Chapter nineteen – Training
Their awakening the following morning closely resembled that of the previous one. A servant came in and served the breakfast. When Kagome and Sesshoumaru had got up, she hurried to clear out their futons. After that, she left the room.
Haruka had also arrived, with his sister Hotaru, and Kagome had to sit – and stand – through another session during which she was styled to the latest fashions of Sengoku jidai. In practice, this meant being dressed up in another heavy, layered and restricting kimono with annoyingly wide, flowing clingy sleeves, and having her hair pulled out tight on the traditional way. Hotaru even combed her bangs out of the way and held them in place with a strategically placed ornamental comb.
The only difference to what was quickly turning out to be a routine, was that when Haruka and Hotaru bowed themselves out of Sesshoumaru's room, the inudaiyoukai and the miko were not left alone.
Close to the shoji screen door of Sesshoumaru's room sat Izumi, her form impeccable in seiza and her hands neatly folded in her lap.
As Kagome was ready to sit down at breakfast, the servant cleared her throat.
Kagome turned to look at the demoness, who gracefully bowed down.
"If I may speak up, young lady," Izumi said politely. "As you are to become the young lord's mate, should you not already perform the tasks the mate is expected to perform?"
Kagome stared blankly at Izumi.
"As she is not born into a demon court," Sesshoumaru said pointedly, "Kagome would not know about the duties you expect from her."
"Forgive me, my lord," Izumi said smoothly. "I did not realise you expected me to inform the young lady about matters such as these, instead of educating your intended yourself."
Even though Izumi's tone of voice was ever so polite, both Sesshoumaru and Kagome immediately recognised the barb for what it was.
Kagome's human heritage was not a good enough excuse for her ignorance in Izumi's eyes, as Sesshoumaru could have as well informed her of the customs of the demon society.
"Young lady, as the mate you are expected to attend to your lord."
"Attend to him in what sense?" Kagome frowned.
"Do those tasks that could not be trusted to lowly servants - such as myself. Like dressing him."
"You mean I need to dress Sesshoumaru?" Kagome shrieked incredulously.
"A young lady should not raise her voice under any circumstances!" Izumi barked out sternly.
Kagome glared at the servant.
"Glowering others is not proper behaviour either," Izumi informed calmly, evenly meeting the priestess' irritated gaze.
Kagome decided to let it go. It was too early in the morning for arguing with annoying teachers.
Sitting down properly in seiza Kagome bowed down before Sesshoumaru.
"My lord, I offer you my assistance," she said, mimicking the way Haruka always presented himself to her before dressing her.
Kagome could tell Sesshoumaru was not enjoying this either. He looked almost uncomfortable, and the look in his golden eyes hardened each time they fell on Izumi.
"I am sure the young lord would appreciate it if you lost that tone of your voice," Izumi said pointedly, shaking her head. "I see I have my work cut out for me," she sighed to herself. "Even her posture is poor."
"Well excuse me for lacking in your demonic grace!" Kagome snapped, her eyes ablaze.
"Really, young lady," Izumi gasped, sounding horrified, "you really should try to control your temper."
A pregnant silence fell, during which Kagome and Izumi silently kept measuring each other out.
"I believe," Sesshoumaru said, his deep voice cutting through the silence and the tension filling the room, "that you were assigned to help Kagome." Sesshoumaru's cold eyes bore into Izumi's. "This Sesshoumaru fails to see how insulting and provoking this Sesshoumaru's intended will help her improve."
"I beg for your forgiveness, my lord," Izumi said, gracefully bowing so low that her forehead almost touched the floor. "I admit I tested the young lady for I needed to know how much she requires my help. I do apologise if I started out too harshly."
"I want you to keep in mind that she is not used to life in court," Sesshoumaru reminded. "While she may appear to be clueless at the beginning, I assure you that Kagome is very clever and will learn quickly whatever you hope to teach to her."
"If you say so, my lord," Izumi said pleasantly.
"Proceed," Sesshoumaru told to Kagome. "Please," he added, that last word uttered more softly than any of those preceding it.
Kagome swallowed nervously and rose to her feet. Hesitatingly, she placed her hands to the obi of Sesshoumaru's dark blue yukata he had slept in. Her unsure eyes sought out his, and he nodded curtly in response.
Her fingers trembling slightly, Kagome unknotted the obi and pulled it away. She kept her eyes carefully on his pale chest as she slid off the yukata.
Sesshoumaru tried his best to quell the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach. No matter what the court expectations and traditional mannerisms dictated, he did not want to have Kagome perform mundane tasks more suited for servants. The whole thing was ridiculous in itself – as if Sesshoumaru did not know how to dress himself! But even though he hated it, he knew better than to tell Kagome not to go through with the stupid tradition. He could not, when Izumi was watching. And as much as he loathed it all, he had to admit that the servant was right, attending to her lord was the behaviour expected from the lord's mate. Sesshoumaru mused to himself that the practise probably had been set up to remind the mates that the ruling lord was higher in status than they were. After all, several of the demonesses Sesshoumaru knew were a bit on the arrogant side. Of course, this did not hold true for Kagome, but she was not a demoness to begin with - and frankly, that did present a bit of a problem for them. Although Sesshoumaru himself could not care less for Kagome's human blood, he was well aware that many of the demons in the court were not quite as open minded. Kagome would meet enough of difficulties to begin with, and neglecting what had become a custom in the inuyoukai court would probably only be blamed on her, even if Sesshoumaru himself would excuse Kagome of the insignificant, mundane duties. Sesshoumaru scowled, when a new thought emerged. Rather, if he excused Kagome, it would become troublesome for the both of them. Sesshoumaru did not doubt that the ones opposing his choice of a mate would find a granted leniency like that a weakness of his part… And appearing weak in front his subjects was the worst thing he could do at the moment.
Sesshoumaru snapped out of his thoughts just as Kagome tied the yellow and blue sash in place, stepped back and once again knelt down in front of him.
"Do not do that," he found himself saying.
Kagome looked up to him, surprised.
Izumi was frowning.
"This Sesshoumaru cares not what others may think… In this Sesshoumaru's eyes, you are an equal."
"But my lord –" Izumi managed to cry out before she was shocked into silence by the sight that met her eyes.
Sesshoumaru had knelt down on the tatami floor and taken Kagome's hands in his own. For a moment he merely looked into her widened sapphire eyes. Then he straightened himself, pulling the woman up with him.
His golden eyes sought out Izumi.
"I am aware of what the court expects – both of my intended and myself. Still, I find no point to see my mate bowing down to me to insert her inferiority – not when we are alone by ourselves. Before the court, she will behave impeccably and according to her station. But what happens behind the closed doors of this Sesshoumaru's room is of no concern to them!"
For awhile, Izumi unblinkingly met his gaze. Something akin to respect flashed in the depths of her dark brown eyes, before she bowed down lowly.
"If that is your wish, young master."
Sesshoumaru was still holding Kagome as he guided her over to the table on which the breakfast was set. He sat her down gently before seating himself opposite to her.
"Come on, eat." rather than a command, he was bidding her. The tone of his voice was unexpectedly gentle. Kagome could not read the look in his eyes, but it somehow made her feel like squirming.
"Thank you," she said softly. "I… I'll go wash my hands," she said quickly, and walked off to the bathroom.
"Pardon this lowly servant for speaking up," Izumi suddenly said in a low voice Kagome would not hear to the adjoining bathroom, "but I must say the young lord's honne is quite different to what I was expecting."
Sesshoumaru turned to sharply look at the servant, but to his surprise, he found her watching him with an amiable smile playing on her lips. With a start he realised that it was in fact the very first time he had seen a smile on Izumi's face. It changed her features completely and the woman appeared much friendlier and warmer than Sesshoumaru had believed possible.
-CcC-
That afternoon, Kagome stood on the green grass of the garden, stealing anxious glances at Kenichirou. There was also someone else present, a dog demon she had never seen before.
Kagome had changed from her heavy and drape-y kimono into the traditional garb of a priestess – all with Haruka's help, of course. She had been surprised, when the dresser offered her the red hakama and the white haori of the traditional outfit of a Shinto priestess. Hotaru had arranged her hair up on a high samurai tail. The weight of her hair kept swishing back and forth every time she moved, and it was starting to annoy her.
"It is on the order of her ladyship," Haruka had explained, noticing the way Kagome had kept glancing at her clothing. "Her ladyship thought it would serve as an ample reminder to everyone in the castle."
"I suppose she had her reasons," Kagome mumbled under her breath.
"Did you say something?" Kenichirou asked pointedly.
She looked sharply at him. Something about him felt different from before, but she couldn't tell what had changed.
"I was just thinking… Why did Kimiko-sama ask you to train me?"
"Well, I suppose the most obvious reason for it is the chain. Although at the moment it is quite long indeed, it might still disrupt your movement. Just imagine you and Sesshoumaru both yanking it about at your respective ends."
"Yeah, that might not go too well," Kagome admitted. She felt a bit stupid, she should have realised a reason like that herself.
"The other reason is that she suspects Sesshoumaru might go too soft on you. I am very fond of you, Kagome-san, but I also have your best interests on my mind. You need to learn this, and I am going to do anything I can to make sure you will."
Kagome nodded slowly.
"The last reason I suppose is because my fighting style will suit our purposes better than Sesshoumaru's. He relies on his speed and strength. He counters an attack by force. His style is impossible for you to master, since you can never possess strength like his. We are going to be taking an advantage of your agility. For you, it is more crucial to learn to dodge and evade than try to stop the blow."
Kagome nodded again.
"I understand. Thank you for explaining."
"It is important for you to know this," Kenichirou said, flashing Kagome a grin.
That is it, Kagome suddenly realised. That had been the first time the eastern heir had smiled at her since she had joined him in the garden. She had seen Kenichirou's serious face before, but this time still felt different to her. It was like a completely new side to Kenichirou.
"Now then, let us get down to business. This fellow here is Daiki," Kenichirou introduced the wide-shouldered inuyoukai who was standing next to him.
"Is he to spar with me?" Kagome asked hesitantly.
"No. I have taken liberties of finding you a fitting sparring partner, but it will take a while for you to reach that level. Daiki here is one of the guards of this castle. I was told that he is quite skilled in archery, and since I knew you already are familiar with a bow, I figured some extra training with that would not hurt."
"I appreciate it," Kagome said and flashed a bright smile for the inu youkai guard. He curtly nodded back.
"I thought that we should start slowly," Kenichirou continued. "Today we will only be doing some exercises that will help to improve your stamina and agility."
And that's how she found herself running. It was to build up her stamina. Kenichirou told she should from now on run every day. Though Kagome's travels in the past had help her to shape up somewhat, the truth was that since she was from the future and had lived surrounded by the modern comforts, she lacked the fitness and toughness typical for the representatives of the Sengoku era, who had all done physical labour ever since they had been mere children. Even if that was not true for the higher nobles in the demon court, Kenichirou had told Kagome that even high born females were trained to fight. Demons were closer to the world of animals in that sense. They did not discriminate between males and females so much. For them, the idea of the doll-like existence of a human hime was an absurdity. Sure, they would all behave gracefully and be the perfect ladies, but in the end demons were clearly more in touch with their primitive side. Kagome didn't doubt for a second that even though Kimiko, Izumi and Aiko the matchmaker all were like the epitome of a perfect lady, there was a dormant predator lying beneath the surface. In that regard she was of course at a disadvantage. But she hoped that with the training of Kenichirou, she could at least learn to defend herself. She was sick and tired of being the damsel in the distress.
She ran, until Kenichirou told her to stop. By then she was already panting, and sweat was glistening on her brow, occasionally stinging her eyes, but she chose not to care.
"The purpose of this next exercise is to improve your agility. The rules are simple: do not get hit."
Kagome looked at him blankly, but the next second had to quickly step aside. Something whistled past her right by her ear. Eyes wide, she looked back to Kenichirou, who was already holding another ball in his hand. It was roughly the size of a tennis ball, and appeared to be made of leather. And then, the next moment she felt something small and heavy contact her lower back. She whipped around to see that the inu youkai guard who was to be her archery teacher, had also been recruited for this game. It was like some twisted version of dodge ball, with several balls in the play, and with two attackers, who both mercilessly took advantage of their demonic strength and speed. Every now and then she would feel the impact of the hit, even though she tried her best to dodge and to avoid the small balls. They were probably filled with sand, for each time they hit her, the little balls felt so heavy. It was hard to evade them, since Kenichirou and Daiki kept the balls coming with such a dizzying speed. Also, Kagome was conveniently situated between the two, so no matter how hard she tried to dodge, one of them would always be aiming at her from behind. Even though she thought it was unfair, she bit back her complaints. She thought she understood what Kenichirou was trying to get at. Not all of her possible future opponents would battle fairly. Sooner or later, someone would try and sneak behind her back, and with this training, she had a chance to improve both her agility and her instincts. And then, when she was panting hard, when her legs were trembling and her knees felt so weak they would give out on her at any possible moment, Kenichirou and Daiki finally stopped.
Kagome slumped, her head bowed and her hands resting on her knees. She struggled to catch her breath as Kenichirou curtly thanked the dog demon guard for his co-operation. When Kagome straightened herself, she found Kenichirou's eyes on her. He was holding a long and smooth piece of dark wood in his hand. It immediately brought to her mind an image of bokken, the wooden practice sword she had seen used by the students in the kendo club.
"It would be too early to hand an actual katana to you," Kenichirou said and bid Kagome to take the practice sword. Mutely she did.
"I will teach you now a few simple and basic attack moves."
And then Kagome watched and learned. Kenichirou guided her through the series of successive, smooth and precise movements, and she tried her best to mimic his actions with her wooden sword. She was still too hesitant, and lacked the ease and precision with which Kenichirou had wielded his blade, but it was all to be expected. After Kenichirou felt she had repeated the moves he had taught her enough, he relaxed slightly.
"This is enough for today, Kagome-san," he said, and the tone of his voice had softened from what it had been before during their practice. "Do not forget what I taught to you today, and do not fear the sword. It will take a while to get used to its feel, but in the end it is nothing but a tool, an extension of your arm."
Kagome nodded slowly and suddenly realised just how exhausted, sweaty and gritty she was feeling. She had to bite back the groan looming at the back of her throat.
"I shall turn you over then," Kenichirou said, flashing a brief grin. Kagome stared at her in confusion, but then felt the sound of throat being cleared behind her. The miko turned around to see Izumi, as impeccable as always, standing on the soft grass of the garden.
"A bath has been run for you, young lady," she said with a graceful bow of her head. "I must bid you to hurry. Her Ladyship wishes for you to join her for a cup of tea."
This time, Kagome did nothing to stop the groan that escaped from her lips.
-CcC-
Soaking in the hot bath eased her muscles that had begun to ache ever so slightly. For once, she did not even have it in her to object to the dutiful servant who was there to wash her. Hell, after the torture she had just been through, she had the full right to be pampered! She closed her eyes and sighed contently as the timid demon servant carefully and gently washed her back. Kagome would have wished to soak in the hot water for hours, but she knew that was not an option. She had no doubts that Izumi would kindly refrain behind the paper shoji screen that separated the bathroom from the rest of Sesshoumaru's room. If the persistent servant would think Kagome was dawdling, she would without a doubt rush in to interrupt her young mistress' bath. It was better to wash quickly. She sighed mournfully as she forced herself out of the bath. The gentle maid who had washed Kagome's back hurried to dry her up. Then she helped the white kimono undershirt on the miko, before she bowed and opened the shoji door so that Kagome could proceed into the main room. The next moment Kagome stood still while Haruka expertly draped silk on her, layer after layer. She was trying really hard to ignore the bruises she had received during Kenichirou's training and the fact that her legs still felt tired and weak. She could feel two scrutinising pairs of demonic eyes on her. Even without turning her head to check, she knew that those belonged to Izumi and Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru had been quite silent since that morning, but she had felt his eyes on her often. She thought that his behaviour was actually rather odd. There was also this strange look in the depth of his eyes every now and then. Kagome shrugged it off. Haruka finished tying the heavy obi on her and a moment later she was sitting rigidly in seiza – a position which only seemed to emphasize the fact that her legs and feet were sore – and biting hard down her lip as Hotaru mercilessly pulled at her hair to gather it all up in the traditional style Kagome had begun to hate. It was uncomfortable and heavy and inconvenient. After a while she was ready, and Sesshoumaru and Izumi stood up. Sesshoumaru came to her side, which took Kagome by surprise. She didn't mind it though. Izumi lead the way when the three of them walked along the long and narrow corridors towards the Lady's quarters. They finally reached the shoji door, and Izumi kneeled down to open the door for Sesshoumaru and Kagome. Kagome stepped in and to her surprise noticed that the Matchmaker was not there. Still, she had noticed that the Lady of the Western lands was never alone. There was always the same two old lady servants hovering nearby. With a sudden flash of insight she realised that a woman of her status could not even relax in her own room unattended. And as she heard the shoji door slide shut behind her and from the corner of her eye saw Izumi straighten herself, a realisation suddenly dawned on her that the same now applied to her as well. Izumi was much like a shadow glued to Kagome's heels. Kagome frowned and then swallowed nervously when she felt the weight of the Lady's gaze settle on her.
For the briefest moment, she saw a strange emotion flicker in those golden depths so similar to Sesshoumaru's. Then, the Lady's eyes swept off her, leaving Kagome blinking, confused.
"The young lady looks quite presentable," Kimiko addressed Izumi, rather than speaking directly to the miko. Her tone of the voice was so indifferent that Kagome couldn't know for sure if Kimiko actually was being sincere, or if she was making fun of her.
Izumi bowed her head.
"I will pass your Ladyship's compliments to her attendants," the servant said smoothly.
"Come, children," the Lady beckoned.
Sesshoumaru lead Kagome forward and they joined the lady at the low table. They sat on the tatami floor. Kagome shifted uncomfortably on her seat. She was still not used to the rigid formality of seiza, especially not when her muscles were aching. Izumi had followed them, but she did not join them at the table. She sat herself at the tatami, few feet from Kagome's left elbow. Kagome glanced at her from the corner of her eye and found the servant sternly glowering at her. Kagome immediately stopped fidgeting and sat up straighter. Kimiko's keen eyes did not miss the silent encounter and a smug smile slowly took over her painted lips. Yes, she had done well in appointing Izumi as Kagome's senior attendant. It had not been an easy decision to make. Izumi had been with her a long time, and was one of her attendants that she most trusted. But Kimiko had understood that Kagome would need the resourceful tanuki more. And whatever Kimiko's personal feelings were regarding her son's intended mate, she would not let the young woman fall into hands of a person she did not absolutely trust. Kimiko might not often see eye to eye with her son, but she still was his mother. And the miko would, in six weeks time, be family. And all inuyoukai had very strong perceptions of the meaning of one's family.
A servant came over carrying a tray. She set down onto the table a pot of tea, followed by three empty cups. Then she held the tray to her chest, bowed, and retreated.
Kimiko's unreadable golden eyes returned on Kagome.
"Would you be a dear and pour the tea for us?"
Kagome was so taken aback by this suggestion that the curious 'why' slipped from her lips before she had time to think twice.
It was not Kimiko who replied her, but Izumi's stern voice, laced with the slightest hint of reprimand.
"Because eventually, young lady, you will be the ruling lord's mate, and in the name of courtesy it will be your duty to serve the esteemed and high ranking visitors."
A sudden image surfaced in Kagome's mind. When the Fortune Teller had come to answer Kimiko's summons, Kagome had noticed how the Lady of the Western Lands had gracefully poured a cup of tea for the ancient dragon demoness. And with that memory, she understood.
Hesitantly, her hand wrapped around the bamboo handle of the artfully painted, clay teapot and was about to pick it up when Izumi cleared her throat.
Instantly, the miko froze.
"Yes?" she groaned.
"If this humble servant may speak up," Izumi began ever so politely, "it would please me if the young lady's movements were a little more graceful."
Kagome almost – almost – let out a very audible snort. Gracefulness was really the last thing on her mind! She was sore and bruised and exhausted – and it took all the self-control that she possessed not to squirm uncomfortably. Sitting in the stupid seiza was by now making her already abused poor ankles throb painfully.
"I would also like to point out that the young lady should brush her sleeve aside first."
Kagome blinked stupidly. That she hadn't even thought of. The wide, long and quite impractical kimono sleeve would without a doubt get in her way. She had a vague memory of geisha serving tea in some of those periodical doramas that her mother loved to watch. She let go of the handle and tried again, this time attempting to mimic the movements shown on TV. With her left hand, she carefully slightly peeled back the sleeve draping over her right hand, and then folded the heavy silk to the side. As her fingers wrapped around the bamboo handle once more, her left hand was pinning the sleeve to its place.
"Keep the fingers together." came Izumi's quiet voice at her elbow, and Kagome corrected the pose of her left hand slightly, according to the servant's instructions.
Carefully, she poured tea to all three cups, before handing both Kimiko and Sesshoumaru their respective cups. As she picked up her own, she stole a glance at Izumi. The servant nodded slightly, and the expression on her face told Kagome that the demoness was pleased with the miko's performance.
"Oh, this reminds me," Kimiko drawled in after sipping her tea. Her eyes once again sought out Kagome. The miko chose to stare at the steam raising from her clay cup.
"Izumi, make sure to teach the young lady the art of sadou."
"Yes, my lady," Izumi replied immediately and bowed down.
Kagome paled down slightly. She'd have to learn tea ceremony as well? Then, she probably should have seen that coming. If anything was a lady-like hobby, the tea ceremony certainly was just that. With a great effort, she suppressed her urge to pout and opted to drink her tea in silence. It would be another challenge to take, she resolved. She was tired of always feeling apprehended. It was evident that Kimiko would have her way. And frankly, the prospect of learning the tea ceremony was actually quite interesting. Kagome remembered the words Kenichirou had spoken the night before, how the snow leopard had speculated that Kimiko was doing all of this for Kagome's benefit. Though that thought still felt rather incredulous to her, Kagome now had to partly agree with Kenichirou. Her future mother-in-law's motives aside, there was absolutely no reason why she could not benefit from this training that Kimiko had arranged for her. With this new resolve, Kagome sat up straighter. Her attitude towards this should be the first thing to be changed, she calmly analysed. Moping around would amount to nothing.
Slowly, a slight smile curled on her lips as she gracefully lifted the cup to her lips and took a good long sip of the hot, slightly bitter tea.
-CcC-
"Good night, young lord, young lady." The servant bowed, and then slid shut the shoji screen. That screen was usually open during the day, but at night it would be slid shut to enclose the sleeping quarters from the rest of the room.
Sesshoumaru glanced at the priestess who was sitting on her futon. He had to suppress a grin at the sight of were. He was certain that if Izumi – whom Sesshoumaru could feel to be right on the other side of the paper screen - was to see her young lady now, she would surely have a shock of her lifetime. The miko's sitting position was casual, even careless, with her legs spread. It was obvious that she was sick and tired of the formal seiza. She was dressed in a plain dark green yukata as her sleepwear. Her hair was open, and she was idly running her fingers through the black locks. Sesshoumaru shook his head and sat down on his own futon next to hers. His golden gaze returned to regard the young woman next to him. The woman, who was soon to become his mate. A moment later, the priestess shifted under his gaze and turned to stare at him in return.
"What is it?" she asked, frowning.
"Nothing," Sesshoumaru said quietly. "I was just wondering how you are faring."
The miko shrugged at that and flashed him a wry smile.
"I'm still alive," she reported casually. "Slightly bruised, and my legs really hurt, but I'm alive nonetheless. Actually, I decided today that I should just shut up and learn. I think my attitude toward this all has been reluctant, and I should correct that. My behaviour this morning was absolutely appalling."
"Izumi did provoke you," Sesshoumaru reminded.
"So she did. And at times she absolutely infuriates me. She's so strict that at times that it feels almost harsh, and often she makes me feel utterly humiliated… But I think in the end she just wishes me to learn. And I need to learn the skills she has offered to teach me. After all, I am to be the mate of the heir of the West." She smiled again, the kind of a small, hard smile of a person who has accepted her fate.
"I hope you are not thinking too badly of me," Sesshoumaru said, suddenly looking aside.
Kagome frowned in confusion.
"Should I?" she asked perplexed.
When the inudaiyoukai still refused to meet her eyes, Kagome finally understood.
"Oh, Sesshoumaru! You can't still be blaming yourself about this!"
"It is this Sesshoumaru's fault that you are being forced to go through with all this," the demon lord insisted, somewhat stiffly.
"Yeah," Kagome huffed sarcastically. "It's totally your fault for having been born as an heir to the ruling house! How could you, Sesshoumaru?" the miko rolled her eyes.
Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed dangerously. He did not need the miko making fun of him! He was being serious, and the priestess was openly laughing at him!
"Sesshoumaru."
He startled. The tone of her voice was gentle, almost pleading.
"Please stop being so hard on yourself. You did not force me to be your mate. You asked me, and I made the choice. I chose to become your mate, knowing the consequences."
Sesshoumaru sighed quietly. He looked deep into those even sapphire eyes, and he felt that something about the woman had changed today. There was a resolve in those blue depths that he had not noticed before.
"I know," he finally admitted.
"Good. Then stop fretting about it."
"I do not think I can," Sesshoumaru said firmly. "It unnerves me. I… worry about you, and I cannot help it."
He felt highly uncomfortable after the words had escaped from him. He could not understand what had possessed him to speak them out loud – but the expression that had taken over the human woman's face was enough to silence his self-berating thoughts. The look in her eyes had softened and the corners of her lips were curled in a smile.
"You're too considerate for your own good," she breathed out softly. "It is a shame you need to mask all that in front of everyone."
"This Sesshoumaru cannot appear weak," he simply replied.
The priestess shook her head. Feeling that the conversation had come to an end, she pulled the covers aside and settled down on her futon. She was feeling absolutely exhausted and had no doubt that she would have another trying day in store for the morrow.
Sesshoumaru followed her example. It was, after all, getting late.
They both lay silent in the dark. Her even breathing was making him feel sleepy as well. He closed his eyes and laid still.
Sesshoumaru did not have to strain his ears to catch the words softly spoken into the darkness.
"Somehow… I can't help but to think that neither of us is suited for this place."
-CcC-
Chie: Honne is a Japanese term that means a person's real thoughts and feelings, as opposed to tatemae, the façade. Because of the strict hierarchy of the Japanese society, as well as the wish to maintain harmony above everything, there are times one can't show one's "true colours". This holds true to Sesshoumaru as well, who has to live up to the expectations of his mother and his subjects in the court – not to mention the other ruling lords. Izumi was positively surprised when she found out what Sesshoumaru's true self is like.