."
"I miss you too. It's already Monday night, so just a few more days."
I heard him mumble something under his breath.
"What was that?"
"Oh nothing. I should let you go to bed. I love you baby."
"I love you too Edward."
We hung up and I went to bed. The next day I made sure to remember to call Edward when I took my lunch, but he still sounded off. He assured me that everything was fine ,he was just tired and swamped with work.
Wednesday went about the same, but Thursday Edward didn't call me in the morning. I didn't think anything of it so I got ready for work. At lunch I called him and he told me that he had overslept and was a little late to work, so he got in trouble.
"I'm sorry I would have called, but I just got ready for work and thought that you had just forgot."
"No its fine. I finally got to sleep last night thanks to tylonal pm and forgot to set my alarm. I would have called you, but I didn't want to get you in trouble."
"Edward you would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?" I asked.
I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong or about to go wrong. Was he tired of doing the long distance thing only a week and a half in? Did he find out that he wasn't happy with me? I tried not to let it get to me.
"I would." he replied shortly.
His answer didn't do anything for my nerves.
"Edward? I'm serious."
"I know baby and I'm fine. Just tired." he said.
"Maybe you should go see a doctor,r maybe you got sick when we were out at the lake."
"I'll think about it."
I felt like I wasn't going to get anywhere with him like this so I decided to end the call.
"Well I'm going to go." I snapped.
"No Bella I'm sorry. Just stay on the phone with me for a few more minutes." he begged.
"Then you got to talk to me baby. I'm worried about you."
"I know I'm sorry I was feeling a little sick, but I feel much better now."
We talked for a few more minutes and I started yawning.
"I'm going to let you go baby. I love you and I'll call you tomorrow morning."
"Okay. I love you too. Can't wait to talk to you tomorrow."
Damn desperate much? Yep.
Thursday was boring, but better because Edward called me in the morning and when he took his lunch. I called him when I was ready for bed and we talked about him coming to Seattle the next day. He sounded genuinely happy, but I couldn't get that feeling out of the pit of my stomach.
I went to work Friday excited to see him and happier than usual. I endured hours of being teased by Chris and Marnie, but I didn't let them get to me. I went home early and packed a bag for the hotel that I had already booked. I was picking up dinner and a nice wine on the way.
The hotel wasn't seedy, but it wasn't as nice as the lodge. I didn't care if it was a truck stop, I just really wanted to see Edward so badly. I sat the small coffee table up with candles, wineglasses and dinner and waited for him to show up.
The drive was only three hours and he got off work around three, so at six thirty I started getting worried. I didn't want to call him because I knew he would pull over to answer the phone. I lit a few candles in the bedroom to make it smell like strawberries and heard my phone ringing. The knot in my stomach clenched a little tighter as I ran through the room to my purse.
"Hey baby, where are you?" I gasped.
"I'm sorry Bella. I can't come."
My breathing stopped for a second.
"What?"
"I can't come. Something came up and I don't think I can make it out." he explained slowly.
" Well, why don't I come out th-" he cut me off.
"NO. I mean no, I'm sorry I just don't think that it would be a good idea."
I could hear rustling around and felt the tears sting my eyes. "Okay well call me later."
"Yeah, I'm sorry we couldn't use the hotel room. I'll pay you for it since we aren't going." he offered.
I looked around the room. The candles glowing on the table were already halfway burned out and I could smell the candles from the bedroom.
"Yeah, it's a good thing that I didn't show up early or anything." I whispered not trusting my voice.
Just then I heard a womans voice. I had thought that Edward was at his apartment. Maybe he is still at work. I tried to tell myself. Yeah at six?
Edward didn't help my fears when he started rustling around with stuff and tried to get me off the phone.
"Alright well, I'll call you later. Again I'm sorry baby. I love you." he said quickly.
"I love you too." I whispered before hanging up.
I threw away the food and blew out all of the candles before getting in the bed. It felt extra empty because he was supposed to be here with me, and now he was with 'her'.I cried until sleep took over. When I woke up the next day I ordered room service and picked at the pancakes.
I figured that since I was going to have to pay for the room I could wallow in myself pity in it until Sunday night. I sat and watched TV, while a million different thoughts ran through my brain.
I knew this was too good to be true.
He probably found a bitch that lived closer to him so he wouldn't have to commute for some action.
Maybe there's something wrong.
Maybe he only wanted you for one thing now that he got it he let you go.
Maybe he just had to work.
Maybe he loves you and your overreacting.
Maybe he really was sick.
Maybe he was just sick of you.
Maybe I wasn't good enough.
What happened to we?
By Sunday night, I was going crazy, he hadn't called and I refused to call him. So what does Bella Swan do when times get hard?
She runs.
And that's what I did. I called Marnie and told her that something came up and that I needed the week off and I ran.
_______________________________________________________________________________
So who is the mystery woman??? dun dun duuuun. I hope you guys aren't pissed about the cliffy. I will update soon.
XOXO Ashley