Anonymous: When they started dating, Zelena told Robin she was happy for her, but that they should use protection, and Robin blushes and told her, "It's not that I can get her pregnant." Until later, she did get Alice pregnant.

"Robin, we need to talk."

"So close," Robin mumbled, cringing from where she was just steps away from getting out the door. Instead, she rolled her eyes, turning around and sulking back into the living room where her mother was waiting for her.

It had been two days since her mother had discovered her intimate relationship with Alice, in the worst possible way - by walking in on them mid passion. Since then, Robin had done her best to avoid her at all times. She spent a night at Alice's, and another camping out in the woods. In fact she'd only come home to change her clothes before she head out again, thinking her mother would be meeting with aunt Regina today like she did every week.

It turned out she had skipped this week to lay in wait for her daughters return. Now there was no avoiding her.

"Mum, I'm kind of busy…" Robin said, hovering in the doorway.

Zelena sat in the armchair by the wall, legs crossed, hands on top of one another over her knee, and a seriously intense look on her face. She pressed her lips together and ignored Robin's comment, nodding her head to the sofa. "Take a seat."

"Mum…" Robin moaned, then sighed and walked over, taking a reluctant seat. Best get it over with, after all.

"Robin," Zelena began. "I am so happy you've found someone. But now that you have, we need to talk about safety."

"OH MY GOD!" Robin shouted, dramatically throwing herself to the side so she was lying down before sitting right back up again. "I knew it! I knew you were going to do this! I just freaking knew it!"

"Robin… We need to have this talk." Zelena said firmly.

"No! No we don't!" Robin snapped, standing and glaring at her mother. "I mean, what do you think is going to happen? Huh? We're going to get pregnant?! I think we're kind of missing some important bits to get that baby train rolling."

"There is more than just getting pregnant-" Zelena began.

"I don't have anything," Robin said sharply. "And neither does Alice. And I hate to break it you mum, but if I was going to catch anything. I'd have gotten it by now." She might have been embarrassed talking about her sex life so openly if she wasn't so damn infuriated. There was literally no need for this damn talk! It was just her mother, being supremely uncool as always, purposely trying to embarrass her daughter just because she could.

"Robin, you need to be careful." Zelena said, uncrossing her legs and leaning forward slightly.

"We don't have any STDs and I'm not going to get her pregnant!" Robin snapped, standing and charging from the room. "So just drop it already!"

*One Broken Dark Curse Later…*

Zelena cleared her throat.

Robin looked up, the grin still hanging on her lips. "What?" She blinked.

"Oh nothing." Zelena said lightly, cupping her hot drink between her hands and putting on an over the top fake innocence to her voice. "Just… Remembering some time before the curse when a certain someone was so sure they didn't need protection."

Robin's face flushed with a new wave of embarrassment. "What?" Alice blinked, looking up at her mother in law.

"Nothing!" Robin said quickly, glancing at Alice before turning and glaring back at her mother.

"I'm confused…" Alice said slowly.

"Don't worry, starfish. Just ignore them." Killian said, reaching over and giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You just stay well rested. Do you need anything? A drink? Another pillow? Are you cold? Hot? I'll get you a blanket and open the window."

Alice laughed. "I'm fine, papa! Promise."

"Don't worry." Robin said, turning back to where she was crouched on the floor by Alice's leg. "I'm taking good care of them both." She reached a hand, stroking the swollen bump on Alice's stomach, leaning forward and giving her a soft kiss through the thin material of her shirt.

Suddenly Zelena's voice mimicked a high pitched version of Robin's. "I'm not going to get her pregnant." She turned, walking over to where Regina was bouncing baby Desirae on her lap, making the infant squeal and giggle with a series of funny faces. "Here's an early lesson, sweet-pea. Never doubt Grandma Z. She's all knowing."

Regina snorted loudly but was pointedly ignored by her big sister, who stood back up and made her way into the kitchen for a top up on her drink.

"It's not like we're unprepared!" Robin called after her irritably.

"Don't care," Zelena mumbled. "Still got your wife pregnant." She snorted and rolled her eyes. "Missing some important bits my green ass."