And we're in chapter 20!

When I first wrote this, I'd promised my Finnish readers that I'd write some Bagginshield fluff after the depressing chapter 19. Well, things happened and somehow I ended up writing smut instead of fluff. Woops.

So, I give porn alert for this chapter (don't feel like changing the rating for one tiny scene in one chapter). I think you should be able to skip it if you don't like that kind of stuff. I'll also warn you that this is only the first successful smut scene I've written (and second overall), so I'm open for constructive criticism.

Chapter twenty

Where Thorin and Bilbo… You Know

~..~

Jon and Robb thought they had seen everything. For many weeks now they had assumed they wouldn't wonder anything they'd see in Middle-Earth anymore. They had now been on the journey to Erebor for two weeks and during that time they hadn't seen anything incredible save from a snow-white deer. And so their faces were worth seeing when the Company decided to take a well-deserved rest at Beorn's house. Thorin had forgotten to mention that Beorn was a seven-foot tall skin-changer, and no one else had mentioned the matter either. Robb was just about to jump from his trousers and Jon's mouth fell open when Beorn came out of his door, greeted the Company cheerfully and introduced himself to the Stark siblings and Thalia (who hadn't been astonished of anything in years).

"Well, did you get that map back?" Beorn asked from Thorin. Thorin and the lads had stopped at Beorn's also on their way from the Lonely Mountain to the Shire and explained the situation.

"We did, but the price was hard", Thorin answered bitterly. "Robb, Jon and Arya lost their home whilst they were helping us."

"Now that really is too bad", stated the skin-changer. "Children should have a home. What are you going to do about it?"

Thorin and Gandalf told Beorn of the plans to give the Stark siblings a new home in Erebor while the rest of the Company settled down. Thalia was so tired that she didn't even bother to take off her combat boots, she just fell straight on a bed in one of the guestrooms and fell asleep. Fíli, Kíli and Ori did the same, though Fíli first pushed his bed against Kíli's. Robb, Jon and Arya lingered for a moment to introduce themselves properly to Beorn and assure him that their direwolves knew how to behave. Beorn was absolutely thrilled of the wolves and immediately said what fine beasts they were. Grey Wind ruffled his fur and tooted his own horn so much that Arya burst into laughter. That, in turn, made Robb and Jon happy, because during the past two weeks she had hardly even smiled, let alone laughed.

"Good grief, you're all skin and bones, poor girl", Beorn exclaimed when paying closer attention on Arya. "Come to the kitchen and we'll see if there's something for you to eat. Did you run out of supplies?"

"More or less so", answered Bilbo who had just returned to the hall. He'd gone to drop off his rucksack to one of the guestrooms. "Nevertheless, Arya has got the most food of us all."

"In that case you're also coming to the kitchen", Beorn announced. "If you ask me, Hobbits need to be a bit plump and little girls should eat properly. When those things happen, things are in proper order."

Arya made a slight grimace at "little girl" because she thought she had grown a lot during the adventure, but she also noted she was very hungry, so the words kitchen and a good meal sounded tempting. Beorn gave also the direwolves some snacks, since they hadn't eaten well either for some time. In the kitchen there was a smell of some kind of a soup, which to Arya's eye seemed a bit suspicious at first (it was strange yellowish green), but she tasted it anyway and realised it was delicious. There was no meat in it (as there wasn't in any of the other dishes there was), but it didn't bother her one bit. During the journey she had eaten so much meat that a break from it was welcome.

"The hollow spot in my stomach says thanks", Bilbo stated after a couple of spoonfuls (he, too, had ended up eating the soup). The rest of the Company migrated to the kitchen whenever they happened. Beorn said that there would be food in there all night, so those who now had gone straight to bed could come down and eat anytime they wanted.

"We can never thank you enough", Thorin said to Beorn. "Know that you're more than welcome to stay in Erebor whenever you wish."

"Thanks, but things get a bit messy here if I'm away for longer", answered Beorn. "Or on second thought I might be able to get good old Radagast to look after my animals. It's not like it wouldn't be the first time he did so."

While speaking Beorn patted the head of one of his grey dogs. The dog was very interested in the direwolves that had arrived and familiarised himself with Ghost. Ghost was absolutely thrilled of this new acquaintance and was soon wrestling with the dog on the floor. Not long after Nymeria and Grey Wind joined them.

Arya yawned. The day had been a long one. She thanked for the meal and then climbed up to the same guestroom where Thalia was. It seemed like it had been forever since she had last slept in a proper bed. Arya pulled her boots off and curled on the other of the beds in the room practically half asleep already. Nymeria followed her soon after and fell asleep on the floor in between Thalia and Arya's beds. Thalia mumbled something in her sleep before turning around. Arya smiled and fell asleep peacefully for the first time in a long time. Thankfully also her dreams were peaceful. In the morning she couldn't recall anything of them except for the blurred image of a dark-haired woman and a gentle voice that called her "my little wolf". Actually Arya woke Thalia just so she could tell her about it and ponder what it could mean.

Thalia was quick to make up an answer. "You want a mom", she said simply. "Or someone like one. And I can quite understand, suffering from such losses so young." Thalia let out a sigh and continued, "I do know what it feels like to lose a family member. My baby brother went missing when I was nine. I haven't seen him since, or even know if he's still alive."

Arya was surprised to know this – and also realised how little she actually knew of Thalia. Thalia hadn't really talked about her background during the journey; before this Arya had known only that her father was a god and she'd run away when she was very young. Other than that Thalia was a great mystery.

"I'm scared", Arya said silently. "I don't know what's happening to me, since I see weird dreams and hear mountains sing. A-and if Robb or Jon d-dies…"

Thalia hugged her. "It'll be alright, one way or another. Robb and Jon aren't going to get themselves killed anytime soon, at least not that I know of, so on that matter you can be calm."

They both sat in silence for a while until Thalia added, "'Little wolf', huh. That's cute. Can I use it?"

Arya made a face and started to smack the Hunter with the nearest pillow. Thalia let out a shrill scream that soon turned into laughter. Two could play at this game, so she grabbed another pillow and started a counter-attack. At some point Fíli, Kíli and Jon came to check what was going on, and without thinking any further they went to fetch themselves some pillows too and joined the fight. The fight went on a long time, since Arya was laughing again, and Jon didn't want it to end.

The screams of delight and bursts of laughter of the youngsters echoed throughout Beorn's house and managed to wake up nearly everyone. Only Glóin and Balin didn't seem to notice it, and later on they said they hadn't heard anything. The laughter was audible especially well to Thorin and Bilbo's room, and Thorin was far from pleased since he had to wake up so much sooner than he had originally intended.

"The sun has barely even risen yet", he grumbled.

"Just let it go", said Bilbo and kissed the Dwarf lightly. "At least Arya is laughing again."

"That is the reason I don't get up and go yell at them", Thorin chuckled. "It's someone else's turn to be the cruel spoilsport today."

Bilbo grinned and kissed Thorin again before getting up. "Nature calls", he said and padded from the room. Thorin pressed himself against his pillow for a moment and pinched his arm to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Then he got up too and went to his rucksack to search for the map of Middle-Earth. For two months now he had been meaning to learn it by heart so no one could ever again make fun of his sense of direction. After searching for a while Thorin's hand found something that certainly hadn't been there the last time he had packed it. He pulled the item up and went pale. Someone – Dwalin, most likely – had put a vial of lubrication oil in his rucksack.

"This must be a joke", Thorin huffed.

"What then?"

Oh shoot, Bilbo was back. Thorin had meant to slip the vial back to the rucksack in secret so that he wouldn't have to talk about it. Now it wouldn't succeed even if he tried because Bilbo most likely had already seen it, so he sighed and said, "This." He passed the vial to Bilbo who didn't realise what it was at first.

"A vial of oil, what's so funny about –" Suddenly Bilbo understood what it was. "Oh. Oh."

"I know", muttered Thorin. "As said, it must be a joke."

Bilbo started to examine the label with a slightly interested expression on his face. The lubricant was most likely from the Laketown or then…

"Well well, your nephews have been diligent", said Bilbo after noticing the Elven runes. "If I were you I'd tell them off for stealing this from Lothlórien."

"Excuse me?"

"Did you suspect Dwalin again?" Bilbo laughed shortly. "No, this is from Celeborn's medicine cabin, I'll bet my head on it. Though I still guess Fíli and Kíli meant it as a jest."

Thorin would've immediately started to plan a cruel double murder (triple murder if it was ever discovered Thalia had been a part of this) if he hadn't been scared for his own skin. Dís' face, if she'd see her brother now, flashed in his mind. Besides, he would've told a blatant lie if he had said he wasn't interested in the vial, what came to its contents and its use.

Something about Bilbo's face made it clear that the Hobbit was thinking the same. He was still studying the vial with a slightly interested expression, but Thorin could've sworn he knew what was going on in his imagination.

"So, what do we do now?" Thorin asked as nonchalantly as he could.

"Well", said Bilbo in a controlled manner, "we don't really have to do anything. On the other hand it would be a shame to waste perfectly good lubricant…"

That was all Thorin needed to hear. He put the vial on the nightstand before kissing Bilbo passionately. Bilbo couldn't help a smile. He was very excited to see where the things were heading. He couldn't say specifically how many times he had imagined this situation in his head but the reality won his imagination hands down. It didn't take even half a minute until their clothes were dumped into an unformed pile on the floor. Thorin pressed his lips on Bilbo's ear and nibbed it lightly. The Hobbit ears were extremely sensitive to touch and it made Bilbo stir just the right way.

"Mmh, Thorin…" Bilbo sighed.

"Remember to tell me if you're hurt", said Thorin.

"Should I turn around?"

"No, don't. I wish to see you the whole time."

"Good."

Bilbo's sighs soon turned into loud moans when Thorin pushed his fingers coated with lubricant (that by the way smelled suspiciously like strawberries) inside him one by one. He had some previous experience in carnal pleasure but nothing like this. Bilbo felt like he was floating somewhere high, and he knew he wouldn't last for long. Thorin was in the exact same state. His original plan had been moving on slowly, this being their first time and all, but understandably it did not work out the way he had hoped, since Bilbo was squirming right in front of him and moaning his name with such pleasure. Thorin kissed Bilbo's neck while pulling his fingers out of the Hobbit's hole. Bilbo let out a huff of objection.

"Be at peace, uzayang", Thorin managed. "We are in no hurry."

Bilbo snorted, and actually Thorin didn't believe in his words either. The truth was that neither of them was going to last for long, so Thorin coated his cock with the lubricant and slid inside Bilbo as slowly as he could. This part usually hurt a bit, and Thorin did not wish to hurt Bilbo more than what was necessary in this kind of action.

It did hurt, but only for a moment, and very soon the pain ceased and only pure pleasure remained. And on the top of everything it felt so right. Bilbo's breaths got shallow when Thorin started to thrust, lightly at first and then at increased pace. The both of them had trouble controlling the volume of their voices, and in the middle of their passion they paid no notice how the door of the room opened, was open for about five seconds and then closed again slowly. Bilbo tried to wrap his legs around Thorin's waist, but it was as if they had turned into lead, they felt so heavy.

"Bilbo", Thorin breathed, his eyes darkened with lust. "You don't know… what you're doing to me."

"I can guess", answered Bilbo breathlessly. He somehow managed to tangle his fingers into Thorin's hair before he reached his climax and came with a loud scream all over his and Thorin's bellies. Thorin gave some more thrusts, shaking a lot as he did so, but Bilbo's warm panting on his face was too much. He kissed his Hobbit softly before pulling himself out and settling himself to lie next to him. They both were breathless and so very happy.

"Wow", sighed Bilbo. "It was… it was…" He couldn't find a proper word to describe the feeling, even though he usually was good with words, but Thorin understood.

"It truly was", said Thorin. "Thank you."

Bilbo granted his Dwarf a weary smile. "Next time it's my turn to take you."

Thorin smiled back. "I can hardly wait", he said honestly.

Meanwhile Fíli, Kíli and Thalia were sitting by the long table in Beorn's dining room in complete silence and absolutely shocked. Thalia had covered her mouth with her hand, Kíli his both ears, and Fíli his eyes. They hadn't said a word for many minutes after they had seen what it ever was that they had seen Thorin and Bilbo doing in their room. In the end it was Thalia to say out loud what they all had in their mind.

"What the hell did we just see?"

"Whatever it was, it was terrible, and I don't even want to know what it was", answered Fíli, whilst Kíli was repeating a silent mantra, "I saw nothing, I saw nothing, I saw nothing…"

Fíli sighed deeply and continued, "Well, at least they didn't realise that we saw… whatever it is that we saw."

"We're not gonna talk about this, you know", Thalia said strictly. "It's bad enough that I most likely got an eternal trauma in my soul. I don't wanna be reminded of it."

"I saw nothing, I saw nothing, I saw nothing…"

"Kíli, shut up", Fíli and Thalia pleaded unanimously. Kíli fell instantly silent but wouldn't remove his hands from his ears.

"Unbelievable", he muttered. "I thought Uncle would've taken that vial of lubricant as a mere joke."

Thalia's head turned at Kíli like a lightning bolt. "You what? Did I just see something that's definitely not suitable for anyone's eyes just because you and your brother – I think – tried to pull a prank on your uncle?"

Fíli and Kíli nodded sheepishly. Thalia looked like she had just swallowed three pounds of lemons.

"You idiots!"

"We know!" Fíli said miserably. "Now I understand what Mama meant when she said that the men of the line of Durin are total twats."

"Well ya think!" shrieked Thalia. "I swear that one day you two will be the death of me! Exactly how bloody stupid can you two be?!"

"You know, Thalia, you sound an awful lot like Mama", Kíli uttered.

At the same moment Nori and Bofur came to the room, so Nori asked straightaway, "And what have you lads done wrong this time?"

"Let's just say", Thalia said venomously, "that we saw something we're not talking about just because these two idiots pulled a very lousy prank."

Nori and Bofur shared a significant glance. They didn't have to be geniuses to know what the trio had seen. Bilbo and Thorin didn't really try to cover their actions by controlling their volume, on the contrary, actually. Nori was sure that everyone knew what was going on behind that door that morning. It gave him a twinge to even think how Dori must've reacted to it and how his brother was ever going to shield Ori after this.

Speaking of the devil, Dori and Ori arrived to the dining room. Dori seemed to be in outright panic but Ori seemed surprisingly composed. He sat by the table as if nothing had happened and asked Fíli to pass the butter. Nori almost burst into laughter when he watched how Dori seemed to swell like a bullfrog.

"There's been quite a lot of noise this morning, hasn't there", Ori said with a tone that one normally used when talking about weather. "Interrupted my sleep rather badly, I was so tired last night."

Fíli, Kíli and Thalia stared at Ori. How on earth could he be so calm when he apparently had woken to Bilbo and Thorin who had been up to some horizontal tango? Dori was wondering the same.

Little by little all the members of the Company managed to make their way into the dining room. Gandalf was smoking his pipe calmly as ever, and didn't seem to be bothered by anything that morning. Same could not be said of Dwalin who was grunting that king or not, if Thorin disturbed his sleep one more time he'd kill him. Beorn was greatly amused of all these reactions, especially that of Robb's. Robb was looking a lot like a tomato and wouldn't say a word during the entire breakfast. He sincerely hoped he didn't have to hear those noises ever again. Jon hoped the same, and also that Arya hadn't understood what was going on. Luckily Arya was concentrated on playing with a big bunny at the moment, which led to the fact that she didn't pay attention on anything else.

"What, do you have bunnies here?" exclaimed Thalia.

"But of course", Beorn answered. "The little girl seems to like them."

Thalia got up and rushed to see the bunny with which Arya was playing. A couple of more bunnies joined them and it didn't take long until they had stolen Thalia's heart.

"If only I could own one of these", the Hunter gave an enthralled sigh. "It's a pity that when you wander here and there most of the year it gets had to keep any pets."

"By the way, shall we move on today or do we wait until tomorrow?" asked Balin a tad abruptly.

"I'd recommend you wait until tomorrow", said Beorn. "It just started to rain out there some time ago, and it seems to me it'll rain the rest of the day."

No one had anything against the idea of staying at Beorn's for one more night due the rain. It was absolutely dreadful to trek in rain, they all had learnt that. Although when Bilbo and Thorin joined them later that morning, both rather flushed, especially Thalia became interested in the rain. She put down the bunny she'd been holding and said, "I think I'm gonna go walk in the rain."

"Wait up, I'll come too!" Kíli said and went after Thalia. Couple of seconds later Fíli decided to go after them and dragged Ori with him. He had a lot to ask from the bookish Dwarf.

Kíli and Thalia were sitting on the stairs of the porch and looked as though they were choking from the held laughter. Fíli didn't wonder it for a moment, actually. It was a way for both of them to get rid of the embarrassed feeling. Fíli and Ori sat next to the duo and waited until they had managed to calm down.

"Oh by the gods, it was awkward", Thalia managed to say before she started to squirm in laughter again.

"Now see here, it's not that funny", said Fíli.

"Yes it is", insisted Thalia. "This is the most rueful thing ever, mark my words."

"Why did I have to come with you?" asked Ori. "Not that I'd complain, I'm glad to be out of there, but still."

"I'm interested in how you're so composed now, even though in Azanulbizar you went all red and hid behind your journal", Fíli explained. It made Kíli and Thalia calm down instantly. They were interested to hear the same. Ori felt very uneasy of the whole thing but he decided to tell the truth.

"Well, there is this thing that I drew in my journal the day before we reached Azanulbizar", he said and pulled up the book. He always carried it with him in case he found something to draw. "When we were taking the break that day, I was bored out of my mind, so I let my imagination fly, and for some reason it happened so that… well, see for yourselves."

Ori opened his journal from the right pages and showed the pictures on them. Kíli instantly covered his eyes but especially Thalia seemed to be very interested in them. It wasn't every day that she saw well-drawn pictures of a Dwarven king and a Hobbit half naked.

"So you drew these before we carried out our plan", Fíli cleared. Ori nodded.

"At Azanulbizar I was simply embarrassed to see in real life something I had drawn in utter boredom."

"These are absolutely brilliant, Ori", praised Thalia. "They look so real."

"Would you like to see more?" Ori asked, pleased of the praises. He didn't receive them very often, since most of the Dwarves weren't very interested in arts.

"Oh yeah definitely."

Ori paged his book and showed some pictures he had drawn of the Company during the past few days. Thalia was flabbergasted. She hadn't seen pictures this fine in ages.

Kíli was still holding his hands over his eyes. "Are those pictures gone already?" he asked. Fíli and Thalia huffed at the same time and told Kíli to stop being silly.

"They were just pictures", sighed Fíli. "Thankfully."

"Do I even want to know what you saw earlier today?" Ori asked.

"Trust me", said Thalia, "you don't."

Uzayang = greatest love

Anyway, this chapter was a lot of fun to write. Except for that stupid smut scene. How bloody hard is it to write one sex scene, seriously? Took me weeks! Mahal forbid the amount of porn I had to read for reference... But when it was done, it was oddly satisfying (not in that sense you perverts! xD)

There will also be the day when I will write some hot sex on the throne. Already done bottom!Thorin to chapter 23 (oops, spoiler).