CHAPTER TWENTY

"Talk? I have absolutely nothing to ever say to you again." I could feel myself begin to tremble and I could see Edward's eyes falter my words. "Edward Masen…do not ever come near me again."

With everything in me I turned around and focused back on my serving tray.

"Please…give me a chance…there's so much I need to tell you." Edward spoke softly behind me.

"I SAID NO!" I couldn't control my outburst. It had every person pause and look at us.

"Bella…are you okay?" I heard Jacob step near me, "Edward. What's this about?"

I was immediately surprised that Jacob would know Edward but Edward did say that Jacob had been coming here for years so he must have met him in the past. I was impressed that Jacob would even care to remember the name of a homeless guy.

"Jacob, mind your own goddamn business and get back to your cameras." Edward spit.

"Is he bothering you?" Jacob asked me.

I nodded unable to say anything.

Jacob handed me his tongs. "Why don't you take over dinner roll duty and I will take over your spot. If Edwards wants to harass somebody, he can harass me."

Jacob gave Edward a cool challenging glare while helping me switch places with him. Pushing me farther from Edward and I was never more thankful.

"Edward." Alice came up seeing the line freeze. "Come on."

She pulled him by the arm toward the swinging kitchen door and disappeared to the kitchen.

"Are you okay?" Jacob asked me.

I nodded and tried to calm myself down.

"Was he a jerk to you? I could go and kick his ass if you like?" Jacob smiled at me.

I couldn't help but laugh and feel marginally better. I had just humiliated myself in front of a celebrity and here he was trying to make it all better.

"Thanks…but…" I started.

"You're the kind of girl who can do all of her own ass kicking, right?"

"Something like that." I shook my head and put my focus back onto the rolls.

"That's hot. A Bella who works at soup kitchens and can kick ass? Where have you been all my life?"

"Do any of your cheesy lines actually work on women?" I rolled my eyes playfully.

"Normally it doesn't matter what I say…just being a celebrity is usually enough. People just…want to be around me for that and I don't have to work so hard on my personality or be charming. I think you're the first person I have to really work on in a long time."

"Work on? Why would you even care to put out any effort at all? I am certainly no Mila Kunis." I replied.

"True." He nodded, "You're way better. Mila…always has a stick up her ass. You look like fun Bella. Do you like to have fun?"

"Of course, what do you think I am…some girl with…a big stick up her ass."

It was so easy to talk to Jacob. He didn't try to always outsmart me. I didn't feel like I had work to speak to him. It just came…easy. He was funny and treated me like I was some Brazilian model and not just some mistake.

I looked back toward the kitchen and felt a wave of fury come over me once more. I wanted to march right into that kitchen and give Edward the thrashing of a lifetime. How dare he ever make me feel lowly. It was such a contrast from Jacob. Jacob was fun. Jacob…wasn't work.

Alice came up to me toward the end of the night. She rung her little hands and looked nervous. I guess the press had brought her anxiety.

"You and Jacob seem to be…hitting it off. I've never seen him stay here this long before. He must really like you."

"I think he does. I mean…it's stupid because he could have anyone in the world but he's…such a breath of fresh air. I don't have to think and feel bad about myself all the time. He's really nice, Alice."

"Yeah…he…is." She said uneasy. "Just…be careful. He can be charming one minute and flip on you the next."

"Hey Alice." Jacob came up and put an arm around Alice's small shoulders before I could ask her anything further. "Thanks so much for letting me come here and be a part of this. Bella here has been the best. You should promote her."

"I don't think they have promotions for volunteer positions." I laughed.

"Well then I should definitely treat you to dinner. All your hard work around here, I would be honored." Jacob unwrapped himself from Alice and spoke to me directly.

"Really?" I felt like a school girl all over again. I was one binder away from having B loves J scribbled upon it.

"Absolutely. I know a great place and this shit is almost over, I'm sure Alice could take it from here, right Alice?"

I looked over to Alice and she seemed to be confused or something, "Um…sure but why don't you go and grab your things why Jacob and I finish this line."

"Thanks Alice, you're the best." I practically squealed and took off toward the swinging door. I virtually sprinted to my locker and quickly removed my things.

I had a date with Jacob Black. It was so juvenile but I couldn't resist. I pulled out my phone and texted a number I hadn't even looked at in over a month.

Hey Lauren…just thought you should know that I completed our bet and I really have to thank you for this because I have a date with Jacob Black. Check out TMZ tomorrow, I know how you love proof. Love ya!

With an enormous smile on my face I headed back toward the cafeteria.

"So I guess this is it. No more Horizons. You finished your bet, Bella."

I was startled by Edward's voice as I looked up from my phone and saw him standing in my path.

"What do you care? I'm just some mistake, right? Well…this mistake has a date with one of the biggest celebrities on the planet." My face was flushed and I was irritated at myself for even feeling my tear ducts producing for Edward Masen.

"I never said you were a mistake. What I did was a mistake…"

"Like there's a big difference." I interjected. "I don't care what you have to say. For the first time in days…I'm actually happy. Hell, in the first time in weeks, I fucking over the moon. Jacob Black asked me out! And you're not going to ruin this for me."

"Jacob is an asshole. He put a girl…a child practically in the hospital and instead of doing the right thing and checking on her, he's here for publicity. You don't know him, Bella. You have no idea just what kind of a person he really is?"

"And you do." I mocked.

"Yes. I DO!" He yelled. "He will use you for whatever he wants and discard you so quickly your head will spin. I know you Bella. I know you know this is wrong. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Of course not. You're the only one allowed to hurt me, right?"

He faltered, "Bella…I'm so…"

"Save it. I am finally getting everything I ever wanted. Jacob is funny and doesn't make me feel like I'm a horrible person. He is ten times the man you'll ever be. Edward Masen who parades around being homeless when he could actually do something with his life. You're smart and talented and yet you waste away down here in the slums. I thought I had feelings for you and now I know it was just my body needing a pity fuck."

"I can't believe that either. What would a rich bitch like you ever seen in someone like me? You got your head so high up in the clouds that you haven't even been able to really see me. You think that you deserve someone like Jacob Black because you're rich and can blow your cash on fancy outfits to impress him. You think you better than everyone else, don't you Bella. ARE YOU BETTER THAN ME? DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THEN THE PEOPLE OUTSIDE THAT DOOR?" He yelled.

"YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I AM!" I screamed. "I am better and I finally realize that I am not a mistake. You're the mistake Edward Masen. Ever since you came into my life, you have been one gigantic mistake and now I know that I never should have come here. I don't belong here and I certainly don't belong with you. But hey, it's just like you once said to me, Jacob and I will make perfect little money-grubbing babies so in the end I guess you were right about me all along. "

I shook my head and refused to look at him any longer as I made my way toward the swinging door I practically fell into Jacob's arms lost in my own thoughts. I was panting as my heart raced from my confrontation.

"I'm sorry." I pushed myself off Jacob's arms.

"It's okay…what happened?" he asked concerned.

"I just want to get the fuck out of here." I trembled.

"Of course. Let's blow this shit." He gave me a small smile and wrapped his arm around me for comfort leading me toward the door. We walked out to his Maserati parked on the street and he helped me in. I placed a hand on my chest as I felt my heart pump erratically.

"Where to, my lady?" Jacob asked sliding into his soft leather driver seat.

"Any place far away from here."

I looked out at the bright yellow building and came to terms with the fact that this would be the last time I would ever come here again. As much as I hated it; I couldn't help but think over some fond memories. This was the place I made genuine friendships. This was the place that had awaken me up from my sad closed off little world.

I regretted what I said to Edward. I didn't mean it. I wasn't better than he was. I wasn't better than the poor people who sat behind these walls.

"Uh…Jacob…I'm really sorry but…do you think you can just drop me off at my house…I don't think I'm in the mood for going out tonight and I would hate to ruin the night for you too."

He had a funny look on his face and shook his head. "To be honest…I'm not really in the mood to be alone. I don't know how much you've heard but…I feel like a piece of shit. I was really hoping for some company. I guess that's why I'm drawn to you…you don't judge me and I don't feel like you just using me either."

"I have no right to judge anyone…ever again. These past few months have been…exhausting."

"You know…I have this private villa back at my hotel and it has it's own mini pool. We could order food and lay around in the heated waters and completely bitch. I won't judge you and I all I ask for is the same."

I exhaled and thought about my house for a minute. There was nothing there but St. Agnes and I really didn't want to spend the rest of my life in her. I needed to bitch. It would therapeutic.

"That sounds nice." I smiled softly. "Plus, I really doubt you want to be seen with someone wearing this." I waved down at my Horizons shirt.

"You look fantastic and I wouldn't care one bit what anyone thought. In fact, maybe after the pool we could go out and I will gladly show you off to the world."

I thought I would feel a weight being lifted as we drove farther and farther from Horizons. I thought Jacob was going to be the answer I needed but there was no stopping my invading thoughts. I couldn't press pause on Edward's and my final argument. Would I ever see him again? Was it really over?

I pushed back the tears and looked out the window, afraid Jacob would catch me crying in his beautiful expensive car. I needed to move on. I needed to get Edward out of my mind. What was that saying? To get over one guy, you have to get under another.

"We're here." Jacob announced pulling up to the front of the hotel. A valet opened my door and Jacob came around quickly to take my hand. We walked through the lobby and out to the side where his cottage resided. It was beautiful and if it had been any other day, I'm sure my insides would have melted but I was too in thought to regard it.

"Why don't you make yourself comfortable. I'll put an order in for some…pick me ups."

I smiled softly and started walking around his apartment. I walked toward the sliding glass door to see a small area outside with a pool and ample foliage. I stared down at the pool reliving a past moment. It was all very beautiful but it was the first time I felt completely uneasy. In the past I always took control. I decided who and when and where and now nothing was in my hands.

I felt Jacob come up behind me and put his arms around me. He began nibbling on my neck but I quickly stopped him.

"Uh…maybe we could…talk for a little bit?"

He furrowed his brow and pulled back, "Talk? Uh…what…would you want to talk about?"

"Well…you did say this was supposed to be a bitch fest….how are we to bitch if your tongue is down my throat?"

Jacob cracked his neck and walked over to a chair to flop down. "All right…talk."

"You don't need to be so damn annoyed…sorry if I ruined your mood. I guess I was under a different impression. Nevermind." I started to walk out but he rapidly jumped up and grabbed my hand.

"Sorry…I was an asshole…I've just been under a lot of pressure lately and I was thinking with the wrong brain. Please forgive me."

I sighed and allowed him to pull me back toward the mini pool.

"So…Bella…what would you like to start the bitching off with."

I chewed on my lip.

"You know how earlier you asked me…what I was doing in a place like Horizons. I said that you wouldn't believe it even if I told you…well…it's a kind of a funny story."

What was I doing? Why the hell was I rambling on about this? But I was unable to be stopped.

"You see…a friend of mine…ex friend of mine…bet me that I wouldn't be able to meet you or talk to you…" I cringed.

"And…that has to do with Horizons…how?" He looked absolutely confused but at least for the moment not ready to jump me.

"I tried everything…I tried finding you while you jogged and all that got me was bloody legs and a fucking sunburn but then I met this guy…and he told me that you came to Horizons for Thanksgiving every year for charity." I paused and took a breath. "You have no idea the amount of shit I have had to go through to get to this moment and now that I'm here and you're there…looking sexy and apparently desperate for sex…I can't stop thinking of my homeless dude."

Why was I tearing up?

Don't do that Bella!

Stop it!

Not in front of the celebrity.

"You fell for a homeless guy?" Jacob asked utterly disgusted.

"Why are you so grossed out? I thought you would understand." I replied offended.

"Why in the hell would I understand?"

"Because you told those reporters that you knew how it felt… you said something about being there once. Living out of a car and such."

He started laughing, "I always say that shit because the press eats it up. There is no way I would ever live on the streets. My father would never allow it."

The arrogance made me nauseous but then it just reminded me that I was no better.

"Edward is more than just a homeless guy." I huffed. "He is an amazing human being that just wants to help out and make a difference."

"Edward?" Jacob looked confused, "The guy that was fighting with you tonight? Edward Cullen."

It stopped for a second.

"Edward…Masen…the guy that was fighting with me tonight. His name is…Edward Masen." I corrected slowly.

"No." He drawled, "That was Edward Cullen…"

Jacob smile started slowly until he could no longer contain himself.

"Edward told you he was homeless?" He started laughing, "Is that how he gets chicks in bed these days."

It stopped again and then I could feel my chest start to rise increasingly. So my heart must have started up once more. I could feel every sweat gland working overtime as my head started to fill in the puzzle my brain has worked on for the past few weeks. My throat was dry and the only thing that would make any sense right now is if this was some kind of joke Jacob was playing.

"Edward Cullen?" I asked.

"Edward Cullen?" I repeated, the feeling leaving a taste on my tongue.

"Yeah…Edward Cullen. The son of Carlisle Cullen…I grew up with them. He's some…hot shot LA Times reporter now."

The big secret.

I finally found out the big secret but it did not bring me the relief I had hoped for. I could feel my damn eyes perk with tears.

"He's…not homeless." I stated unevenly.

"Unless you count having a penthouse at the Milano, homeless. But I doubt the IRS would see things that way."

"The Milano?" I spit knowing full well how pricy that property was.

I fixated on my fingers turning them into a tiny mighty fist.

"I have to go." I started to leave but Jacob jumped up from his chair and landed in my path.

"Awe come on. You're not going to let Cullen fuck this up."

"Jacob…it's been very nice to meet you but there is someplace I need to be." I tried to walk around him but he grabbed my arm swiftly.

"Would you just hold on? I'm the one who helped you out…what about some kind of appreciation?"

His hold was practically violent and normally I might bend to his forcefulness but Hades himself would not mess with me right now.

"Let…me…go." I warned.

"And if I don't?" He smiled at me the famous Jacob Black smile. Trying to be charming.

I relaxed myself for a moment and sighed. He let go of me proud of his accomplishment and I waited for exactly two seconds before pulling back and hitting him with everything in me.

I had never before hit a person and it was a lot more painful than I ever imagined but it gave me the opportunity to flee as Jacob grabbed him nose while yelling obscenities. I cradled my hand running through the cottage and out the front door.

I rushed out of the hotel and toward the valet stand, asking for a taxi. A thousand thoughts ran through my mind as I prepared myself for reaching the Milano. A penthouse at the Milano. I would knock on every last one until I found him and Edward better thank Jacob that my hand could not begin to take another swing at present moment.

Edward Cullen!

Edward fucking Cullen!

I shook my head at every single moment I ever felt sorry for him.

He was a fucking Cullen…he was…Alice's brother…

My heart stopped again and for the first time I finally realized that she knew all along. This whole thing was just one big lie. The only friend I had made…was just a lie too.

My anger dissipated and now I was left with pain and emptiness.

I stood outside the Milano and all its magnificence trying to find even a shred of brain power left to make the walk through those doors. Somehow I believe my legs moved on their own and I found myself at the elevators all too quickly.

My finger shook with its bloody knuckle as I reached out to press the PH button. I'm sure the sight of me would have given question if there was anyone on the elevator to share the ride but alas I was alone heading toward the truth. A part of me still holding out hope that Jacob was wrong.

I exited the elevator and walked to the very first door which stood in front of me. I had no idea how late in the evening it even was. How long was I at Jacob's? Edward could very well be asleep…if he lived here. I pressed the buzzer and waited without a breath in me.

The door swung open.

Truth.

I found a breath.

So did he.

"Bella…"

I involuntarily was already shaking my head not really having believed it until this moment.

"Secret. I thought…you were gay…an alcoholic. You were married. Had AIDS." I tried to remain calm but that didn't last, "I WOULD HAVE ACCEPTED ANY ONE OF THOSE THINGS."

"Come in." Edward opened his door before turning to walk back into his apartment.

Reluctantly I followed still trembling with anger. I looked around at the plushy apartment that shined of money from top to bottom. There was mess of papers on a table nearby and a bottle of scotch nearly empty. The view that overlooked downtown Los Angeles was breathless and every single element in this place brought more and more betrayal.

Edward tipped the last of the contents from the scotch bottle into a small glass and sat down in a wide leather chair.

"How could you…? What were…? What the fuck?" I yelled.

"Oh you don't get to judge me, Bella." He lashed out. "Did Jacob tell you? What are you even doing here? I thought you were supposed to be off living your dreams with him and producing money-grubbing spawns."

It would be so easy to completely unload on him and make this I'm sure one the most epic shouting matches to ever occur but as angry as I was, I was hurt far more. I didn't want him to see the hurt. I needed him to see the anger.

"So…why did you do it? Why did you lie to me all those weeks…was this just some kind of...was I just some kind of amusement you could play your little games on? Did you just…fuck with me for the sake of some story? I know you're a reporter…you son of a bitch."

"Ooooohhh yes Bella…all of this is about you…everything that ever happens in the world is about you. You're just the center of it all and we are lucky enough to be blessed by your presence."

He tipped the last of the alcohol back and swallowed it before continuing on. However I wasn't sure if he was speaking to me or speaking to himself.

"Of course it's about you….that whole fucking article that supposed to make a difference just turned into some crap piece on Isabella Swan. I was supposed to inspire…I wanted to shed light on the good people and in the end…it was just a fucking Isabella Swan disaster."

"What the fuck are you talking about? What article?" I asked desperately.

He finally focused back on me and shook his head like he couldn't believe I was standing in front of him.

"If you came here to ask me to take it back…I can't. It's already being published for the morning paper."

I shook my head and gulped, "You… wrote a story…about me?"

Edward set his glass down on the table and exhaled softly.

"I wanted…so much for you Bella. I thought you were going to be something I looked back on and felt proud of…like if I could just change your perspective even a small amount…then maybe I could make a difference. But you haven't changed. You're never going to change. You will always be…selfish, stuck up Bella Swan looking for the hot rich guy in the room while stepping over people like me.

I gave a short ironic laugh.

"I never once said I was a good person. You run around and make it your duty to show everyone around you how they are a piece of shit for having money or success. You act all high and mighty and you hold up a mirror to show us how disgusting we all are, well congratulations, now you can hold up that mirror to your own self and see that you are just like me."

"Don't let this fool you…" He started to say while standing up out of his posh chair.

"Fool me? That's all you did….for a story…that's what I was worth."

My hurt had won out.

"You wanted to write a story about a Richie Bitch who you could fool into falling for a homeless dude…and you did it! You succeeded in making me fall for you. I believed every single word you ever said to me…even when you said…" I sniffled and stopped myself. "I may be a horrible person Edward Cullen. And I know it. But at least I'm not a hypocrite."

I saw him take a breath like he had just woken up for the first time in this conversation but he stood there silent unable to even comment.

"You got me to believe that I had real…genuine friends. You managed to make me trust in people…you didn't just break my trust…you broke my heart."

I felt betrayed by my very own tears. I didn't want him to have the satisfaction of knowing how he had hurt me but the evidence was written all over my face and there was no dismissing it. I felt my body slump as I shook my head one last time taking in the sight of him. Edward Cullen. The only man to have ever had the chance at my heart and he discarded it so easily.

I did not find gratification in his own body which mirrored my own. I couldn't take one more moment of looking at him now because if I had, I would surly want to take a running leap at his massive glass windows first.

"Bella…" he softly called out to me.

I stopped briefly with my back turned to him.

"I'm…so sorry…please don't believe what I wrote about you…I am so sorry." His shattered voice managed.

Nothing more than a mistake. Nothing more than just some story. I was nothing more to Edward Cullen, the first man I ever loved.

AN: So nervous to post this because this was one of the first chapters I thought about when I started writing this story. Nervous to know what you think...