The dusk vanished slowly with a note of chary sunset. Beautiful color flooded the valley as the sun pulled itself down and sunk beneath the jagged mountain ranges and beyond the horizon, darkening the border and extinguishing the light, leaving it once again cold, blank and empty.
Tigress, do you know you own one of the most beautiful eyes?
Yes, it was like fire. Like a sunset!
Like what I see now.
It's so much like you, and your captivating eyes.
Beautiful, passionate and intense.
The sole black and white figure stood among the groove of the ironwood trees, clasping a praying incense in his paws. Ceremoniously, he stuck it on the ground where a modest stone marked her last place of rest. With his devoid and somber look, he traced his blunt claws on the inscription of her name.
It's been a year Tigress. But never a day passed without me thinking about you.
He combed his gaze around him, standing in solitude among the groove of the very trees the stripy cat had grown fond of training upon. He touched its tattooed bark, reminiscing the feline that had etched her signature upon it. Now, she was sleeping beneath their roots, the same tigress that had placed her marks, had returned the sentiment with her own form and energy.
The words of her last eulogy and benediction replayed in his head.
We lived our lives to seek our destiny and fulfill the purpose ordained by the universe. One day, someday, we will reap the rewards of our effort and sacrifices. As many had gone before her, and at the appointed time, Master Tigress, our dear beloved friend, comrades and daughter had fulfilled her purpose and destiny and embraced it with open arms.
Her servitude, loyalty, and bravery would be remembered as her living legacy of keeping the innocent life save, and bringing justice to the wicked. We were hopeful she had earned her peace within, which now she resides.
Master Tigress, you've fought a good fight.
We will forever cherish the memories you have left behind, we will keep your wishes and your dreams alive in our hearts, and we are looking forward the time when we shall join you at last.
A single bead of tears fell from his usual jovial eyes, lamenting the loss of a comrade.
A friend.
A soul mate.
Sadness and desperation bled through his thoughts. A Kung Fu warrior his caliber should master controlling his emotion, so he thought. He futilely attempted to clear his mind, suppressing her stripey form to sporadically surfaced in his thought. He was much familiar with this mental battle, day to weeks…months to years. He fought to forget her. But how could he? In his heart, she had carved countless memories no one could steal, and in turn, inflicted such a grievous hurt no one could heal.
He still remembered how their first friendship bloomed in the wake of Tai Lung's defeat. How happy he was to live his dream to fight alongside his heroes: that prideful look she bestowed upon him after he vanquished the demented peacock. Or the unbidden embrace she gave him after he returned from the Spirit Realm.
He hastily wiped the last evidence of salty water from the corner of his eyes.
Everything he loved had become everything he lost.
He had to learn how to act, to move on, to fill the day without her by his side. It was crazy to think he could go months and years without talking to her, but the tiger still crossed his mind every single day, from the smell of morning dew to the lulling voice of slumber. In a moment of reclusion, he often laid his bed, wistfully hoping to fall asleep before his emotions falling apart. He desperately tried to hold to the love, and not the loss, but it seemed impossible to separate the two.
He trudged back into the deserted training hall, well yeah… it was past dinner time, in fact, it was close to midnight. He hadn't realized how long he did spend grieving by her grave.
Tigress, do you remember the nights I often sneak up on you?
You often trained here alone.
And I, with my panda stealth mode, prying on what kind of bodacious move you were perfecting.
Now the nights are quieter without you.
It's almost weird to wander around here at night, never to see anyone again inside.
But I missed you smile the most….
I know you only savor it to selected few, and I am glad I am one of them.
I guess…. because it covers so much about you - your loyalty, your protectiveness, your earnestness... Yes, that same smile you gave me after I defeat Tai Lung….Shen and Kai.
In that smile, I managed to find a lot of things I love about you.
But of course, amidst his own grievances, Po knew perhaps Shifu was far more broken than he ever was. The Grand Master knew Tigress since she was a mere cub, although they shared the most unorthodox relationship, no one, not even Tigress, would dare to deny the love and connection they shared. Po could only imagine, how hard it is for Shifu to lose both of his children. He remembered, a year ago, right after the incident, how both of them mourned their loss together.
"Master Shifu… I am sorry… I-" His voice grinding hoarsely around the corner of his words. Just as the panda about to utter the strings of condolences and remorse that he had practiced hundreds of times, his Master already knew what he was about to say.
"Po… don't blame yourself. You've done all you can." He turned around, revealing the touch of sadness that enshroud his azure eyes. "It's her time, Po. We all had to accept it." Po picked up an uncharacteristic rasp in his Master's voice, which stung harshly in his ears.
There might be strength in unity, as they stood face to face, exchanging the same sentiment and the burden of contrition towards the person they all loved.
"Oh yes Po, I believe this is yours." Shifu handed over a scroll. "Open it when you are ready. You don't have to do that just yet." He judiciously advised.
In his solitary confinement, Po scrutinized the modest golden canister that was engraved painstakingly with his name. He second guessed it was Tigress' last message for him.
That night, during a moment of repose, he crept quietly to the place he and the tiger usually would spend their time together. He thought it could only be fitting to do so. His paws shivered, and his heart raced as he slipped his hand to reach the parchment that held the most important piece of the tigress' mind.
Po,
If you received this letter, we both knew what has happened.
As a Warrior, Shifu taught me to live and die for what we believe in, to protect those we love, and to strive for peace and justice. I had no regrets to follow this pledge and hopefully I had made Shifu and every one of you proud.
I always envisioned myself dying on the battlefield, never to grow old, to see my pelt turning white, puckered and saggy…. ailing in muscle atrophy, or going senile and crotchety. I viewed growing old as a sign of submission into uselessness, and living in solitude was unwilling choice.
Po, the words that you are going to read here are only for you and your eyes only. I knew from the start I could confide a lot of things to you. You are my best friend, my brother in arms, and most importantly, you understand me.
I had never been proud of the way I treated you when we first met. There are simply no excuses for such unwarranted prejudice. I don't know whether I would ever forgive myself. I know you had never held any grudges against me, even readily forgave me before my word of apology reached your ears. But for that I know…., why neither me or Tai Lung was suitable to hold such honorific title as Dragon Warrior.
Your heart has made you a great hero, Po…. even so a greater friend.
Since you came into my life, you've taught me things I would never learn from mastering all the thousand scrolls or spending decades in reclusive meditation. Your selflessness, forgiving spirit, unwitting positivity and benevolence had carved far and deep into the impregnable iron heart of mine. I am deeply humbled and grateful to have a chance to fight alongside you, and being able to call you my comrade and….my friend.
I could foresee that you would retell the story of a valiant tigress in her bodacious adventure with Dragon Warrior and Furious Five. But I wanted you to tell the world, the other side of me, the tigress that full of spite, embitterment and bigotry towards you, the tigress that full of insecurity and dying to proof herself worth, the tigress that hid behind the shadow of hardcore-ness to trick other of what lying underneath was a fragile hurting soul.
Po, I hope you remember me not just for the good and the better, but also the bad and the worse. For that the tigress that you know and care.
And if there is one other thing that I want you to do for me, was to adopt Lei Lei as your child. I was a hapless orphan when Shifu found me, and he gave me a chance in life, however imperfect, to feel some form of paternal love and affection. It's my deepest regret that I am not in the position of offering her the same privilege, and that's where I extended my plea to you.
Po, my wish is that you won't ever need to read this letter, and that would mean that I'll be with you and the rest for the rest of my mortal presence… and I wouldn't have it any other way.
However, if you did read this paragraph - I could only apologize….for I can't be the one who could offer you words of consolation and provide a shoulder to cry on. Truthfully, the thought of living a long life, prospect of aging, growing frail, helpless and fragile isn't as frightening anymore, now that we've met.
And since this will be my last words, I guess it won't hurt to admit it. That you've stolen and melt my solid heart. I love you, Po…. and please forgive me. I bid you my farewell.
Until we meet again.
Yours,
Tigress
Subsequently, all he remembered was lumbering forward with both of his paws on his face, drowning in choking sobs underneath that peach tree. There was no language. No words, could describe his unbearable sadness.
Under the starless and blindness of night. He offered her a prayer.
"Tigress… I love you too."
A few days after that, Li Shan came to visit. For most of the days, everything around Jade Palace seemed to have returned to some extent of normality. All the training, the cheffing, and the teaching had run as usual. But in the middle of the night, there was a faint knock on his door. Recognizing the distinct delineation of his younger self behind the rice paper door, Li raised his voice.
"Son?"
"Dad… can I talk to you?"
Li could see the streak trailing across his son's face. He'd been crying again. Li had seen this coming since he came to the valley a few days ago, Po hadn't breathed a word about the loss of his heroine. With a soft sigh, he opened the door and unceremoniously threw himself on the chair. Ears were ready to listen.
"Sure, Son." He motioned Po to sit down, but the panda just froze by his door frame.
"Dad… how could I..-" He saw the insufferable pain clung all over his son's feature, the same expression of anguish which he himself was very familiar with, that he hadn't felt in years, now anchored within his son's expression. Even with such a short inquiry, Li immediately understood. He had lost someone he held dear before, he had tasted his own tears, buried his life under his own grief.
"Po… it gets easier with time. You just have to be patient, son."
"But how long, until…-" He was again lost in words. Li placed his arm across his son's shoulder and told him affectionately.
"If you love someone more than anything, then time only matter to the mind, not to the heart."
It was thirty years since that day had passed. The same panda stood at the same spot, offering the same thing. His sullen eyes gazed woefully at her gravestone. His ebony black pelt and graying white glimmer in receding daylight.
But this time, he wasn't alone. A young female panda half his age was next to him.
He placed a piece of paper that yellowed and aged with time in front of the altar. It was his last tangible memory of the tiger before she left her last note of mortal existence.
A familiar surge of sadness sliced through his bleeding soul. He knew no matter where he opened his sail, regardless of the direction of the wind, nor numerous adventure he would endeavor along the way, his heart would anchor towards her.
"Dad… was that, my mom?" His daughter's voice had awoken him from his momentarily musing.
The older panda briefly flicked his gaze, meeting her curious cerulean eyes. He smiled poignantly as his arm extended to reach the picture which laid rest on the altar and handed it over for the young panda to scrutinize.
"Yes… she is."
"How was she like?"
He smiled again to make up for the lack of vocality. This time, it wasn't somber, it was a sincere smile from the depth of his soul. The recollection of their missions, numerous sparring session, ran through his head, to a simpler time of washing dishes together, sneaking out for a midnight snack, stealing monkey's almond cookies, to sitting down around the kitchen table savoring his latest culinary experiment.
"She is a total package… smart, beautiful, strong willed... kind and passionate." He explicated, and quickly appended, "sometimes... she was insecure about herself, very much short tempered….but I wouldn't have it any other way. Her imperfection made us perfect for each other."
"I take it you missed her after all these years." She commented, placing her sympathetic smile and rubbing her father's arm affectionately.
"Yes… I do." He admitted. "But, distance means a little...when someone means so much."
Inspired by Till We Sing You To Sleep by marlinowl
My other fiction.
The Warriors (Kung Fu Panda) s/12001725/1/The-Warriors
Panda Friend (Kung Fu Panda) s/11976931/1/Panda-Friend
Moving Out (Kung Fu Panda) s/11973064/1/Moving-Out
KFP Drabble: s/11975907/1/KFP-Drabble-You-and-Me