Scene opens in the hallway between Ross and Rachel's and Joey and Annette's apartments. Enter Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Annette.
Ross: That is the last time I go to a restaurant Phoebe recommends.
Annette: Ugh, tell me about it. I swear I saw something staring back at me out of my salad.
Joey: Hey, the service wasn't bad.
Rachel: How would you know? All you did was stare at the waitress all night.
Joey: Hey, she was hot! And she threw herself at me!
Annette: She wasn't throwing herself, she tripped! And you would've ended up with hot soup all over your lap, if Ross hadn't caught her.
Rachel glares at Ross.
Rachel: Why were you grabbing her chest to help her, anyway?
Ross: I just stuck my hand out! I was aiming for her arm.
Rachel: Your aim needs work.
Ross: So does yours. Monica's gonna freak when she sees the chocolate stains on the wall.
Annette: Okay, overshare!
Ross smiles, and turns to Joey and Annette.
Ross: Good night, guys.
Annette: Good night.
Ross and Rachel enter apartment 19, as Joey and Annette enter apartment 20. A pause and then both couples enter the hallway.
Ross: Sorry.
Joey: Our fault.
Ross and Rachel enter apartment 20, as Joey and Annette enter apartment 19. Theme song and title sequence plays.
So no one told you life was gonna be this way.
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear.
Well, it hasn't been your day, week, month, or even your year.
But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too.
Scene opens in Joey and Annette's apartment. Joey is standing in the kitchen, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. Enter Annette.
Annette: Hey.
Joey: Hey.
Annette: What're you doing?
Joey: Reading the newspaper.
Annette: Really. So what's happening with Beetle Baily?
Joey: Sarge caught him sleeping on the job again, so he-
Joey looks over to see Annette grinning.
Joey: Shut up, the comics are still part of the newspaper.
Annette: I didn't say a word.
Joey: Maybe not, but I know that grin.
Annette: What grin?
Joey: The "I'm gonna find some way to tease Joey now" grin.
Annette: That's not the grin I have. THAT grin looks like this.
Annette grins evilly. Joey shudders.
Joey: I'm going to work. You're scaring me.
Annette: FEAR me, little mortal.
Annette laughs as Joey runs out the door. Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Rachel is sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting in the armchair. Enter Annette.
Annette: Hey, guys.
Ross: Hey.
Annette: Do you guys have any of those Highlights for Kids magazines?
Rachel: No. Emma's too young for those, and Ben isn't over often enough for us to keep them there.
Annette: Damn, looks like I'm making a trip to the book store.
Rachel: Why?
Annette: Because I need some of those.
Ross: Why would you need a children's magazine?
Annette: Joey.
Ross: I had to ask…
Rachel laughs.
Rachel: What was it this time?
Annette: He was reading the comics in the paper, trying to make it look like he was reading the news articles.
Ross: Are you sure he wasn't looking for a crime to go out and fight?
Annette: Knowing Joey, I wouldn't put it past him. But I don't think he was.
Rachel: Why?
Annette: I kinda…hid his costume from him. And burned mine in a can that some hobos were using to keep warm. That reminds me, Jasper's having a card game Thursday…
Ross: Really? Because the last time I saw you in it, you were parading back and forth in front of him.
Annette: Hey, I had stuff to do! That…required me walking by him a lot.
Ross: So you WEREN'T trying to distract or tease him, huh?
Annette: …I'm pleading the 5th.
Rachel: Annette!
Annette: Oh, like you don't hide Ross's dino magazines when you want some love or attention from him?
Ross: She what?
Rachel glares at Annette.
Rachel: You promised!
Annette glances at her watch.
Annette: Wow, look at the time! I'm gonna be late!
Annette runs out the door, Rachel behind her. Scene ends and opens in a waiting room. Annette is sitting in a chair with a room full of beautiful women. Several are reading magazines. Annette looks at her watch, and sighs.
Annette: How much longer can they keep us waiting?
Woman: I wouldn't worry, honey. I've got this in the bag.
Annette: Why, what'd you do? Sleep with the casting director?
The woman smiles. Annette shakes her head.
Annette: I wish I'd thought of that on some of my shoots, woulda loosened up a lot of the photographers.
The woman looks up from her magazine at Annette.
Woman: Wait a minute…you're Annette Peters, aren't you?
Annette: Yes.
The woman gets a horrified look, stands up, and starts backing away.
Woman: I'm so sorry! I-I didn't know you were gonna be here! I'll bow out.
Annette: What're you-
Woman: Please don't do anything to me!
The woman runs out the door. Annette turns to the woman sitting next to her.
Annette: What was that all about?
Woman #2: I don't know. What'd you tell her?
Annette: Nothing. She asked me if I was Annette Peters, I said yes, and the next thing-
Woman #2: Wait, YOU'RE Annette Peters?
Annette: Yes.
The woman stands up.
Woman #2: Hey, guys?
Everyone turns to look at her. The woman points to Annette.
Woman #2: That's Annette Peters.
The women leave, with only Annette and three others remain. Enter the casting director.
Casting Director: Ellen How-
The casting director notices the mostly empty room.
Casting Director: Hey, where did they all go?
Annette: I don't know, they just got up and left.
Casting Director: Okay, well, um…who's next?
The three remaining women point to Annette.
Casting Director: Come on back.
Annette follows him into the room. Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are sitting on the couch. Joey is sitting in the armchair. Ross is sitting in the chair at the end table, Rachel in his lap. Mike is sitting at the counter. Enter Annette.
Annette: Hey, guys.
Greetings float back.
Joey: How'd the audition go?
Annette: It went good, although the strangest thing happened. As soon as those girls learned who I was, most of them just got up and left.
Phoebe: Really?
Annette: Yeah. It was weird.
Mike: Maybe your reputation is catching up to you.
Annette: What reputation?
Mike: The one from your modeling days.
Annette: Hey, I do NOT have a bad reputation!
Mike: Annette, you once put Ex-Lax in a co-worker's drink.
Annette: She was being rude.
Mike: What about the time you super glued the door shut to your photographer's trailer, with him inside?
Anette: He got out!
Monica: How?
Annette: Well, let's just say there was a window, and an unfortunate loss of his pants. Now if you guys will excuse me, I'm gonna be late.
Annette walks behind the counter.
Annette: Hey, Gunther.
Gunther: Hey. What're you doing here?
Annette: Clocking in. Duh.
Gunther: You don't work today.
Annette: Yes, I do.
Gunther: Annette, you work tomorrow.
Annette: No, I don't! I work today! It's on the calendar in Joey's…writing…
Joey starts snickering. Annette whirls around.
Annette: Joey!
Joey looks at his watch, and stands up.
Joey: Hey, look at the time! I gotta go!
Joey runs out the door, Annette behind him.
Annette: Get back here, so I can hurt you!
Scene ends and opens in Joey and Annette's apartment. Annette is crouching by the door, holding a Nerf bat. Enter Ross. Annette jumps up screaming.
Annette: UNAGI!
Ross: !
Annette: You're not Joey.
Ross: No, I'm the guy about to drop dead from the heart attack you just gave him!
Annette lowers the bat.
Annette: Don't be such a baby. If you have a heart attack, I'll do CPR.
Ross: Yeah, I'm sure Rachel will love that idea. Her walking in, to see you KISSING ME!
Annette: You think she'd jump to that conclusion?
Ross: It's RACHEL.
Annette: Good point.
Annette walks over to the box Chick and Duck Jr. are in, and lifts them out.
Annette: So what's up?
Ross: Joey was wondering if he left his wallet up here. He wrote down some audition information, left it in his wallet, and now he can't find it.
Annette: It's probably in his pants from yesterday.
Ross: Which pants was he wearing?
Annette: The ones with the ketchup stains on the knees, I think.
Ross: Thanks.
Ross starts walking toward Joey's room.
Annette: Ross, is Joey seriously dating Alex?
Ross pauses, with a panicked look on his face.
Ross: I don't know. Why ask me?
Annette: Because Joey tells you and Chandler everything.
Ross: So why aren't you asking Chandler?
Annette: You're closer and easier to torture if you don't tell me.
Ross: Do you not want him to be with Alex?
Annette looks away. Ross enters Joey's room, and walks out a moment later.
Ross: I can't find them.
Annette: Call him.
Ross: Good idea.
Ross pulls out his cell phone.
Ross (on the phone): Joey? Hey. What pants were you wearing yesterday?
A pause.
Ross (on the phone): No, YESTERDAY.
A pause.
Ross (on the phone): Well, why would you be wearing those?
A pause.
Ross (on the phone): Where did you leave them?
A pause. Ross walks into Joey's room, and walks out a moment later with his wallet.
Ross (on the phone): Yeah, it's right here.
A pause.
Ross (on the phone): Let me look. By the way, why was there a pair of chaps in your room?
Annette blushes, and runs into Joey's room.
Ross (on the phone): Never mind.
Annette runs into her room, and slams the door. Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe, and Mike are sitting on the couch. Rachel is sitting in the armchair. Ross and Chandler are sitting in the chairs at the end table.
Mike: So what did you guys think of Thor?
Monica: Eh, it was all right. Not really my kind of movie.
Chandler: Since when? When he walked out without his shirt on, you were drooling so much, I thought we were gonna ride a raft out of the theater.
Monica: Shut up! You wouldn't stop staring at that Jane woman! It felt like I was on a date with Joey!
Ross: Guys, no spoilers! I'm taking Ben to see it this weekend, I'd rather not know anything!
Mike: Oh, you mean like the part where Thor and Loki-
Rachel smacks Mike.
Mike: Ow!
Rachel: He said no spoilers!
Mike: Phoebe, a little help here?
Phoebe: No, you did wrong.
Enter Joey and Annette.
Annette: I'm telling you, they're not mine!
Joey: Well, whose are they?
Annette: Maybe they're yours.
Joey: I don't own a pair of chaps!
Annette: What about that gay cowboy musical you were auditioning for last week?
Joey: That was not a gay cowboy musical! It was a cowboy movie, and I didn't take a pair of chaps.
Annette: Joey, all the men auditioning were in outfits I wouldn't be caught dead in! And they wanted you to sing. It was a GAY COWBOY MUSICAL.
Joey: Maybe they were YOUR chaps.
Annette: Why would I own chaps?
Joey: Why was there a message on the answering machine for you from a strip club?
Mike: There was a WHAT?
Annette gets a panicked look, and looks at her watch.
Annette: Can't talk, gotta work!
Annette runs behind the counter.
Mike: Get out here, we're not done talking!
Annette: On the clock. Sorry.
Mike glares at Annette.
Mike: Oh, this isn't over.
Annette: Talk later.
Monica turns to Joey.
Monica: So Joey, how was your-
Joey: It was not a gay cowboy musical!
The gang stares at Joey. Scene ends and opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the table, reading a magazine. Enter Ross, examining the wall by the door before entering.
Rachel: Honey, what are you doing?
Ross: The last time I opened a door, I was almost beaten with a Nerf bat by Annette.
Rachel: Well, I don't think you need to worry about that. She offered to take Emma to the park.
Ross: Oh, okay.
Annette (from behind Ross): UNAGI!
Ross: !
Annette laughs, and sets Emma down on the floor.
Annette: Ah, grasshopper must always be aware of surrounding.
Ross: I am NOT Joey!
Annette: I know. That time was just because scaring you is so much fun.
Ross glares at Annette.
Ross: I will get you back for that!
Annette: I doubt it, dino boy.
Ross: Rach? Little help here?
Rachel laughs and shakes her head.
Rachel: No way. You go against Annette, you do it alone. She's my partner in crime when I wanna prank Joey.
Annette begins to back out of the door.
Annette: Unagi.
Rachel: Salmon skin roll.
Annette: Tuna fin flip.
Rachel: Trout tail slap.
Annette: Walleye toss.
Ross: Catfish spine puncture.
Rachel and Annette stare at Ross.
Ross: What? I thought we were naming random fish things.
Rachel and Annette look at each other, and giggle.
Rachel: Sure, random fish things.
Ross: I'm feeling scared now…
Annette grins at Ross and walks out the door. Scene ends and opens in Joey and Annette's apartment. Annette is crouched by the door, Nerf bat in hand. Enter Chandler.
Annette: UNAGI!
Chandler: !
Annette: Dammit! What is it with you guys and no Joey?
Chandler: I don't know, I'm too busy FREAKING OUT!
Annette: I swear, you and Ross are the biggest babies I have ever met.
Annette turns on the lights.
Annette: Help me with these magazines.
Annette hands Chandler a stack of magazines. Chandler looks at the title.
Chandler: Highlights for Children?
Annette: Go put those in the bathroom, while I put this stack by Joey's chair.
Chandler: You are so mean.
Annette grins.
Annette: I know.
Chandler: Do you think maybe Ross told Joey about your Unagi stunt?
Annette: I don't know. Why?
Chandler: Joey asked me to come up here and check the apartment. Now I know why.
Chandler walks into the bathroom, magazines in hand. Scene ends and opens in Phoebe and Mike's apartment. Phoebe is sitting on the couch next to Mike. Mike is holding her hand.
Mike: Are you sure?
Phoebe: No.
Mike: What did the test say?
Phoebe: I couldn't make it out. I already called the doctor's office. I have an appointment in a couple of weeks.
Mike: Just know that whatever the result is, I'll be there with you. I love you, Phoebe.
Phoebe: I love you too, Mike.
Mike and Phoebe kiss. Credits roll.
CREDITS SCENE
Scene opens in Joey and Annette's apartment. Annette is crouched by the door, Nerf bat in hand.
Annette (thinking): All right, Joey. Now there is NO WAY I'm gonna miss you this time. No Ross, no Chandler, no Mike. I have you now!
Annette waits by the door for several minutes, before standing up.
Annette (thinking): Screw it, I'll get him tomorrow.
Annette walks to her bedroom door and opens it. Joey pounces out.
Joey: UNAGI!
Annette: !
Joey: Tribbiani Shadow Strike!
Joey sits down in his chair and picks up a magazine, as Annette leans against the door frame.
Joey: Hey, these are pretty cool. Remind me to take a subscription for them.
Annette glares at Joey, as he reads the magazine.
(A/N Thanks to some of my family members helping out, I was able to get some free time from caring for my grandmother to finish this. Thank you to all of you on Twitter who wished her well. It means a lot to the both of us. Also, thank you for your patience, readers. Four more to the finale, so if you didn't get your votes in, hurry.)