I was curled up on Jon. She lie there unmoving as usual. I knew she could feel my tears soaking through her shirt but she didn't say anything. I'd let the letter hit the floor. It had been so long since i'd even thought about Ashley. How could I go back to Macomb after so much time had passed.
"I can't go Jon, what am I going to say to them that they don't already know?"
"I don't know the answer"
"Put your arms around me please?"
She moved her arms stiffly around my shoulders. I settled in further.
"Jon have you been to Georgia?"
"No."
"Do you want to go?"
"No"
"I have to go though."
"I didn't get that from what you read. I don't think that you have to go. You can want to or you can not want to."
She was right ofcourse, I could always depend on her to give me the black and white. The truth was always in her. Carmen knocked on the door.
"Come in"
She walked in and sat on the edge of the bed.
"Papa told me that you got a letter from your mother"
"Yea" I pointed to the letter on the floor. She picked it up and read it.
"Who is Ashley?"
"She is Spencer's girlfriend. Spencer's mother entered the room when they were having sex. Ashley is a remedial student who has failed to continue to the next grade level more than once thus she is two years older than Spencer . ..that is Spencer was seventeen while Ashley was nineteen. The law says that no adult may have intercourse with a minor. Because Ashley was and adult legally (if not mentally) and because of the conservative views held by many people in the south including Spencer's mother and grandmother, Spencer's mother charged Ashley with statutory rape as she has the right to do as Spencer's guardian. It is also stated in the law, if not as clearly, that sixteen is the age of consent. Because Spencer had reached the age of consent , she may be able to contest the charges if she makes a statement in Ashley's defense at the trial."
"Wow...um thank you Jon. You don't want to go Spence?"
"Not really"
"Why?"
"Spencer does not want to see Ashley. I have listened but I do not understand why."
"I don't wanna see her because I have finally healed and I don't wanna reopen old wounds." I said as I snuggled further into Jon.
"Spence,you have to. Even if you aren't interested in being with her you have to get her out of there so that she can move on with her life. It's only fair."
"What do you think Jon?"
"I know that when you say her name your eyes change. Your palm sweats. Your heart beats faster. I can feel it now. You change. "
"I get sad"
"I don't understand that, but I know I like it when you smile. It makes my heart beat faster. When you talk about Ashley, when you're sad, you don't smile and that makes my mouth dry. So I think that being near Ashley will make you change and I don't want that. I don't want you to go."
"Look at me Jon." She tilted her head to look in my eyes.
"I don't want to be away from you."
"Why not?"
"Because you're my best friend."
"What makes me better than all of the other ones?"
Carmen laughed.
"She means that you're her favorite Jon, your better because she likes you the best."
"Why?"
"Because you make me smile"
"How?"
"By being yourself." she turned away from me to think for a minute.
"I like you best too."
"Aw Jon...better than me?"
"Yes."
Carmen and I laughed.
///////////////////////////
I'd decided to talk to Arthur about whether or not I should go.
"You want eh...Ashley free yes?"
"Yea I do but I have had so much fun here, It's like I started a new life."
"Look around you mon fille, this is your home. It will always be you home, did you know that? It will be. When I think about this situation, I put myself in your mother's position. I have loved you from day one. I can't imagine not seeing you for one moment not to mention a year. Ce serait comme la mort. ( That would be like death) You have to go to them, because to do anything else would be cruel mon fille. "
He was right. I had to go back. I couldn't face it alone though. I'd have to convince Jon to go with me.
///////////////////////////////////
I walked back up the stairs to Carmen's room, where she , Jon, and Conner had been sitting.
"So...?" Carmen asked me.
"I'm going to go...but I can't go alone." I said looking at Jon who was staring at the wall.
"I'll go with you Spence."
"Yeah girl Car filled me in and I loves the drama. I'll be there." I hadn't him in mind but it would be ok.
"Jon, look at me." She turned to look at me.
"Will you go?"
"I do not want to go but I want to be where you are."
"Will you go then?"
"Yes" she said before staring off into space again. I ran over and hugged her.
/////////////////////////////
We all left a week later. That would give me just enough time to deal with the drama and gossip that would surely surround me so that my head would be clear when I had to face Ashley. Arthur charted a jet to fly us down there. Carmen and Conner were abuzz with excitement but I felt the knots settling into my stomach Jon had her hand in mine and had fell asleep as soon as we took off. There was no one to make me feel better about what I was doing. I was afraid to go to sleep myself because I knew when I opened my eyes we'd be in Atlanta and that would surely freak me out.