Man, this chapter was getting long and taking so long to write, I figured I'd go ahead and break it into two so that I could at least update something, lol. So, here's part one of this chap. part two should be up in a day or so! Hope you like it :) Some fluff - family fluff, though. NO SLASH :)

The first time Spencer woke, he barely mumbled at them, his lashes fluttering before drifting shut again. A nurse had been in the room at the time and she assured them that he was just gradually getting there. Then, with one last, reassuring smile, she walked out of the room and left them once more to their silent vigil. Another hour went past before Spencer showed signs of waking once more. His body shifted slightly on the bed, the hand in Morgan's giving a small twitch, alerting his friend. Morgan lifted his head and looked up at Spencer's face, watching as the young man's face pinched slightly.

"Hey, kid. Come on now." Morgan said gently. His words drew the attention of the others in the room. All eyes went to Spencer's face, watching as he drew up from his sleep with Morgan's gentle coaxing. "That's it, pretty boy. Open those eyes up for me. Wake up, kid."

Eyes still closed, Spencer licked his lips. "Morgan?" He croaked. The sound of his voice had the others wincing. He sounded hoarse. It was Emily who moved to the small sink in the room, getting a little paper cup of water and bringing it over to the bed. She hesitated, unsure of what to do since Spencer had yet to actually open his eyes. Morgan gave her a one minute signal and turned his attention back to his little brother. "Yeah, kid, it's me. You going to open those eyes up anytime soon? Prentiss has a cup of water here for you to drink."

"What's the point?" Spencer croaked out. His voice grew just a little stronger the more that he spoke. Still, his eyes stayed closed. "I don't need to open my eyes to hallucinate."

"Hallucinate?" Garcia said with a surprised chuckle. "Honey pie, you're not hallucinating. You're at the hospital and we're all here with you. All of us."

Morgan didn't bother arguing with him. He just grinned and stood up, one hand coming to take the cup from Emily. "Hallucination or not, I've got a cup of water here you're going to drink. If I'm real, it'll help. If I'm just a hallucination, then what harm is there in pretending to drink some water, huh? So open your eyes and mouth and drink, Reid."

Humor curved Spencer's lips just slightly. His eyes fluttered slightly, blinking against the light a few times before he finally managed to get them open. Morgan didn't give him time to start to talk. He brought one hand down to cup the back of Spencer's head, helping tip his head up a little, and then he brought the cup to his lips and gently tipped it, giving Spencer small sips until the cup was gone. Once it was, he handed it to Garcia who tossed it into the garbage can near her. Then he gently laid Spencer's head back down and took his hand once more. "There, kid. That should help your throat." Morgan told him. He couldn't help flashing a smile down at him. Spencer was injured, detoxing, and fighting a nasty infection, but he was alive. In Morgan's books, that was reason enough to smile. "You still think we're part of some delusion, or did you decide we're real yet?"

"You've got to be real." Spencer said in a voice that sounded a little better than before. "If I'm going to hallucinate you, I'd at least make you slightly less obnoxious."

Laughter echoed around the room. Morgan cried out "Hey, now!" but even he was grinning at him.

The mirth faded away when Spencer shifted and his face paled even as he slammed his eyes shut. His hands tightened convulsively on Morgan and Garcia's. Dropping his head back against his pillows, he obviously fought the pain that was filling him. Garcia stroked her hand over his arm, murmuring soothingly to him.

After a moment Spencer's face started to relax. A slight sheen of sweat had built on his forehead. Dave took a step forward, a towel in his hand that he'd grabbed from one of the drawers in the room. He used it to gently blot the moisture from Spencer's brow. When Spencer opened his eyes to look up at him, Dave gave him a grin. "Hey, kiddo."

"Hey, Rossi."

Something passed over Spencer's face as they all watched him. Once more his eyes drifted shut. Whether it was from the lights, a headache, pain, or stress, they weren't quite sure. But after a second, he spoke in a soft, almost hesitant voice. "If you're all real, then…the rest of it was as well, wasn't it?" He whispered. The words were almost pulled from him and so quiet they had to strain to hear him. "Gideon coming and…and Eli…the gun…"

Dave wiped the last of the sweat from Spencer's forehead as he quietly answered him. "I'm sorry, kiddo. We've got Eli in custody. He told us where to go. About an hour ago, Agents let us know they recovered the bodies."

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Spencer clamped his lips together. Emotion danced across his face, shifting from one to the next so fast they couldn't keep up. It startled them all when his expression seemed to settle on hard. Staying perfectly still, he spoke in a soft voice, surprising them all with his words. "Get out."

"What?" Emily said with surprise at the same time that Garcia said "Excuse me?"

Spencer's eyes snapped open to glare at them all. "You heard me. Get out."

"Reid, don't do this." Dave's voice was gentle and yet firm at the same time. "We're your friends. Let us help you. That's all we want to do, kiddo."

His words didn't change a thing. "I don't care!" Spencer shouted. "Get out! Get out! Now!"

While the others stared in shock, Morgan exchanged a look with Aaron. This entire time their boss had been totally silent. The look he and Morgan shared spoke more than words would have, though. Together they moved, shepherding the others towards the door. Morgan had to almost lift Garcia from her chair. He wrapped an arm around her, forcing her to move toward the door. Still she looked back over her shoulder, hoping the young doctor would change his mind. But Spencer had already closed his eyes again now that he knew the others were leaving.

Once they were outside the room, Morgan firmly shut the door. After it clicked shut, he looked up at the rest of the team. Three faces showed shock and hurt while one had a firm look of understanding and support. It was that look from his boss that helped Morgan gather his composure enough to speak. "He's not going to let you guys back in here. Not while he feels like this."

"But we just want to help him!" Garcia exclaimed. Hurt was clear in her eyes and her voice.

"He doesn't want that help, baby girl. He absolutely hates being weak in front of people and this shit is going to knock him down to his weakest. With everything that's going on physically and now this with Gideon…" Morgan had to pause to swallow his own grief. It may have been years and he may have been mad at the man for leaving the way he did, but that didn't lessen the grief of losing a great man. "…he's going to feel like shit. The last thing he'll want is an audience for it."

Dave ran a hand through his hair in a rare sign of exhaustion and frustration. "The last thing he needs is to be alone." He countered.

Looking once more to Aaron, Morgan said "He won't be alone." His eyes drifted back to the others. "I was there the last time he had to detox. I've done this before. His temper, all of it, it's not going to scare me away. And he knows that I've seen him this way before so he's more likely to accept my help. I don't really give him much of a choice, anyways." He turned his body toward the door, ear cocked for the sounds within. "I'm gonna go ahead and go back in with him, guys, before he locks down. I promise, I'll call as soon as anything changes. The instant he agrees to let you guys come back, I'll get a hold of you, I promise."

Aaron looked over at him and gave a firm nod. "I'll be in shortly." He said, speaking for the first time since Spencer had woke. Morgan didn't even protest. He just nodded before opening the door and slipping back into the room. The door shut softly behind him. When it had, Aaron looked at the rest of his team, speaking before they had the chance. "Go back to the Bureau and put yourselves to work." He advised them. "Reid may not want our help this way, but that doesn't mean that there's nothing we can do for him. If he won't let you help this way, then help in the only way he's left. Help in interrogation. Find Nathaniel."

This time it was Aaron and Dave who exchanged looks. The senior profiler sighed but he nodded. "If there's one thing I can understand, I guess it would be pride." Dave said jokingly. "And right now, the kid probably feels that pride is all he has left. We can leave him with that much, at least. But you damn well better call us."

"I will. And you keep me updated on the case." Aaron said back. Raised voices from behind them had them all startling. Shaking his head, Aaron gave his team one of his rare smiles. "Come on, I'll walk you to the front and get myself and Morgan come coffee. I think these two might need a moment alone." He joked.

Together, the four of them set off down the hallway, leaving their two arguing friends behind them.

Grief gripped Spencer like a vise around his heart. He bit at the inside of his lip, trying to keep it all inside, to keep himself from crying out underneath the weight of it all. Nothing had worked out the way that it should have! Every plan, everything he'd been hoping to do, all of it had gone to hell. It shouldn't have ended like this. Gideon wasn't supposed to die. You were supposed to work with him and get out of there. Instead, you brought him to his death. You killed him. Oh, God,

He was so lost in that grief, he didn't hear the door to his room open once more and shut again or the footsteps as they crossed the room. But he felt it when a hand settled over his, gently prying his fingers from the bedspread. Instinct had him wanting to startle until he recognized the touch. Without opening his eyes, he told his best friend "I told you to leave."

"And you're an idiot if you thought I'd really do that." Morgan shot back. "I made the others leave, but I'm not going anywhere, Reid."

"I don't want you here!" Spencer made himself shout. The words were a lie—he wanted his 'brother' there with him. Someone, anyone, to help with this grief. "Get out, Morgan!"

Morgan just pulled on his hand, finally getting it open and off the sheet. He didn't hesitate to wrap Spencer's hand in both of his, holding him tightly so he couldn't get away. "Shut up, Reid. I told you, I'm not going anywhere."

"Doesn't what I want matter? Can't you understand that I don't want you here?"

"I told you, shut up." Morgan snapped just as loudly. He didn't balk away from Spencer's rare show of temper. "Like hell I'm going to leave you alone here with this shit. You're hurting, Reid. Inside and out. I'm not leaving my family alone in a hospital when they're hurting! So you just better get used to the fact that I'm not going anywhere .You're not getting rid of me, kid. As soon as you're released from here, you're coming home with me, just like I told you back in that hell hole. You're not alone, Reid. We're gonna handle this together, like a family does."

There was only so much resistance left in Spencer. He found his resolve crumbling underneath Morgan's words. Really, why should he fight it when he wanted nothing more than for his friend to stay? He wanted, needed, someone with him right now. Someone who he trusted and who he knew would be able to handle what was coming this night. Spencer could already feel the nastiness of the withdrawals pushing through his system.

As if sensing that he'd won, Morgan's expression gentled. He let go of Spencer with one hand so that he could bring that hand up and brush some of Spencer's bangs back from his face. "I'm staying, pretty boy. Remember what I told you when you detoxed the last time?"

He did. Those words had stuck with him a long time. They meant more to him than many things other people had ever said to him. "This is what brothers are for." Spencer whispered.

"That's right. I'm not going anywhere."

Spencer abandoned his pride right then, just as he had the first time Morgan had said those words to him. His eyes filled with moisture and he worked hard to blink it back. "He wasn't supposed to die, Morgan. I had a plan. We were going to get out of there together. He wasn't supposed to die."

"I know, kid." Morgan murmured. He continued to stroke Spencer's bangs back, lightly running his fingers through his hair each time. With his other hand he let go of Spencer's hand long enough to drop the side down on the bed. Then he took Spencer's hand again, careful not to jostle the bandage around his wrist, and sat on the edge of the bed.

For that moment, Spencer anchored himself on Morgan's grip. The tears in his eyes burned, slowly leaking onto his cheeks despite his best efforts to force them back. "He was trying to shelter me." Spencer whispered. "It…it's kind of hazy now, but I remember that. He was sheltering me while Eli and Marcus wrestled for the gun. All he had was a knife, but he was going to protect me. I, I was cuffed to a pipe." And oh, how he'd hated being so helpless. If he'd just been free, they could have run and Gideon would most likely still be alive!

Morgan said nothing, only continued to stroke Spencer's hair, letting him tell his story at his own pace. He knew his friend needed to get this out and any interruptions would most likely clam him right back up.

"I remember the shots going off and it hurt my head. When I opened my eyes, Eli was just standing there, holding the gun. Gideon…he was on the ground." A sob tried to come up and was ruthlessly strangled. Forcing his eyes wide, Spencer stared up at the ceiling, welcoming the pain in his head from the lights. It kept him from seeing those images over and over. "It caught him right in the throat. That's how it managed to go through him and not hit me. It went through his throat and into the wall right above my head. Just inches above my head. There was blood everywhere. God, Morgan. It was everywhere; all over me."

This time Spencer couldn't hold back his sob. It brought his pain to life but that seemed appropriate. He should hurt for what had happened. Gideon was dead because of him. Tears blinded Spencer so that he couldn't see as Morgan shifted, but he felt his friend gathering him as close as possible in the hospital bed, still managing to keep hold of his hand. He didn't speak, just held his little brother and let him cry out his grief. Spencer couldn't keep it inside. He was too raw; too exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally. He had no defenses left. This had taken everything from him.

"He wasn't supposed to die!" Spencer hiccupped. He gripped Morgan's hand with one hand and gripped at the bed with his other hand. "Eli and I had a plan. He was going to distract Marcus until night and then he was going to get us out of there. I couldn't get away with not giving him Gideon and I needed him to help me out. I knew I wouldn't be able to walk on my own! But he wasn't supposed to die!"

"I know, kid. I know. He knew that, too. He was determined to help you, even knowing the risks. He didn't go into it blindly, kid."

"It's not right!" His words choked off under the stream of his tears. He gave up speech, unable to get anymore more out and simply clung to Morgan as the tears burned their way through, sob after sob ripping him apart. Even as it made his physical pain grow, he couldn't stop it. The whole time he cried, Morgan stayed with him, never once pulling back. Only when the tears finally stopped, when there was nothing left in him to let out, did Morgan finally lay Spencer back down. He took a tissue and dried his face as casually as if it was a normal thing, taking the edge off of Spencer's slight embarrassment. If Morgan wasn't going to make a big deal out of it, than neither was he. He sighed out a breath and tried to gather his wits about him.

As he lay there, a shiver ran down Spencer's body. He bit his lip, trying to ride out the pain it brought. It wasn't as bad as it could have been and for that he found he was grateful. That thought had his eyes drifting to his IV bags, though. Almost as if he heard the unspoken question, Morgan told him "You've got fluids up there to replenish your body. You came in mildly dehydrated, they said. There's also an antibiotic to fight the infection in your back. And there's pain meds, but they're non-narcotic, kid."

Ah. Infection. That would explain the slight burning to his back as well as the heat from the fever he could feel in every inch of his skin. It was nowhere near as bad as it had been the last time he really remembered being awake; chained to a pipe, sweating and shivering, stretched out as Gideon—no! He cut that thought off. His free hand convulsively moved toward his stomach. The burn when he touched there told him that that hadn't been a dream. It had really happened. "I want to see." He told Morgan hoarsely. Most likely Morgan knew what had happened, even if he didn't know the details to it.

One of the things that made it easy to have Morgan around was that he knew Spencer well enough to know when it was absolutely futile to protest. This was one of those moments. He sighed and shifted his weight before he told him "Let me see if I can sit your bed up a little so you don't have to bend." Morgan said. It only took him a moment before he found the button to raise the bed. After a second, Morgan turned more toward Spencer. "Here, let me lift you a little and you press the button to bring the bed up. Then it's not moving under you an you have control to stop when it hurts too much."

As much as Spencer hated having to have that help, he knew it was the smart thing to do. So he nodded his head and let Morgan's arm slip behind him, bracing the back of his shoulders where there were no welts and lifting him just a bit. Morgan's other hand stayed linked with Spencer's, giving him something to squeeze on as the pain flared to life. Then Spencer was pressing the button and lifting the back of the bed.

He had to stop twice to breathe through the ache and for them to readjust, but eventually they got the bed up to a 45 degree angle. There, they both agreed to stop.

Once Morgan laid him back again, Spencer closed his eyes and worked to breathe through it all. His back was on fire, as was his stomach. The ache in his ribs had intensified and his head felt like it was made of glass. All in all, he felt horrible. The worst part was, he knew it would be worse if he didn't have the pain medication in his system. That was the only thing that allowed him to gain control of the pain so quickly. It didn't take away the itch that was slowly growing on his skin or the muscle and joint aches that seemed to grow worse and worse with each passing moment. It didn't take away the hypersensitivity on his skin, either. But it made things manageable. For now.

Spencer finally loosened his grip on Morgan's hand and let his eyes drift open again. "I want to see." He repeated once more. Morgan nodded at him. Without speaking, the other man reached to the blanket. Right as he was getting ready to move it down Spencer's stomach so he could get to the gown, the door to the room open. To Spencer's immense surprise, Aaron walked in.

His boss had no hesitation in his step as he made his way over to Spencer. When he reached his bedside, he braced his hands on the railing and looked down at him. "Before you ask or order, Reid, I'm going to tell you right up front that I'm not leaving." Aaron told him bluntly. "The others are fully capable agents and are perfectly able to function without me to lead them for a night. And I know that you don't want anyone here, most likely because you don't want anyone to see how sick you're going to be, but that's not going to chase me away either." A rare grin tipped up the corners of Aaron's lips. "I'm a dad, Reid. There's nothing that can happen to you tonight that I haven't seen and most likely already cleaned up before at least once since Jack was born. I'm staying, Reid, and that's final."

For a long moment Spencer stared at his boss—his friend. He felt a reluctant smile at his lips; it was the first real smile he'd felt in a while. A smile of humor. "Are you done?" He asked Aaron with amusement.

Eyes sparkling suddenly, Aaron nodded. "For now. I reserve the right to continue at a later moment."

Amazingly, Spencer felt the urge to chuckle. Instead, he let his smile grow just a little. "Then I'll say welcome to the party, Hotch. You can't say later I didn't warn you."

"What're friends for, Reid?"

Those words so closely echoed Morgan's earlier 'This is what brothers are for' that it eased a small knot of tension in Spencer's stomach. He nodded slightly. This was exactly what friends, what family, were for. To lean on when you needed and to give comfort when they could. He was blessed to have gained such a great family.