Man, I got a lot of reviews for that last chapter! Thank you, guys!
-JustStandingHere
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I return a good twenty minutes later to find a rather ruffled looking Doctor hurriedly fiddling underneath the console and a smirking River Song leaning against the rails with her arms crossed.
"You kids having fun?" I ask, trotting down the stairs.
River laughs. "Oh, the best."
The fiddling stops for a moment before resuming again. "I have nothing to say on the matter."
"Of course you don't," I say, sighing.
River looks over to me. "So how old are you, Jenna?"
"Fifteen," I answer. "Though, that's a rough estimation. Last time I checked it was three months to my birthday and I've been on here for God knows how long."
"Forty-five days, thirteen hours and…twenty-seven minutes," the Doctor informs me.
I gape. "You knew?"
"I'm a Time Lord, I know everything."
"No, you don't," I fire back.
He pushes himself away from the underbelly of the console on the small cart he's using. "Well I know a lot more than you."
I shrug. "In some areas, yeah."
"Oh…stop acting all smart." He drags himself back under the console.
I shake my head. "So…where are you, exactly? In your timeline?"
"Doctor, I didn't know you told your companions about me," River jokes, smiling.
I play along with it. "Oh yeah, he won't shut up about you. 'River' this, and 'River' that. I swear he-"
"Are you two going to gaggle about like hens all day?" the Doctor asks.
"We're just kidding around," I say. I turn back to River. "So…timeline?"
"Last time I saw him we went fishing over in the Yukon Galaxy," he answers.
I frown. "Fishing? Doesn't really seem…Doctor-y."
River considers this, nodding her head briefly to the side. "Well, the fish there do glow in the dark and are covered in teeth."
I smile. "Ah, okay. There you go. Had me worried there that he'd gone domestic."
"The Doctor being domestic?" River laughs. "I think the Universe would rip apart before that happened."
"To be fair, it has already once before," I remind her.
She frowns. "It has?"
I pause. "Oh yeah. Is it too late to say 'spoilers'?"
"Possibly," River says, shrugging it off. "Gives me something to look forward to, I can tell you that."
I laugh. "Oh, it's a doozy, trust me."
"You were there?" she asks.
I sputter. "I…well, no…but-"
"It's complicated?" River finishes.
"Yeah. That word's getting old."
River laughs. "Don't I know it?" She turns to the Doctor. "So, sweetie, want to sync diaries?"
"Sorry," he says, "I'm a little busy rewiring the ripple capacitor, got to do everything precisely or Luxembourg takes over America in the 19th century."
River peers in. "Sweetie, it's the yellow wire, not the green one."
The Doctor pulls off his goggles. "I know I was just holding it!" Something sprays sparks and he scurries to fix it. "Oh, hell…"
River smirks. "Well, I'd like to know sooner or later. First time around you said something about a hole the size of Belgium in the Universe. Of course, I could've heard wrong through the gunfire and explosions…"
"Oh no, Belgium's right," he says. "Now leave me be, I've got to fix this before anything else goes wrong."
River crosses her arms over her chest. "Well sorry if I wanted to keep the timeline intact."
He scowls. "Go ask Quigs, she'll tell you."
River frowns. "Who's Quigs?"
"I apparently answer to that name," I sigh. "Please don't call me that, only the Doctor does and that's because he's a stubborn bastard who acts like my kid brother."
River smiles. "I get it. He named the parrot Bertrand."
"There's a parrot?" the Doctor asks, sitting up and immediately banging his head on the console. He grimaces.
River covers her mouth with her hand. "Whoops. Spoilers."
The Doctor waves my way. "Just go ask Jenna, she knows, probably." And with that, he disappears under the console again.
River turns and looks at me both quizzically and expectantly, and I realize I have a job to do.
"Right!" I say, clapping my hands together. "Okay. Well, he's after Berlin, so he knows who you are, but he's before Silencio the second time around, so he doesn't know who you are, in regarding to him. Aged 943, left Amy and Rory, last saw you at the hospital before you applied at Luna University. I think." I pause. "Yeah, pretty sure that's all that's relevant."
"How do you know all of that?" she asks, looking more and more skeptical by the second. I really can't blame her; I'd be freaked out as well if someone knew as much as I do.
"I saw it," I admit slowly.
"But you weren't there."
"I know."
"There were no cameras."
I open my mouth, but consider it for a second. Actually there were cameras, but in a parallel dimension where this was a television set in Cardiff.
"Ah…" I drag out. I swallow, and then attempt to speak again. "Well, it sort of has to do with why I'm here with the Doctor and why I'm not at home doing my English project…" Yes, there was an English project. And yes, it was one of the reasons I scampered off into the TARDIS.
"Alright, I want to know everything," River says. "Because it's alright to keep your background hidden, I understand. But when it involves me and anybody I care about the circumstances change."
I gulp, feeling a little intimidated. Okay, very intimidated. I circumvent River (vocabulary!) and go tap the Doctor on the leg. "Doctor?"
Obviously fed up, the Doctor propels himself out from under the console and glares at me. "I'm trying to work here. Unless you want all the history you've known and all of the people you care about to disappear I would suggest you let me continue working."
"River wants to know about…me," I say.
He frowns. "Then go tell her. Everybody enjoys a good story, I know I do."
"Yeah, but you explain it better," I confess. "Besides, I still don't understand half of it."
"What do you mean, you were there!" he points out.
I nod. "Yeah, but…it's just the whole Silence deal and the difference between parallel dimensions and parallel universes and rips in reality or how I'm still existing because I thought about it and really I shouldn't be and I'm still thoroughly confused, okay?"
"Well why didn't you ask?" he questions.
"Because when you explain things it sounds like a mouse talking in fast motion," I tell him.
He ignores and continues to work. I glance back over to River, who's frowning at me. I sigh and walk back over to her.
"I come from a parallel dimension-universe-thingy-or-whatever where this is all a television show," I say. "You, the Doctor, and everybody are actors, the TARDIS and all the planets and places are either sets or computer animation, and time travel does not exist. Of course here it's all real, but not where I'm from." I inhale. "And the Doctor came through a tear in reality…or a rip I really think they're the same thing-"
"They are most definitely not," the Doctor interjects.
I glare at him before turning back to River. "Anyway, he came through a tear in reality, we whooped alien ass and then I snuck aboard the TARDIS for a week until he found me out. By then the tear had closed so I'm stuck here and we've been doing things like saving alien races, running from famous people, and helping arrogant detectives and their bloggers. Any questions?"
"You almost talk as fast as him," is all she has to say.
I take a deep breath. "Well, when you're around him long enough you pick up certain traits."
"So…where you're from, I'm a television character?" she asks, looking completely unfazed.
"Yeah," I say. "And you're not bothered by that at all?"
"Well do people like me?" River inquires.
I nod. "Yes. Yes, actually, a lot of people do."
She smiles. "Then I am perfectly fine with it."
"So you believe everything I just said, you truly trust me?"
River shrugs. "Well, if the Doctor trusts you then I trust you. And believe me, sweetie, I've come across things far more odd than that."
"Like what?" I ask, feeling the moment of tension fade away.
River smirks. "Don't you know already?"
"Well I don't know everything," I point out. "Like this? This was never shown. That whole 200 year period between the Doctor leaving the Ponds in London and…" I glance at the distracted Doctor. "And the other thing, that was completely left to the imagination. Until now."
"Well now I know I still have some semblance of a private life," River says. "Not that many things are private for me."
I smile. "So, how long have you been in Stormcage?"
"Six years," she sighs. "Awfully boring place, but I have my fun."
"Oh yeah," I recall. "The strip search."
"Anything that might rile up my old man is always fun," she says, gesturing to the Doctor.
I laugh. "Yeah. So where do you want to go? I mean, its fine if we hang out here while the cable guy gives us new channels-" I nod towards the Doctor. "—but we're not staying here all the time, especially with you here."
River raises an eyebrow. "Oh? And why wouldn't I want to just stay here for the time being?"
I smile. "Because you're River Song, the girl cooped up in a prison cell who'll take advantage of the time she's out."
River goes over to the console, reading off of the scanner. "Well, you certainly know your trivia."
I roll my eyes. "Trust me, it isn't something to be proud of."
"I was thinking something adventurous, like Gettysburg," River tells me. "But the archaeologist in me is craving something…more interesting."
"Like what?" I ask.
"Easter Island," River says. "Just screams fun. Isolated from most of the world, mysterious statues and customs…Mmmm, I'm getting excited just thinking about it." She pulls down one of the levers and a bang reverberates around the room.
The Doctor pushes himself out from under the console and stands up. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Driving, sweetie, what does it look like?" she asks coyly, pressing a couple buttons and not really paying attention to the Doctor.
"I was working!" he points out.
"Oh please, sweetie, we all know you finished rewiring two minutes ago."
"How did you—never mind. But this is my ship; I should be the one driving."
"You drove yourself into a parallel dimension, love. I think I'm more qualified."
"Yes, well I had reason to do so!"
River quirks an eyebrow. "And what was that?"
He sputters. "Personal business. Fine! You can drive. Just…leave the brakes on, will you? It's a good noise."
I glance between the two of them. "Wait," I say. "Doctor, did you never tell her about R-"
"Ah ah ah!" he tuts, going over and covering my mouth with his hand. "The erm…Rio Grande Café. Best coffee on Earth, but it's much better when it's not uh…this Earth. Yeah."
River looks at him skeptically before going back to the scanner. "Don't push yourself, sweetie. I'll find out who she is sooner or later."
"I—how do you know they're a 'she'?" he asks. He still hasn't taken his hand off of my mouth and I really don't like the taste of custard and electrical tape on my tongue.
River smirks. "Please. I'm the child of the TARDIS. You don't think she would've told me a thing or two? Let's see…is it the temp, the shop girl, or that ravishing captain?"
"Ravishing?" he asks, finally taking his hand away. I try to spit out the taste.
River shrugs. "What can I say?" she asks, turning to the Doctor and tugging on his jacket. "I love a man in uniform. So who was it?"
He stutters, looking caught off-guard. "Th-The shop girl."
"Rose?" she asks. The Doctor nods. "Oh, I heard she was a special one. Big Bad Wolf, eh?"
"How-"
"TARDIS records," she answers. "And word gets around when the phrase is plastered into every era known to exist."
The Doctor sighs. "Oh."
River lets him go, smirking at his squirminess. "Don't think I know a thing or two about your past, Doctor. I've seen all your faces. Must say you were quite the pretty boy last time."
There's a moment of silence, because the Doctor and I have heard her use that phrase before in an entirely different setting, but it ends as soon as it begins. The Doctor scowls.
"And what does that make me now?" he asks.
"A giraffe," I joke, laughing.
"A very handsome giraffe," River corrects. I make a face.
"A very dorky giraffe," I add.
"Oi!"
I smile. "Don't worry, it's a compliment."
"Doesn't sound like a compliment…" he grumbles.
"Oh, cheer up, Doctor," I reassure him, patting him on the shoulder. "We're going to Easter Island."
He looks over to River. "Oh are we?"
River nods. "Easter Island, circa 1192 C.E., isolated from the rest of the world. Polynesian culture, very small."
"Polynesian, eh?" the Doctor asks, face lighting up. "Always wanted to learn how to hula dance, I've never had the chance to." He does a small hula motion that almost sends me into hysterics.
"Well then," River says, pressing a couple buttons. "I suggest you hold onto something."
The entire room shakes and I grip the nearest railing. It's an involuntary reflex now, holding onto the most stable object you can find. It's partly survival, but in all honesty it's more part of routine. Like when you wake up and sort of languidly go through the morning and ten minutes later realize you're making breakfast.
Except it' best not to sleepwalk in the TARDIS, you never know where you might end up.
The shaking stops and we all look at each other, waiting for someone to move and initiate the trip outside. Of course, River and I look to the Doctor.
He looks between the two of us. "Hm? Oh, yes! Easter Island." He rubs his hands together. "Moai and Polynesians. Yes. Well, let's go, shall we?"
He walks down the stairs, jumping on the second-to-last one and landing on the floor with a loud thud, going to go open the doors.
"I've always wanted to go somewhere south of the Equator," I comment. "Nice and warm, no temperate rainy days or freezing sunny ones."
"Where were you from?" River asks.
"Oregon, in the Pacific Northwest," I say. "Boring. Don't go there unless you need to, though I don't see a situation that would lead to the capital of hipsters and lumberjacks."
"You never know," River reminds me. "Lumberjacks are actually very important to the balance of the Universe."
I smile. "Are they?"
She smiles. "Very."
The Doctor nods and points to his chin. "The beard hides their third eye." He claps his hands together again. "Alright. Let's go!"
"Allons-y," I mutter, I swear he grins for half a second.
We open the doors, and like all the other times when we open the TARDIS doors we don't come across the expected.
"Oh," the Doctor says. "Hello."
I look around. There are huts everywhere, some pouring out smoke but others just silent and still. People are bustling about, or they were. They've stopped. Everybody's stopped to stare at us, bewildered. Some have even rushed up to where we are, frowns on their faces and fear in their eyes. Some are poised with spears in our direction.
We've landed in the middle of a village, where people are threatening to kill us. Again. God damn it.
The larger of the men, one who has multiple tattoos and just reeks of authority drops his weapon, sinking to the ground and…bowing?
"All hail the magical gods and their mighty box," he says. The other village people drop their things and follow him.
Well, fuck.
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Sorry this took so long, school's been a drag. Part 2 will be up in a week or so.
The Christmas Special is coming soon! Hallelujah!
Sherlock's been pushed back to early 2014, unfortunately. And Merlin's getting canceled. So in all honesty Tumblr is sort of a mess right now.
Do all your following and favoriting as well if you are enjoying this story.
Reviews are nice as well.
-JustStandingHere