A/N:This chapter was actually done the same time as the one before but it needed a bit more...pizzaz. I do want to reiterate that fight scenes from a first person narrative sound very awkward. When I first wrote this chapter it was full of 'I punched him, he blocked it, I did this, he did that' and so on and so forth, it feels a lot like painting by numbers, just plain stiff.
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I had no idea what to do. The robot had such a tight grip on my arm it hurt horribly and he was leading me somewhere but I just didn't know what to do! Was I supposed to fight it and get away, make a break for it or was I supposed to let myself be led away? I was supposed to get the Megacyanonite after all but I didn't even know where it was so what was the plan now? And why hadn't Will and Layla and the rest shown up yet, I had said the magic words right?
I didn't get the chance to think about it too much though because before I knew it I was right in front of Royal Pain who was standing on an elevated platform ten feet away in full Super Villain regalia but with the helmet off.
"Angelica Mercado." She drawled out my name. "Why are you sneaking around my lair?"
"How do you know who I am?"
"You were supposed to help with the Homecoming committee your freshman year but you got sick. Penny had to take over your duties."
You know, as a Super Villain she sucks but as a Student Body President she was kind of amazing. Well until she took over the school in her senior year. I even heard that she spent most of her time in solitary crying because she missed out on prom. Weird.
Before I could reply more robots came into what I shall dub the throne room, mainly because the place where she was sitting looked like a throne. The robots all had my friends with them in their SuperHero costumes, Will having the honour of two robots holding on to him for dear life. One of the robots had half their face missing and the wiring beneath was showing, I'm assuming Will punched it off.
Still as far as support goes, they sucked.
"Are you alright?" Will asked me in concern.
"I'm not sure. Am I supposed to fight the robots? They're not being particularly aggressive right now."
The problem with being a 'hero' is that you always, always play defence and in this case there was really nothing to defend against.
"SILENCE!" Royal Pain was in full Super Villain mode, boasting and ordering people around. "I see you've met my new and improved minions. I call them Nestor, their adamantium structure makes them invulnerable to even your strength Will Stronghold."She said smugly. The robot with half the face off rolled its eye at her. It was strange of her to mention how invulnerable the robots were when one had already been damaged by Will. Then the name finally registered in my mind, I knew it sounded familiar.
"Wait Nestor as in NS 2? From Isaac Asimov's Little, lost robot?" The others looked at me blankly, how did they not know this? The movie' I, Robot' was partly based off that story! Warren would have gotten the reference immediately.
"I like you Mercado." Royal Pain stated even as more robots began marching into the room for a showdown. Then her helmet came down upon her face and she began talking in that creepy automated voice. "You'll die first."
'What the hell!' is the only way to react to that. I mean seriously, she likes me so she tells her minions to kill me first?!
Guys are right, women really are bitches.
It didn't matter any way, the second she said that everyone began fighting. I did not, the robot holding my hand and I just stared at each other and did nothing. Everyone else had armour on but I was just wearing a sweater, no protective gear whatsoever. In hindsight I really should have been more prepared.
I really would have fought but his grip was way too tight and making any sudden movements while a very strong being is holding on to you seems like a stupid thing to do, if I tried to get my hand free from his rip I'd probably end up dislocating it. Eventually though we had to fight when after a few minutes of us just standing there, Will threw one of his robots away from him and it slammed into the one holding on to me and he was forced to let me go. I took the little moment of distraction to get my ray gun out of my pocket and began shooting it while backing as far away as possible.
The rest may have been able to fight their robots off but I could not. Will was punching two robots and slowly breaking them down, Layla's plants were restricting a robot, Magenta was transforming into a hamster and leading one in a wild goose chase and running up and down it to chew its wiring from the inside while Zack was shining so brightly he was blinding the robots to the point where they were just hitting each other, unable to see their target. But all I had was a measly little ray gun and the rays just bounced off the robot's body and hit random points of the walls. He just kept on advancing while I shot at him, luckily it was at least annoying him because he kept on swatting the rays away like they were little insects giving me enough time to retreat properly.
I got distracted by the sound of someone screaming (it sounded an awful lot like Magenta and she just isn't the type to vocalise her distress) and in those few milliseconds it closed in and kicked me in my side. Normally I can handle that fine but a robot meant robotic strength which also meant that when he kicked me I went flying through the air and hit my back on a slab of granite (why do villains always have random pieces of rock in their lairs?). So now I had injured ribs and my back hurt so much that were it not for the adrenalin I would not be able to stand at all. But it was still coming at me and I had run out of ammunition, everyone else was just so busy fighting so I couldn't possibly call for help. Desperate times called for desperate measures.
As quick as I could I switched off my suppressor, searched my pockets for anything I could throw, found a penny, charged it up and threw it at the robot and turned away, wrapping my arms around my head and bracing myself in anticipation of the explosion. The resulting boom was so loud for a few seconds I was still just recovering from the ringing in my ears. Royal Pain was now royally pissed off and there was stinging in my neck and back from where the little bits of robot had dug into my flesh. Not only had I exploded the robot, its parts had gone flying everywhere and even the robots that the rest were fighting were slowing down because their armours had been penetrated by robot guts aka gears and nuts and bolts.
By my estimate I had about ten minutes before I collapsed, using my powers just a little bit left me feeling horribly drained and the fact was, we still hadn't gotten the Megacyanonite.
"Sorry about blowing up the Nestor, I kind of panicked." I told Royal Pain. She ignored how nice I was being and grabbed me by the neck. It felt like I was a raggedy doll just being tossed around.
"Why are you here?" She growled, her grip just tight enough to let me breathe and talk normally while tight enough that she could lift me a few centimetres off the ground and shake me without much effort.
"Well you turned Warren into a five year old and we need to get him back to normal."
She threw her head back and laughed. "You still haven't figured it out?!"
"We did, we just need some Megacyanonite."
"And you think I'm just going to give it to you?!" She growled.
"Gwen-"
"The name is Royal Pain!" The automated voice said angrily while she tightened her grip on my neck. Not fun because I already had shrapnel digging into my skin there.
"...Royal Pain, you were pacified once, you went through puberty twice surely you can understand how horrible it is to be a child with memories of being a grown up, never taken seriously, having to wait years to get your revenge!" When in doubt, empathise.
"I see where you're going with this but why should I help you?" Hearing that voice and knowing that the former student body president is under that suit is a weird experience.
"Royal Pain I am appealing to the part of you that was horny as hell but couldn't get laid because you were too young for it physically."
She turned her face away and clenched her other hand into a fist presumably remembering things. That's what's always struck me as the worst thing of her being Pacified, to have the sex drive of a grown woman while in the body of a child, how freaky is that?! And the only people you could legally have sex with would be teenage boys who, at their best, were never really that good at sex. Everyone was sufficiently busy fighting at that point to not realise what I was doing, I'm pretty certain that if Magenta found out I was appealing to the better side of a Super Villain she would shun me. Will on the other hand would give me a hug and induct me into his 'I'm a nice guy' club.
I don't know which one of the two is worse.
"Go on." She said. Clearly there was still something in her that I could appeal to.
"From one sexually frustrated woman to another, I want to do terrible, dirty things to Warren and him being a five year old has put a major damper on those plans. You remember Warren Peace from High School, right? Hot as hell, stunning bone structure, sexy butt?"
"Yes-"
"-amazing arms and especially that scruffy look he has in the morning when he's still a bit sleepy and his glasses are tilted and you can just tell he's fallen asleep on the laptop again-" Lesson to learn: Do not get me started on Warren's appeal, I can't bring myself to stop. I was actually gushing about him to one of his arch enemies.
"Okay, okay I get it." I have outperved Royal Pain. That is really saying something because she dated and kissed Will when she was a thirty five year old something and he was just fifteen.
That does not feel good.
"I'll give you the Megacyanonite but you'll have to pretend you stole it from me." She said, finally letting go of my neck.
"How do I do that?"
"I don't know it's your story, make it up." Even through the helmet I could feel her rolling her eyes at me.
"I'll just tell them you taunted me with it and I waited until you were distracted by-"Will conveniently barrelled through a robot very noisily. "Distracted by that and then I ran for my life, that sound about okay?"
"Seems like a stupid thing to do though, taunt you with something you want."
"Without meaning to sound rude, as someone who has spent the last two days babysitting a five year old, I can honestly say that the plan to raise a generation of Super Villains was the worst idea you've had. Honestly just getting him to wear clothes is hard enough I can't imagine trying to get hundreds of babies potty trained."
"I see your point. Here." She took the Megacyanonite out of a compartment in her armour and threw it at me. It was really just a lump of rock, the way Ethan talked about it so reverently I thought it would be glowing and stuff but it just looked like a speckled grey rock. "That should be enough to power a de-pacifier."
"So you just keep it on you at all times?"
She shrugged. "It's like keeping batteries in your purse." That I understood.
"Well thanks and just for the record, if this turns out to be anything other than Megacyanonite and screws Warren up, you and I are going to have words." I said in my teacher voice.
"Damn it! It didn't even occur to me to give you something completely different!" She yelled in frustration and stomped her foot, probably very angry that I had come up with a more evil plan than she had without even trying.
"Aww don't worry, you have bigger fish to fry. Plus it probably doesn't feel right being in a fight that you didn't even start." I can't believe I was actually sitting there consoling Royal Pain after I'd just injured myself trying to fight her robots.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!
"So, now what?" I asked not sure what to do now that I have the Megacyanonite.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I've never done this before, how are we supposed to 'escape'?" At the battle on Homecoming at least I knew that we were being invaded so all I had to do was fight them off, here we were the aggressors, we barged in on her Lair so we're not supposed to completely defeat her because she never really did anything in the first place but then how and when were we supposed to make our exit?
"Get away from her!" Layla yelled. I turned around to see everyone had already finished dealing with the robots and were staring at us.
"That's your cue." Royal Pain said wryly and backed away. You know, for a Super Villain intent upon destroying my friends she's really been quite helpful. I can already think of five different instances that I can turn into great lessons in school.
Will flew out of there with Layla and Zack right behind him with their jetpacks while Magenta helped me onto her hoverboard and soon we were all out of there.
"We didn't think this through." Magenta yelled over the sound of the wind blowing around us while I hung on to her for dear life.
"Well it would have been easier if it was just me, I'm inconspicuous, and you all are not."
"You nearly died! And we didn't even get the Megacyanonite any way."
"Actually I got it." I said and handed it over. "By the way we need to make a detour to the Emergency Room."
"Why?"
"Well I'm about to faint and I think I might have cracked a rib." Now that the adrenaline had worn off I was feeling the pain in my chest clearly and then as per usual, things went black.
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When I came to, I was in the Emergency Room Magenta right next to me, now in her everyday clothes. Usually triage protocol determines when you see the doctor but since I was a Super and needed a doctor who knew of my 'special' medical history there was no telling how long I would be there. On the plus side most of the nurses already knew me due to my frequent trips to the ER and my injuries weren't really life threatening.
"You're awake." Magenta doesn't sound worried but then again she wouldn't be. Every time I use my powers just a little bit I end up fainting and she's usually been there when I woke up.
"And in excruciating pain. Tell me everything."
"There was a car accident and they're still finishing up with those patients so we have to wait a bit for the doctor to see us but it shouldn't take too long now. I sent the others to Warren's mom's place with the Megacyanonite and he was de-pacified half an hour ago and he came over here right after. You've been drifting in and out of consciousness for the past few minutes so when you started to wake up he went to ask the nurse if we can give you any pain-killers even though I told him not to bother." I react badly to most pain medications which makes pain much worse to handle. Not fun at all. "Oh, and your Mom's here." She said just as Mummy crept up behind me.
"Oh my God, Angel are you okay?!" Mummy said tugging me into a deep hug the second she saw me only to let me go once I shriek in pain. "What did you do to yourself now?!"
"It's nothing too bad Mum, just a little bit of rib issues."
"A robot kicked her in the torso and threw her into a stone slab." Magenta said informatively (the little idiot) and Mummy's eyes grew wide.
"It's okay Mum you should see the other guy." I said with a nervous laugh only to stop as the pain in my ribs starts up again.
"My god, a good parking spot is really quite hard to find nowadays." Aunt Lucy showed up behind Mummy, looking not a day over thirty five even though I knew she was actually fifty years old (and secretly the devil too), strutting into the waiting room to hand over a cup of coffee to my Mum and proceeded to fuss with my hair. "You really shouldn't wear your hair up Angelica especially not in such a messy way, can't you at least pull it into a neat ponytail or something?"
Really? I couldn't talk, breathing hurt, there was a massive bruise starting to form on my back, my arm felt raw, I had a messy looking cut on the nape of my neck and I was clutching my side and trying to take shallow breaths, but it was my hair that really needed fixing?
But before I could say any of that Warren appeared out of nowhere and handed me an ice pack. "Hold it against your ribs, the nurse said it should help with the pain and swelling, it might not be as cold as you'd like it though." I could see a bit of it had melted having come into contact with him but really it's the thought that counts not to mention I was just SO happy to see grown up Warren after what felt like a month of Baby Warren.
"Hello Warren!" Mum said brightly while Aunt Lucy's mouth dropped open.
"Hey Mrs Mercado."
"Didn't I tell you to call me Leslie?" She said and giggled. It grossed me out and I groaned, feeling sick, although that might just have been the blinding pain in my side.
"Didn't he just tell you to hold it against your ribs?" Aunt Lucy said sharply before turning to Warren with a blinding smile that she'd never ever given me. And I'm her favourite (albeit only) niece! "You must be Warren, your grandmother talks about you all the time."
"Um hi." Cue awkward silence. Well awkward for me, Madge and Warren, not for Mummy who was distracted by someone's coat or Aunt Lucy who was busy studying Warren quite intently.
"You have your father's eyes." She said and Madge and I tensed up and waited with bated breath for Warren's response.
"I've been told that before." He said pretty calmly for someone who usually bursts into flames upon the mention of his father.
"It's a good thing you didn't get his hair though, really, that frizz...I have an itch for a comb when I just think about it." She said and her hand started digging through her purse absent-mindedly and came up with a brush and she looked between the brush and me thoughtfully.
"Don't even think about it, my hair is going to stay this way until the cut is looked at and that's that."
"But it's ju-"
"No. Hell no. It's bad enough that it might have permanently marred my tattoo-"
Which is when Mum's head snaps around to me. "You have a tattoo?!"
"Angelica Mercado?" The nurse calls out my name and I say a silent prayer and start to go towards her glad to get away from the circus that is my family. "Dr Teague will see you now."
"Wait, Liam Teague?" Magenta said, appearing out of nowhere next to me upon hearing the name.
"Yes, why?" The nurse is new. I know because she wasn't here the last time I was here. And the last time I was here was eight months ago. But still, part of me wants to blame her for not knowing that the doctor's name she's just said is my ex.
"I thought he was on a mission for Doctors Without Borders?" I asked
"He was but he's been back for a couple of weeks now." She said once she realised I knew him.
"What's going on?" Warren inquired once he realised that I've been talking to the nurse instead of going to the doctor and Mum and Aunt Lucy's attention was caught as well. Madge and I had a silent conversation with our eyes.
"Angelica's afraid of going to the doctor alone, she wants you to go with her." She tells him and I flail wildly, well as wildly as the injury allows, because I thought we were having a completely different silent conversation. I thought she was agreeing to accompany me to the doctor's but apparently not. "I would go but I don't think I should leave you alone with Boss and Aunt Lucy."
Mum lets out a protesting 'Hey!' and Aunt Lucy clucks her tongue but neither of them disagree. It's a valid concern now that I think about it, I mean they could have started telling him embarrassing stories about me from my childhood and there are a lot of those.
"Are you sure?" He asked me which is lovely because people don't usually ask me. They just tell me. Or just do what they want without telling me, I pretty much get bullied by the people I love. That's just sad.
"Okay."
The second we are out of earshot and standing in front of the door I briefed him on what was going on. "Dr Teague is Liam."
"The one who propo..."
"Yeah."
"And you don't want to go in there alone because-?"
"Now that I think about it I don't actually mind it but Madge said it, so...I guess she thinks I need to save face."
"Ah. Do you need me to pretend I'm your boyfriend?" He asked very seriously. But now I just remember Baby Warren's face when he asked me things 'seriously'.
'No I'd prefer it if you actually were my boyfriend.'
Is what I'd like to say. But I do not.
"It would be the right thing to do after the stunt you pulled in front of your grandmother, but it's cool. I was just surprised that he's been back all this time. It's a good thing he's alive, the place where he was stationed was repeatedly under attack from what he said."
"You still talk to him." He said blankly.
"Well monthly check ins you know. I don't hate the guy after all. I actually like him as a person, it's the reason why I dated him in the first place." With that and a shrug that hurt a lot I pushed the door in and found myself face to face with the ex.
His eyes were still the same old bright blue and widened in the shock of seeing me here I guess but then my gaze travelled upward and noticed- "Your hair! It's gone! You got a buzz cut?! But all the glorious, glorious hair!"
Liam always had great hair, without taking care of it either, it was just beautiful, like John Stamos back when he was Uncle Jesse only better, and it was all gone! His hair was how we even began talking I asked him what conditioner he used, he said he didn't use any and I choked on my jealousy and he had to give me the Heimlich while already fixing my scrapes.
He just grinned. "It's nice to see you too Ang."
"You cut your hair!"
"You realise that you sound a lot like your Aunt Lucy right now?" Warren said with a laugh that I could not return.
"I get beat up by a robot, Liam cuts his hair AND I sound like Aunt Lucy?! Worst Day Ever!" It really was."Still, I'm glad to see you. And that you're alive." I really was, Liam is just a nice guy, a bit restrained and grumpy but nice.
I really have a type, don't I?
"I'm glad to see you too Ang although I wish you hadn't gotten yourself injured. Again. So what do we have here?" Liam went over my chart once I was done angsting over his hair or lack thereof. He then proceeded to X-ray vision me in the process of which Warren proceeded to stand very, very close to me. "Right first things first, I need to get this shirt off you and clean the wounds on your back."
"Is that necessary?" Warren asked coldly even though I was already pulling my shirt off on my good side and then slowly getting it off without jostling my ribs too much. I have practice (if you know what I mean *wink wink*).
"All her injuries are sustained on her torso so yes, it is necessary." Liam was just as frosty as Warren, it was literally as if Britt was lowering the temperature.
"I don't need to take my bra off too right?" They stopped with the glaring contest to find me on the examination table with my shirt off.
Warren seemed actually shocked at how easily I did that. I've never been self-conscious about my body and I haven't been a blushing virginal maiden for quite some time now. Shyness went out the window a long time ago.
The fact that I was also in a lot of pain and would have actually loved to stop the shirt chafing on my wounds probably helped.
"I've been naked with too many people to be uncomfortable in a bra that covers more than my bikini." I answered the unasked question.
"That's great, mentioning your exes in front of an ex and the current boy." Liam said sarcastically. Warren didn't bother correcting him so neither did I.
"I said 'naked with', not 'had sex with' there's a difference, besides it's not like I'm grading you on your performance."
B plus, Liam tries hard.
"Plus this bra makes my boobs look good." I would like to say that I did not look down my front and lean my shoulders forward to make them look bigger but that would be a lie.
"Just...turn around, I need to clean your wounds." Liam said and I obliged.
When I think about it now, it was actually kind of ...weird. There was Warren in front of me keeping his eyes trained at the centre of my forehead being the gentleman he is because I wasn't wearing a shirt and behind me was my ex-boyfriend cleaning a bunch of wounds on my back.
It sounds like the start of a porno. Not that I would know about that kind of thing because I've never watched porn. Nope. Never. Nuh-uh.
Ahem.
Still it was weirdly silent and as per usual when dealing with silences I began to ramble on incessantly.
"Why me?" I would throw my hands in the air but that would hurt. Hopefully I conveyed the requisite amount of suffering through my voice. "Why am I that unlucky? Everyone else is absolutely fine, no scrapes, no bruises, nothing and yet here I am after fainting and then waking up to horrible pain in most of me and shrapnel in my neck, what the hell is that?!"
"You're alive and your injuries aren't that bad. I'd say you were pretty lucky." Warren said wryly looking at a point above my head in an attempt to ignore the fact that I was half naked.
"No, no I'm not. I mean even Zack, who hurt himself tying his shoelaces yesterday," He seriously cut his finger on the plastic end, "is fine and I am not. That does not sound lucky to me."
"Well if it makes you feel any better if they were normal thugs you would beat them up and we would be the ones who'd be injured." Warren consoled me.
"That's true." That actually does make me better. I mean these guys are great against laser guns and stun rays and what not but in a normal fight they're completely useless. Even Magenta whom I have tried to train for so long, can't really throw a punch whereas I have broken quite a few noses in my time.
"Besides it's not like you wouldn't have injured yourself any way." Liam chimed in.
"Is this a regular thing for you?" Warren asked. I was being verbally attacked from both sides.
"It's how we met. Actually I think I had a broken rib when we first met too."
"And multiple contusions resulting from a motorcycle accident."
"And the second time was-"
"When you cut your chin open because of your powers backfiring."
"And then-"
"You fractured your leg ice skating with your niece."
"That's all, right?"
"Well after that we began dating and I started fixing you up at home so..."
"Oh yeah." Yup those were all the times with sliced fingers and the time I slipped in the shower and dislocated my arm. It's not that I'm accident prone but I tend to do stupid things that backfire with stunningly painful consequences. Even that ice skating thing, Eloise was showing me a fancy move she'd learned from her cousin and I had tried to imitate her even though I'd never been skating before in my whole life. The dislocating my arm bit was because I was trying to see if I could moonwalk in the shower and ended up falling. Like I said, stupid.
"Well you're all done." Liam had done his superpower thing and healed me completely, even my ribs were fine now. "You're still going to feel a bit raw for a few days so you should ideally take it easy but you probably won't." He sighed as I pulled my shirt back on.
"Never say never." He might as well though because until Professor Medulla comes back I'll have to take over his lessons and I still have Hoverboarding class with seniors thrice a week, there is pretty much no possible way for me to take it easy.
I tried breathing in and out deeply a couple of times to test the pain in my ribs while they looked on in exasperation before hopping off the examination table. Liam snorted in laughter before turning to Warren.
"Best of luck with this one."
Well at least I could throw my hands in the air this time.
"Warren, Angelica, there you are!" Aunt Lucy said brightly the second we stepped out of the examination room and into her line of view.
"I tried to convince him to run away and save himself from you harpies while he could but he's too chivalrous." I chirped. Aunt Lucy being too used to my taunting to respond, just smiled while the other two scowled. Actually I think she feels really proud when I call her harpy, like a Super Villain who's been called an evil genius.
"Warren dear, could you drive Angelica back home? There's a problem with some fabrics back at the workshop and the three of us need to go check on it." I highly doubt there was any problem, in fact I wouldn't be surprised if they had just decided to do all they could to shove the two of us together. While I usually would have no problem with this, the very fact that it was Aunt Lucy who was doing this made me defiant. I haven't forgiven her for the last guy she set me up with, that was a disaster beyond all disasters. I would prefer to go back and fight Royal Pain and the robots all over again than go on a date anything like that Date of Doom.
Like I said, harpy.
"Sure that's no problem at all." Warren accepted the demand.
"Exactly what is this problem that you have to rush off to handle?" I asked because I was suspicious.
"I'll tell you once you learn how to sew a chain stitch."
"Don't you have a crisis to go solve?" I chided doing a complete 180 like she expected me to and she smirked before cackling all the way out. I swear that woman is more a Super Villain than Royal Pain is, I actually want to hand out Aunt Lucy's card to Gwen so she can learn from her but then they might actually manage to take over the world and that would be bad. Gwen's agenda furthered by aunt Lucy's ability to screw with people, gives me the shivers.
Within a matter of seconds Warren and I were all alone.
"Right, well come on Mercado, you'll need some time to adjust the seat." He said once the ding signified that we had reached the parking lot.
I'd like to say that he was wrong and it didn't take me ages to adjust the passenger seat, I'd like to say that he didn't silently laugh at me the whole time and I'd also like to say that he didn't actually snort in laughter once I reminded him tartly to wear the seat belt.
But I can't.
DAMN YOU GENES THAT MAKE ME SO SHORT!
I got my revenge later on though as we were cruising by on the way back home and I excitedly pointed out each and every laundromat on the way there reminding him of his Epic Fail in laundry when he'd been going to laundromats all over town though there was one in the building itself while he swatted my head whenever I did that and I politely told him that he drove like a girl.
He took it quite well.
"Wait we're still on for the party next week right?" He asked and I agreed vehemently. Although I don't know why he asked me when it was his party we were going to in the first place, if anything I should be the one asking him that.
Holy crap the party's in less than two weeks, I have a date-but-not-a-date with Warren Peace in two weeks!
I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!