Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter.
Burning Lies: Chapter Twenty, Baby
It was another four weeks later when Dumbledore's response appeared in the prophet. It was short and paraphrased but from the quick glance that Tom took of the daily paper he could tell that the old man had attempted damage control.
Had smiled smugly when he saw Miss Skeeter's evident disbelief of Dumbledore's lies, this battle he had won.
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"Siri?" Harry called uncertainly from the door way to his adoptive parent's room; Remus was currently down stairs with the twins while Sirius was upstairs with the older two. Watching Sirius sit on the bed with two of the babies made his heart twist painfully in his chest.
"What is it cub?" he called, turning to his son his smile fading as he saw how nervous and scared his little boy looked. Placing 'Leia back into the basinet next to her brother he gestured for Harry to come in and settle next to him.
The teen did so nervously, twisting his hands back and forth as sat gracelessly next to his Pa on the large four poster bed.
"What's the matter cub?" he asked carefully, wanting to help. But the second the words left his lips Harry broke down and burst into uncontrollable sobs. Feeling guilty that he had somehow set the boy off Sirius pulled the raven haired teen into his arms and let him cry into his chest.
"Shhh Harry, what's wrong?" He asked worriedly, rubbing his hand up and down his son's back as he tried to soothe him and find out what was wrong.
"I think…" he spluttered between sobs, the words almost incomprehensible. "I think I'm pregnant."
"Oh Harry." Sirius whispered pulling Harry closer to him and rocking the boy back and forth reassuringly. He hadn't been expecting this.
He knew that the other week had been Harry's first time, the teen had confided in him afterwards needing someone to talk to about it but he had thought that Tom would remember the protection charm.
"My little cub." He whispered as Harry continued to splutter and sob into his shirt.
"I don't know what to do Pa." he whispered into his father's neck as he clambered closer to the man who looked after him.
"What do you mean Cub?" he asked as he moved to stroking the teen's hair.
"My little baby is going to be bought into the world with both of his father's fighting a war." He cried, getting more upset at the thought of it. "He or she is going to be so small and they could be left all on their own if something happens to me and Tom. I couldn't leave them on their own Siri; I wouldn't be able to bear it." He said, tears flowing silently now that he was calming down slightly.
"Oh Harry." He said hugging his child closer to him as he thought of how Harry was left alone by parents who had conceived during a war. Fate sure had a cruel way of playing tricks on the young boy.
"I don't know what to do." He spluttered out again.
"Tom could put you in hiding so that you and the baby were safe no matter what happened to him when he tried to end the war." Sirius said, trying to make the teen understand that there were options.
"We know from past experience that there is no such thing as hiding in a war zone Siri." He said bitterly, thinking angrily of Peter Pettigrew and Godric's Hollow. "And my child would still be left without a father and I would still be left without my mate. There is no way that bringing this child into the world could turn out well." He whispered the last part to himself, caressing his flat stomach gently and thinking of the tiny life growing inside him that part of him loved already.
He couldn't bring this baby into the world if his or her life could turn out how his did; death, betrayal and abuse. He wouldn't wish it upon Dumbledore let alone his child.
"Have you spoken to Tom?" Sirius asked worriedly, not liking Harry's train of thought and how dead set he was that this baby was going to be a bad thing.
Harry shook his head in the negative.
"Why not?" Sirius prodded.
"He had enough to worry about with Dumbledore and the war." Harry said offhandedly as if he was talking about the weather and not about Tom's first child.
"Harry you know Tom loves you more than anything and you know that he would put everything aside to care for you and the child." Sirius said watching as Harry's eyes welled with tears again.
"He won't think that anything is wrong." Harry muttered as he gazed blankly out of the window.
"Harry, nothing is wrong." Sirius said adamantly as he placed a hand on either of his son's shoulder, forcing the boy to look at him. "The situation isn't ideal but you are going to have a baby; you've wanted this for years Harry, your own family."
"Not ideal?" Harry hissed suddenly outraged. "The situation is far from ideal; I have a baby growing inside me and I'm meant to kill Dumbledore whilst protecting that child and making sure he doesn't harm you, Remus, the quads or Tom."
"I know you are feeling upset Harry-" Sirius began only to be cut off from by Harry.
"I'm not upset Siri; I have the weight of the entire world resting on my shoulders, I have to protect my entire family and now, to top it all off, I have to look after a baby, my baby and I'm terrified." He cried again, getting worked up and frantic. "I am the only one strong enough to finish this Pa, and if I don't, the light will come for us. They will kill you, they will kill Remy and they will kill your children just like they killed Lilly and James. I have to be strong pa and I don't have enough energy left to be, I don't know how to fix this anymore."
Sirius could feel his own eyes welling as Harry continued to explain; the poor boy had been responsible for so much in his short life and he wasn't sure the teen could cope with anymore. Pulling the boy closer into his chest he settled them on the floor at the foot of the bed as he summoned Remus with a patronus.
When the wolf ran into the room he quickly noticed his mate and their child crying on the floor. He paused in shock before a whimpered "Daddy." From Harry had him running to comfort his son.
"Cub what's wrong?" at the sound of his father's voice Harry once again dissolved into sobs as Remus' arms wrapped around him.
Moony whined pitifully in the back of their head as he listened to what had happened through Remus' ears, half of him wanting to kill Tom for sleeping with their cub and the other wanting to kill Dumbledore for ruining his little boy's life.
"Cub?" he whispered after a while, he had waited for the boys sobs to subside.
"Yeh dad?" he whispered back, the stress making him rely on the two men heavily and revert back to childhood.
"I think we need to talk to Tom about this, sit down as a family and decide what to do. Does that sound okay?" he asked gently, still holding the teen to his chest protectively.
"I don't want to." Harry said shaking his head and clutching even tighter to the wolf.
"Why not cub, he'll be so happy." Remus said, cuddling Harry tighter and frowning at his mate as Harry tensed in his arms.
"That's the problem." He muttered as he picked invisible flint off Remus' jumper.
"Why pup?" Remus asked as he moved next to them and stoked damp hair off Harry's forehead, revealing his lightning bolt scar.
"Because he will love the baby the second he knows about it, he'll want it more than anything and I really don't know if I can do this Pa. We said we'd wait, until I was older, until this whole Dumbledore mess was sorted out and we could live happily together in the countryside somewhere with you, dad and the quads." Harry explained, his small hand caressing his stomach. "I already love it but I don't want it and that terrifies me, how can I love it but not want it?" he said gazing down at his still flat stomach. "I don't want my own baby." He said and the two older men could see the tears welling.
"Harry what don't you want?" Remus asked softly, having a hunch as to why the teen was so distressed.
"I don't, I wanna talk to Tony, I can't talk to you about this." He said eventually, moving away from them and walking towards the door.
"Harry," Remus called out from the floor where he and Sirius were still sitting. "We love you, no matter what okay?"
"I love you guys too." He replied softly before leaving and moving towards Tony's room.
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Tony sighed as he heard a timid nock on his door, placing his book down on his bedside table he stood and moved towards the door to answer it.
He frowned when he saw a teary eyed Harry and quickly ushered the teen inside. Guiding Harry to one of the armchairs he took the other and gestured for Harry to start explaining.
"I'm pregnant." The teen said quickly watching as Tony's mouth dropped open and the professional manner that he took in these meeting disappeared.
"Okay, so why are you upset?" he said, snapping back into his role quickly.
"I can't have a baby." He said and Tony wondered how many times Harry had had this conversation today, beating around the bush and telling half-truths. The arching of one of his eyebrows made Harry huff and rethink his statement.
"I can't bring a baby into the world when his or her life could turn out like mine. What if me or Tom died, or both of us, my baby would have to grow up without their parents."
"You grew up without yours." Tony countered.
"Yeh, and I turned out so well." Harry scoffed bitterly, turning away from Tony.
"Yes you did," Tony replied, not rising to the bait. "You have a loving partner, two people whom you love like parents and brothers and a sister. You do well at school, you are an excellent seeker and you have the strength to put your past behind you."
"I have you as well don't I?" The teen asked vulnerably. "You're my friend." He said quietly picking at a loose string on the armchair.
"Yes Harry, I like to think we've become good friends outside of our appointments." He said smiling warmly at the boy.
"You're my best friend." Harry said slowly, a light blush settling on his cheeks. "But I can't bring this baby into the world not knowing if I'll be there to help him or her through all of their problem: that I might not be there to see them off on their first day at Hogwarts: to hold their hand before they get married and embarrass them in front of their girlfriends or boyfriends."
"Harry that's not certain anyway." Tony said quietly. "All parents are scared of letting their children down or not being there for them but it's something that you have to be afraid of, it makes you a good parent, it ensures that you try your hardest to look after them." He explained as harry turned to look at him questioningly.
"I already love it Tony, more than I've loved anything ever and it terrifies me." He whispered.
"Harry what is wrong with that?"
"I don't want it; I love it but I really don't want it now, I'm too young, there is so much danger for this baby if I let it be born; the child of the dark lord Voldemort and the boy-who-lived-turned-traitor, it is never going to have a normal life."
"But Harry, it will have something better than that." Tony said smiling at the teen.
"What's better than that?"
"A father who loves his child so much that he was afraid for it to be born into a world that might hurt it. A dad who tries so hard to protect that baby that he contemplated leaving everyone that he loves (Harry looked at the floor guiltily) so that the baby would be protected, you love that baby so much Harry that he or she has only been in your belly for three weeks and you are already prepared to give up everything for it."
Harry took a moment to ponder this, Tony had never lied to him before so why would he start now; what he said made sense.
"You will be a good father Harry, I would bet my life on it."
"Really?" he asked uncertainly.
"Yes Harry, but you have something very important to do first."
"What's that?"
"Tell Tom."
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"Tom I need to talk to you." He said from the man's office doorway, Tom was currently filling in paperwork for god knows what.
"Yes Love?" He replied standing and moving so that he was leaning on the front of the desk. When Harry didn't respond straight away Tom frowned and asked what was wrong.
"Nothing's wrong," Harry said looking at the beautiful man in front of him, feeling a familiar twist in his chest as he thought that they were having a baby. He wanted the child to have Tom's eyes and hair. And as he thought that, of a child that was a mix of both of them, it was like there was never any doubt in the first place; they were having a child and it would be perfect.
"I'm pregnant." He said smiling at the man that he hoped to marry.
Tom's face was beautiful to watch; at first he looked shocked, like he hadn't really heard what he had said but then his whole face lit up in a way that Harry had never seen on the man, ever.
"Really?" he asked quietly afraid his voice would break, Tom was so overwhelmingly happy.
Harry nodded and Tom was quick to reach him, swinging him around the room like in one of the cheesy muggle romance films they had watched in primary school. Placing Harry back on the floor Tom kissed him ruthlessly and whispered, "A baby." Harry nodded, tears welling in his eyes for what seemed like the millionth time today, the only difference being that this time they were happy tears.
"I love you so much." Tom whispered to Harry as tears fell down his cheeks.
"I love you more." He whispered back watching in awe as tom knelt before him on the ground and rolled his t-shirt up to expose his flat stomach before peppering the area with kisses.
"A baby, our baby." Tom whispered reverently and in that moment Harry knew that it would all be okay.
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