I think I should apologize first because I said the drama part is finish but actually I saved the last one, I'm sorry guys. And from the reviews I got, seems I made my readers frustrated, another apology :p But our pairing need this one. Anyway, thank you for posting review to let me know how frustrated you are :) No, I'm not enjoying torturing you guys. For Urodnem, I wonder what picture :( thanks anyway for trying.

Okay this is the update. All mistakes are mine, I did my best. And I don't own Mendol's characters. Before you read this one, take a deep breath first, okay? Here you go!

Chapter 20

The cold breeze seemed had penetrated through her flesh that she felt her chest slowly lost its warmth. A breath was caught in her throat as she stared at those emotionless eyes, and it seemedwords couldn't find its way out although at moment she wanted to scream. She could only watch as the other woman looked aside and continued.

"After the case I realized," Nami inhaled. "…that I don't know you. I don't know who you are, I don't know the world you live. We live in different world Ray."

Ray forced words out from her dry throat. "You do know me, Nami. You know me better than anyone else. Is this about the case again? You still not believe me? I swear I have done nothing with those cases." She watched as Nami let out a sigh and rubbed her brows.

"That's why we can't be together." Nami turned her gaze to the other woman and saw her eyes widened.

"Wait a minute," Ray put a hand up and stepped forward. "I don't understand what you're talking about. You said you don't know about me and my world, and now, we can't be together? What do you mean?"

Nami let out a sigh of frustration. "You've done nothing wrong Ray, it's me," She brought her hand to her chest. "I always doubt you. I want to believe you, trust me, but in the end, I will doubt you." She clenched her fist trying to hold her tear at bay. "I always doubt you, and I can't forgive myself for it."

"So you mean you'll give up?" Ray took another step when Nami turned her gaze aside avoiding her. "After all that happened, what we've been through, you'll give this up?"

"You don't understand…"

"No, I don't! This is ridiculous," Ray couldn't help but raising her tone feeling anger slowly rose inside. "You and your pathetic excuses are getting ridiculous!"

Nami clenched her jaw turning to the other woman. "You said ridiculous? I blame myself for doubting you! I can't forgive myself for shooting you! Those guilty feelings filled my chest that I can't even breathe, and you said it's ridiculous!?"

"You are wrong if you think you're the only one who suffered here." Ray took a step toward Nami. "Me too! I couldn't sleep at night thinking you're blaming yourself out there because of me! I'm blaming myself for not telling you the truth, for making you suffer! You are not the only one who suffered by this!" She tightened her clenched-fists as tears began to well up in her eyes.

Nami wiped the tears before it run down from her eyes and said softly. "See, that's what I said, I only make you suffer, back then and now." She shook her head lightly as she stared at those eyes she loved so much. "I always bring tears to your eyes."

Ray looked aside and inhaled. "I think this talk got us nowhere." She turned around and was about to leave but Nami's next words stopped her.

"I'm leaving Boston next Monday." Nami watched as Ray stood in frozen.

The words were like a sharp ice that stabbed right into her frozen heart shattering it into pieces. Turning around Ray forced her cracked voice. "You're leaving?" When she saw Nami nodded and looked aside, she closed her eyes feeling her world slowly breaking down. It took her everything to not break right then and there. "You lied to me. Every words you said, those are lie, aren't they?"

Nami lifted her gaze and saw Ray slowly opened her eyes. A drop of tear ran down on each of her cheek as she walked toward her.

She stood in front of Nami, tightening her jaw trying to keep the tears. "You said you won't give up and win back my heart, it's a lie."

Nami dropped her gaze clenching her fists as Ray pushed her chest with her finger.

"You said you won't leave me again, it's a lie too." Ray took a step forward pushing the other woman backward.

Nami closed her eyes and this time didn't bother to hold tears.

"You said you will always be there with me, another lie." Ray pushed the other woman's shoulder harder this time. "Everything you said was lie, wasn't it!?"

"I love you Ray," Nami's lips trembled as she said the words. Looking at those teary and hurt eyes if it was possible she hated herself more.

"Then why're you doing this to me!?" Ray grabbed Nami's jacket as she felt her legs couldn't support her limp body.

Looking at Ray's shaking shoulders she wanted to take her in her arms. She took a long breath and forced her shaky voice. "You deserve someone better than me, someone…" She fought back a sob before it came out. "…who won't ever doubt you, someone who believes…and loves you enough," Andrew was right back there. "Someone wasn't like me…I can't love you enough, I'm not…perfect enough for you."

Ray closed her eyes letting out a cascade of tears before she released her grip and stepped back. Opened her eyes she looked at those despair eyes of her. She wiped the unstoppable tears with her coat sleeve paying no mind it would ruin her mascara and replied. "If that's what you think, then you're right. You don't know anything about me." She shook her head and took a step back turning around. "You don't…"

Nami raised her palm covering her mouth as she looked at the other woman's back. 'I'm sorry Ray. I meant each word I said, I love you, that's why I let you go…because you deserve someone better than me.'

Andrew pushed the door open and stormed inside the empty bar. As soon as Satou saw him he walked toward him. "Where's she?" He asked and saw the man turned around leading the way. His heart sank as he saw his sister was sitting on counter chair with her head leaning on the counter top. He approached her and shook her shoulder. "Cassie," He turned his gaze when another voice replied.

"She's drunk."

He reached over the counter and grabbed the bartender's shirt. "Are you going to kill her?"

"I…I tried to stop her…but she won't listen…she threatened will close this bar if I didn't serve drink…"

"Andrew stop." Abigail who stood behind her boyfriend said before approaching the unconscious woman. "We better take her home. How much she drank?" She looked up at the frightened bartender.

"Around seven, or eight, nine?…I'm sorry…"

Andrew pushed the man back and turned to his sister. He took her shoulder, laid her head on his chest before put his arm behind her knees and lifted her body. He nodded toward Satou heading the door.

Abigail grabbed Ray's coat and put some money on the counter before following the other outside.

Abigail pulled the blanket to cover Ray's body. She turned her head when there was a knock and saw Andrew came inside. He was waiting outside while she changed Ray's clothes to simple shirt and pajama bottom. "She will have bad hangover tomorrow. Give her these pills, it will help her. And make sure she drinks a lot of water." She wiped sweat from the other woman's forehead before got up.

He didn't need to hear the word what made his sister got drunk. She never got drunk like this before. He clenched his fists turning around but felt a hand on his arm.

"Where are you going?" Looking at his angry eyes she knew what he was thinking.

"Talk to her." He pushed her hand on his arm.

"No, you're not going anywhere." She grabbed his arm pulling him back. She then added when he opened his mouth. "Look, I understand you're worried about them, but leave it to them. They are adults, they can solve their problem themselves without we interfering it."

"But she…" Andrew sighed in defeat as he saw her raised eyebrow. "Fine. But if this happens again, you'll let me talk to her."

Abigail nodded. "But no ass kicking."

"How do you...?"

"What, I'm your girlfriend, I know what is in your head. Come, let her sleep." She pushed him toward door. She took a glance over the lying woman before closing the door. She wonders if this was something relate to Nami's disappeared.

The first thing she did was let out a growl palming her head. It felt like someone hit her head with hammer, not to mention the pain in her stomach. She drank with nothing inside her stomach last night. 'That's very smart Ray' She pushed her body up and let out a groan. A yell made her lift her gaze.

"Are you out of your mind!? Get drunk alone. What if someone did bad thing to you?" Andrew approached the bed looking down at his sister. He never left the room and spent the night on sofa.

Ray palmed her head again, hearing her brother's angry voice only worsened her headache. She put her other hand up and replied. "Look, if you want to yell at me, at least let me drink that water and take those pills first. You're not helping."

Andrew took a breath and let out another. "I give you fifteen minutes. I'll wait downstairs. Fifteen minutes." He said before heading toward door.

Ray took the glass and swallowed the pills in one gulp before lying down bringing the blanket to cover her body.

Andrew folded the newspaper and put it on the table as his sister walked in, freshened up, although he could notice the bad mood. She then pulled out a chair opposite from him and sat down.

"Where's my breakfast?" Ray sniffled and turned to their servant who brought plate of her meal.

"That is your lunch." He finished his coffee before handed the cup to the servant when she passed him.

"Whatever," Ray grabbed orange juice, took a gulp before grabbing her hangover sandwich.

"What were you thinking? Drinking alone, in a bar."

"For God's sake Andrew, let me eat this damn sandwich first." She shot a glare toward his brother before bit the sandwich.

"Fine, eat your sandwich, but don't think you can run from me. I'll wait here until you finish your, damn sandwich." He said and took another newspaper starting to read. He looked over the paper, his sister rolled her eyes chewing the sandwich.

"You're worse than a mother you know."

"I am. You're my only sister after all." He said while turning over the page. When he finished the reading he put the paper and saw his sister had finished her meal. "So?"

"So what?" Ray said and sipped her tea. It seemed the pills are good, she no longer felt headache, she would ask the servant or Andrew later about the pills.

He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "You two did fight again, didn't you?"

She let out a small sigh leaning back against chair. "She's leaving Boston next week." Remembering last night talk she felt tears slowly comes to her eyes but fought it back. She don't want to cry again, she was tired of crying.

He was surprised to hear the news. "What do you mean she's leaving Boston?"

"She dumped me," She huffed. "…again."

"You mean you two broke up again?" He asked and saw she nodded slightly. "Why?"

"You ask her." Ray took the cup finishing her tea.

"Where's she leaving to?"

"Dunno." She shrugged. "If you're done with your interrogation I'll excuse myself, I have appointment." As much as she wanted to hide under her blanket she had work waiting for her. It was her duty after all, she couldn't throw away the company just because she was dumped by her girlfriend.

"Cassie wait," He got up. "I can replace you if you want."

"No, I'm fine, but thanks. I'll see you later." She turned around leaving the dining room. No, she wasn't fine at all, her heart still hurt that she felt pain with every breaths.

He let out a soft sigh as he watched his sister left the room. She might think she was successfully hiding it from him but he could see it. She was not fine at all.

"Thank you sir," Asahi waited until the man, one of the sponsors for next fashion show, stepped on the elevator before turning around. She closed the door behind and approached the woman behind big wooden desk. "Are you okay? You didn't focus during meeting." She watched the other woman got up from her chair approaching window.

"Just a little headache, but I'm fine." Ray offered a small smile when Asahi stood beside her.

"Did she say something stupid again? Just ignore it, you know sometimes her filter didn't work. Even if it works she won't use it."

Ray let out a chuckle and then pursed her lips. If only it was that simple. "She's leaving Boston." Hearing a gasp from the other woman she guessed Nami hadn't told her best friend yet.

"She what!?"

"We talked the other night, and she said she's leaving Boston on Monday."

"Monday? Next Monday? She didn't mention about it." Asahi knitted her brows. "Did she tell you where she's leaving?"

Ray shook her head. "No."

Her thick-skull friend really pushed her button this time. 'Wait, did it mean…?' She lifted her gaze at Ray. "What about your…?"

"We…" Ray inhaled lightly before replying. "…broke up, I guess." She let out a smile even though her heart was screaming inside her chest.

"Ray…" Asahi was surprised to see smile on Ray's face, she remembered that smile, the same smile she had seen years ago. "I think I should go. I'll write the report and send to you." She took a last glance at the other woman before turning around grabbing her coat and purse.

Ray stared at street lights below. Looking at colorful Christmas lights her mind went back to nine years ago. It was before Christmas when they said their last goodbye. A sad smile tugged on her lips and at the same time a tear made its way out as she realized that their fate repeated its history.

'Are you really leaving me Nami?' She waited however no one answered her question. Even her inner thought chose to remain silent, couldn't answer it.

"Penny for your thought."

Hinata dropped her pen when a voice greeted her. She lifted her gaze and saw her boss standing in front of her desk. "You're done with your meeting?"

"Yup, and I thought to see you. You seemed lost in thought anyway. Everything's good?" He then walked toward sofa and sat down.

She got up following Shane. "Sleepy."

Shane chuckled at the reply, if she coud make a joke it meant everything was fine. "Why don't you take vacation for a while? It's holiday next week."

"If I don't know better I'd think you're asking me out for vacation." She lifted an eyebrow.

He let out a laugh shaking his head. "Shall I?" He laughed as she cocked her eyes.

"You know, don't make that joke to any women. You can make them high." She put a finger up.

"Did you?" He crossed his legs lifting an eyebrow.

"Oh my God," She gasped playfully. "You're flirting! I have to memorize this day, what day is today, what time now?" She laughed as he threw sofa pillow toward her.

"You're not funny. Seriously, what's wrong?" He asked and saw her laugh slowly died leaving a small smile on her lips.

"Actually, I'm worried about Nami and Ray." She sighed hugging the pillow.

"Me too." He then added when his lawyer shot a quick glance toward him. "She's my best friend, of course I know it."

Hinata dropped her gaze when she felt her phone buzzed. She knitted her brows as she read Asahi's text.

"Everything's okay?" He asked when he saw her furrowed brows.

Hinata pressed her lips together and lifted her gaze. "Can I ask you something?" She continued after he nodded. "Do you still love her? If…she's free, I mean she doesn't have boyfriend or girlfriend anymore, will you accept her again?"

He knitted his brows upon hearing the question. "Honestly, a little. I need time." He caught she dropped her gaze before lifting it quickly. " But if you ask will I accept her again, I won't." He shook his head.

"Why?" She asked.

"Trust me, there's no place in her heart for another person." Her smile made him confused a little. She then stood up walking toward her desk, put on her coat and grabbed her handbag.

"I need to go, thanks for visiting." She then headed toward door, before she left the room she turned around. "I like tropical islands." She said to Shane as he got up. She tried to hold a grin when she saw he knitted his brows.

"Oh, really? That's nice place."

She let out a light chuckle. "Good night Shane." She then left the confused man heading toward elevator.

Nami put the wrapped cup in box before took another from cupboard. Her hand stopped as she looked at the cup in her hand, it was the cup the older woman used when she stayed here. She traced her thumb over the rim as she trailed her eyes to kitchen counter, she could see they were talking and laughing. To living room, they were watching movie, chatting, their 'first' kiss after years. To kitchen, they were doing cook together. It was like yesterday it happened for she could feel her heart warmed inside her chest. However, it was past, something she couldn't turn it back. Then her eyes went to the wall, where the man had the other woman with him, they had cleaned the wall but it was still vivid in her memory. She sighed pushing the melancholy feeling aside wrapping the cup before put it inside the box.

'Why don't you be honest to yourself?'

She put another cups and saucers. 'I do.' She grabbed tape and taped the box.

'No, you don't. You still want her, don't you? You can't let her out of your head, can you? You want to see her, feel her, touch her, don't you?'

She threw the tape and ran a hand over her face. She had this inner battle again. Where had it been all this time anyway?

'If you don't hear me it means you didn't need me.' Great, she has voice in her head which showed up her every time she needed an advice, she thought. 'That's why I exist, to tell you, to show you something you can't see.'

She grabbed small box from counter top and threw spoons, chopsticks, forks inside. 'I can't let her out of my mind. I want to see her. I want to hear her voice. I miss her.' She didn't know where it comes from, but the words kept flowing out. 'My heart, it hurts, it feels empty without her here with me.'

She taped the box, put it with another already packed-up box and grabbed another box. 'Seeing her crying, her teary eyes, I wanted to take her in my arms, soothing her, telling her that everything will be okay.' She wiped little tear before lifted the packed-up box, put it with another boxes. 'But I can't.'

She taped the last box and put the scissor and tape on counter top. She gazed the empty kitchen and living room. 'She's better without me, because I'm not the perfect person for her.'

'Why did you need to be a perfect person?'

She knitted her brows. 'Because…because…' A knock snapped her out from her thought. She walked toward door. It was Abigail. "Hi,"

Abigail stepped inside her eyes wandered over empty room, packed-up boxes, white sheets-covered couch before turning to the shorter woman. "You're leaving without telling me?" She was surprised when Owen told her about Nami's transfer.

Nami closed the door. "I'm sorry. I thought to tell you and the other anyway." She took counter chair for Abigail to sit.

Abigail took the chair and glanced at the empty kitchen. "No wonder she broke down."

Nami turned her gaze to the doctor. "What do you mean?"

"You think she will have celebration party after you told her you're leaving Boston? We found her unconscious, drunk, in a bar. Fortunately she has her guards accompanied her, otherwise, God knows someone will take advantage of her state." She saw Nami dropped her gaze fidgeting with her fingers.

That was why Ray was better without her, she only brought pain to the other woman. If something happened to Ray she would never forgive herself.

Abigail reached over and touched Nami's arm. "I'm not telling you this to make you blame yourself. I'm telling you this so you can see how much you mean to her. I only know your story from her brother, but from what I heard, you mean the world to her Nami. When you two parted years ago, she lost half of her life. If she's losing you for the second time, I don't know what will happen to her."

Nami blinked as her eyes starting to water. "I always doubt her. I let anger took me that I didn't believe her back there. And now, I did the same mistake and hurt her. All because I doubted her, I…"

"Nami," Abigail pulled the younger woman hugging her. She really hoped Nami and Ray would be together again, after what had happened between them, however she also knew how important trust was in one's relationship. She soothed the crying woman praying they would find a way.

After Abigail left she decided to go back to motel. She still stayed at motel until her departure. After made sure all the windows were locked she threw her coat on, grabbed her key and walked toward door. She was surprised to see her best friends standing in front of the door. Asahi with her arms crossed and Hinata stood with her hands inside her coat pockets. She gulped and stepped backward. "Hello guys."

Asahi uncrossed her arms. "Hello too Nami."

She watched as her two best friends walked inside eyeing the room. When Asahi turned her gaze to her she put a hand up. "Look, I'm sorry, I know I should tell this to you. I didn't mean to leave without telling you guys, I…"

"You've finished your packing," Asahi cut the other woman. "You should tell us, we can help you, you know."

Nami was taken back with the words. "You aren't…mad, at me?"

"Why would we? She's right though, you should tell us, we can help you." Hinata took off her coat putting it on sheet-covered couch.

She looked at Hinata, then at Asahi and back to Hinata. Something was wrong here, although she couldn't tell what it was. "You sure, you're not mad at me? I'm really sorry for keeping this from you guys, but I thought to tell you tonight." She looked at her friends.

"Honestly, I want to yell at you right now for keeping this from us. We've been friends for more than ten years Nami." Asahi said to the fidgeting woman.

"Yeah, we're BFF, you think we'll stop you?" Hinata added.

"You won't?" Nami asked skeptically.

"Of course we want to stop you, but it's your life. If you can get better career then we won't stand in your way." Asahi said.

"You didn't…I mean, me and, Ray…"

"Look," Asahi said to her friend who suddenly interested in her key chain. "If you want to know the truth, yes we're angry wih you, really angry, trust me, but Nami," She approached the shorter woman. "This is your life, we only do hope whatever path you'll choose don't make wrong decision. But we'll support your decision."

"Even," Hinata added as she approached the two. "If you make wrong decision, remember you still have us with you."

"Thanks guys," Nami wiped her tear lifting her gaze. She let out a chuckle as they enveloped her in a hug. She still felt guilty for keeping about her leaving from her best friends, but at the same time relieved that they could understand and decide to support her.

"Okay, I think you had enough crying these days," Hinata said after pulled back from the group hug. "Why don't we go to Asahi's place? I'm hungry."

"That's a good idea. You can stay at my place instead of motel."

"Really?" Nami asked and saw the older woman raised a thumb. "But I need to take my bag first."

"We can go to the motel first and after that go to my place."

Nami gave a grateful smile toward Asahi and took her bag. When they were waiting for the elevator she said. "I'm sorry for the other day, sorry for being a jerk."

"An asshole."

"Hinata," Asahi smacked the younger woman's arm lightly. "Language."

Nami looked at the lawyer astonished. "I don't know you can curse."

"And I can punch too." Hinata lifted her fist wriggling her brows.

"Damn, that's hurt you know." Nami said rubbing the corner of her lips.

Asahi shot a glare toward the women only to be ignored by them. Shaking her head she looked back at the elevator doors.

"You're not the only one who can do punch, so be careful next time." Hinata said while stepping on the elevator.

"I'll keep that in mind." Nami said and watched Hinata grinning. "I'll miss you guys." She looked at them as the elevator went down.

"You won't know what will happen tomorrow Nami."

Nami turned her gaze to Hinata and saw the woman winked at her, a smile tugged on her lips. She knitted her brows but then shrugged when the doors pulled open.

Ray stood on balcony staring at the back yard. There was snow under trees from last week storm, although most of the snow has melted away. Melted away. Just like what her heart felt now. Today was Christmas eve. The day when one was surrounded by people they love. Sadly she wouldn't have it. Indeed she had her family, however, the certain person wouldn't be here with her.

Yes, Nami was leaving today. Did she choose this day purposely? She couldn't help wondering. Part of her wanted to see the woman begging her to not leave, but the other or should she said her pride, wouldn't allow it. She was tearing apart between her heart and her pride. If it was months ago she would lost, didn't know what to do, what to choose, but now it was different. She had learnt to always follow her heart, and she would.

She pulled out her phone typing a text to the other woman. She had made her choice and now was Nami's turn.

'6 PM, at the park. I'll wait for you.'

Nami inhaled a long breath staring at the message. She got the text this noon when she went to headquarters to say goodbye to her colleagues before leave. Since then she looked at the text for like hundred times. She could read the unwritten '…if you are not coming, I'll think we're over'. She fought back a tear when it threatened to fall as she closed her eyes. She was tired of crying, of this sad feeling. What should she do?

'Admit it.'

'I want to see her. I want to hear her voice. I can't live without her. I need her.' She let out a soft sob palming her face. 'But I will hurt her again, make her suffer again.'

She wiped the tear as she heard knock. She glanced at her wristwatch, 5:29. It was time to leave. She took a last glance at the text, inhaled slightly before put her phone back into jeans pocket. 'You're better without me Ray'

Ray took her coat heading downstairs. At downstairs she looked for Satou and the other telling them she was going out. They were walking toward entrance when Albert called her.

"Where are you going?" He asked his Miss. "There will be storm tonight."

"I need to go." She looked at the older man hoping he wouldn't stop her.

"But…"

"Let her go."

Ray turned her gaze as her grandfather walked toward them. She swore she saw a smile on his lips although it was for a moment before he turned at Albert. Albert then turned to her nodding his head and then at the men.

"Be careful."

She smiled back at the older men and turned around heading entrance. She had half an hour.

He watched as his granddaughter disappeared outside. "I think a drink would be nice for tonight. What do you think?"

Albert turned to his Master following him toward library. "Why didn't you tell the truth about Mike?" He asked and stopped when the older man turned around at him.

"I'm getting old Albert, it won't change anything I'd done to my family." He let out a sigh and turned around starting to walk. "I'm sorry you have to accompany an old man."

"My pleasure Sir." He followed the older man. Everyone would think he was a cold-hearted man, with arrogant attitude, but only one who knew him well could see the true man inside him. It was the reason he had sworn to follow him.

"You're ready?"

Nami nodded at Asahi and took her bag. Asahi and Hinata would take her to terminal. She would use bus since she couldn't get plane ticket. Plus she couldn't drive to the other state by herself. She saw Hinata came out from guest room.

"They said it will be storm tonight. I think we better wait with you for when the bus is cancelled." Hinata said.

"You don't have to guys. It's Christmas eve, I don't want to ruin your date plan." She said and saw them shook their head.

"Don't worry." Hinata waved her hand glancing at the taller woman.

"Yeah, don't worry. Let's go." Asahi took her gloves and walked toward door.

Nami pulled out her phone but then put it back in her pocket. She lifted her gaze when she heard Asahi's scream. She dropped her bag as she saw the person.

"I've missed you!"

"Me too!" Asahi throw her arms around the older woman and felt Hinata hugging the other side of the woman.

"Nami, you didn't miss me?"

Nami opened her mouth and closed it as she stared at the grinning woman. "Marilyn…?" Her eyes widened as another person showed up and watched her friends hugging the other woman.

She cleared her throat to calm down the girls, correct women. "I can't breathe." She glared at the women when they pulled off but then smiled looking at their grins.

Nami wanted to doubt her eyes. "Shachou?"

She turned her gaze to the shorter woman. "You don't hug me?" She grinned as the woman blinked.

"How...why…I thought you…"

"We have vacation here." Marilyn answered and reached the shorter woman pulling her into hug. "I've missed you too." She had to pull back though. "Wow, you have strong shoulders Nami. They were right then, you're a cop. That's fantastic!"

Nami cleared her throat and smiled a little as Marilyn's hands traveled over her shoulder and chest. Why did she touch her chest anyway. "Marilyn," She grabbed the woman's hands and asked. "Why are you here?" She looked at Shachou who smiled at her.

"Like I said we have vacation here." Marilyn answered the question and pulled her hands off.

"Here? In Boston?" Nami knitted her brows. She turned her gaze when Shachou replied while walking inside. She never lost her almighty, still in black outfits and tight skirt. Even in winter.

"Yes, in Boston." She eyed the room before looking at the shorter former member of Persona. She was surprised to see her. She had changed a lot, well the three of them had.

"It's a coincidence." Asahi said.

"Yeah, what a small world." Hinata added.

Nami inhaled as she finally realized it, she then shot a I-knew-it glare toward her best friends. The mention persons only shrugged smiling at her. Shachou's voice broke her thought.

"Are you going somewhere?" She asked and walked toward living room. The room was nice.

"Nami is leaving tonight." Hinata answered following their former Shachou.

"Really? But you still have time right? We just met you after years. Let's have talk!" Marilyn said cheerily.

"Yeah, let's have talk." Nami said to the cheered woman smiling before turned to her friends lifting an eyebrow. "That's nice."

"I'll make tea." Asahi added when she passed Nami. "Don't worry, your bus is seven right? We still have time."

"I'll help Asahi. Marilyn can you help us?" Hinata gave a wink toward her friend before heading kitchen following Asahi.

"Thanks guys," Nami sent a glare toward her best friends before heading living room. She sat on sofa beside the couch where Shachou was sitting.

"I heard about your news. I still can't believe you're a cop. But think about it I shouldn't surprise."

Nami smiled knitting her brows a little. Should she take that as a compliment? "Thank you." She rubbed the base of her neck offering a smile.

"So I take you two still together?" She gazed at the younger woman.

Nami lifted her gaze. What should she answer that? Are they still together? From their last talk she guessed no. "We, uh…no, I think." She answered and saw Shachou raised an eyebrow.

"You think?"

"It's, uh, complicated…we, broke up."

"That's why you're leaving?" She then added. "Or, it is because you're leaving…"

Nami looked up and saw an one-sided smile plastered the older woman's face. Her best friends must have told Shachou otherwise she wouldn't know about the matter.

"I read news, and I can put two and two together." She saw Nami knitted her brows playing with her fingers on lap. "So, she will back to her ex-boyfriend, the CEO man,"

It took seconds before Nami replied. "Maybe," She wasn't sure where the conversation was heading to. Now think about it she never did talk about her private life with their former Shachou. They had only talked about Persona's carrier back there. Shachou then surprised her with her next question.

"Do you know why Ray chose you?" She could see her question got hit as the younger woman looked up at her.

Why did Ray choose her? She never thought about it. 'Because she loves me?'

"You're a newbie, no name, not so handsome well not so bad either, and to top it have a tendency to have your foot stuck in your mouth,"

Nami wasn't sure if she should feel happy or offended hearing that, but remained silent.

"Sorry, didn't mean to be rude I just wonder sometimes. Don't you agree? You had nothing compare to her, except you beat her with your single."

Nami forced a nod and small smile. She really prayed Asahi and the other come with their beverage. Just how long it took to make a damn tea anyway. Shachou's next question broke her thought.

"What do you think? What made her attracted to you?"

"I, don't know," Ray had mentioned about she was the only one who ever scolded her. It meant her big mouth? No, definitely no. How coud someone love you because of your big mouth. "She had mentioned before no one ever scold her except me."

She pulled the corner of her lips up as the woman finally decided to speak up. "I guess you're right. No one dared to do such thing. She was a super charismatic diva after all."

"Yes," Nami said in agreement. "Even now, she's famous."

She nodded. "Indeed she is. It must be hard to have a girlfriend like her, isn't it? She's famous, beautiful, gorgeous even, talented, comes from rich family. Well she's bitchy sometimes, but once you know her, see the true person behind those bitchy attitudes, you can't help but fall for her. Every man, and woman I must add, will kneel down to have her as girlfriend."

Nami inhaled and unconsciously rubbing her hands. Hearing it something rose inside her. "I guess yes."

She looked at the woman and let the question out. "Isn't that the reason you choose to let her go?" She kept her gaze when her former idol lifted her head to look at her. She could tell Nami was surprised with the question.

"What?"

"You're afraid." She saw Nami's brows furrowed, mouth slightly open. "You are afraid she will find a perfect person and leave you. She's like a perfect goddess after all," She inhaled and added. "That's why you can't trust her."

Nami looked down at the hands on her lap feeling her chest tightened. Was she?

'Admit it.'

Nami closed her eyes as she finally realized it. Yes she was. She was afraid that Ray would find another person and leave her. She was jealous toward Shirota Ken back there, because he made Ray laugh, and he protected her. She felt jealousy toward Shane, because he was a perfect man. She always feared that one day the other woman woud find a perfect person, someone better than her and leave her. She always feared that the other woman would find out that she was not perfect, because she was not at all for she always made Ray cry.

'That's why it's easier to run, it's easier to dump her than be dumped by her.'

Nami covered her face with palms and let tears out as finally she admitted it.

She gazed at the crying woman and added softly. "It wasn't because you're a perfect person that she chose you, because she wanted to. It doesn't matter if you're perfect or not, because she saw you, the person inside you."

Ray was right that she didn't know about her at all. She thought she knew the other woman, but apparently she didn't. She thought it was best if she let Ray go, if she had someone better than her.

'Was she happy without you?'

No, she wasn't.

She got up and sat down beside the crying woman. She hoped she wasn't late. "If I may give you an advice, let her love you. It may take time but you can learn."

Nami wiped the tears and lifted her gaze. "Can I? What if…I make, the same mistake?"

"You only have one choice, trust her," She cupped Nami's cheeks and smiled. "…and yourself."

She saw as Shachou lifted an eyebrow and gave a nod toward door. She gained her composure and got up. Wiping the tears she searched for her key. "Shit," She was in Asahi's condo without her car.

"Use my car."

Nami turned her head and caught key Hinata threw toward her. She saw the women raised their thumbs at her smiling. Wasting no time she ran toward door. She ran toward Hinata's Subaru and put the car in gear. She glanced at the digital clock, 5:49. She stepped on gas pedal increasing its speed.

Inside the room, Asahi brought the tray of beverage to living room. She put cups on the table and sat down. "I hope she isn't late."

"And she isn't arrested first before she meets Ray." Hinata added sipping her tea.

"Yeah," Marilyn agreed. "But I was glad you found us."

Asahi smiled at their former manager. She found Shachou's name on next fashion show's guest list accidentally. However the list only had their names without address. It was Andrew who helped her found their hotel, in Florida. She then called the hotel and told the women about Nami's issue. Of course she supports Nami's decision, but she wanted her to have talk with Shachou, and perhaps Shachou could help her to see clearly. And she was glad Nami did.

Ray glanced at the park clock, 5:48. She looked at people passing her, parents and their children, friends, couples, they were chatting and laughing. Everything moved in slow motion except the clock.

She rubbed her glove against the other to warm her hand. The air was cold that she could see her breath. Satou had suggested she wait inside the car but she insisted to wait outside. She would wait at the bench, their bench. She wanted to believe that the other woman would show up, but she couldn't deny the tiny voice inside her head asking her what if Nami didn't come. What if Nami really left Boston and would never come back again, what should she do?

A fear that the other woman wouldn't come creeped inside her chest making it hard to breathe. She reached her neck pulling out the pendant Nami gave her closing her eyes. 'Please come Nami'

She waited, and waited. Second turned into minute, and minute turned into hour as time flowed so quickly. A warm tear made its way running down her cheek.

Nami stepped on brake at time. There were many people blocking the road. "What the hell?" She pulled the window down and shouted toward an officer near the car. "Hey, what's happened?" She saw the man approached her.

"A crash, big one. We need to close the road."

"What?" She glanced over the crowd and saw cruisers and ambulances. "I need to go to BPD's,"

"I'm afraid you have to turn back and take the other road. Sorry I have to go."

"Hey!" She cursed. If she took the other road it would take more than half an hour. She glanced at the clock. 5:58. "Shit," She shifted gear and back the car up but once again stepped on brake as a car stopped behind her. "Hey, back up!" She shouted getting frustrated. She saw the car back up but stopped as another cars came behind. "You've got to be kidding me!"

After what felt like an eternity she finally could move the car. She shifted gear and pushed down on gas pedal. She drove the car passing the crowd road. She prayed she wouldn't get arrested by over limit. She let out a curse when the traffic light turns to red. She drummed her fingers on the wheel waiting. "C'mon damnit." As soon as the other side's turned red she pushed the pedal down.

She glanced over the clock and her throat tightened as she saw it past six. "Nonono…stop moving damnit!" She didn't bother to slow its speed down when traffic light turned from yellow to red. Tires squeaked as she stepped on brake. Unbuckled, she burst out and ran toward the park. Her heart beat fast as she ran passing couples and teenagers. She tried to catch her breath looking around her. Where was Ray? Her chest tightened as she couldn't find the other woman.

'Where's she?'

She felt tear came to her eyes as she found a woman standing near a bench. She moved her feet forward walking toward the woman. It was Ray. She was standing with her back on her. She approached the taller woman forcing the word out.

"Ray," The other woman didn't turn around at her.

"It wasn't your love,"

She looked at Ray's back as she continued.

"You love me enough Nami, more than enough…that I've never felt such love in my life,"

Hearing Ray's voice if it was possible her tightened-chest tightened more. "Ray,"

"It was trust,"

Nami felt her eyes become hot and she clenched her jaw.

"You didn't trust me Nami…you didn't trust me, that I can love you unconditionally." Ray inhaled, swallowing back a sob. "…you didn't trust yourself, that you can love me enough…"

A tear made its way out as she saw the older woman turned around at her. Those deep brown eyes that always look at her with warmth and love were emotionless. Neither anger nor sadness in her eyes.

"You never trust me…" Ray let a tear running down her cheek as she looked into Nami's eyes. "I told you before, if you ever turn your back on me again I won't give you another chance, didn't I?"

Her throat tightened that she couldn't let out any word. Ray stepped closer and took her hand. She looked down as she felt cold metal on her palms.

"Don't ever come into my life again." Ray released Nami's hand, brought her feet and pieces of her shattered heart leaving the other woman. Tears kept running down her cheeks but she felt only emptiness.

Finally a sob made its way out of her throat and soon another followed. Her hand trembled as she looked at her palm. A pendant with 'trust' written on it was staring back at her. It burned her palm, creeped up through her flesh and burned her chest. She didn't bother to hold tears anymore and cried out.

Ruuunnn...just kidding. Wait, don't send me a punch, I know I make you frustrated again :(

Thank you for reading even you want to scream at me. Since it's holiday I want to take a break so maybe the next update is after new year. I'm sorry!

But, hey, I post another one shot from this universe on one shot collection for you guys. I hope it can calm you down a little, and after read it you'll have faith on me. Trust me guys! I promise a happy ending, don't worry.

Okay, see you on next chapter. Happy Holiday if you're celebrating :)