Chapter 20

After an incredibly long battle with writer's block, I admit that I may need a beta to encourage me and prod me to work through it. Anyone wishing to apply may, and as an incentive, I'll forward to you the much-anticipated Wonka/Lauren confrontation scene just before she returns to America.

"We're not late!" Charlie said, breathing heavily.

"No, we're exactly on time, which is just as bad and possibly worse," Willy lamented, shrugging off his jacket and hanging his hat. "But we've brought something to make up for it!"

Charlie grinned, "When is dessert not dessert?"

"When it's spelled with only one 's'?" Lauren guessed.

Charlie looked taken aback for a moment, but shook his head. "No, when it's gum!" He looked entirely gleeful and his expression was mirrored in Willy's expression as he produced nine sticks of gum clothed in striped wrappers.

"Dessert gum!" Willy crowed victoriously. He and Charlie took their seats, Charlie next to Willy, and Willy between Charlie and Lauren. Grandpa Joe sat on the edge, next to Mrs. Bucket at the foot, and across from him was Josephine, then Georgina and George, and finally Mr. Bucket at the head. All looked equal parts intrigued and cautious.

"Isn't this what got Miss Beauregarde into all that trouble in the first place?" Aunt Emma asked as the gum was passed out.

"Oh, I've worked out all the flaws by now," Willy said, trying to discreetly draw away from Lauren on one side and Charlie on the other. "It's as safe as blueberry pie!"

No one looked very reassured, but Joe shrugged and reached for the gum, opening his mouth to pop it in. "Ah, ah, ah," Mrs. Bucket scolded. "Dinner before dessert. You'll give Charlie and Lauren bad habits." At this Lauren and Charlie glanced at each other around Willy, greatly amused. Grandpa Joe set the gum down obediently, trying to appear chastened but looking only irrepressible.

"Would you do the honors, dear?" Aunt Emma asked, nodding towards her husband. Mr. Bucket bowed his head, said grace, and then carved the chicken. As one, everyone began filling plates and passing things back and forth. Lauren offered the peas to Willy, who took them only to pass them on. Lauren agreed with his assessment. Peas were the most beastly things she could imagine off the top of her head. Her eyes fell on the cranberry sauce and she amended that last statement.

"So, have you been working on the dessert gum all afternoon?" Grandma Josephine asked, wiping her mouth daintily with a heavily embroidered napkin. With little to keep them occupied all day long, Georgina and Josephine turned to embroidery. As a result, every cloth in the house had been sewn within an inch of its life.

"We started off working on the Super Sour Slush Suckers, but they were a little too powerful. We couldn't think what the problem was until we found out some of the machinery was stuck shut with treacle. When we were unclogging it, Mr. Wonka hit his head on the pipe near the flux capacitor and suddenly he thought of a way to fix Wonka's Magic Chewing Gum."

Here Willy broke in, anxious to explain. "It was so obvious. It was the desserts that were messing us up because we had tried to cram too much into the gum. There simply wasn't the space for all that flavor, so it had to go somewhere."

"And it definitely went somewhere with Violet," Grandpa Joe piped up. "It went somewhere and kept going."

Willy nodded and continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. "So I put the dessert in it's own separate piece of gum and presto! It works."

"Did you test it?" Lauren had to ask, giving the gum a suspicious look.

Willy looked a trifle offended. He gave a little pout and Lauren was surprised at how un-ridiculous he looked. "Of course I tested it, which explains why we were so dreadfully on time earlier."

"Well, then I guess it'll be all right," Aunt Emma said firmly, as though she could will it to be so with the force of her belief. In truth, she didn't look so certain, but probably would have died before admitting that she didn't have full confidence in Willy's inventions.

Dinner continued with barely a hitch, excepting when the cranberry sauce was offered. Most everyone seemed to flinch when Mrs. Bucket sliced into it except for Charlie and Grandpa George. They both took generous helpings of the wobbly, maroon substance, causing Willy's face to contort wildly in an effort to appear polite. Lauren saw his hands grip the bottom of his chair, likely so he wouldn't be tempted to stick one finger down his throat in the classic 'Ew, gross, I'm-gonna-barf-just-smelling-that-stuff' gesture. Mrs. Bucket took a small helping and Mr. Bucket, at the silent urging of his wife, also accepted a miniscule serving. Lauren caught him trying to hide it under his mashed potatoes shortly after that.

When the cranberry sauce had been safely replaced on the table, conversation picked up again. It was discovered that Mr. Bucket had been visited by Grandpa Joe's bounty as well. He had found itching powder in his socks, courtesy of his father-in-law and had scratched at it all through the employee morale speeches that morning. Eventually he had been forced to rinse his feet off with the outdoor faucet and as a result, he had squished wherever he walked for a solid hour. Luckily he seemed to take the prank a lot better than Grandma Josephine had. His description of the shift manager's face at the wet boot prints he had left was interrupted by a loud burp.

"Charlie!" his mother scolded, shaking her head.

Giving her an apologetic look, Charlie pressed his napkin over his face. "Sorry, Mum." He burped again, this time a little louder. "Whoops!" Another burp interrupted his apology, this time coming from Grandpa George. He looked surprised as Georgina shot him a disapproving glance. Another belch from Charlie took his wife's attention away and for awhile everyone at the table looked like they were watching a tennis match as their interest switched between Charlie and George. Grandma Josephine offered George some water, hoping it would calm the noise down. Joe, taking advantage of the distraction, nudged Lauren in the side.

She pried her gaze from Charlie and her grandfather to look at him. He gave her a quick smile and directed her attention downward just as he slipped something into her hand. She stole a glance down and saw a small white packet labeled 'Burping Powder: Safe to add to any food!' Lauren grinned hugely and looked at the cranberry sauce, which was wriggling in all its evil glory. She made sure no one was looking, then moved her hand ever so slowly to tug on Willy's jacket. He flinched, but not too noticeably, and turned to meet her eyes. With a conspiratorial grin, she looked down at the packet in her hand, waited 'til his eyes followed, then glanced meaningfully at the cranberry sauce. Comprehension lit up his eyes from behind and he beamed at her, then Grandpa Joe. Suddenly the burping was much funnier.

As Lauren, Joe, and Willy all tried to control their expressions, Charlie and George were burping longer and louder than ever. Every time he made a particularly loud noise, Charlie would giggle loudly until he was interrupted by another belch. Finally Mrs. Bucket insisted that they both go outside and walk it off because she had had quite enough of this nonsense to last her a lifetime. Of course, the conspirators all staunchly volunteered to go with them and allow the others to clean up.

Everyone snatched up their sticks of gum and headed outdoors, Charlie and George still giving out the occasional large burp. Joe waited until they were mostly out of ear-shot of the house before mirthfully confessing the truth.

"You what!" George asked, more angry at being fooled than at being infected with the burps. His expression might have been more threatening if he hadn't let loose another burp a second later. He and Charlie advanced with one accord as Grandpa Joe suddenly realized the danger he was in. It was much too late though, as George and Charlie had already descended on him, tickling with all their might. If there was one think Grandpa was vulnerable to, it was tickling.

Lauren and Willy looked at each other nervously. Words were unnecessary. At the same time they turned and sprinted off in opposite directions, leaving Joe to his fate. His caterwauling was audible for quite a ways. "After them, Charlie!" George called, continuing to poke at Joe's ribs as the other man cackled and begged for mercy.

Glancing behind her, Lauren saw Charlie spot her and come running her way. Knowing he could easily catch her in open country, she ducked into a grove of caramel apple trees. Dodging swudge ferns and low-hanging branches, she wormed her way through the patch of trees and gazed furtively out of her hiding place. The chocolate room was only a little larger than a football field, so she would have to be sneaky if she wanted to make it past George and Charlie. What she really needed to do was find a good place to wait them out and then move past them while they were distracted.

She moved stealthily out of the trees and entered the tall reeds near the chocolate river. In the distance she could hear George shout to Charlie that they would have to 'flush them out.' Grinning a bit from the excitement of it all, she sprinted suddenly from the cover of the reeds to a rocky overhand next to the chocolate waterfall. She was considering her next move when she happened to glance sideways. Behind the waterfall was a little cave!

Lauren licked her lips. It would be the perfect spot to hide, if there was enough room for her to scoot behind the falls without getting covered in chocolate. Taking a deep breath, she scooted sideways onto the ledge and propelled herself quickly into the little cave, but not before she felt the warm, sticky chocolate splash across her front. She looked down and reflexively said a word that sounded a little like fake and a lot like funk. If she'd been wearing a sports bra, it never would have happened.

A fake rock protruding out through the waterfall sprayed chocolate out in a thin fan of liquid. It allowed her to see out well enough, but no one could see through the spray very well. Lauren bent down and peered out, trying to spot Charlie, George, or Willy in the light of the small 'moon.' As if her thoughts had summoned him, she heard a great shout that sounded like Charlie. Willy came racing into view, holding his top hat on his head as he looked around carefully for a place to hide.

"Grandpa, I saw him!" Charlie yelled from somewhere close by.

Willy looked a little panicked. Being held down and tickled probably seemed like a fate worse than death to him. In that moment Lauren held his fate in her hands, and in a burst of uncharacteristic generosity, she decided to be merciful. She waited until he made a move towards the reeds, then saw the same little overhang she had used for cover before. He made for it, recognizing that the weeds wouldn't hide his tall frame half so well. Charlie rounded the bend, Grandpa George close behind, and it seemed that Willy surely would be seen in a moment. Before that could happen, Lauren reached out, grabbed his lapels, and yanked him into the little cave after her.

"Mmph!" Willy objected as she covered his mouth with her hand.

"Shh," she hissed, uncertain how well they could hear over the splashing of the falls. Charlie looked around suspiciously, peering through the gloom at the ground. He must not have found any evidence, because he and Grandpa George set out in different directions again to continue the search. Lauren breathed a sigh of relief, breathing heavily as her system processed the adrenaline. This was the most fun she could remember having in a long time.

Willy resumed his struggle to escape from her touch and she removed her hand from his mouth. He did not jump away from her, as she had half expected, but in the dim light she could see him scrubbing vigorously at his mouth with one sleeve. "I got chocolate on me, which means whatever was on me, is in the chocolate!" he said in an urgent whisper.

"I got chocolate on me too, but we have more to worry about than a bit of germ transfer, unless you want to get the same treatment Grandpa Joe got." In the dark she couldn't see if he'd gone paler than usual, but he didn't mention contamination again.

"I'd forgotten about this place. This is where the emergency waterfall shutoff is located." He gestured further into the rock hollow where there was a metal wheel protruding from the wall.

Lauren nodded, though she wasn't sure it would be seen in the near darkness. "We need a plan," she said, her voice all business. "If we can make some kind of distraction, then we can sneak back to the house and act like we've been there the whole time." She looked over at Willy, who seemed to be giving all his attention to the mechanics of the pipes behind them. "What do you think?"

"That sounds fine." His disembodied whisper reached her ears, but he was too far back for her to make out the outline of his body in the dark. He sounded a little on edge though, perhaps from being trapped in such a small place with a person who was likely covered in germs. Lord knew he had been jumpy on the elevator ride they had taken.

"Unless he's been having dreams too…" Lauren stopped, examined that thought, then grimaced. She banished it from her head, the mental equivalent of dropping it on the floor and grinding it into dust. There was no way she was even considering the idea of a mutual attraction, because she just might jinx herself or will it into being or something. She frowned. Hadn't there been something in that Voodoo book about wishing too hard and bringing about unforeseen consequences? She'd have to reread that part…

A brief rustling sound in the bushes next to the chocolatefall made Lauren freeze. She could sense Willy doing the same, trying to make his breath as shallow as possible. She was immensely relieved when an Oompa Loompa appeared instead of Charlie or George. She scanned the ground, spotted a small chocolate pebble, and threw it with passing accuracy at the worker. It didn't hit, but it flew past his head and he turned to look in the direction it had come from. She motioned him over quickly.

"Willy, come here. I have an idea," Lauren said, grinning. Willy walked over, saw the Oompa Loompa, and noticed Lauren's sneaky expression. His own features brightened. Plotting was something Willy was always up for.

There is a Back to the Future reference in here, props to the person who points it out.