Hey guys. P This chapter makes us crack up whenever I read it. I've read it like 5 times since I fixed it. That's really bad! Its not as long as usual though. Anyways, we hope that you enjoy the chapter.
Oh, Those Crazy Cullens;;
Chapter Twenty - What About My Momma?
jazzfest has signed on
Mr.Macho has signed on
Mr.Macho: Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles.
jazzfest: WTF? You don't even know my momma!
Mr.Macho: I CALL FOR A YOMOMMA COMPETITION!
jazzfest: Wait for someone else to get on...like Bella or Edward. I would get a kick out of Edward doing yo momma jokes.
Mr.Macho: Then lets get the lovers on here!
Mr.Macho: Yo go get Alice, I will get Rose.
jazzfest: Okay. Give me a minute to find her. I think she's in the kitchen. I'll tell Bella when I see her.
Mr.Macho: Okay.
angelface has signed on
angelface: Whats up?
Mr.Macho: YO MOMMA JOKES COMPETITION!
icdafuture has signed on
icdafuture: Why am I on here? I should be planning a party, geez!
jazzfest: If yo Momma n Poppa got a divorce, heck, they'd still be Brother and Sister!
Mr.Macho: Yo momma so poor she went to McDonalds and put a milkshake on layaway.
jazzfest: HAHAHA. Nice one my brotha.
icdafuture: Uhm.. Your mom's so stupid she bought snickers when you asked for a butterfinger...
angelface: Yo momma so poor, when i saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing and she said "Moving."
vampgrl has signed on
vampgrl: I'm bored with edward. What's going on familia?
jazzfest: Yo momma has a major weight problem - she can't wait...to eat.
Mr.Macho: Yo momma so old, when she was in school there was no history class!
tomanyvoices has signed on
tomanyvoices: What
vampgrl: yo momma got so much dandruff that a Midgie landed on her head and said: "Christ, I aint' seen this much snow in years."
vampgrl: Oh. Hey baby!
angelface: Yo momma so short, she gotta slam-dunk her bus fare.
tomanyvoices: Hello, love.
vampgrl: Edward. Yo momma got a glass eye with a fish in it.
tomanyvoices: What is going on in here?
Mr.Macho: YO MOMMA SO STUPID, SHE TRIED TO ALPHABETIZE M&M's!
jazzfest: yo momma got so much hair on her chest that her Breasts remind me of Coconuts...
icdafuture: You've seen my Renee's breasts?
Mr.Macho: WHOA DAMN!
angelface: Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."
vampgrl: Hahahaha. That was great Rose!
jazzfest: Did she just...agree with something that Rose said?
icdafuture: yo momma has 10 fingers -- all on the same hand.
Mr.macho: Yo momma so lazy she came in last place in the recent snail race.
tomanyvoices: I believe she did, Jasper.
jazzfest: why haven't YOU used a yo momma joke Ed?
vampgrl: yo momma has a peanut butter wig with jelly sideburns.
tomanyvoices: Yo momma so dumb, her brain cells are on the endangered species list.
vampgrl: Why are we doing this anyways?
icdafuture: yo momma so smelly her poo is glad to escape.
Mr.Macho: hahahah, nice one Alice.
angelface: Yo momma so dumb, when she drove past the YMCA she said "Hey Look! They spelled Macy's wrong!"
jazzfest: You would use that one Rose...
angelface: Shut up Jasper.
tomanyvoices: Yo momma so old, she recalls when the Grand Canyon was a ditch
jazzfest: Make me. -sticks tongue out-
vampgrl: yo momma so dirty that Saddam Hussain tried to import her bath water to use as chemical weapons.
Mr.Macho: Yo momma's teeth smell so bad, when she yawns, her teeth duck
jazzfest: yo momma so greasy she uses bacon as a band aid.
tomanyvoices: Yo momma's butt is so boney, when she put on underwear and cut them in two
mamabear has signed on
vampgrl: I got notin bad to say about Yo Momma - heck, her face says it all...
mamabear has signed off
tomanyvoices: hahaha, nice one love.
angelface: Yo momma's feet so big, she helps Smoky the Bear stomp ou forest fires.
mamabear has signed on
vampgrl: You liked that mama joke didn't ya? Good?...well, nowhere near as good as Yo Mama was last night
mamabear has signed off
vampgrl: I think, that she might be offended.
tomanyvoices: She is just worried for all of our sanity. She thinks we have been inside to long,
vampgrl: Oh Well! This is fun!
icdafuture: But, hey, if I wanted a comeback, christ, I'd just wipe it off Yo Mamma's chin...
Mr.Macho: Yo momma's forehead is so big you can show slides on it.
jazzfest: Ew! That's gross Alice!
icdafuture: I see Carlisle punishing us... -gasp-
vampgrl: Yo Mama like a television - even a 2 year old can turn her on!
angelface: Yo momma so grouchy, not even the McDonalds she works at sells Happy Meal's!
icdafuture: I don't get it...
jazzfest: Yo Dog so short it's best friend is an Ant.
Mr.Macho: YO MOMMA JOKES ONLY JASPER!
jazzfest: Oh well. Its still funny.
tomanyvoices: Yo momma's twice the man you are.
vampgrl: The first line in the Bible was mistranslated - it actually reads - 'In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth and yo' fat ugly Mama'
Mr.Macho: Yo momma sets of car alarms when she runs.
jazzfest: I's apologise for talkin bout Yo Mama...I should know better...hell, I don't even know the Man...
angelface: Yo momma so bald not even a wig would help.
icdafuture: I see no fun in this...
vampgrl: Spoil sport!
vampgrl: No seriously, under all that hair yo Mama is really a Saint...a saint Bernard!
tomanyvoices: Yo momma so big, she uses busses as rollerskates.
vampgrl: Yo mama should be locked away, cos every time she moons people they turn into werewolves
Mr.Macho: You think the dog would like that joke?
icdafuture: I don't know. Lets ask him!
vampgrl: I'll call him right now Alice!
jazzfest: Yo'momma so ugly she actually is very good at her job: Being a scarecrow.
Mr.Macho: Yo momma so bald, Mr.Clean is jealous.
jazzfest: yo momma like a hardware store - only 10 cents a screw.
puppylove has signed on
puppylove: REBECCCCCCCCCCCCCCA BABYYYYYYYYY!
Mr.Macho: Sorry mutt. She's not here.
puppylove: Why'd you lie to me, Bella?
vampgrl: I have a joke I want you to hear...
puppylove: And you couldn't tell me on the phone?
vampgrl: Nope.
angelface: Tell him already!
vampgrl: Yo mama should be locked away, cos every time she moons people they turn into werewolves.
puppylove: ISABELLA SWAN! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW MY MOM! WHAT THE HELL?! YOU KNOW MY MOM IS DEAD!
Mr.Macho: Hahahaha, burrrrrrrrrrn.
puppylove has signed off
icdafuture: That was funny. -shrugs- Are we doneeeee yet?
jazzfest: Yo momma like a door knob - cos everybody gets a turn!
Mr.Macho: Yo momma so fat, she got a 747 stuck in her teeth.
vampgrl: yo momma LIKE a 747 - a 3 man cock pit!
tomanyvoices: Oh Yeah? Yo momma so fat, on a scale to 1 to 10 she is a 747
jazzfest: Wow. lets stop with the 747 jokes. It was cute the first time...funny the second time...and annoying the third time.
icdafuture: yo momma like McDonalds ... Billions and Billions served...
angelface: Yo momma so greasy, her frekles slipped off.
Mr.Macho: Jazz, did you say cute?
jazzfest: noooooooo -looks around-
vampgrl: yo momma so poor burglars break into her home and LEAVE money.
Mr.Macho: Yo momma so nasty, she bit a dog and gave it rabies.
jazzfest: yo momma so poor she watches television on an Etch-A-Sketch.
tomanyvoices: I think I am just going to watch now,
Mr.Macho: Yo momma so short, she did a suicide jump off a curb.
vampgrl: Why baby? -frowns-
icdafuture: yo momma so poor she can't even afford to go to the free clinic.
Mr.Macho: Yo momma's like a pirate, there she blows.
vampgrl: Yo mama so fat when she sit down we have to add another country to the map.
angelface: Yo momma's so ugle, kids dress up as her for Halloween
icdafuture: Rose, aren't you getting tired?
jazzfest: Stop trying to coax everyone out of this contest!
vampgrl: Yo mamas so hairy wen u were born u almost died of rugburn.
angelface: Sorry Alice dear, I am a vampire I never get tired.
Mr.Macho: Yo momma's teeth are so rotten, it looks like her tongue is in jail.
jazzfest: Yo mama such a dirty whore that they're having to paternity test the whole state of Texas just to find out who yo daddy is!
tomanyvoices: So Alice.
icdafuture: yes, Edward?
vampgrl: Yo mama so poor that when i stepped on a cigarette she cried, hey, who turned off the heater.
tomanyvoices: I have a question about the competition.
Mr.Macho: Yo momma so poor, when I asked her if I oculd use the bathroom she said "Sure, it is the 4th tree to your left"
icdafuture: Ask away, dear brother.
vampgrl: This is a fact. Yo momma's breath is whack, she needs not a tic, not a tac, but the whole damn pack!
tomanyvoices: Who wins?
Mr.Macho: Yo momma so cheap, when she saw a penny on the ground, she said she won the lottery
angelface: I'm out! I can't think of anything.
jazzfest: me too.
vampgrl: I'm not giving up that easily!
vampgrl: Yo mama so ugly when she looked out the window she was arrested for 1st degree murder.
tomanyvoices: Alice, you are avoiding the question.
Mr.Macho: Yo momma so ugly, when she was born, the doctor looked at her ass then her face and said "Twins."
icdafuture: Whenever you say stop. I know that you're keeping track.
vampgrl: Yo mama so0o0o fat, one day she walked out with a yellow rain jacket on and the children began yelling, "Hey, the School Bus is here!"
tomanyvoices: Fine.
Mr.Macho: Yo momma's teeth so big, she bit down on a piece of gum and cut her own toenails
vampgrl: Yo momma so dumb she brought a spoon to the superbowl.
Mr.Macho: Yo momma so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain yelled to the crew "Land ho!
vampgrl: Yo mama so stupid that she got stabbed in a shoot out.
jazzfest: There weren't really shoot outs in th 1930s, Bella.
Mr.Macho: Okay! I think it is time to know who the MASTER -points to self- is of 'Yo momma jokes'
icdafuture: Well, Edward and I have been talking about this in another window...
tomanyvoices: And we think the title should go to...
icdafuture: Emmett...
vampgrl: DAMMIT!
Mr.Macho: WOOHOOOO!
tomanyvoices: And Bella
jazzfest: Ha! A tie...
vampgrl: No fair! I demand a recount!
Mr.Macho: I am okay with it. I do have something I want to shout though...
tomanyvoices: Sorry Bella.
Mr.Macho: BITCH I'M THE BOMB LIKE TICK, TICK
vampgrl: BIOTCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
jazzfest: they were planning that all along weren't they?
Mr.Macho: Pretty much. HEY BELLA!
vampgrl: YEAH? HEY EMMETT!
jazzfest: I dispise you all.
Mr.Macho: We should go on that 'Yo Momma' show. i have always wanted to meet Wilmer!
angelface: Congradulations you two.
angelface has signed off
vampgrl: OME! He is so hott. We should watch that tomorrow!
jazzfest: I AGREE!
Mr.Macho: Let's do it!
tomanyvoices: I don't find the comedy in that show. But, I have some new music I would like to rehearse, so good-bye.
Mr.Macho: This is going to be nifty!
tomanyvoices has signed off
vampgrl: Did you just say "nifty"?
jazzfest: I hear Edward's music. Its so prettiful. Bye.
jazzfest has signed off
Mr.Macho: Did he just say prettiful?
icdafuture has signed off
vampgrl: Gee Willikers! i think he did...i'm more concerned with himsaying that than you saying nifty.
Mr.Macho: Well duh. He said prettiful for god sakes!
vampgrl: Seriously, are we like 100 sure that he'snot gay?
Mr.Macho: We should talk him into a lie detector test.
vampgrl: We should. Do you think Carlisle has anyway of getting one? Or should Edward see if Charlie can get one?
Mr.Macho: I actually think Carlisle has one hiding in his office. When I used o do bad things to get myself in massss trouble, he made me take one.
vampgrl: Really now? Hmm...we'll have to talk to him about it first...
Mr.Macho: I don't think he will mind. All we say is that we think Jasper is gay and we need the truth!
vampgrl: But...what if he is?! What'll Alice do?
Mr.Macho: We rent out an entire floor of a hotel, a really nice hotel. If you catch my drift
vampgrl: I don't.
Mr.Macho: OH C'MON! They need to "bond"
vampgrl: OHHHHHHH!
Mr.Macho: Damn. Someone is a little slow
vampgrl: My mind isn't all here...
Mr.Macho: Are you and Edward...you are aren't you?
vampgrl: No. Can't you hear him playing the music still?
Mr.Macho: Then what are you doing?
vampgrl: Lookin' at pictures.
Mr.Macho: Of what?
vampgrl: Noooooothin'
Mr.Macho: TELLLLLL ME! Or I will be forced to give you a noogie
vampgrl: Not that it would hurt or anything, because I can hurt you more than you can hurt me! -sticks tongue out-
Mr.Macho: Shut up! Not once you aren't a newborn anymore. Then I could take you.
vampgrl: Which won't be for like 10 more months! Anyways, I'm looking at pictures on myspace. This really nerdy person added me as a friend.
Mr.Macho: Who? Eric Yorkie?
vampgrl: No. They're not even from Washington. They're from...Texas. shes not even pretty. and her peictures. EW.
Mr.Macho: Then...why did you add her?
vampgrl: I wanted more friends.
Mr.Macho: Mhm. Of course you did
vampgrl: What are you thinking Emmett?
Mr.Macho: Nothinnnnnnnnnn.
vampgrl: Edward just stopped playing...
Mr.Macho: Have funnnnnnnn! Try not to make as much noise as last time. I am getting on Neopets. Good-bye little siser.
Mr.Macho has signed off
vampgrl: I meant be in fear of your life, because he knew what you're thinking. -shrugs- Oh well. Bed time!
vampgrl has signed off