A/N- Again Haldir's Heart-thanks for your consistent reviews. I really do appreciate them. :) Greg's downfall is just beginning as you will see in this chapter.

Chapter 20

Greg stopped at a bar just down the road from his apartment. He went up to the bartender and ordered vodka on ice. In the last week, this had become his preferred drink.

He drank his first one quickly and then ordered up another. His eyes roamed the patrons at the small bar. He saw some of his neighbors and smiled at them briefly, hoping they would not come over. They smiled back but left him alone.

A pretty brunette caught his eye and started walking over to him. She took the empty barstool next to him. Greg gave her a flirty smile, but overall was not in the mood for company.

"Hey there," she said to him. "You look familiar."

He gave her a quizzical look, seeing if he knew her but he would have remembered a face like hers.

"Really? Well, you don't look familiar to me," he told her with a smile.

"I'm trying to think of where I've seen you before."

He shrugged his shoulders not really caring to guess for her.

She stared at him for a moment, making him feel uncomfortable. "Oh wait I know. Aren't you that Crime Scene Investigator that's been in the news lately?"

Suddenly he felt like running away. He nodded and said yes very meekly.

She could see his whole expression change. She felt awkward now and was not sure what to say.

"Uh, I'm sorry. I know you've been through a lot. I just saw you, recognized you, thought you were cute and thought I would come by and get to know you better," she said quickly.

"I have a girlfriend," he said shortly.

She could see this was his way of brushing her off. "Oh I see. Well good luck with everything. I'm going to go now." She smiled as she slid off the barstool and left him alone.

Greg finished off his drink and paid his tab. He decided he did not want to be around people anymore. He decided to go home anyway.

As he left the bar and walked to his car, he saw a few men in the parking lot talking. He saw one look at him and he though it was Tyler Renning at first. He looked again, knowing it was not possible. He killed Tyler. On a second look he realized he was wrong and he laughed to himself shakily.

Once he was home, he went and grabbed his own Vodka bottle out of the refrigerator. He poured a glass for himself and took it and the bottle with him to his sofa.

He turned on his TV and went through most of the channels until he ended up on a basketball game. His gaze was on the TV but his mind was elsewhere. Everywhere he turned lately he was reminded of something that happened to him.

He was sick of not sleeping well and everyone getting on his case about how he was acting. As he drank more he just wished he could forget it all forever.

His eyes were getting heavy and as much as he fought sleep and the nightmares that would come, he lost that battle one more time.

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Grissom had called Catherine and let her know that he had sent Greg home. He felt that maybe she should check on him.

As mad as she was at him, she also knew that Greg was not himself. As she drove over to his place she tried calling him but he had his cell phone off and was not answering his home phone. She wondered if he was home at all, but then saw his car in the parking lot.

She went up to his door and knocked. After several knocks, she got her key out to his door, feeling a bit worried that he was not answering.

When she opened the door, she called out his name and he still did not answer. She saw how messy his place was since the last time she was there. Empty beer cans and a couple empty bottles of Vodka littered the floor by his sofa. Seeing the alcohol disturbed her a lot, she knew Greg drank socially but not like that.

She suddenly heard some moaning and then she heard his voice yell out, "No, please!" Her heart raced as she followed where his cry came from.

She came around the kitchen counter and saw him. He was huddled up in a ball in the corner of his kitchen floor. She approached him slowly, her heart in her throat.

"Greg," she said as she lightly touched him. He suddenly threw his arm out at her. "No, stay away from me." His voice was full of fear and pleading. His eyes were still closed. She was not sure if he was awake or asleep.

She carefully shook him again. "Greg, it's Catherine. You're safe." Her heart broke as she heard him whimper and plead again. "No more, please!"

She did not know what to do. He was not waking up. She shook him roughly, yelling his name this time.

Suddenly his eyes shot open, a wild, fearful look in them. He sat up quickly, his eyes darting all over as if he was looking for his demons. His breathing was rapid and he trembled.

Catherine moved back at bit when he woke up. She had heard of people having such intense dreams that it was hard to wake them from them but this was her first experience with anyone having them.

"Greg, it's okay. It's just me, Catherine." She said in a calm voice to him although her voice cracked with emotion as she said it. She watched him as he sat in the corner like a trapped animal. "Greg," she said again as she gently laid her hand on his. He quickly pulled away from her as if she were on fire.

"It was just a dream, Greg. You are safe. They can't hurt you."

He finally looked at her, his fearful eyes brimming with tears. "You're wrong, they can."

"Oh Greg!" She wanted to hold him tight but was afraid to touch him. Her eyes welled up with tears. She just watched him instead as he got his bearings as to where he was and then attempted to stand up.

He stumbled slightly but made his way back to his sofa. He always wondered how he ended up on the floor somehow.

Catherine watched him very carefully as he sat down on the sofa and then lowered his head into his hands. She came over and sat next to him, but far enough to not invade his space.

His head pounded again. He knew Catherine was sitting by him. He wished she had not seen him the way she had. Once again, he wished he could just forget everything, but he remembered his dreams more and more and it muddled his reality.

Catherine waited to see if he was going to say anything but he did not. He kept his face shielded from her. She was not sure what to do but she had to try something.

"You can talk to me. You know you can trust me."

When he still did not respond, she tried laying her hand on his back. He nearly jumped out of his skin when she did, his red-rimmed eyes staring at her like she was crazy.

"I'm sorry, Greg. I don't know how to deal with you like this. I just want to help you," she said with a tear falling from her eye.

He sprung up angrily. "I don't want anyone's help, can't you understand?" He walked off into the kitchen.

She came up behind him, not giving up easily. "Greg, I'm going to stay here until you talk to me," she said defiantly. She stood right behind him.

Anger was building up inside him he could not control. He spun around. "Leave me alone," he yelled then proceeded to push her away from him, backing her into the counter.

She hit her back against the counter and cried out in pain. She stared at him, stunned and in tears, not believing what just happened. She slowly edged back away from him, just wanting to get away from him now, unsure of what change might come over him next.

Greg suddenly realized what he had done when he heard her yell out in pain and started backing away from him in fear. He saw fear in her eyes, fear of him. She was scared of him and that was the last thing he ever wanted to happen. He did not want to hurt her and he had.

"Catherine, I'm sorry. I am so sorry," he said in a shaky voice. "Please don't leave, you are right, I need help. I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you." Tears started to roll down his cheeks as he slid down the wall to the floor.

She stopped retreating when she saw him collapse into a heap on the ground, still saying how sorry he was.

He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, heaving sobs pouring out of him now.

She could not stand seeing him fall like this before her eyes. She went over to him and sat down. She said his name quietly. He looked up at her, his eyes bloodshot and puffy.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed out.

"I know," she said finally able to touch him without him reacting poorly. Her eyes filled with tears for him.

"Come here," she told him as she drew him into to hold him. He practically leapt into her arms, holding her so tightly as he cried.

She had never seen him in a state like this before. It killed her to see him suffering so much. She just held onto him tight, telling him everything would be okay.

They sat like that for a few minutes before he composed himself again. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "Thanks," he said to her softly as she watched him carefully get up off the floor.

"Where are you going?" She asked him.

He looked back at her. "To the bathroom."

"Oh," she replied sheepishly.

"I think I might take a shower while I am at it. It might make me feel better."

She smiled at him. "Okay, holler if you need me for anything."

He nodded and went off in the direction of his bedroom.

When he got out she would have to talk to him about getting professional help and if need be, a new doctor.

She got up and started cleaning up his place some to keep her mind from worrying too much about him. She gathered up his beer cans and the two vodka bottles he had laying on his coffee table. She trashed them, then opened his refrigerator and saw it as mostly bare except for a few beers and a box of leftover Chinese food and water bottles. She shook her head wondering when the last time he ate a decent meal. He had not gained weight since they were locked away.

It had been a few minutes since she heard the shower stop running. She wondered why he had not come out yet.

She walked into his bedroom and saw the bathroom door cracked open. She peeked inside and saw him standing with a towel wrapped around his waist, staring at his back's reflection in the mirror. She noticed the haunted look in his eyes.

She cracked open the door more. "Greg?"

He spun around and looked at her. "What?" He seemed surprised to see her.

She came in closer to him, noticing more just how thin he really was. "Greg, stop doing this to yourself."

He gave her a questioning look. "Doing what?"

"You keep looking at your scars. They are not going to disappear you know that," she said gently to him.

He hung his head. "I was looking to see if there were new ones." He gazed back up at her. "I know you think I am loosing my mind."

She laid her head against his shoulder. "You're not loosing your mind. You've had so much happen to you. You are having some kind of post traumatic stress going on probably."

He sighed heavily. "Maybe. I'm just so tired. I don't know what's real or not anymore."

"Why don't you get dressed and come to bed with me?" She asked him.

He frowned. "I'll try. Give me a minute."

She left him alone and straightened out his bed, which looked like it hardly had been slept in.

She sat on his bed, waiting on him to come out.

He popped a couple more Vicodin before coming out wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. His hair was towel dried. He looked worn out and tired still. She noticed he could not look at her directly as he walked by her and sat down on the bed.

He sat so his back was to her. "I'm afraid to sleep," he said so quietly she barely heard him.

"God, Greg. I don't know what to tell you. Maybe if you talk about these dreams you have been having, it will help."

He shook his head. "No, they feel too real as it is. To talk about them…I don't know. I keep waking up in a panic or I am confused or scared out of my mind. And as you saw, sometimes not where I fell asleep either. At first when I started getting them I did not remember what they were, but lately I can remember too much of them."

"It helped before when you talked to me about your nightmares," she said trying to encourage him.

He shook his head again. "I don't think I can do that this time. I just simply want to forget all of it."

"So you've been drinking to try to forget? That's not the way to do it Greg and you know it."

He got up and started pacing, running his hands through his hair. "I know, but it helps temporarily okay. I don't know what else to do. I can't take this much longer."

She could hear a bit of panic in his voice. She had to try to calm him down again. She stood up and grabbed his arm to stop him from pacing. She could feel him trembling. She tried to get him to look at her in her eyes.

"Greg, why don't you just come lay down with me for awhile. In the morning I'll take you to see Dr. Felix and tell him what is going on."

He shook his head again. "No, not him. I don't feel comfortable with him."

She sighed. "Fine, but you need professional help. We will find someone else then for you. Please, just tell me you will try. You are scaring me, Greg," her voice quivered.

He saw the fear and sadness in her blue eyes and finally nodded. "Okay," he told her, knowing she was right. He could not do this on his own.

"Good. So for now, just lay with me in bed," she said to him. She took his hand and guided him back to his bed. She laid down first, leaving space for him to come. She noticed he hesitated a moment but then finally laid down next to her.

He turned to face her. "What now?" He asked her softly, his brown eyes so full of sadness.

She smiled at him, trying to make him feel better. "Whatever you want?"

He gazed at her. "I just want to take in your beauty, inside and out and thank you for putting up with me. I would not be able to be with me if I were you."

She stared at him with love, caressing his face with her hand. "I don't give up on people I love that easily."

He was looking at her seriously. "I don't deserve you."

She frowned. "Greg, don't say that. That is not true."

He did not respond. Instead he turned his gaze away. After a minute he spoke again. "I think I might try to sleep again."

She nodded. "Okay."

He gave her a small, quick smile and closed his eyes.

She stared at him, concern clearly showing on her face. He had never been this down before. His attitude and outlook on everything had her very alarmed. She was only glad he had agreed to see a professional for help.

She could tell he had fallen asleep by his breathing. She silently prayed he would not have any more of his nightmares. Then she drifted off into her own sleep.