It was a few hours after the massive discovery that EZ finally approached Roxy again. He knew she was upset, painfully so, and he wanted to give her some time before attempting to speak to her again. When he finally did, he found her hovering over Mateo as he slept in his deceased uncle's childhood bed. EZ watched with a small, sad smile on his face until she acknowledged his presence.

"He's the best thing that ever happened to me," she whispered. "There was so much shit swirling around when I was pregnant and right after he was born, the whole experience was fucked up, but the moment he was born nothing mattered but him."

"He's a lucky kid," EZ said with sincerity.

"Is he?" Roxy asked, turning to look at EZ with accusing eyes. "You had a great childhood, EZ, and you see the way he's growing up, how he's being raised, is he really a lucky kid?"

Fighting a frown, EZ nodded. "I do. He's got an amazing mom, one of the best I've ever seen, and he is so loved, not just by you and Alvarez but by me and Bish, the whole damn club. We love that kid, any one of us would go to bat for him and you, so yeah, I think he's a very lucky kid."

Roxy began to cry, burying her face in her hands, and slowly nodded. "I'm not awful, I didn't play anyone or try to pin this baby on Esai, it was, it was really fucked up."

"What happened?" He asked, eager to know the truth.

"I keep trying to forget it," she laughed ruefully. "I keep telling myself the lie is the truth and after a while, you start to believe it."

"I get that," he nodded.

"You really wanna know?"

EZ nodded. "Yeah, I do, and I think you need to get it out."

Roxy got up from beside Mateo and, kissing him on the head, slipped out of the bedroom and pulled EZ down the hall to her mother's bedroom. "I was 18, I was stupid and he was... irresistible.

Five Years Ago*

"How long?" Jax growled, his eyes burning holes in Happy's bare chest. When Happy didn't answer fast enough for Jax, he asked again. "How long have you been fucking my sister?"

"Six months," Happy admitted.

Jax's jaw clenched. "So as soon as she turned 18?"

"Yeah," Happy sighed.

Jax shook his head and turned away from Happy. "She's a fucking kid she's my SISTER and with all this shit going on you really think this was a smart move?"

"I didn't think, Prez," Happy said.

"You thought with your dick," he snapped.

Happy didn't have anything to say and without Jax asking him questions the room filled with a tense silence. From behind the locked bathroom door, Roxy spoke up.

"Jax, get out, I need to get dressed."

His ice-cold eyes hit the door. "We gotta talk," he said, walking toward the door. "I'm serious."

As soon as Jax left, Happy locked the apartment door before telling Roxy she could come out. When she did, her face was red from sobbing and her cheeks wet with tears.

"What's he gonna do?" She whimpered.

"Can't do anything really," Happy shrugged, "He'll get right with it, though." That meant they'd be in the ring and Happy would take a beating. It was a light sentence but he could see her face drain of color. "It's fine. I can take it."

"What are we gonna do?" She asked him quietly.

Happy shook his head. "He's right, Rox."

"He's right?" She asked dubiously. "What happened to your whole fuck em attitude?"

"I was pussy drunk," he snapped. "You're hot as fuck, you're young," he shook his head, "You're his little sister."

"Oh, so I was just a trophy to win once I was legal?"

"Basically," he said calmly.

"Fuck you," she snapped. "I never even fucking cared about you either. Just working out my dead daddy shit on your weak old ass dick."

Happy swallowed the sting from her words and watched as she quickly threw her clothes back on and charged toward the door. "I'm sorry, Rox," he said sadly, finally showing some emotion.

"I'm sorry I ever let you touch me," she growled. "You're like a goddamn child predator."

"Jesus Christ," he huffed. "You're as psycho as your mom."

Roxy didn't give him the satisfaction of proving him right by freaking out further. Instead, she stormed out, running into Jax by their father's Knucklehead. She stopped midstep and glared at him.

"Just don't," she said.

"You and me gotta talk, kid."

"No, we don't," she said forcefully. "It's done, we're done," she told him, "So, no, no talking."

"Roxy," he called after her.

"What?" She snapped, turning around to face him. "I really like Happy and it was more than just fucking, Jax, but it doesn't matter anymore, so just leave it."

"I'm sorry, Rox," he said sadly. "I'm not mad at you."

"Well, I'm mad at you," she sneered. "That was so embarrassing, Jax. You walking in on me and Hap like that then berating him like your my father and he's some high school kid?"

"He's too old and he lied to me," Jax said as if it explained anything, "He knows better."

"I would have thought you'd want me with a Son," he said sadly.

"That's the last thing I want for you," he admitted shamefully.

Roxy wiped her tears and nodded. "Can I go, please?"

"I love you," he said, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I love you too," she huffed before running off.

It was a tense eight weeks between Jax, Happy and Roxy with everyone feeling it but having no inclining as to what the problem was. Everyone involved claimed nothing was wrong and they knew it wasn't a plausible lie but they didn't care.

With a lump in her throat and tears in her eyes, she knocked on Jax's door. Tara answered, looking equally upset, and welcomed her sister in law into the house.

"You okay?" She asked Roxy.

"No, is Jax here?" Roxy knew he was, his bike was in the driveway.

Tara nodded. "Yeah, he's in the garage."

Roxy walked through the house and sheepishly entered the garage. "Hi."

"Hey," he said, surprised to see her standing there. "What's wrong?"

"I don't have anyone else to go to, Jax," she whimpered.

His face went dark. "What happened?"

"I'm pregnant," she sobbed, "It's Happy's."

"Jesus Christ," Jax groaned with disappointment. He pulled her in for a hug and held her as she cried. "It's okay. You're not alone. You're not doing this alone."

"There's also," she hesitated, "Something else."

Jax tried to reserve judgment but she knew him too well and could see it in his eyes. "What is it?"

"I'm seeing someone," she huffed. "It started out as a petty spite thing but, I really like him."

"How long?" Jax asked, already forming a plan in his head.

"Well, we met when I was still with Happy," she said shamefully, "But didn't really start anything till about three months ago, I know it's not his though."

"How far along are you?" Jax asked.

"What?" She drew her head back. "Why?"

"Rox," he said forcefully.

"Probably about like five weeks," she shrugged. "I don't know."

"You two didn't stop seeing each other," he said angrily.

Roxy glared at him. "Not really the issue Jax."

"No, it's not," he shook his head. "Rox, what do you wanna do?"

"Please don't tell me I should have an abortion," she sniffled.

"What do you want?" He said, emphasizing that it was her choice. "I'll back whatever you decide."

"I want this baby," she admitted.

Jax swallowed and nodded, knowing his sister well enough to figure she would want to have the baby.

"Don't tell Happy," Jax said firmly.

"What? No," she staunchly refused. "That's not fair, Jax, not to me or Happy or the baby."

"Rox," he grabbed her shoulders and looked her in the eyes, "You and Hap won't work. Ever. If you want a nice little family, a normal family, you'll tell this new guy it's his. Tara can help if he questions the timing."

"About the guy," she stammered, "It's Esai Alvarez."

"The Mayan?" He growled.

"Yeah, Marcus Alvarez's son."

Jax let go of her and walked a few feet away. "You said it started as spite," he recalled. "But now?"

"I don't want to ruin anything with him," she said sadly. "He's great. Really sweet and funny and handsome...and he's closer to my age."

Jax was on the spot, unsure of which was the lesser of two evils, but he made a snap call. "How do you think he'd react?"

"Esai?"

"Yeah, to the baby."

Roxy felt her stomach churn. "He'd be thrilled," she admitted, "We've talked about long term stuff."

"You love him?"

"I think," she nodded.

"This could be good for everyone," Jax told her. "Happy wouldn't be the kind of father you want for this kid. Do you think Esai would stick around if you told him the truth?"

Rox wasn't sure but Jax's tone made it seem unlikely. "I-I don't know."

"You think many guys would?"

"I guess not," she whimpered.

Jax felt sick with guilt, manipulating his sister broke his heart, but he refused to saddle her in that town with a baby.

"Tell Esai it's him, I'll meet with Alvarez to uh, welcome him to the family." Jax hugged her again. "It'll be good. I promise."

It was good, for a while at least. Esai was thrilled and Marcus welcomed Roxy into the family with open arms. Relations between the Mayans and SAMCRO were improving until Darby injected with wildly inaccurate and inflammatory statements.

That was when the worst happened and when Esai had to die. Marcus and Jax agreed, Roxy didn't need to the truth, it was selfish but they refused to see it that way.

It was barely a day before Esai's disappearance was noticed by a panicked Roxy. That was when the lies and manipulation multiplied. Marcus went to Esai's, tearfully packed his things, and slipped out selling the lie that Esai abandoned his new family.

Jax and Tara comforted Roxy, both knowing the truth and hating themselves for the pain they cause her.

"I have to talk to Happy," Roxy cried.

"No," Jax snapped. "That's not an option."

"Jax, I don't want to do this alone and it's the right thing. Hap deserves to know."

"He'll be angry," Tara said suddenly.

"Knowing you lied, tried to have another man raise his kid," Jax elaborated. "And Alvarez, Rox, he is going to lash out, it'll touch everything we've built. Besides, you're a single mom but with him, you and this baby won't need anything, between SAMCRO and The Mayans, you're both set."

Tara walked away without a word, too horrified by her husband's words and actions to continue to help.

"Jax," Roxy cried, "I don't know if I can do this."

"You have to, you gotta do what's best for that baby no matter how hard it is and this is the best thing." Jax huffed her again. "Trust me, okay?"

Present*

"And I did trust him," she said. "When Mateo was born I panicked and put Happy down but then I had a new one filed. I don't know why Jax kept this. I feel like it's a goddamn sign, that he's telling me to tell the truth."

EZ opened his mouth but didn't say anything.

"I know," she laughed sadly. "Insane, right?"

"Uh, yeah," he chuckled awkwardly. "I don't know what to say."

"I think your brother had his reasons and I think you should believe he wanted the best for you and Mateo, telling Happy would only make this shit worse."

Roxy nodded. "Shouldn't be too hard. I swear, over the years I lived that lie it started to feel true. I believed it."

"He doesn't need to know, Rox," EZ advised her, "Just keep believing it."