Author's note: The section, Late November 1928, is very lemony. Thanks for your patience!
September 1928
I had never seen the ocean before. The Great Lakes were impressive in their vastness, but there was something truly remarkable about knowing that if I dove in and swam straight I wouldn't touch land again until Portugal. Portugal seemed so exotic compared to the shore of Atlantic City, New Jersey. We were celebrating our sixth wedding anniversary with a long weekend on the New Jersey coast. My present this year was the ocean.
It had been a busy summer. When we had arrived in Philadelphia we soon realized that Carlisle's home was a bit further from campus than we would have liked. I started on my project of restoring that home while he began work and looking for a home on the same side of the Schuylkill River. We settled on a home in the Spruce Hill section, just a few blocks from the edge of campus.
I began classes a month ago on the student side and Carlisle began classes on the teaching side. I was enjoying my studies, but it was adjustment to return to school. I was taking required courses at the moment. I had wanted to study architecture, but the program didn't accept women as candidates for degree. I was debating between landscape architecture, because although they would let me design gardens I couldn't design buildings, or fine arts.
I wasn't focusing on class at the moment, though. I was focusing on the feeling of the cool sand between my toes and the hands slipping around my waist as I stared out into darkness. I leaned back against my husband, watching the water shimmer with the reflection of the lights from the boardwalk behind us.
"Are you ready to go dancing yet?" he said gently against my ear.
"Almost," I said as I rested my hands on the pair holding me to him. "I wish I could see it with the sun shining on it."
"You will in the morning from our room. We have an ocean view."
"I wish I could stand here with feet in the sand and let the sunlight wash over me as I looked out over the glistening ocean," I clarified.
"I'm sorry that it won't be possible," he said with remorse as he placed a light kiss below my ear.
I didn't want him to feel any guilt for my wish, so I said wistfully, "I'll just have to watch the sunrise from our bed."
His arms locked more securely around my body and his lips relocated to my neck. "Are you sure you want to go dancing?"
"Yes, sir. I didn't come all the way to Atlantic City to spend every night in bed," I said as I turned around still captured in his arms to face him. I gave him a mischievous grin. "That's what days in Atlantic City are for."
"I'm looking forward to sunrise, then," he said with a smirk.
"But first we dance!" I said as I wiggled free from his grasp, picked up my shoes and started making my way toward the stairs back up to boardwalk.
"Is there a time limit on dancing?" he asked.
"Until my feet hurt too much to dance anymore?" I teased as I balanced on the bottom step and slipped my shoes back on.
"You would win any dance marathon so I don't think that's a good deadline."
"Oh fine, how about 4 AM? That gives us plenty of time to get back to the hotel so we can watch the sunrise."
"From bed?" he asked hopefully.
I grabbed the front of his jacket and pulled him toward me so I could touch my lips to his then confirmed, "From bed."
I grabbed his hand and led him up the stairs onto the wooden promenade and headed for the direction of the brightly lit pier with the dance hall.
"Admit it, Carlisle. You had a good time." I said as we leisurely strolled along the boardwalk toward the Traymore Hotel a little before 4 AM. There were a few people like us meandering along, also heading to wherever they rest their head after a long night.
"I had a lovely time with you as my dance partner. You make me look good."
"Hardly. You have so much grace."
"The Charleston doesn't require much grace, Esme," he said doubtfully.
"But you make it look like it does, and your tango and waltz are fantastic."
"You flatter me."
"Only because you deserve it."
He stopped and looked at me. "I'm only a dull reflection of my partner."
I started to protest against his dullness, but I became distracted by the sound of a slap and the whimper of the woman at the receiving end of the blow. I moved faster than I should have as I rounded the corner onto the darkened ramp that lead down to the street. I stopped myself from grabbing the man who had her against the wall of the building next to the ramp.
"Let her go," I hissed.
He looked over at me with disdain. "Mind your own business, lady. This is between me and her."
"I suggest you do as this lady commands," Carlisle said firmly as he appeared beside me.
The woman looked at is with wide eyes full of fear and surprise.
"And what if I don't want to listen?" he said menacingly.
"Then I'm afraid I'll have to take action," Carlisle declared and for the first time I heard a bit of his British accent.
The man let go of the woman who slumped to the ground. He reached his hand inside his jacket, but Carlisle was faster. Carlisle had disarmed him, pulled the man's arm behind his back and slammed him against the wall before the man could even begin to grasp what had happened to him.
"Not a good idea, my friend," Carlisle snarled into the man's ear who whimpered in pain, fear or a combination of both. "Now, you are never to lay a finger on this woman or any other woman ever again because if you do, I will know and I will find you. You will rue the day you were ever born if you ever strike a woman ever again. Do you understand?"
The man mumbled, but Carlisle wasn't taking that for an answer.
"I can't hear you when you mumble. I said do you understand?"
"Yes, sir. I understand. I ain't going to touch any woman ever again. I swear it."
"Good," Carlisle said as he released the man with a shove so he stumbled a bit on the ramp. "Now get out of here."
The man didn't look back as he took off running into the night.
The woman's mouth was agape as my husband bent down over her. "I'm a doctor, miss," he said calmly.
"Really?" she said with an Italian accent. "I thought you were an angel." She tried to stand up.
"Please, don't move. I want to make sure you're not injured," he requested, but she ignored him.
"I'm alright, thanks to you and your lady. I'm sure I'll have a shiner, but it could have been worse if it wasn't for you. Thank you."
"He didn't hurt you anywhere else?"
"No," she said with a shrug. "I should have been paying more attention. He had been making the moves on me all night. I just got off my shift at Babette's. He must have followed me."
"You should go to the hospital. You should report him to the police."
"Why? He roughed me up a little, but I'm okay, and thanks to you,sir, I mean doctor, I doubt he'll ever place a toe in Babette's ever again, and if he ever does, well, I have friends there that will take care of him," she said reassuring herself and Carlisle.
"Are you sure you are alright?"
"I'm fine."
"Let me hail you a taxi then to get you home."
"That's really not necessary."
"I'm not letting you wander off alone just in case the scoundrel is still around," Carlisle affirmed and she was helpless to say no.
We walked down to the street and after a few minutes we were able to wave a taxi down. Carlisle paid the driver to take her home and to make sure she got into her building.
"I didn't even catch your names, my saviors," the woman said as she grimaced into the car. She may have been feeling adrenaline before, but the pain was starting to settle in.
"Esme and Carlisle Cullen," I said quietly.
She reached forward and took my hand. "He's a keeper, but thank you for stepping in, too. I'm Isabella. Come see me at Babette's anytime and let me repay your hospitality."
"We're only here for a few days."
"Then you must make them count. Come see me."
"We'll do our best," I said patting her hand. "Get some rest."
"You too and go get warm. Your hands are freezing, Mrs. Cullen."
The door closed and the taxi sped away into the night leaving me gripping my husband's hand beside me.
"It's beautiful," I said as I jumped out of bed less than two hours later to make my way to the open curtains.
"Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and how can I view the sunrise past your beauty?" Carlisle drew lazily from the sheets.
"Somewhere the same sun is shining brightly over Europe while the same sun is just coming over the horizon to start our day. That is beauty."
I glanced over my shoulder. He hadn't moved from where he was reclining against the headboard. "You're right, love. That is a beautiful sentiment, but again, not as beautiful as the glistening lady before me."
I looked down at my bare skin and was awed by the prisms of light I cast in every direction.
"You're sparking like a diamond. Anyone out at sea is going to think the Traymore installed a lighthouse beacon," Carlisle teased.
I gave him a reproachful look and he responded by lifting the sheet up to welcome me back. I sauntered toward him and climbed back into the bed. I let him douse the light on my body with the sheet as I straddled his thighs. I leaned forward and pressed my cheek against his shoulder with my face turned so I could see the light filling the sky. He pulled the sheet up over my shoulders and ruffled my hair with his free hand.
"Do you want to talk now?" he asked quietly.
When we returned to our room I didn't want to talk and distracted him from any discussion with a nudge up against the wall as soon as the hotel room door closed, and the vanquishing of his apparel. Naked and mine, he wasn't resisting me. There was always time to talk later.
"Thank you for stepping in for Isabella," I whispered.
"I would have stepped in without you putting yourself in harm's way," he said with a slight harshness in his tone.
"I was never in any danger," I corrected him.
"He didn't know that. While you are imposing and threatening to me because I know your strength, I'm sure he just saw you as a weak woman," he sounded worried.
"But I'm not a weak woman. I'm imposing and threatening," I said as I ran my teeth over his shoulder.
"If I had caused him bodily harm-"
I interrupted, "I hope you did when you bashed him against the wall."
"When I caused him bodily harm, it was understandable because I'm a man-"
I cut him off again. "But if I had thrown him up against the wall it would have raised suspicions because I'm a weak little woman?"
"You're supposed to be. I know you're not. But to the outside world you should not be able to rip a human apart with your bare hands," he reasoned.
"So I should let you fight my battles?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow as I looked into his eyes.
"I always will fight for you. No matter what the situation is I will fight for you. There was an injustice happening to that woman, and I would have stepped in even if you had not. I know that situation is personal to you. For our protection, please let me fight those battles for you. Let me protect you from harm and exposure."
I could hear the pleading in his voice, but also his sincerity. It wasn't a matter that I couldn't fight my own battles and he recognized that, but he wanted to be the man protecting his woman. He also didn't want me to be caught acting out of character in a way that it shouldn't physically be possible for me to do.
"I understand, Carlisle, and I'll do my best to respect your wishes, but don't think for a moment that if you are ever in danger that I won't fight for you."
"I would expect nothing less, Mrs. Cullen," he said with a bit of relief in his tone. His hand slid down my back, the sheet falling with it. The sunlight reflected off my arm and back. His hand in my hair caressed the back of my head. "But are you alright, my love?"
"I didn't think about my experience. I just needed to protect her," I said, my voice dull. "It was instinctual. I heard her pain…I felt her pain…to my very core. I had to stop it. What would have happened to her if we hadn't intervened?" I shuddered at the thought and felt his arms tighten around me.
"But we did and she went home only slightly disheveled and with a bruised cheek. She was right when she said he won't bother her again."
"Why are men so cruel?" I asked.
"Not all men and I wish I knew. If I understood a way to cure the world of man's cruelty I would administer it universally," he said with regret in his voice.
"No, you're right, not all men. And there are more good men than bad men. Just the bad men leave bruises and scars," I said bitterly.
"I gave you scars," Carlisle said quietly.
I shook my head. "We won't have that discussion again. It's not the same and you know it," my voice rising.
"You're adorable when you're worked up," he teased as he loosened his grip around me. I pushed against his chest to sit up and looked down at his smile, the laughter hiding in the corner of his lips. The sun was shining off of him now, too.
"Where did the accent come from?" I suddenly remembered.
"I have no idea. That was strange, wasn't it?" he said with a coy smile and a shake of his head.
"Apparently the British Dr. Cullen is not to be toyed with," I taunted.
"Apparently not," he said adopting the accent of his homeland again.
"It's kind of sexy," I said. "I'm sure a woman could be easily seduced by that voice."
"Any particular woman?"
"I better always be the only one."
"There will never be another."
He flipped me over onto my back causing me let out a little shriek as he pulled the sheet up over our heads, temporarily forgetting the sun.
October 1928
Philadelphia
I stormed up the front steps and into the house with Carlisle on my heels. He caught the front door before I slammed it in his face.
I threw my purse and books down on the side table and turned on him as I heard the door click behind me.
"You embarrassed me!" I yelled.
"He was coming on to you!" he yelled back.
"He's part of my study group and my group project!"
"He was walking too close," he said with a slight growl.
"He was walking me home like a gentleman," I clarified.
"What about the other women in your group? Why didn't he walk them home?" he asked heatedly.
"Because they live in the same dormitory and walked home together," I explained. "You overreacted!"
"You were both laughing."
"We were laughing about our boorish professor. Is there a law against laughing?" I couldn't believe we were having this conversation. I couldn't believe Carlisle's behavior.
"Propriety, Esme. You're a married woman," he insisted, as if I would ever need a reminder.
"Manners, Carlisle," I spat back at him. "This married woman is your wife and you are being ridiculous." I was furious.
"He was looking at you like-"
"Like what?" I yelled.
"Like he…thought highly of you."
I shook my head in disbelief. "And that's a problem if he 'thought highly of me?'"
"He was interested in you and you were letting him walk you home," Carlisle said in some attempt to justify his reaction.
"He insisted that I not walk home alone so late and how could I refuse that?"
"Why so late?" Carlisle asked, taking a different route.
I let out a big sigh over once again having to explain my actions. "We were studying as study groups do in the library. Carlisle, I'm not interested in him in anyway other than as a study partner and I guess I would consider him a friend, but I don't know if I can still count him as one after your rudeness to him."
"I thought you said as part of a group."
I had enough. "Stop this! Jealousy like this does not suit you."
"I'm not jealous," he admonished, but I wasn't believing him.
"Oh really? Then what do you call this behavior and this reaction?"
"Concern," he clarified.
"Concern? For what?" I asked dryly.
"Your reputation."
"I wasn't holding his hand. There was plenty of space in between us regardless of what you think. I wasn't intending to invite him in," I explained.
"I heard what he was saying. He was flirting with you," he insisted.
"And what if he was? I'm sure not a day goes by that a nurse, patient or a student doesn't attempt to flirt with you," I said, attempting to turn the conversation.
"That's ridiculous," he said gruffly, but I knew I was right.
"The first night I met you the nurse dropped the chart in her hand at the sound of your name!"
"That doesn't prove anything."
"It proves that I'm married to a desirable man who can't help but cause women's hearts to flutter with his fantastic looks and caring disposition." I maintained, every word true.
"You're changing the subject," he said.
"The subject of your ridiculousness? No, I promise you we are still on it!"
He scowled at me as we stared each other down. This fight was silly and unnecessary, but I had to be able to complete my studies. I knew how I looked. I knew some men would frighten away from me, sensing that there was something different about me. I knew some would see the ring on my left hand and avoid me, too. Then there would always be a few who didn't see, or chose to ignore, rings or sense the potential danger. They would flirt or be extra nice or maybe some men were just that – nice. How could he assume that I would ever give into anyone else?
"Look at me, Carlisle. Men are going to flirt with me and maybe even attempt to seduce me-" A growl ripped from his throat, but I put a hand up to silence him as I continued. "BUT, it doesn't matter. They do not matter. None of them are going to turn my head. None of them are going to succeed. The only man I have ever wanted or will ever want is you. Even when you are acting like an idiot, you are still the only one."
I could see that he was pondering my words – deconstructing them and wrapping his mind around them. His face changed to penitent.
"You are beautiful," he said as to assert my claim.
"I know," I said wryly. I walked over to pick up my books and made sure I didn't damage them in my fury. They were intact. I started for the stairs with my books in my arms.
"Esme, wait," he said reaching for my arm. I paused on the bottom step.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I was acting irrationally."
"I have homework to do. I may have to do more studying on my own if you continue to intimidate my friends."
"Esme, I said I'm sorry." I could hear the sincerity, but I wasn't ready.
"I know, and I may be ready to forgive you in a little while, but for now I do have work to do."
I continued up the stairs and across the hall into my study, closing the door behind me. I set down the books and took off my coat and hat, tossing both onto the small sofa before taking a seat at my desk. I opened a textbook to read a chapter, but soon found myself just staring at the page.
I had heard him go into his office, and there was a part of me that wanted to run to him and tell him it was fine and that I forgave him. I wasn't letting that part win me over. He had been rude to my friend. My classmate, Raymond, was a nice boy and he was nice to everyone, not just me. I had seen him as nothing but friendly, but now Carlisle had me questioning Raymond's behavior and I didn't want to do that. He had swooped in like a possessive and protective animal, marking his territory and reminding Raymond of what belonged to him. Carlisle's tone had been a bit too unduly harsh with someone who had done nothing wrong. I understood Carlisle's need and maybe if Raymond had been overtly flirting with me then I could accept his actions, but I saw Raymond's bewildered expression. He had done nothing wrong, but was made to feel criminal, and that I couldn't abide.
A sound interrupted my bewilderment – the sound of a bow running over the strings of a centuries old violin. Bringing that instrument with me from Chicago had been one of my best ideas. It opened up the door to more discussion about Carlisle's past, and it brought music that we thought had left with Edward back into our lives. He didn't play often, but when he did I felt it to the core of my being. I sat still in my seat listening. I didn't recognize the first song he played, but the second…
I was at the door knob in an instant, but I pulled my hand back from it. Was it trying to taunt with my emotions or draw me to him? Maybe the song was an act of contrition? That had to be it. Carlisle's not vicious. He was playing this song for my forgiveness.
I wandered down the stairs listening to the beloved melody and then down the hall to his office. I leaned against the open doorway watching him play. He appeared to be in his own world as he played the song that Edward had written so long ago – the same one that served as the song we first danced to as man and wife as Carlisle hummed it.
When he finished he came back to this world and met my gaze.
"Was that for him or for me?" I asked gently.
"A little bit of both."
"I didn't know you could play it."
"I've been practicing it when you've been out. I was going to surprise you with it at some point. Maybe Christmas, but I guess it's no longer a surprise."
"That was lovely. You keep giving me different ways to hear my favorite song – first with your voice and now like this."
"I still need more practice."
"It sounded perfect to me."
He set down the violin on his desk and appeared in front of me. "I didn't mean to upset you so. I never want to hurt you and I'm sorry that I embarrassed you. When is your next study group? I'll come by and apologize in person."
I chuckled and touched my hand lightly to his shoulder. "Oh no, you are not coming by. I do not need the other women in my group flirting with my husband."
"Am I forgiven?" he asked sheepishly. I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my lips.
"Play that song for me again and then, yes, you are forgiven."
"As you wish, my love."
I sat down on the leather couch. I watched and listened as he Carlisle wrapped me once again in my favorite tune. What could have filled me with sadness and longing instead filled me with happiness.
When he was finished I applauded and declared him forgiven before returning to my studies. I may have forgiven him, but there was still work to be done.
Late November 1928
I sat on the leather couch wearing a book in my hands and nothing else. It had been two very long weeks.
Finals were quickly approaching and a bad bought of influenza was sweeping through Philadelphia. Carlisle was putting in long hours and the hospital and that was in addition to teaching. When he came home it was usually with a pile of paperwork from charts to finish and papers to grade. With eighteen credits, I was busy with study groups and projects. We had run into a rare dry spell and I aimed to remedy that tonight.
I never had to be blatant in my overtures before. I never had to sit naked and waiting for him. It had never been difficult to get Carlisle to take me to bed or vice versa, but our hectic schedules were having a detrimental effect on our love making. When we finally had a significant amount of time together several days ago, we had to use that time to hunt. This night, he was going to be the center of my attention – that is if he ever came home.
It was nearing eleven at night when I heard him at the door. I took my position – looking engrossed in my studies without a stitch of clothing on, and waited for Dr. Cullen to help me with my homework.
"Esme?" he called out as I heard him approaching.
"I'm in your office," I called out cheerfully.
"What are you doing in h-" the word caught in his throat as he walked through the door and his eyes landed on me. He swallowed and took a deep breath before saying. "Is there something I can help you with, Mrs. Cullen?"
"I just was hoping you could help me with my studying - reviewing actually," I said plainly.
"And what are we studying?"
"Human anatomy."
"I happen to be somewhat of an expert on that subject," he said with a grin, not hiding his amusement at the situation.
"So I've heard. So you'll not worry about anything else this evening and help me study?" I asked hopefully. I saw him wince slightly. He knew we had been disregarding each other.
"Of course I will," he said.
"Good," I said as I stood up. I saw his eyes wander over my body, but I ignored it. "As you can see, I've reviewed female anatomy already. I think it's time to move on to male," I said as he took off his jacket and I reached for his tie.
"Where do you want to start?" he asked and reached to place his hand over mine.
"I thought I would start at the top and work my way down."
"Whatever you wish. This is your review," he said, not hiding his smirk.
"And it's long overdue," I said as I made quick work of all material covering his upper half before reaching my hands up to run through his golden hair. "I'll do a cursory review since I've already done a complete review on myself. I'll get more in depth when I get to an area where there are major differences. Does that suit you?"
My husband looked surprised, but not upset in anyway. "That suits me just fine."
I had him perch on the edge of his desk so I didn't have to reach quite as far to identify his skull. I touched my lips to each part as identified it. "Face…ears…neck…oral cavity…" Cursory review was right. I had already really studied earlier that day and really didn't need to study at all. I loved the feeling and the taste of his skin under his lips. I moved down over his clavicle and shoulder, running my teeth over his flesh, but never breaking the skin. I worked down his right arm over his hand, each finger and his palm. I stood him up and turned him around so I could identify and touch his spine and every muscle in his back. He was glorious from behind – so sculpted it made me heady. As I reached the "L5" vertebrae I resisted the urged to reach around and undo his pants and pull them to the floor.
I started at the palm of his left hand before heading up the back of his arm my tongue touching his elbow. When I reached his shoulder, I turned him around so he was facing me again. I could see the desire in his eyes. "You are doing very well with your review, Esme."
"Thank you," I said with a grin. "You are making it very easy for me to remember. I think I need to review your clavicle again," I said with another kiss. He chuckled lightly as he ran a hand through my hair. "Jugular notch…sternum…" More kisses as I identified each part of the sternum. "Nipple…" And more, as I took my time identifying every muscle in the pectoral region. How could I not take my time worshiping his god-like chest?
I moved down to his abdomen, licking across his stomach and navel, "umbilical." It was time for him to shed the rest of his clothing. I got completely down on my knees and pulled off each shoe and sock, before moving up to remove his belt and undo his pants. I pulled everything down in one swift motion and pushed him over to sit on the couch. He reached for my waist to pull me up onto his lap, but I pulled back and stopped him.
"That just won't do, Carlisle. You see, I'm done yet," I said, slipping in between his knees. "Now, where were we? Ah, hip," I said tracing my fingertips over his hips. "And thighs," I added as I leaned over and kissed his thigh, my loose hair falling over his erection. His hands returned to my hair as I kissed up his thigh getting closer to the target. I was trying not to think too hard anymore and just do. His hand caught in my hair and the other tucked under my chin pulling my gaze up at him.
He looked alarmed, but also very aroused. "Esme?" he questioned.
"I want to. You know I would never do anything I wouldn't want to do."
"But you don't have to."
"Are you saying you don't want me to?" I questioned.
He swallowed and I could see the burning in his eyes. He wanted me to, but also wanted to say the right thing. "My love, I can't deny that I want you to, I just don't want to upset you."
"I'm not upset. I want to. I love you."
"I know, Esme. You never have to do anything for me to know that."
"I want to," I reaffirmed.
"I'm not going to stop you, but you can always stop."
I nodded and kissed his thigh again. I slowly moved in, running my tongue over his "scrotum," I whispered. The flavor of his skin was still him, but the effect on him was something different. He buckled for a moment, his knees turned inward toward me and he let out a noise that I had never heard from him before. I paused, but his hand fell to my shoulder.
"That was a good noise, Esme. I assure you," he said anxiously.
My fingers touched right next to my tongue at the base of his erection and he let out a strangled moan again. I couldn't help, but grin. I liked this reaction from him.
I ran my fingers along the bottom from base to tip as I nuzzled the hair right above it with my nose. I had wanted to try this for a while, but I hadn't known how to approach the subject or him. A private anatomy tutorial definitely had been one of my better ideas.
I held his length in my hand – feeling the weight, the size, and the hardness. I glanced up at his face and he looked ready to explode.
I bit my lip, and with a brash look asked, "Should I review the structure of the penis?"
"Esme Cullen, you're going to kill me."
"Luckily that's not an option," I said and then ran my tongue along the path my fingers had just taken. I believe he growled the entire time – one long guttural growl. My tongue touched the tip and I didn't find it offensive. The wetness tasted similar to the venom in his mouth, and that was something I craved. I licked more and introduced the tip to the inside of my mouth. I could do this.
I looked up at him again and his pleading eyes were popping out of his head. I had seen him worked up before at my touch, but never quite like this. My eyes left his beautiful face and wandered down his gorgeous body that adored. He had given me so much pleasure and I knew I had given him much in return – this was a boundary I hadn't been ready to cross for a long time, but it was time.
I took more of him into my mouth. I didn't have to worry about gagging as those muscles wouldn't react that way anymore. I slowly slid further, taking my time, until my nose was one again at the soft curls. Even if I looked up, I wouldn't be able to see his face at this angle, but I heard something akin to a whimper. I slid off, and then repeated slowly picking up speed as I was getting faster, his cries were getting louder – my name and nicknames was interspersed with groans. I heard something crack, but didn't look up to see what he had been holding on to. His hands weren't on me.
Finally his hand did touch me on the back of my neck. He could barely form a cohesive sentence – "Esme! I'm going to…I can't hold back…stop, please…I don't want to…Esme…"
I could tell by the contractions what he was trying to tell me, but I wasn't stopping. I pulled back and gave him a look telling him as much before continuing to finish what I had willingly started. A moment later he released with a guttural cry like nothing I had ever heard from him before. Our neighbors…heck people several streets over must have heard him. I swallowed, and, as I had tasted before, it was venom. It wasn't vile at all and if it got that kind of reaction from him it was something I definitely would do again.
When he was done he collapsed back against the cushion of the couch. I slowly released him from my mouth and licked him one last time as I did. I leaned over and kissed the inside of his thigh as he had so often done to mine when he finished pleasuring me. I then rested my cheek against his thigh.
As I sat there, I could feel the wetness running down my own thighs. I realized how much I wanted his touch. I had been giving every attention to him as I had desired to do, but I had been ignoring my own desire in the process. Luckily, he wasn't going to let that stand. He moved at a speed that would have been a blur to humans as he picked me up as if I were as light as feather. An instant later my back was flat against the leather of the couch.
He looked down at me with raging lust in eyes and I was very content being the object of his desire.
"I haven't completed my studies," I protested with a wicked grin.
He rolled his eyes at me before lifting my right leg into the air and ran his hands from my thigh to my foot while saying, "Thigh, knee, calf, ankle, foot, toes, done."
He then leaned over me ferociously capturing my lips, pressing his body against mine. He was aggressive in his hunger for me, which was not something I was use to as of late. With the exception of the first year – or two – of our marriage and times when we had built up desire, our time together was usually gentle and loving. We had so much time to ourselves since we were living on our own that there was usually no need for pent up desires. We had our privacy and we usually had time. This was more than just two weeks of abstinence – this was something I had awakened.
His mouth was everywhere. His hands kneaded my flesh. He buried his length inside of me and we both cried out. I met every thrust as he slid in and out of me like a man possessed. His hands slipped from my breasts and I mewed at their loss, but his arms slipped underneath me to lift me up onto him as he continued to plunge into me. From this position, he could move his mouth to where his hands had been as he took a swollen nipple between his teeth. I felt my muscles tightening, clenching around him. I was yelling his name, as my body went over its edge, releasing the built up pressure and as I did, I did something that surprised me – I leaned into his shoulder and I bit him. He gasped at my teeth, but it also set him off as I felt him stiffen and then release inside of me.
I tried to get off of him – to flee, but he held onto me.
"Where are you trying to go?" he murmured, his lips against my temple.
"I'm so sorry," I said with a whimper, my head hanging low.
"There is nothing you need to apologize for," he said calmly, his face had moved to my hair.
"I bit you!" I argued.
"I bit you!" he protested with gaiety in his voice. "A lot!" he added, his lips now at the mark on my throat – he kissed it gently.
"That's not the same," I grumbled.
"Esme," he said, as he took my cheeks between his palms and raised my head to look at him. "I'm not mad."
"You should be! I hurt you."
"In a moment of passion you sunk your teeth into me. I'm not angry. I'm not hurt."
"But it won't go away."
"So I have a visible sign of my wife marking her territory – marking me as her own. That's a scar I'll proudly display, but the fact is that it will usually be covered since it's on my shoulder. You didn't bite that hard," he said reassuringly.
My eyes looked over at the mark. "I broke the skin. Did it hurt?"
"When you did it?"
I nodded and touched the spot with a finger.
"I was more surprised than anything, but it did sting."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not," he said as he turned his head to look over at the scar. "It is a statement piece. It says 'Property of Esme.' I'm not angry or hurt in any way, my love. Please, don't be upset. I've been enjoying myself way too much tonight and I'm not ready for it to end, especially with you distraught."
I kissed the spot where my teeth marks were eternally marring his flesh. "I love you," I said against his skin.
"And I love you," he said as I sat up, my legs still astride his as we were still connected.
"I've been enjoying myself, too," I said touching his cheek.
"Everything?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Everything," I confirmed. "Especially your response. I'm not going to be able to make eye contact with our neighbors."
"I was a little loud, wasn't I?"
I giggled. "To put it mildly."
"You are incredible, Mrs. Cullen."
"So I've been told by a Dr. Cullen," I said with a laugh.
His hands slid up and down my sides. "Do you have more studying to do?"
"It can wait."
"Do you feel properly prepared for the human anatomy portion of your exam?"
"It was on my mid-term," I said with a smirk. "But I'd be happy to review it again."
I saw the amusement in his eyes. "And I would be happy to help you."
"Then let's get to it," I said as I pressed my lips to his.
December 25, 1928
The fire burned in the fireplace as I sat on the sofa with a book on my lap. The house was so quiet and I was feeling particularly lonely.
I loved Christmas. It was usually a day of warmth, family and happiness, but for the first time ever I was spending it alone.
Carlisle always took the Christmas morning shift so that his colleagues with children could be home when they awoke to discover what Santa had left them. It was very kind of him and it was usually fine because Edward and I would make ourselves merry while he was at work. We would sing carols or play some ridiculous game or find some other way to amuse us until Carlisle arrived home. Then when we were all together we would exchange presents.
Last year was our first Christmas without Edward. While it was difficult, we were in Denali so there were others around to keep my thoughts occupied.
I walked over to the front window and looked out to the street. I could hear the church bells from St. Mary's in the distance. I watched the people passing by – mostly happy families. Our neighbors, the Orf's, appeared to be heading home as they passed by. Their little girl, Ruby, looked over and caught my eye. She smiled and waved at me. I couldn't help but smile and wave back. She opened her mouth and yelled, "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Cullen!"
Her parents and her two siblings were surprised by her outburst, but then they saw me, too, and waved. Mrs. Orf, Margaret, waved her family on and headed for our front door. I met her there just as she knocked.
"Merry Christmas, Esme," she said cheerfully as I opened the door.
"Merry Christmas, Margaret," I greeted her. "Would you like to come in out of the cold?"
"Just for a moment," she said stepping in as I closed the door behind her. "Is Dr. Cullen here?"
"No, he's working this morning."
"So you are all alone? On Christmas?" she asked with sadness for me.
"It's fine. He'll be home in a few hours."
"You shouldn't be home alone. Please, come over for lunch. Ruby is fascinated by you. I'm sure she would love to show you her presents."
"She is? Why?" I asked, very surprised by this bit of news.
"I shouldn't have told you that," she said regretfully.
"But you did, so I have to ask again, why?"
"She says you like the princesses in her storybook. She thinks you're a fairy tale character and that you are magical."
I couldn't help, but laugh. "That is adorable and very sweet."
"I don't know where she gets these ideas."
"She gets them from her imagination."
"I figured as much," she said with a chuckle. "But will you come over? We would love to have you."
"Thank you so much for the invite, Margaret, but I should start cooking soon."
"You and Dr. Cullen would be welcome for supper as well," she said with an urging smile. "We have other family coming over later. There will be plenty of food."
"We wouldn't want to intrude…"
"You wouldn't be," she insisted.
"Let me see how my husband is feeling when he gets home. He's working a double shift."
"God bless him."
"I don't want him to come home to an empty house."
"Well, when he comes home, please feel free to come over any time."
"That's very kind of you."
"You're welcome, Esme," she said giving me a hug. "You need to get back to that fire. You're freezing," she said with alarm.
I smile and laughed. "I'm one of those people who is always cold. I'm fine. Really."
"Merry Christmas and I hope to see you later," she said as she opened the door.
"There's a strong possibility that you will," I said, then we wished each other good day.
It was a few hours later that I met my husband at the door. I was in his arms before he had time to remove his coat or even set down his bag.
"I missed you," I whispered.
"I'm sorry that I left you alone today," he said immediately assessing my distress.
I changed the subject. "The Orf's invited us over. Their daughter thinks I'm a fairy tale character."
Carlisle looked confused for a moment and then pleased. "Do you want to go?"
"As long as you don't mind forcing down Christmas dinner."
"You want to be around others?" he questioned.
"It's not that I don't want to spend some alone time with you, but it's Christmas…"
"And you want to be surrounded by the warmth of family," he affirmed.
"Are you upset?"
"Of course not. It was very nice that they invited us. We can go over so you can amaze Miss Ruby."
"Thank you," I said kissing his cheek.
"What time are we expected?"
"Any time," I said a bit too eagerly.
"Let me change my clothes and then we can be on our way," he said kissing my forehead and releasing me from his arms.
"Merry Christmas, Carlisle," I called out as he was already half way up the stairs.
"Merry Christmas, Esme," he responded.
I sat in the living room waiting for him to return pondering our conversation. When he walked in a few minutes later I felt the need to clarify something.
"You are my family, Carlisle," I stated.
"I know that, my love," he said, looking rather surprised by my declaration.
"You said about being surrounded by the warmth of family. I just want you to know that you are my family."
"Esme, I just meant that you wanted to celebrate today with others."
"But this isn't a substitution for you or for Edward," I said with a shake of my head.
"The elephant in the room?" he questioned.
"Or not in the room," I said quietly.
"Walking in the door and not being greeted by the both of you – I feel his absence, too, Esme, but I'm not going to mourn him right now. We're going to go over our neighbors and have a merry holiday. We'll stay as long as we're comfortable with and then we'll come back here later and exchange gifts. Does that sound alright with you?"
I nodded and he stepped forward to take my hand to help me up. As we walked through the doorframe he paused and kissed me under the mistletoe.
"Merry Christmas to you my best friend, my lover, my family, my wife," he said as he brushed his thumb over my cheek. "You make every day worthy of celebration and merriment."
We had a wonderful time at the Orf's. It was nice to socialize, and I had a lovely afternoon reading fairy tales to Ruby and her cousins, who were all convinced that I came off the pages of the book.
The children were already in bed by the time we headed home.
"We should do this more often," Margaret said as we put on our coats. "Thank you for placating the girls."
"I had a wonderful time with them," I said truthfully. "Thank you for inviting us."
"You are always welcome," Mr. Orf said with a smile as he wrapped an arm around his wife's waist.
We bid them good evening and headed out into the cold night for the short walk back to our doorstep.
"I had a very nice time, Esme," Carlisle said, answering the question that was on my mind as he closed the front door.
"Oh good!"
"They are a very nice family and very welcoming," he said.
"I agree," I said as I removed my hat. "I had fun," I said with a laugh.
"Is it time for presents?" he asked.
I smiled as I took his hand to lead him toward the tree in the living room, but he stopped again in the doorway for a kiss.
"It has to be done," he said with a mischievous grin before kissing me.
I clung to him for a moment.
"Life feels so perfect at the moment," I murmured against his shoulder.
"It is perfect, Esme. It truly is," he said before kissing me once again.
He stoked the fire and we took a seat on the ground by the hearth to exchange our gifts to end what had turned into a perfect Christmas day.
Thank you to Melissa and Ali for their beta work.
"Miracle and Mischief" is now four chapters along. A new chapter is coming soon!
FYI - I contributed a story for Fandom Gives Back. It's Edward and Bella's wedding day from Carlisle's POV. Today is the last day to contribute to receive the author compilation.