You win, Light's smile, serene and cordial, seems to say, but be sure this is really what you want.
And Mello will win, and it's only a matter of time before he is the first of them to speak with the shinigami, but for the time being, he isn't guided by reason alone.
It isn't important that L will see this; it isn't important that Near and everyone else will see this, as well; Mello knows what he's doing and this is the way he does things.
But it is nevertheless entirely by choice that Light allows it, and one might feel compelled to think that Light knows neither affection nor real physical drive but only strategy if not for the unmistakable passion all-consuming to possess and conquer.
Mello shows him neither the careful gentleness that L showed Light nor the honest surrender that Mello had shown L, himself, in every gesture and every regard; instead, he takes him cruelly, with tormented deliberation and burning jealousy and threats, until for a very brief moment, Light actually begins to wonder if he has at all underestimated his rival. No, he laughs internally, this was to be expected.
He even pretends to be astonished, defeated, afraid, long eyelashes flickering shut against the clavicular ridge protruding under deceptively soft skin, expiration desperate and moist against the rhythmic fall of yellow hair, and please don't and please stop and it hurts, and then, like the vicious swing of an invisible iron mace,
Ryuuzaki…!
Oh, now he's done it.
L is seldom mistaken, and L was not mistaken when he chose both Near and Mello to work with and after him. What follows is neither reprimand nor surprise, but only curious amusement and even the suggestive hint of a smile as he gazes at the two from across the room.
In just seconds Mello has a gun trained against Light, jaws clenched and eyes squinting, left hand tightly pressed to his neck.
You're a lying little bastard, Kira, Mello hisses, and I can see through this just as well as he can.
"Please," Light squints, fingers clawing at the palm pressed hard to his neck, "please let go."
And ultimately Mello does, because, after all, they do need him, and with an impressive display of inner strength, he releases Light and allows him to return to bed.
Let this be a warning to you, Kira, and foreshadowing of things far worse still to come.
He is deep in thought as he walks back to his own bedroom, clothes wrinkled and hair disheveled, and stops before he reaches the entrance because L calls to him.
He looks up from behind rogue strands of hair, no longer glowing with fury but nevertheless shaken still, and he says nothing when the slender digits of L's hand travel through those strands to smooth them, and then warm dark eyes inspect him slowly, and at last the fire quiets and the rage grows dim.
"Does Mello want to stay with me tonight?"
And, like so many years ago, they travel down the hallway together, Mello's hand twined around the bony length of L's index finger.
To be continued…
--
"I see Mello has found a gun," comes L's quiet voice, low and calm against the sheet beneath.
"He knows where it is. I'm sure of it."
L nods quietly.
"I think you're right. But he didn't know all along."
"I—I understand." And then, after a moment of thought, Mello's eyes go big. "He's afraid of nothing. He doesn't tell anything."
"I think you might be right about this too, Mello-kun. He's going after this with complete detachment from his own feelings."
"You're wrong. These are his feelings. This is satisfaction."
"I wonder to what extent that's true."
"He may have saved your life," Mello's voice rings at last with irritation, "but this isn't simply about—"
"Yes," an exhalation ghosting against the folded knuckles of L's white hand, "not simply about my drive to win or his drive to win—or about friendship."
And then with a little smile, he adds, "Mello says this, but this isn't what Mello believes."
"W—what—"
"Would you say you pursue this case driven first and foremost by a sense of justice?"
He got me.
Of course he got me.
L doesn't wait for his reply. "Perhaps we are all driven at least in part by a personal sense of competition."
"L," Mello's voice is strained and almost inaudible, "I don't think there's any friendship there."
"Perhaps not. But perhaps what's at play, instead, is incredible self-control."
Defeated, Mello curls in anger, straining very hard not to show his temper and jealousy to L, who sees them anyway.
He tilts Mello's chin up with a gentle finger and inspects his face in the dark.
"Where did you put the gun, Mello-kun?"
"S…sorry," the boy mumbles with awkward hesitation, and then, lifting the blanket back, he pulls it away from the hook at his belt. He hands it to L carefully, and the older boy takes it and inspects it slowly, then reaches for a drawer at the dresser beside the bed.
"You know that there are cameras in every room."
Mello nods. "It wasn't supposed to be a secret."
L thinks about this. It seems that Mello does know how to handle a weapon, and the position does, after all, involve danger and the need for protection.
Perhaps it isn't a bad idea for him to have a weapon of his own; L had chosen him because he trusts his judgment.
When he returns to bed, he sees Mello curled away, blonde locks falling softly over the delicate lines of his shoulders and narrow back, and he is all suppressed anger and humiliation, looking away deliberately to hold back from lashing out again.
Very slowly, L leans closer and presses his lips to the tremulous skin just behind his ear.
"Please try to get some sleep; we've been up very late and we need to be alert tomorrow."
But Mello spends the rest of the night frozen rigid, eyes fully open and staring out into the dark room without daring to turn around.
Will continue this soon. I don't usually leave many notes, but this is important to me. We are presently working on the translation for the Death Note yaoi doujin game Bound Prince. This is a very explicit game and it's very hard to find people who understand Japanese and are willing to help with the yaoi parts. If you or anyone you know can help or if you would like to see the translation so far, please message me.