A/N The story is coming to an end...no worries, will take a few more chapters to wrap it up. Well, maybe a lot more.
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Syfy.
The mare was sucking in her breaths almost as fast and heavily as I was. I squinted my eyes as I spied two figures moving around the back of the warehouse.
The calls of my name behind me were ignored as I drew closer. I watched as red and black tresses circled, arms raised as a shock of blonde hair drew near the mare.
"Myka!" The voice of Helena's assistant pierced the air as I all but jumped off the mare.
"Here," I growled as I tossed the reins to Steve, his bright azure eyes turning a shade of deep blue, his frown caused a slight hitch to my marching foot falls.
"Miss Myka, it's Sarah, she has been ranting about you and Lady Wells and saying some…," His eyes then turned studiously to the mare. "She is saying…,"
"Steve, for God's sake, spit it out!" I started to yell, then reigning in my temper as I watched a worried look cross his face. I grabbed his hand, both of us then petting and calming the mare, more like me trying to calm myself as I watched Helena and Sarah out of the corner of my eye..
"It's just, you have been the only one who has accepted me, for me," Steve stammered, my eyes still on the conversation in front of the warehouse. I squeezed Steve's hand as I turned to my friend. "No words; just be you," I whispered. It was our secret phrase to one another when he had confessed his yearning, no, his proclivity for the same sex to me one time, long ago on a warm summer night by the loch when we were teenagers. Liam, Amanda's brother, was a lucky man, I once said to Steve.
I heard a throat clear and turned just in time to see Joshua and Charles approaching me, that bastard of a secret brother-in-law then pushing in front of Joshua up to me. I felt my fist clench as I tried to ignore the foul, dung breath of this pathetic little man. 'He is your brother in law now,' that mantra echoing in my brain as I approached them.
'To hell with that,' my heart screamed.
"We need to…" Charles stated, thinking his sorry, cracked voice would command any sort of authority over me. My eyes, my whole being was solely trained on Helena.
"Not now," I rumbled in a low tone to that wretched excuse of a man, pushing past him as I felt this overwhelming need to be by Helena's side.
Joshua stood back, his eyes wide as I marched past them. I recognized that look on his face. I had seen it many a time when we were children. Joshua would back away when my temper would grow, as when seeing something of a bullying or a wrong committed against a weaker or younger one, this look would cross my face. Only Joshua was allowed privilege and reprieve to the storm that would war across my face.
Until my Mo Ghra, my Helena.
I stopped in my Waterloo March to the gates of the warehouse as I watched Helena, her arms defiantly crossed over her chest, her chin jutted forward in a steely resolve. I knew she was grinding her teeth when I noticed her jaw muscles clenched, while she was staring death daggers in silence as Sarah was waving her hands about.
I turned my head a bit, spotting when I heard the cart arriving, Pete had gathered Christina and Claudia and driven them just behind me. He shooed them both into the side entrance as I then noticed a small crowd starting to gather near the open air market stall, surely brought there by the rants and shrill voice of Sarah.
She always had to be the center of attention at the public house. Father had made a quip or two about how much Sarah reminded him of Tracy. "Always in need of the room's attention, not like my Myka. You are too proud to need such vanity, Tracy is… well, the baby of us all. You, my girl, are your mother" he slurred to me one drunken night as I led him up the stairs to a room Sarah had procured for us at the Pub.
A perfectly coiffed hairdo and a raised eyebrow drew attention to the corner of my eye, the sound of a door slamming was barely heard over Sarah's rants. I looked up to the small corner window on the second floor of the warehouse. Leena, Mrs. Frederic's granddaughter, was standing nearby, her hand having drawn the curtain to the side. A small mop of raven hair was suddenly pulled away from the panes of glass as a shock of red hair blurred by them.
I drew in a shaky breath, I would die a thousand deaths before I let Christina be jaded by the petty, small-minded rants of a jealous bar wench. Or by anyone for that matter. I felt my hands ball in fury, my breath quicken and the blood rush to my head. No one, as long as there was breath in my being, would jade our little Miss.
The sound of me sucking in air caused Sarah to halt her ranting's at Helena, spinning to face me, her cold, cobalt eyes going wide as she stared at my fingers that gripped her right wrist. I had not even realized that I had gripped her arm in her ranting's. I had yanked her open palm that she had raised to try and slap Helena, not giving her the time to strike either of us.
I gave a slight smirk as Helena's arm broke between the two of us. The coldness from her black orbs shot up my spine. "Mo'G… " Helena then cutting me off with the flick of her head. Her steely glare focused on Sarah. Of course she could defend herself. But I would be damned before I let that wench lay a hand on my love.
"MYKA!" both women then yelling at me, I looked pointedly at Helena to halt her from this physical confrontation as I spun Sarah around and pulled her forward, yanking her back against my front, my lips just near enough for only Sarah and Helena to hear. My eyes were entrapped by my love's black, rage-filled eyes.
I shot Helena a 'trust me' flinch of my mouth as I brought my lips to Sarah's ear, "You will be but an afterthought at the bottom of the loch if you lay but a harsh thought on her." I growled, feeling her body stiffen against mine as my words sank in. "I will be damned if I let a wench like you harm my family." The harshness of the last of my words caused Sarah's head to whip around, meeting my steely gaze. I nodded my head slightly at her.
Daring her to challenge me.
Her eyes grew even wider as I pushed her forward and past Helena. Charles wrapped his arms around her waist to halt her forward momentum, stopping her fall as Joshua's jaw dropped.
"Did you all see that!" Sarah yelped, trying frantically to smooth down her dress and ego as she pushed away from Charles, a scowl on her face.
I couldn't help but laugh a bit. Even the treacherous wench could not stand the clammy skin of that bastard against hers.
"And what do you find so amusing?" Sarah hissed as she turned to face me. "Everyone knows you are in cahoots with the English. Your kin, your true blood, is not good enough for your high and mighty self. You think yourself above your own," Sarah snarked. "Saints be, you had to run off to that heathen country across the pond with the only man that would put up with..." Sarah gestured over the clothes Helena and I chose to wear.
"Shut it, Sarah," I snarled, not noticing as the townsfolk had started to move a bit closer. The milling of onlookers had escaped me as I was focused on Helena.
"And who do ye think you are fooling? These fine folks?" Sarah laughed as she waved her arm around the growing crowd. "Samuel was the only man brave enough to even talk to you," Sarah said, her chest puffing up a bit firmer as the crowd's forward momentum brought the people nearer. "I was the only one who would even give you the time of day whenever you came to fetch your drunken sot of a father. Me...only me, Myka Bering!" Sarah's eyes soften for just a second as she spoke, " I warmed your boots by the hearth; I pressed your clothes and made sure you were nourished, " Sarah uttered as she moved closer to me.
I caught the frown from Helena as she held firm standing next to Steve. Pete had come up behind both of them, nodding to me, reassuring me that he would protect them both for me.
"And then, that hussy of a so-called Englishwoman… a one Lady Helena Wells, just floats into town one day and then your own Irish is not good enough for you!" Sarah ranted. Her arm raised up to strike me. "You could have had me with but a kind word…" Sarah's voice trailing off as Charles came up behind her, pulling her hand down, then whispering into her ear, none of us privy to that utterance.
"You have no sway over my family…" I started to retort.
"Save it for the courts," Charles sneered at me, his eyes then stealing over to Helena as he started to lead Sarah away from me. "The family wishes to purge the name of Helena George from its tree," Charles's words cutting at Helena.
I started to lunge forward at the bastard, a firm hand then steering me back to my allies. Pete smiled a bit as he leaned forward, "It is not worth it," he whispered. His hand firmly gripped my arms.
We were but a hair's breadth away from the growing group, the thickness of our heated anger was spilling into the surrounding crowd. Both Charles and Helena noticed the Mayor's approach.
"And what do we have here?" the clueless man said, munching on one of my green apples as Charles's lackies followed close behind.
We all turned, almost comically, at the approach of the Mayor of the town. All heads then turned at the slamming of the warehouse door behind the Sage. Just as one might have seen the Red Sea part, Moses and his staff commanding the tides, the townsfolk were all but bowing as Mrs. Frederic came forward.
"Mayor Miller," Mrs. Frederic smiled, hooking her arm into the Mayor's arm as she started to lead him away. She produced an apple from her pocket, as if a rider leading the steed with the promise of sweet treats. "Hugo, I do believe we need to discuss the move of the warehouse," she said, shooting a stern eye toward Helena and me.
The townsfolk slowly dispersed after watching Charles then lead Sarah away. All that was left was the dry shuffle of boots against the dirt as Helena and I slowly raised our eyes to one another. We both watched as Pete helped Claudia and Christina up into the cart. Pete then shoved his hands deep in his pocket as he walked toward us. His eyes darting to a few surprised eyes, and challenging a few judgmental ones that ebbed away from the warehouse.
"I am just going to…" Pete stammered, pointing his thumb over his shoulder toward the one cart that held Claudia and Christina. Tilly, with the cart attached to her, was enjoying the sweet grass that grew near the wall of the warehouse.
"Yeah, good idea," I mumbled as we all walked over to the cart. I kissed Christina. "My little Miss, Uncle Pete is going to take you to visit Aunt Amanda and the rest of your kin there, be good," I smiled as I moved away, giving Helena ample room to converse and bid a good night to her girl.
My emotions were running the gamut for the last few hours, my rage at Sarah, my unbridled guilt...'but for what?' I mumbled to myself.
I had done nothing wrong.
"We need to converse." was all Helena said, not looking my way as she climbed into her own cart, then clicking her cheek to the horse pulling her cart. Steve shot me a worried look as he quickly handed the reins to the loose steed over to me.
"You coming?" was all Helena said as I followed, my head hanging a bit as I led the steed behind the cart, ignoring the whispers of some of the town folk as we headed toward the cottage inside the Orchard.
…
Helena had been silent the whole ride home. It broke my heart with each chance that she could have looked back at me, but didn't. I followed behind the cart, daring to look but once in a while for any sign. But none was forthcoming from Helena.
"I'll take care of the horses," I mumbled to the ground, taking the reins away from her cold hand as I led Tilly and the other two into the small barn. I sighed as I spent an extra amount of time brushing the mare and the geldings down. I made sure they were well fed, watered and loved.
"Damn it, Bering," I cursed to myself as I kept looking over my shoulder at every small sound, hoping, praying … that I would hear her footfalls coming up behind me. "No such luck," I whispered, my head bent into Tilly's neck. My shoulders shuddered from my quiet sobs, feeling like I was blinded, to be left alone in my own torment. My arms were wrapped around Tilly's neck, not noticing the creak of the small barn door.
The distance light from the lightning crash illuminated the small barn as the door opened.
"Helena? Mo Ghra?" I whispered, never looking up as my head was buried in Tilly's neck.
"My love?" The faintest of a whisper echoed toward my deaf ears.
"No, it is just my imagination," I whispered into my mare's neck. I squeezed my eyes tight, swearing the firm hand that brushed my curls away from my neck was just a phantom wish.
"I had not a clue, of Sarah," I stuttered, thinking I was confessing to my faithful mare. "Please, remember back to that time on the porch of the cottage, berating myself, my soul of insecurity bared before you, my utter ignorance for not knowing how to please you...' I mumbled. "How could you even think for one second, the guilt… the insecurity of not knowing how to love you.." I whispered into my mare's neck. "The war that waged inside of me...of not being able to … please you," my shuttered breath spilled out.
Tilly moved a bit, her nose pushing me as I gulped down my fears.
"Hell...if I had ever...I had no clue…" I choked out. My head pressed against Tilly, the feel of a soft hand brushing away the curls on the side of my neck. I waved my hand up, as if I was brushing away gnats from my neck.
"I know, my love." The warm, moist breath caressed my bare neck, my body instinctively arching into her touch.
"Helena?" I whispered with a start, my fear of thinking she would not forgive me fading with each breath as I felt myself pushed forward and away from Tilly, my hands just coming up in time to brace my body from connecting with the stall door from the phantom that pushed me there...
"She was never…" I tried to explain, gulping down my desire as Helena pressed her form against mine. My soft breaths were a contrast to the rough splinters of the barn door that pressed against my cheek.
"No," Helena growled, then I swallowed a yelp as she bit the thick part of the back of my shoulder.
"Is she what... you desire? " Helena stuttered. "Does she cause such heat ... such desire as I bring out in you?" Helena growled in a low timber as her firm fingers controlled my body's response.
"No," I husked out. My breath curled the soft wood against my lips from my warm, humid, breath as my head thumped against the hardwood. I squeezed my eyes tighter, holding my breath as I wanted to be punished? …. for what I did not understand.
"You are mine," the rough voice growled as teeth sunk into the back of my neck. I tried...I really did, but my body betrayed me, my sucking of hurried breath as my hips pushed forcibly back into her heavenly form.
"She," the disdain, the almost vile sound pressed against my bare neck. "She could never, ever deserve you," Helena growled into my ear. My shoulders shaking, my desperate longing to control my flood of sobs was all but gone.
"No, she could never make me feel anything," I tried to form words as my hand snaked around her neck, my hips bucking harshly into her being. I drew, almost wrenched, her head around. I needed her lips against mine. I whimpered as I felt the press of soft, swollen lips against mine. I sucked every breath of her life force into my lungs.
"Yes," I panted against the wooden door as I felt Helena's long fingers slip under my suspenders, tugging them down. The harsh fabric was a stark contrast against my bare skin that was exposed as she lifted my shirt up from behind. I cursed a bit as we both struggled with the clasp of my trousers, trying to unleash them from me.
"Yes," Helena whispered against my ear as we both shuddered at the feel of my trousers sliding down my legs.
I let a small curse fall from my lips as her hands then gripped my breasts. I let out a shaky breath as her thumb and forefinger squeezed, pinched and soothed the warmth of my hardened bud between her fingers.
"I love you," Helena whispered against the shell of my ear, her warm breaths causing my body to go rigid.
"Please, forgive me," I whispered. The moan almost sounded like a plea when Helena stilled herself just on the outside of my entrance. I felt a rush as her sigh brushed against the side of my neck as Helena pushed her body gently against mine.
I could not control the gasp that escaped my lips as she invaded me.
Her lips traced a soft pattern across my neck as she spoke. "My darling Myka, there is nothing to forgive."
I tried to force myself away from Helena, needing to look her in the eyes. "I feel I do not deserve such exhilarations."
My thought sounding out, my shame caused me to curl against the wood as I realized I spoke out my thoughts.
"How can you say that?" Helena all but growled against the tender spot behind my ear, my frustrations building, not just from the physical need of her, but from the guilt I felt.
"She never meant a thing to me. You are my heart, my soul," I said, my lips brushing against the rough grain of the wood. "I never knew…" Her fingers halted my train of thought. As Helena sucked in a rapid breath, the vibration echoed down and into me. I rubbed my head against the wooden door, to deflect from my growing tension, I was not ready for the release that was threatening to escape… Helena deserved more.
"My love," Helena whispered, her fingers had mostly stilled, but her desire was secretly betraying her with every breath she took. Every slight breath, every thought, was projected from her into me. I felt her pulsating fingers pushing against my tender skin. With each sharp breath, her pulse would quicken, thus the throbbing became more intense with each heightened beat of her heart.
Helena twisted, her leg hooking around mine, thus flipping me over as she laid us both down and away from the door. I ignored the soft pricks of hay pressing against my back. All I cared, all I knew, was that I could finally watch the soft golden flecks flash in those mahogany orbs.
Her fingers found purchase again, only stilling for a breath as her eyes pleaded for permission for her to resume her heavenly ministrations upon my body.
I cupped her face between my hands, my back arching into her as I held fast. I refused to let her shut her eyes, holding those orbs hostage with mine. My hips thrusting in time as I moved one arm down, gripping, relishing the strong sinew of her forearm, feeling the flexing of each tendon from the play of her fingers.
I felt the warmth of the salty tear splash against my face, her dark eyes burning as we refused to even blink, each unwilling to give up the sight of our beloved for even a moment.
Helena's lips pushed and ebbed with each thrust, just barely brushing against mine. I moaned as I captured her swollen bottom lip between my teeth. A sharp breath escaped mine as her hips bucked against her hand from the sensation. No longer able to take the teasing brush against my lips, I curled my fingers against the back of her neck. Stray black locks escaped between my fingers as our hips rocked in tandem.
Our eyes were imprisoned, wide and moist from love and adoration. My hand left her arm to cradle her face again.
"Please," I barely uttered as I felt my core start to shake. My declaration caused her to thrust harder. My hands gripped her head harder; I knew I was causing crescent-shaped marks against the back of her neck as I watched her bottom lip quiver.
"She… means...nothing," I was barely able to utter. "You are… my…"
Helena cut off my stuttered words as her tongue invaded my mouth. Her desperation, her insecurities, her all-consuming love filled my every cell.
"You will… only...love me…" Helena breathlessly said as she pulled her lips away from mine, her chest heaving in rhythm with mine as I felt my lungs ready to implode. Helena held me firm, her one arm resting all her weight as her other filled my soul as my body shook its release. "Don't. Keep your eyes open...I want to see your love," Helena pleaded, while I tried my best to focus on her as my soul was laid before her.