Demon with a growing Heart

Chapter 14,

A Real Heart and A True Phantomhive Butler

''Chuu-Chuu. The Train says Chuu-Chuu. This is my Chuu-Chuu….'' a voice said, quietly in memory, eyes staring at the object held in hand.

That voice belonged to the young Earl of Phantomhive and that object was his beloved toy, 'The Blue Chuu-Chuu Train'.

When stressed or in deep thought Chuu-Chuu always helps him to calm down and think more clearly but this time it's not working so well.

Ciel simply can't stop thinking about what's been going on the past few years, especially the things happening after reading that book laying on his butler's bed. That mysterious book which is a diary containing the butler's, that demon's, thoughts. Thoughts that the young Earl regrets knowing about.

He really did not want to think about anything diary, Sebastian or contract related so he yet again tried to calm down but this time he decided to do something more than just holding and 'talking' to his Chuu-Chuu.

Ciel did not care how it might look or if Sebastian was to come in and see, he simply sat down on the fluffy carpet and moved his beloved train back and forth, making 'Chuu-Chuu' sounds just like he used to do years ago…

''Oh wow! It's a Twain an' it's blue! M' favouwite colouw!

M' own Chuu-Chuu Twain!''

''Woo! Chuu-Chuu sliding down the staiws! Full speed! You go Chuu-Chuu!''

''Chuu-Chuu-Chu-Chu-Chu-Chu-Chu-CHUUUUUUUUUUU!'

The Twain says Chuu-Chuu. This is m' Chuu-Chuu. Whiiiii! I love you Chuu-Chuu!' Oh! I know why don't we show evwyone how much fun we have!''

''Chuu-Chuu….away….'' Ciel whispered quietly and hugged his toy tight, becoming to overwhelmed with his current thoughts and fond memories of the past.

The past that will never again be as it was before.

''There...there is no everyone….and...no….fun..'' Ciel rubbed his eyes, not noticing the wet tears, he thought that they were just itching.

The itching did not stop and irritated Ciel so he begun to rub harder as more tears fell without him noticing.

Suddenly the hand that he was rubbing with got pulled away and he felt something soft gently dabbing at his continuous tearing eyes and something else gently patting his shoulder. At first he was confused but when he looked at his shoulder and saw a gloved hand he froze.

Glancing up he saw Sebastian, expression rather serious but, if his itching eyes were not fooling him, Ciel thought that he saw a few small tears.

A few small tears on Sebastian, the demon that merely wants his soul and puts on illusions of care.

Blinking a few times Ciel suddenly slapped away the dabbing hand and quickly stood up like nothing happened and walked away from Sebastian, who let out a shocked gasp.

''Get out, this is an order.'' Ciel whispered slowly, breathing deeply and glaring at the still shocked butler.

Sebastian also stood up and walked towards Ciel.

''Young master. I will not leave until you are feeling-'' Sebastian begun to talk but Ciel quickly interrupted.

''Feeling? What do you know about feelings?'' Ciel said, sounding a bit hysterical.

''Young master please calm down.'' Sebastian said nervously, not sure what to do since he's never sensed Ciel to be in such a mode before.

Sebastian decided to come closer and pick him up and sing The Crows Song of Stillness, that at least usually helps to calm his young master down from nightmares, but Sebastian did not get far on his plan.

''DON'T COME ANY CLOSER, YOU DEMON!'' Ciel shouted loudly, Chuu-Chuu held close and tight.

''As I said before, I will not leave until you're calmer, my lord.'' Sebastian answered back, sounding not so nervous anymore and eyes starting to glow.

''It is my duty as the Phantomhive Butler to take care of you and that is exactly what I'm going to do.''

Ciel felt so many emotions at once but the most strongest of all was regret.

He deeply regrets to agreeing to that contract, to become the perfect demon feed and he also feels foolish for constantly falling for the demon's trap. The trap that he at times truly believes that the demon actually cares when in reality he cares about nothing.

He is simply a show-of getting stuck in the role of a butler so, naturally, he tries to do everything perfect and put on the mask that he is the best butler.

''You are no true Phantomhive Butler and your only duty is to follow my orders and then get what you truly want.'' Ciel said very slowly, breathing heavily and staring at the creature that thought he was a true butler.

''And how do you know what I truly want?'' Sebastian answered simply with no visible emotions at all and eyes glowing stronger, becoming more reder and slowly turning into his demon eyes.

Ciel was speechless, what kind of answer does he expect? His face might show nothing but his eyes says everything. The way they glow and how they slowly become more and more demonic by the minutes that go.

Although said to never lie what he is doing now is a big lie. That demon does not at all want Ciel to calm down, he enjoys, sensing all those painful emotions.

''No. That's not true. I do care and your pain is no enjoyment.'' Sebastian said silently.

Ciel was speechless. Did he just mind read?

''I want to make you feel better, to take away your pain-'' Sebastian begun with a expression sad but Ciel quickly got disgusted and tired of the demon's never ending facade. He could not kept it in him anymore so he just let it all out.

''Just stop...stop pretending that you truly care, demon. I have had enough of this. The revenge is pointless and I have no future. I ruined my life the moment I agreed to this path so just take it.'' The young Earl said with heavy breaths in between and tears pouring down non stop like a waterfall.

''What are you saying?'' Sebastian asked with really big surprised eyes just staring at the young child, teary eyed and toy held real tight in hand.

''Take….my...soul….''

''I will do no such thing even if it's a really nice and delicious and...and so perfect soul...I will not do it.''

''Just listen to yourself! You are praising it like it was some kind of world famous cuisine! So…..I ORDER YOU TO TAKE IT, TAKE MY SOUL SEBASTIAN! JUST DO IT!''

Taking a deep breath, Sebastian closed his eyes and went towards Ciel, turning into his demon form.

When he was really close to his young master he took another deep breath and simply picked him up.

Ciel closed his eyes, expecting his end but instead of experiencing what it was to get one's soul devoured he felt a hand gently patting his head and he heard the calming sound of Sebastian's usual singing when he has a nightmare. Ciel tried to fight the urge to fall asleep but the sleepiness won and he fell asleep, getting some much needed sleep since he was up last night reading that diary.

Sebastian carefully tucked his young master into bed as to not wake him up.

''I agree that the revenge is rather pointless and I myself have become tired of trying to understand what is going on with me but I believe I finally understand now…..I do indeed feel a real heart and what I truly want is you to be safe and have a bright future despite everything that's happened and I will make it happen because I am after all a true Phantomhive Butler.'' Sebastian said in a hushed whisper and then gave Ciel a gentle kiss on the head.

''Sweet dreams, my lord, and please no more diary reading, it's really, really no good for your health.'' he added and then went towards his own room, turning into his current human form.

As the young Earl slept peacefully with is Chuu-Chuu and the butler went away a pair of unnoticed eyes watched the sleeping child from the ceiling of the room….