Chapter 20: Stay Strong

It's time to head home again, and I couldn't be more relieved. No more ceremonies. No more spoiled, disgusting Capitol girls trying to take my Finnick away from me. No more parties, at least for a little while. No more feasts, except for the one waiting back home, but that won't be too bad. Most importantly, no more pretending that I'm not in love with Finnick, when really I am.

I board the train in good spirits, but I can't say the same for Finnick. He stands near the window, worry etched all over his face.

"Finn?" I ask, using my new nickname for him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, really. I'm just worried about you, as usual."

"Why?"

"Don't worry about it. I'm probably just paranoid."

"Finnick," I say as firmly as I can, "nothing's going to happen to me. I promise."

"I sure hope so," Finnick replies, and continues staring out the window. Leaning my head against his chest, I join him in gazing at the scenery whizzing by.

When we get back to 4, instead of a large crowd as I expected, all that is waiting for us is the mayor and two peacekeepers. The mayor has a grim expression on his face. Finnick gets off the train to speak with him while I stay behind with Mags. When he comes back, his face is very pale.

"There's no ceremony," Finnick says solemnly. "At least, not yet. Right now we need to get you home."

I don't question him; I just follow. Finnick, Mags, and the mayor escort me to my house and into the living room. The house for the most part is dark and quiet. "Where's my family?" I ask as they sit me down on the couch.

"Annie," Finnick sighs, sitting down next to me, "yesterday your father, Arianna, and Archer went out in the boat and… something went wrong. There was an electrical problem or and oil leak or something. There was an explosion. They're gone…"

As soon as my brain makes the connection, I'm transported to my glass box. Outside, my family sails on our boat. I want to join them, until suddenly it explodes into a fiery inferno. I scream and close my eyes, not wanting to see anymore. Why? Why did this happen? Back in reality, Finnick holds me in his arms, and I immediately start to cry. How can this be? My father, Arianna, Archer… gone? Suddenly, a realization hits me like a tsunami wave. "Ava!" I exclaim frantically. "You didn't say Ava!"

"She wasn't on the boat," the mayor explains. She's in her room, and says she won't come out for anyone but you."

I leap up from the couch and bolt up the stairs to Ava's room. I don't care if I'm not even stable myself; my little sister needs me. I knock softly on her door and keeping my voice as steady as I can, I say, "Ava? It's me."

The door opens just enough for my sister to yank me in, and it slams shut behind me. Ava practically slams herself into me and sobs into my chest. We move to the bed, and holding her in my arms, we cry together. It could have been five minutes, or it could have been an hour. I don't know. I was focusing on not slipping into my glass box like I usually do, because my little sister needs me. I have to be strong, if not for myself, then for her.

"I should have been there too," Ava whispers after a while. "But I didn't go because I wasn't feeling well."

"I'm very glad you didn't," I tell her. "I don't think I could handle losing you, too."

Ava looks up at me. "But what about Dad? And Archer and Arianna?"

I sigh. "Well, it hurts. We're going to miss them terribly. Of course we are. But we have each other, and that makes things a little bit…" I trail off, lost in thought.

"Easier?" Ava asks, and I nod.

"Exactly. We'll make it through it together. Ready to go downstairs now?"

Ava nods, and taking each other's hands, we rejoin the others downstairs.

That night I ask Finnick to stay at my house, because I don't think I can make it through the night without him.

"Of course," He replies. "I'm sure I'll be pretty comfortable on the couch.

"Actually, I was hoping you could sleep in my room. With me…"

"Oh!" Finnick says, sounding surprised, but happy at the same time. "Fine with me."

Finnick, Ava, and I go to bed early. I crawl under the covers and expect Finnick to do so too, but he just stands there.

"Finnick?" I ask. "Is something wrong?"

"This is the first time I've ever gotten in a bed with someone I actually love." Finnick replies before slowly sliding in next to me.

"Oh, Finn," I sigh, hugging him close.

"I like it better this way," Finnick says, kissing me gently. We lie there in the dark for a few minutes before he says, "Annie, there's something I need to tell you."

"Yes?"

"I… I killed your family."

After taking a minute to comprehend his words, I say, "I don't understand. What do you mean?"

Finnick explains how when he was making love to an important Capitol woman, he accidentally uttered my name. The woman, who was not named Annie, chased him out, and Finnick thinks she told Snow, causing him to demand for the death of my family. He also says that if he let me distract him from his errands, Snow would punish me. "It's all my fault. I'm so sorry."

"It's not, Finnick. You didn't try to make that happen. It just did. There's nothing we can do about it now."

"Are you sure?"

"Finnick, I love you. Nothing's going to change that."

"I love you too."

Soon afterward, I fall asleep in Finnick's arms.

On the day of the funeral, I get myself ready and help Ava with her hair. Our family's bodies have been turned to ashes, and are ready to go. In Four, a traditional funeral takes place midmorning. The mayor leads the funeral by saying a few words, and if they are able to do so, so does a family member or friend. Then family and loved ones board a boat, carrying the deceased person's ashes in a small box. They then disperse the ashes in the ocean, returning them to the sea.

Ava and I don't have the strength to talk to the crowd that has gathered, but a friend of our father speaks for us. After he speaks, we board the boat and say our final goodbyes.

Back home many people come to the door, offering small sympathy gifts, and just when I think no one else is coming, there is another knock at the door.

I open the door to find Superior standing there. I let her in, and she gives me a silent hug. "I'm so sorry, Annie," She says finally. "For everything."

I've heard those words so many times I don't know what to say anymore. I don't want to talk about my family, and Superior understands this, having lost her family as well. After a while, she says, "you were right, Annie."

"About?"

"Dylan."

"Did you break up with him?"

Superior winces. "You could say that. He wanted me to sleep with him, and I refused. We had our biggest fight yet," She rolls up her sleeve to reveal a large, purple bruise on her upper arm, and I gasp. "He ended up storming out, and the next day I caught him kissing another girl. Needless to say, the break-up was mutual. "

"Sue, I'm so sorry." I whisper, hugging my best friend. I'm not sorry they broke up; I'm happy about that. I'm sorry she had to go through something so terrible.

"Why did I have to be so blind?" Superior sighs. "If I'd just opened up my eyes, it would just be a matter of time before I found he was no good for me. I was so stupid!"

I shake my head. "You're only eighteen. There's plenty of time to heal and find someone new."

Superior smiles. "Thanks, Annie. I knew I could count on you." With that, we just sit on the couch and talked, like how we used to before everything changed.

Author's Note: Please don't kill me. If you do, my Hunger Games Roleplaying Forum will send out evil purple leprechauns to attack you. :) Anyways, hope you're having a fabulous 2013 so far!

Next chapter: Christmas comes to District 4, and Annie meets Meredith Odair, Finnick's adoring mother. Also, as the reaping for the 71st games draws near, Annie wonders how she is going to deal with not having Finnick around.